CHAPTER TITLE: Reliving the Past

SUMMARY: Jess took a deep breath and glanced down at the letter. He knew he wouldn't be able to ignore it forever. He sighed again and started to read.

A/N: I don't know the exact dates all this happened, so I'm using the airdates from the DVD booklets.

DISCLAIMER: No rant this time, I just own none of this. I just watch, read and write about it.

RANDOM THOUGHTS: Did anyone notice In the Clamor and the Clangor that in the window of Doose's Market, right before Lorelai and Luke break the bells, that they are selling aspirin and earplugs? Just thought that was slightly amusing. Also, Bert was a different color. He used to be grey. In this episode, Bert is bright red. Also, the blue shirt Lane wears from Yale to her house is the same one Lorelai wore in The Breakup Part 2. I need to not watch so much of this show. To defend myself though, I only noticed the shirt part because I really like that shirt.

RELIVING THE PAST

MAY 22, 2005

Jess Mariano couldn't believe it. It had been two years since he had heard from Rory Gilmore, aside from a handful of random meetings. And now, he was looking through his mail and saw the thick, padded envelope with the return address from Yale University. There was only one person he knew that went there.

Her.

Even knowing that, he still couldn't comprehend it. He felt his heart skip a beat.

"How did she get my address? How did she even know that I lived in Philadelphia?" Jess thought out loud, staring at the envelope in his hands. The second he had asked it he realized that he knew the answer.

"Luke…" he said, turning the letter over. His uncle must have broken down and told Rory where he was.

He was almost terrified of what he would see when he looked inside the envelope. It probably would be filled with anger and sadness. He was sure of that. He opened the letter, flipped quickly through all of the pages, and the first thing that he noticed was that the ink was different colors. She had probably started it two years ago and added on every time she saw it.

Jess took a deep breath and glanced down at the letter. He knew he wouldn't be able to ignore it forever. He sighed again and started to read.

----

May 20, 2005

Dear Jess,

After writing the last letter a few days ago, I realized that I should send these to you. These are letters that I had written to you over the past few years and not sent. I started them after you called my cell phone on the day of my high school graduation. There are a lot of them, considering for two years I sent you one almost every week, except during the summer and winter breaks. You can read them, or not, but please at least read the first letter. I wrote to you because I wished that you were still there to witness everything with me. I felt that if I was ever able to send them, you'd be able to, somewhat. I missed you the past two years and I still do. I don't think that I ever won't.

I'm sure that after reading these, you will have stuff to ask or mock me about and you are welcome to call me. My cell number hasn't changed, so please, call. If not to just talk, just to let me know you got this.

Still missing you, after two years,

Love,

Rory

----

Jess flipped over the page, knowing that he had to read the first one at least and sighed as he continued to read.

----

May 20, 2003

Dear Jess,

I have so many things to tell you but don't know how to say them. I figured I would try to put them in a letter.

I know I said most of these things when you called me (at least I am almost positive it was you), but I feel the need to see them in print. I feel the need for you to see them in print also. You can't ignore things as much when they are right in front of you.

You handled things wrong. You could have told me that your dad had come. I would have been happy to listen to anything and everything you wanted to tell me. I don't think you understood that. It hurts to know that you can't, and didn't, talk to me.

You could have told me that you were flunking out. I know it was because of absences; Luke told me. I don't get why you let it get so carried away. You are ten times smarter than most of the kids in that school. I don't understand why you didn't tell me that either. I asked you if you were going to school enough, and you said yes. Why did you lie to me? You could have easily been at the top of your class, maybe even the valedictorian. If you had tried, I mean. Did it really mean that little to you?

I remember, on the night of the car wreck, when you said that you really didn't care what you did, as long as you got out of Stars Hollow. I guess you got that, but you didn't think about what you would do when you got out. Getting out wasn't the hard part. Staying out is.

I think I know why you are in California. I'm not quite sure, but I have an idea. I understand that your dad came, and if you went to see him more, then I get it. If you had to go just to try to 'find yourself', as much as I hate to say those words, then I guess I get that too.

Again, I think I may have loved you, but I just have to let that go. I'm not quite sure how, but don't worry. I'll try to find a way.

Anyway, I hope you're good. I want you to be good. I hope everything works out with your dad.

I'll miss you.

Love,

Rory

----

Jess sighed and leaned back into his chair. He hadn't thought about how much this must have hurt Rory. And that was only the first actual page. He remembered that he didn't have to read all of them, but felt like he should. He winced though, because all the pages, when held together, were pretty thick. He hoped that she wrote bigger in the others; he didn't think that he could handle too much more.

He tried to clear his head, and settled down to read the next page.

----

September 30, 2003

Dear Jess,

I started college today. Yale University. It seems like it's going to be hard. Fun, but hard.

My mom and I did the whole Europe trip thing. It was amazing. That's the only word I can think of to describe it. When we were buying gifts for everyone in the town, it made me sad knowing that one of these gifts wouldn't be for you.

I wish you were going to be around. I don't even know where you are. I can't exactly send this to you yet. I guess I'll try to find out from Luke. I hope this isn't bothering you, me writing to you. I just feel better if I at least attempt to tell you these things.

I hope that you are happy when you read this. You supported this decision. After all, you were partially the reason I went here instead of Harvard or Princeton. It was going to be close to you. But, now that you are gone, it makes me feel a little empty. I hope Yale is the right place for me.

Oh, on a weirder, slightly happier note, you would never guess who one of my roommates is.

Paris Gellar.

I wish I was kidding. An hour or two after I got here, I came out of my room to find Paris and her life coach (yes, like on Oprah) were in the living room setting up her 'Crafts Corner'. I don't expect you to believe me. I could barely believe myself, and I saw the whole thing! My other two roommates are slightly more normal. (I stress slightly.) Their names are Janet and Tanna.

Well, I guess I just wanted to give you an update. I hope to talk to or see you again. Soon.

Missing you,


Love,

Rory

-----

Jess finished reading that letter and smiled. He was happy when he read it. So Paris was in Rory's life again, he thought. Then his smile faded. He felt horrible that Rory was upset about not seeing him. The small grin crept across his face yet again while remembering the conversation when he had surprised Rory with knowing the exact distance from the middle of Stars Hollow to Yale. The grin grew when he pictured the smile on her face while listening to him.

Then he realized something. This was sort of like a diary. It was her telling him anything important that happened in her life. The weird part was that he didn't mind at all. It made him feel closer to her, not distanced from her, like before.

Knowing this, he eagerly reached for the next letter.

----

October 14, 2003

Dear Jess,

I'm really not sure if I should become all confessional and all, but I'm also not really sure if I can help it.

This weekend is becoming worse and worse. I came home to find out that this weekend was Dean's wedding! I found out the hard way though. I had come home for a peaceful few days and instead, ended up in the middle of wedding preparations! This is so unfair. I don't like him anymore, but I wish I had warning. Then, he ended up inviting Mom and me! I couldn't believe it! Then your uncle came up to me and stuttered for awhile, and then told me not to go. I'm confused.

I just realized something. I am using you as a diary. I'm sorry. If you don't mind, I might do short letters every week with little updates and whatnot. Just a warning. You don't have to read this. If I ever send these to you.

Missing you,

Love,
Rory

----

Jess didn't mind. He liked hearing random things about her week. He didn't like the part about Dean. It made him madder at Dean then he already was. The part about Luke confused him though. He made a mental note to ask his uncle about that later. He was happy that most of these letters would be updates. He ignored her warning and continued to read.

----

October 21, 2003

Dear Jess,

As promised, here is next week's letter. Not too much has happened during the past few days, so this one might be a little short.

I did go on my first date since you, but it was bad. I'm talking really bad. He sat at the same side of the table as me! Who does that?

Thinking about that makes me miss you more. I wish I wasn't dating anyone else but you. Oh well, maybe I'll talk to you sometime.

Oh, Mom invited Luke to a Movie Night. He fell asleep during Hardbodies! Unheard of. I was a little shocked when I saw Luke at our house at, like, ten at night, but I don't know. It was like he belonged there. I think Mom might be realizing that he is in love with her. I hope so. They have been dancing around each other for years. Just thought you might be interested in that.

Love,

Rory

----

Jess smiled at the bit about Luke and Lorelai's movie night, but was instantly sad once he noticed that the 'Missing you' part of Rory's closing was gone. He figured that it just took up space, and that it was implied, so he overlooked it. The sentences about her date made his heart ache. It took awhile for her to finally go on one, so maybe he wasn't completely forgettable. He reached for the next page.

----

October 28, 2003

Dear Jess,

Slow week, but a few funny things happened.

Now, don't laugh at me, but I found a study tree. It fits my back completely and is perfect. I actually had to pay off a guy to leave (Not trying to make this a pun, but it works), so I could work there.

Oh, you can laugh at this. Kirk asked someone named Lulu on a date and she accepted! He made Luke decorate a table with champagne and flowers in the diner for them. He was even rehearsing for it! With a camcorder! I couldn't stop laughing when Mom described it.

That's pretty much it. I miss you.

Love,
Rory

----

Jess tried to follow Rory's instructions as best as he could, but couldn't help laughing throughout the whole thing. "A study tree? What will she think up next?" Jess asked himself laughingly. The image of Kirk on a date was too hard to even imagine, so he didn't even try.

----

November 4, 2003

Dear Jess,

Another semi-dull week. A few blurbs:

Well, Nicole and Luke got back together I believe. At least, that's what my mother told me, rather angrily, I might add. She finally might notice the fact that he is basically just dating to make her jealous.

We had a new festival. Don't groan. It was actually pretty cool. It was called the Festival of Living Art. It consisted of life size paintings and statues with real people as the people in the art. I played Antea, in Portrait of a Young Girl Named Antea. Kirk was Christ in the Last Supper.

Sookie's baby is still a no-show. I was actually woken up at two in the morning by Sookie shaking me, yelling "What motivated you to come out of your mother?" at the top of her lungs. I do not understand her.

Missing you,

Love,
Rory

----

Jess was shocked at how well she knew him. When he read that they had a new festival, he did groan. Then, reading the next sentence, he immediately quieted. He found himself wishing he had seen Rory in that painting. He was laughing by the end of the letter, loving the visual of Rory being shaken by a very pregnant Sookie. He wasn't sure which visual was better though. That one or Kirk as Jesus. He smiled, seeing the 'Missing you' at the end of the letter. Just seeing those two words made him feel ten times better.

----

November 11, 2003

Dear Jess,

My life has turned into a sitcom. I was harassed by an angry ballerina! I had to do a review of a ballet for my picky editor, and I didn't give it a good one. Apparently, the ballerina, Sandra, didn't like it. She wrote 'Die Jerk' on my door! I couldn't believe it.

That's pretty much it. Dull week. Well, aside from the death threat.

I have a feeling that if you were here, there would never be a dull week. Ah, well, I can only dream.

Missing you,

Love,

Rory

----

Jess started out laughing, and then ended up feeling guilty. He couldn't believe how haywire his emotions were getting. He was just reading old letters. Maybe it was who they were from. Maybe it was how long she had waited to send them. Maybe it was her choice of words. He wasn't too sure.

----

November 18, 2003

Dear Jess,

I have something to tell you that may shock you.

I went to the Harvard/Yale football game. I know, amazing huh? That's practically the only sporting event I've ever been to. Well, except for the hockey game I went to with Lane. Wasn't that when you surprised me with Distiller tickets? I miss that. Correction. I miss you.

I think I've said that every letter. Does that make me redundant or just emotional? It's hard to believe that six months have passed since you left. Not that I'm keeping track or anything.

Well, my mom has gone on a date. With my grandfather's business partner! I couldn't believe it. He has sent her flowers, candy, and gifts. Their date included drinking booze from paper cups outside of a supermarket. I haven't got all the details yet.

Well, other than that, I've just been working a lot. Homework takes up a lot of my time.

Love,

Rory

----

Jess smiled sadly. Had it really been six months then? He checked the date of the first letter. "It was," he said softly. And she was still missing him. Jess found himself curious for Luke's reaction to Lorelai's new boyfriend. He found himself remembering the night when he showed up at the hockey game with tickets for him and Rory. He found himself missing Rory like crazy.

----

January 20, 2004

Dear Jess,


Sorry I haven't written in awhile. Happy 2004! Not much has happened, so I haven't felt the need to write. It was only two months. Wow, it seems longer on paper.

Luke has hired help. I know, shocking huh? Guess who it is! Darn. It's hard to play the guess who game in letters. So, I'll just tell you who it is. It's Lane. And Luke is stressed. Last time I went there, he was going on and on about how she would get bored and how she cleaned the menus without being asked during a lull. Having help is stressing him.

Apparently, Mom isn't the only one with a new 'boyfriend'. Paris has found a new guy. A professor! HE'S SIXTY! Oh, did I mention that she is still dating Jamie? I can't understand her.

Missing you,

Love,
Rory

----

When Jess first saw the date, he did a double take. He couldn't believe that Rory, Queen of Routine, hadn't written for eight weeks. He did another double take on the part about Paris. She had always seemed sheltered. It didn't really make sense to him either. The information about Luke made him crack up. He could imagine Luke ranting about Lane. He couldn't wait to hear more.

----

January 27, 2004

Dear Jess,

Stan died. That probably doesn't mean anything to you. You probably didn't even know Stan. They fixed the church bells in his honor. They were beautiful. At first. Then they became more and more annoying to anyone in a twenty mile radius of the bells. Thankfully, I am 22.8 miles away. I know that because someone looked it up. Do you Yahoo?

Luke got into a major fight with Mom. I didn't get all of the details, but I think he moved in with Nicole without telling Mom. It made Mom question their friendship. I think there was also a snow shovel, a tool box and Mega Man Protein Powder involved. I didn't catch everything. My mother was talking very fast. The fight ended when Mom asked him if he wanted to help her break the bells. So, the bells are gone and all is right in Whooville.

Lane and her band got a gig at CBGB's. She was psyched. Until she found out that they were supposed to play at one in the morning on a Tuesday. She ended up sneaking out of her house without telling Mama Kim, and getting kicked out of her house. She is living with me in the dorm now.

I'm not sure if I should tell you this or not, but there was this guy I met in the laundry room and I asked him if he wanted to have some coffee. A little while after, I heard a friend say that she had heard a story from him about a girl who was stalking him. I obviously thought that he was talking about me, so we had a big argument in the dining hall. I ended up finding out that he was talking about another girl.

I am an idiot.

Missing you,

Love,

Rory

----

Jess was surprised by the length of this letter and had to reread it to understand the whole thing. He wasn't surprised by the reaction of the townspeople to the bells, or by the reaction of Lorelai to Luke and Nicole. He was confused by the news about Lane though. Her mother kicked her out? Wow. He was missing a lot. Reading the story about Rory and that guy made him angry. Suddenly Jess glanced down at the letter. In Rory's neat cursive, he saw the words 'Do you Yahoo?' He smiled, rereading the paragraph again. She still remembered that too?

----

February 3, 2004

Dear Jess,

Nothing much is happening this week. For some reason I keep thinking about you.

Well, Paris has chosen Professor Flemming over Jamie. She dumped him over the phone. And on his birthday no less! How can someone be so heartless?

At our Friday night dinner, Grandma said that Mom and Jason (Grandpa's business partner) would be a match made in heaven. She didn't know how right she was.

Maybe I'll be able to see you sometime. Spring Break is coming up, and so is Summer Vacation.

Missing you,

Love,

Rory

----

­Jess felt a wave of guilt come over him when he read the 'How can someone be so heartless?' comment. He remembered seeing her on the bus and not saying anything about leaving. He also felt guilt when he saw the 'Maybe I'll be able to see you sometime' stuff. He remembered where he had been the next few days.

----

February 10, 2004

Dear Dodger,

So, you were in Stars Hollow. Why? I saw you in your car. Did you come back to get it? Who had it?

Oh, no. Did Luke have it? I bet that's what it was.


Why did you avoid me? Every time I saw you, you ran. You didn't even give me a chance to talk. I ran from you to try to give you a taste of your own medicine. Apparently it didn't work.

Did you mean what you said? You still love me? I'm so confused. Why would you say that and just walk away afterwards? Again, you didn't give me a chance to talk. I could've told you the same. But you know what, fine. I am still going to write to you, but I might not send any of these letters. Except the first one.

Still missing you (even though I just saw you),

Love,

Rory

----

"Dodger," Jess said, remembering. He smiled, once the memory of Rory calling him that became vivid in his mind. The smile faded the second he read the rest of the letter. He had to stop reading every now and then, to remember what all had happened that day. He got upset, just thinking about how much that must have hurt her. Suddenly, the smile came through again when he saw the words 'Still missing you'. It made him realize how stupid he had been to not wait for a response. He eagerly flipped to the next page to read what happened after he had left.

----

February 17, 2004

Dear Jess,

I am such a mess right now. I'm not sure if I can handle the workload at Yale anymore. A professor told me to drop a class. I shouldn't have to do that. Lane was forced out of the dorm by my suitemates and I miss her like crazy. Having her there brought Stars Hollow to me. It isn't the same with her gone.

I ended up crying on Dean's shoulder and telling him all of this. I was looking for Mom at the Inn, and found Dean instead. He made me tell him what was wrong, and I just ended up bawling. It seems like I haven't talked to my mom in forever. We keep missing each other's calls.

I heard from someone though, that Mom had a similar breakdown. She is having financial trouble with the Inn and ended up crying on someone's shoulder too. Luke's, actually. He is always there for her, yet he is married to Nicole. I know I said this many times before, but get a clue people!

Missing you,

Love,

Rory

----

Jess felt horrible. He wished that he was the one able to comfort Rory. He could easily imagine Luke sitting with Lorelai, reassuring her that she wasn't going to fail. He smiled sadly when the image changed and he saw Dean and Rory in that same scenario. He knew he had blown it by not waiting for Rory. He had a feeling something bad would happen during the next one or two letters. Jess sighed and turned the page.

---

February 24, 2004

Dear Jess,

Mom and I both recovered from our 'freak outs' and decided that we should go to the mall for serious retail therapy. We were just going to window shop, because we are both totally broke, but quickly discovered that it was not as fun as it sounds. Then came the odd part.

We ran into the one and only Emily Gilmore.

At the mall. Right, 'cause that's right where I would expect to see my ritzy grandmother. We ended up shopping with her and buying things we didn't want or need. I think we'll return it all.

That's pretty much it. I miss you.

Love,
Rory

----

Jess smiled at the image of Emily in the mall, and was curious to find out if something goes wrong with the next letter. He had an uneasy feeling and he wanted to find out why.

----

March 2, 2004

Dear Jess,

This is going to be a pretty short letter. I'm still in shock a little from what happened. My great-grandmother died. Earlier this week. I wrote the obituary. I hope I did her justice. She was an amazing woman. Grandpa and Grandma were both upset, but for different reasons. Grandpa was sad, because, well, his mother had just died. Grandma was sad because she found an old letter from Grams telling – no, begging— Grandpa not to marry her. I still can't believe it.

Missing you,

Love,

Rory

----

Jess sighed. He knew something bad was going to happen. He shook his head. He couldn't believe the letter either. "Poor Rory," he murmured.

----

April 13, 2004

Dear Jess,

Again, sorry I haven't written in awhile. Everything has been relatively quiet. You won't believe what I did though. I, Rory Gilmore, went to Florida over Spring Break. It was very eventful. Paris tipped everyone in sight, even people who didn't work there, to get what she wanted. We kissed (NOT MY IDEA!), and I actually got drunk. It was amusing to see the beach spin though. I also saw a guy that reminded me so much of you that it was scary. I tried to talk to him, but he didn't like me until he saw Paris kiss me in that club. Sick freaks. It made me miss you even more. Not the 'Sick freaks' part, the seeing the guy part. The only other interesting thing that happened on break was that we saw Louise and Madeline in Florida. Did you ever meet them? If you did, you'd remember them.

Oh, another interesting tidbit. Luke caught Nicole cheating on him. So I think that that relationship is pretty much shot. He actually ended up kicking the guy's car and was sent to jail. He had to call Mom and ask her to bail him out. I so wish that I had been there.

Love,


Rory

----

Jess wasn't immune to the missing two words at the end of the letter. He looked sadly over the letter and then realized that she had said how she missed him earlier on in the note. The description of Spring Break didn't sound like the Rory he knew. Then again, she had said that he wouldn't believe it. She was too right about him in these letters.

----

April 20, 2004

Dear Jess,

Nothing major has happened to me this week, but two other things happened not concerning me.

One of the things happened to my mom. Remember how I told you that she was dating Grandpa's business partner? Well, they kind of didn't tell anyone about it, and tonight, at a dinner with both of their parents, and me, for a little while, Jason's dad told their secret. Now she is on the outs with my grandparents. I feel for her, but on the other hand, they should've said something.

The other thing happened to the town. Taylor went out of town (got a toupee, wonderful image huh?), and left Kirk, the Taylor wannabe, in charge of the Easter egg hunt. That was a mistake. Kirk didn't make an egg map and so there were fifty-nine Easter eggs rotting in the town square. Luke ended up finding the last twelve and that made Kirk (who had stayed up the past two or three days trying to find the eggs) stand in the middle of the square and shout, "I love you, Luke Danes! Love, love, love!" My mom made Luke tell her what happened, so that's how I know all that. Poor Luke. He has enough trouble with Kirk as it is!

Missing you,

Love,

Rory

----

Jess did a double take when he glanced down at the letter. The first thing he saw was the words 'I love you, Luke Danes'. Then, reading through the whole paragraph, he couldn't stop laughing. He pictured a sleep deprived Kirk, 'proclaiming' his 'love' for Luke. "That town is so messed up," he laughed to himself. He realized that he had two great images in his head fighting for first place. The Kirk/Luke one or, he discovered, rereading the letter, Taylor with a toupee.

----

April 27, 2004

Dear Jess,

Well my mom broke up with Jason. He ended up suing Grandpa. Mom said that she couldn't be with someone who was suing her family. I totally agree. I never really liked Jason anyway. I mean, his nickname was Digger! How can you date a guy nicknamed Digger? Dodger is a much better nickname.

Luke got a divorce from Nicole. Mom told me that he was getting it through the mail. The idea seemed foreign to her. Me too, I guess.

School is okay, but people are questioning who Professor Flemming's new girlfriend is. Apparently, I am the only one who knows that the new girl is Paris.

Should be an interesting week.

Missing you,

Love,
Rory

----

Jess couldn't believe what he was seeing. Boyfriends suing your families? Mail order divorces? What is going on here? Then he stopped. He saw the word 'Dodger'. He read that first paragraph over. He smiled, not believing that he had missed that the first time. He felt that he was experiencing these past few years along with her, not just reading about them.

----

May 4, 2004

Dear Jess,

I heard your mom is getting married! That's exciting. I assume you aren't going though. You wouldn't be caught dead at a Renaissance wedding.

Did you hear that your uncle asked my mom to the wedding? Go Luke! Maybe something will finally happen.

Mom said that last night, she slept in Jackson's zucchini patch. I don't even know where to begin with that. It's just so off the wall.

Missing you,

Love,

Rory

----

Jess grinned at the assumption of how he wouldn't go to his mother's wedding. She didn't know how close she had come. She got the reason wrong. She was the reason he wasn't going to go. He was afraid to see Rory after the episode with his car.

----

May 11, 2004

Dear Dodger,

So, I hear that I was wrong that you weren't going. Mom said that she and Luke sat behind you. I also heard that the minister sang a hilarious song to start the ceremony. Mom tried to sing it to me, but couldn't even go through it without laughing. Was it that funny? She said that even you were laughing. I wish I had seen that!

If you noticed, the 'Dodger' is back. I think that I will put that on here every time I see you. I have to say something though.

I'm sorry, but I just have to say something. What's wrong with you? You are really having trouble with expressing your feelings, aren't you? You are so bad at this. If you had asked me to come with you for coffee, I would have said yes. But asking me to come to New York with you? I repeat, what's wrong with you? I might have to take a break from writing to you. I'm not sure. I still might want to put thoughts down. If I change my mind, you will get the usual letter next week.

I can't really write anymore.

Love,

Rory

----

Jess winced at the memory of his plea for her to come away with him. He also thought about how he wouldn't see 'Dodger' at the beginning of the letters any more under these circumstances. He hadn't seen her after this. Sadness came over him thinking about how he might not be getting letters anymore, before remembering that there was another half a stack of them in his hands. He sort of knew what the next letter would be about. He had heard the story from Luke. Jess sighed. He didn't want to read about this. He tried to ignore the feeling and read on.

----

May 18, 2004

Dear Jess,

I know I said that I wouldn't write anymore, but I can't help it. I feel better telling somebody this.

I did something I probably really shouldn't have done. I slept with Dean. Why did I do this? I don't know what came over me. He's married. What's wrong with me?

Mom saw Dean come out of my room and put two and two together. We are in a major fight right now. I shouldn't be telling you this. You don't want to hear about this. I'm going to try not to say anymore about it.

Love,

Rory

----

Jess knew that this letter would be about that incident. He hated Dean for any part he had taken in the event. He hated Rory for not putting 'Missing you' at the end of the letter. He hated himself for whatever he had done to lose those two words. He had to take a break from reading these things. He went to bed, thinking about the letters and what he would read tomorrow.

End Chapter One!

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