Hehehe... So, I decided to try my hand at a Harry Potter fanfic. Umm... It's Marauder's generation. I made it humor, but I guess it wasn't that funny.

I don't own the Harry Potter charcters. If I did, Sirius would still be alive... and tied up in my closet wearing nothing but boxers. Just kidding! (sorta...)

Sirius POV

I hear giggling behind me, and I just know that she's staring at me again. Ugh. At the beginning of the year, when the first years were being Sorted, Dumbledore announced that Hogwarts had registered in a Student Exchange Program. The American Wizarding school, whatever it was called, I forgot, had sent us one of their students, and we gave them one of ours. It wouldn't have been so bad, since new friends are cool, but we didn't get a Marauder-to-be. We got her.

"Her" is this psycho bitch named Snickerdoodle Snicket who developed an enormous fancy for me on eye-contact. Now she stalks me all day and does freaky things like flirt with me and tell everyone we're getting married. To make the whole thing even more embarassing, Snicket's a first year, and I'm a sixth.

So now I'm working on this DADA essay that Moony won't help me with, and as I sit here in the library with lots of books open, I can hear her annoyingly squeaky voice chatting and giggling and feel her eyes on my back, watching me obsessively. Sigh. Snicket probably wouldn't be so bad, since she's a lot like Moony (that is, super smart but mischievous and funny), but her freaky doting on me is a huge turn-off. So I try -and fail- to avoid her as much as possible.

A few hours have passed, and I've finished supper and am ready to head back to the common room. But my peripheral vision spots someone in front of me, and I stop instinctively to avoid a collision.

"Oh, hi, Sirius," she says in that high voice. The hairs on the back of my neck raise in horror, and I lift my head to look at her full-on.

Snicket's face is always pale, her eyes are muddy-green, and her hair is made up of lots of shades of blonde, brown, and everything in between. She's kind of pretty, and kind of ugly. Like a beautiful woman who grows old and becomes wrinkly, but still has a hint of the old beauty. I've grown to despise that face, the face that belongs to the stalkerish, psychotic, unnatractive liar that constantly begs for my affection, almost as much as I despise the face of Snivellus.

Maybe I'm simply overstating things in my irritation, but I definitely don't like her.

"So like, I was wondering... You probably know about that party in the Gryffindor common room, since you're a Gryffindor-" By the way, she's a Ravenclaw. "-and I was invited too, so, like, would you want to go together or something?"

I growl. "Look Snicket, I know you fancy me, but I'm five years older than you and not even remotely attracted to you."

She snickers, and replies with a grin, "Okay, Black, I should probably tell you this now before you strangle me out of annoyance. I don't actually 'fancy' you, as you English people say," She makes air quotes with her fingers around the word "fancy". "In case you didn't notice, I'm not super socially adept. Me pretending to have a crush on the hottest guy in school -that would be you, by the way- is a huge step towards actually seeming normal. I'll just appear publicly with you, and then tell my friends the next day that I'm not interested in you anymore. Easy as pie."

She doesn't fancy me? As in, I go to one stupid party with her and the annoying game would stop? Pretty good deal to me!

"Okay, Snicket, I'll go to the party with you. But I won't kiss you or dance with you."

"That's fine. Just bring me a drink. I can't dance anyway."

So, she actually acted relatively normal during the party, and it wasn't half bad. Plus, she stopped the next day, as promised. You know, Snickerdoodle (yes, first name basis) is actually okayish when she's just your friend. Plus, when Moony won't help me with (and when I say that you know I mean do) my homework, I can usually just turn to her. Five years younger than me, yes, but dang, she knows a lot.

Like for example, how did she know about this?

"So, new girlfriend, huh?" she asks casually, and I almost spit out my pumpkin juice.

"How did you know?" I exclaim. Daphne and I had just started dating, and were so not official yet!

"I'm a girl, I know these things. Though I must say, I'm a little surprised..."

"Why?"

"Well, I always thought you were gay..."

Pfft! This time I really do do a spit-take. "Why would you think that?" And how did you know?... Again!

"Well... He's your best mate, of course, but you do express a special fondness for Remus..."

"So?" I screech.

"A very special fondness for Remus... But you know, he loves you too."

"He does?" I try not to seem too interested, but my heart skips a beat.

"Yeah, stupid." She snorts and shakes her head. Then her voice takes on a sarcastic tone. "But anyway, you wouldn't care about that, since you're not gay. Let's just change the subject."

Snickerdoodle Snicket, I love you like a sister, I think reverently. What wonders this new information could do!

Only one more thing to do before I go to bed.

"Oh, Moony..."

"Yes, Padfoot?"

"I was talking with Snickerdoodle earlier today, and she passed along some gossip you should hear..."

So, how did I do? Was it funny, cute, awesome, suckish? Tell me! I want to know if you guys think I'm worthy to play with Jo's characters some more, and maybe add to this...?

Update: Oi! This month, I've had seventy people look at this story, and NO reviews. What's up with that?