Disclaimer: Borrowing the characters, setting and scenery from the owners, any Original Characters that spawn from here are mine, although they probably inspired by other fandoms. Please note, I'm not making a red cent off this belligerent attempt at writing, so don't bother getting the lawyers. Comments and constructive critiques are always welcome and encouraged; flames and troll bait will be accepted and recycled for future use.
Author Notes: I want to take a quick moment to thank Lastofakind for granting his permission/blessing to use his pairing from his story Press Start Otaku and allowing me to apply them to a plot bunny I rescued from the funny farm. Also a huge thanks to the TFF Crew (Whithout Remorse, chronodekar and the rest) for the Quality Control and Nitpicking.
Quick reminders: italic font means whispering, bold font means shouting; don't take this story seriously because... I did it for teh lulz!
Otaku Continue?
Oneshot Inspired by Lastofakind's - Press Start Otaku!
It had been quite a few years since Keitaro had left his parent's home and moved to the Hinata Dorm. He had focused on studying to pass the Toudai entrance exam and his Grandmother had named him manager of the old Family Inn turned Girls Only contract dorm. The residents were mostly good to him, even if some of them had their quirks; but considering who his current and past friends were, he had learned to let things slide as long as it wasn't detrimental to everyone involved.
Due to an earlier accident involving the freshly bathed resident vixen, a loose towel, a startled youngster, a tea kettle and very specific cries of feminine rage; the aforementioned Manager was busy fixing and resetting the front door back on it's railing. While normally it would have been another annoying chore tagged onto his abundant list of daily obligations, he was whistling a happy tune.
Contrary to popular belief, Keitaro was not completely unpopular growing up. Sure he was neither a consummate ladies man, captain of sports team, nor the leader of a social group. Likewise he wasn't voted "Most Likely to Succeed" by his peers, but what few friendships he had garnered, he cherished like no other; and that suited him just fine.
Today however, his good mood couldn't be tarnished, even by the previously mentioned accident and by now well known repercussions. You see, he was expecting a personal guest; and while normally he would be walking on eggshells every time his buddies Masayuki Haitani and Kimiaki Shirai dropped by, today's guest was someone he was sure would be immediately accepted and welcome by his tenants.
As he waxed poetically to himself about the nature of this particular friendship, a very distinct cry of anguish was heard from the stone stairwell leading up to the old Inn "MOU! These stairs are worse than the Comiket Entrance Line!"
Hearing the shout, Keitaro approached the top of the stone stairs "Oh quit whining you slacker!" and admonished his expected visitor with a smile "You and I both know those stairs are at least five times worse!"
"Yeah, but over there we get to enjoy more of my precious!" green eyes, partially hidden by a mop of sweat matted blue hair, looked up to him and returned his smile.
"I missed you too...oomph!" his welcoming phrase was interrupted as he was knocked onto the ground via a perfectly executed flying-glomp-tackle. The assailant in question was a somewhat short, petite young lady with long flowing (if slightly messy) blue hair, wearing what could pass off as a cosplay of one of this season's more popular high school themed anime personalities, while a suitcase almost as tall as her landed beside them with a thunk.
After taking her sweet time to hug and cuddle her friend for a bit, she fisted his shirt and glared her emerald green eyes into his chocolate brown, pouting angrily at him "You ALWAYS say that!", then slowly releasing his shirt, her face slowly changing to a very feline smirk "I'm gonna make you prove it one of these days".
"You've been saying that for years..." he smoothly replied with a boyish smile, disarming the now tired and somewhat rumpled young lady on his lap "long day, Kona-chan?".
"Day, week, month... you know how it gets, Kei-chan" she sighed as she got up, her clothes had some dirt and grass stains, but she didn't seem to mind "by the way, the girls send their regards and Dad keeps asking when you'll ever come visit again, he says that he needs a drinking buddy that can keep up."
"Sorry, between my folks kicking me out and the whole studying to get into Toudai thing..." he began verbalizing his often rehearsed mental tirade, she stood him up and caressed his cheek in a soothing fashion.
"Say no more!" she posed not unlike a certain (fictional) female leader of a high school fun brigade "Teh Kona-chan has arrived!" then jumped, making him catch her in his arms "time for some regularly scheduled fun!" and motioning so as to carry her and her suitcase into the Inn.
Meanwhile, in the livingroom of the old Inn turned Girls Only Contract Dorm, the residents were more concerned with letting go of an issue that had happened earlier. The vixen of the group seemed more pensive than her usual self, advocating for their manager and how he endured with his not-quite-girlfriend's less than tender mercies.
"Naru... you should really give him more than three seconds to explain himself whenever anything like this morning happens" she counselled her best friend. While stirring the pot and causing a ruckus was fun, she knew that sometimes a little peace and quiet was just as well received.
"I... I know, it's just..." fumed the resident firebrand in question, debating her less than ideal relationship with the man of the house. "It's like he puts himself in those situations on purpose sometimes, you know?" While she could start admitting to herself that she enjoyed his presence, most of the time; she couldn't help but get angry any time she believed one of her fellow tenants were inconvenienced by the man in question.
"Oh! Stop that!" Kitsune admonished "You and I both know that if he hadn't caught Shinobu-chan when he did, she may have burned herself with the tea kettle she was carrying" praising the ex-ronin wasn't an easy task, but she hoped her words would mollify her best friend with the show of support.
"I will admit, he has been rather helpful and setting a positive example for the young ones as of late" added the house sword maiden. "Even his moments of lewd behavior have almost completely diminished" she continued to defend the young man that at one time may have become her husband, but ended up helping her find new purpose in life since her confrontation with her sister.
"Alright already..." Naru sighed in defeat, wondering if her not-quite-boyfriend had also wormed into the hearts of her best friends and fellow pervert bashers, just as easily as he had into hers. "I'll apologize to him once he finishes fixing the door".
"A.. anou..." the young lady of said earlier incident and resident homemaker decided to chime in "is... is Sempai going to be okay?"
"He should be Shinomu-chan!" grinned the tanned blonde princess in their midst as she tried to cheer up her best friend "My kicks are just as hard as Naru-naru's punches and he bounces back from those all the time".
"No... that's not it, Kaolla-chan... I mean..." the bluenette pointed out toward the main door, as her friends noticed the lack of ex-ronin and his brand of house improvement "he usually doesn't take this long when fixing a door".
"Don't worry none, Shinobu-chan... he's probably outside taking a break, grabbing some fresh air" answered her silver haired elder "it's not like he'd go out and lecherously abduct some young girl to have his way with!"
"Preposterous!" sniffed Motoko, somehow feeling her recently borne respect of her manager being slighted "As if he would... have the... gall to..." her train of thought being derailed as she noticed the young man in question as he walked into the living room carrying what seemed to a young lady wearing a dirty rumpled school uniform.
'Looks like 'Bad Habits Die Hard' and all that rot' Kitsune thought as she noticed where Motoko's sight was directed 'aaand, there went the last hour's talks down the drain... might as well enjoy the fun while it lasts!' she put her usual teasing foxy grin and started her favorite sport "My my Keitaro, I knew you were particularly sweet on Shinobu-chan... but I didn't think you really WERE of that persuasion!"
"Eh? Sempai is sweet on me?" blushed the young girl in question 'I might still have a chance!'
"URASHIMAAAA!" Motoko raged, the scene before her betraying her previous mood and attempt to help convince others to see him in a positive light "not only are you a perverted molester!" her hand quickly reaching for the sword at her hip "but you're a LOLICON too!"
"Oh! Does this mean that I don't NEED the Red Moon to get him in the mood?" asked Kaolla with a bit of an adult lilt to her not no innocent question.
"Keitaro..." Naru seethed silently as her hands slowly turned into fists, knuckles turning white "you have exactly ten seconds to let the little girl go, and explain yourself."
"Jeeeze!... You really WERE serious when you said she was like Kagami-chan on steroids" whispered the petite young lady in the ex-ronin's arms.
"Uh... Kona-chan..." was as far as the ex-ronin could respond, before being instructed to gingerly put his charge and her sizable suitcase down carefully.
"Don't sweat it Kei-chan" she winked back playfully at her best male friend, followed by dusting off her own clothes "I got this one."
"Suuure..." Keitaro snorted as he remembered a funny memory "like that time you forgot your ID and they almost kicked us out of an Izakaya on the twins' 20th birthday?"
"How was I to know Tsukasa wanted to go out and see what a sake bomb tasted like?" sharing a quiet laugh with her friend. "At least Dad was cool enough to bring my ID and pay the first round."
"Good times... good times" Keitaro smiled placidly, not unlike a happy buddha.
"By the way, Yuki-chan has been asking when you're coming back" Kona-chan asked as she straightened out her clothes "she wants you to draw another portrait of her"
"You and her know my conditions..." he nodded with an impish smile.
"Oh! She's quite willing to sit tight and model for an hour, but this time I WILL make her laugh out loud" the young lady posed with purpose, not unlike the objection of a certain video game lawyer.
The ladies of the Hinata Dorm were flabbergasted at completely comfortable, casual, if possibly overly relaxed attitude going back and forth between the young lady and the smooth talking impostor that looked like their manager.
Seizing the moment of shock on the Hinata Residents, Kona-chan walked up to the residents and presented herself with a slight chesire cat grin. "Please excuse my manners. My name is Konata Izumi, a long time friend of Keitaro, nice to meet you all."
"I... er... We're glad to know that you are acquainted with him," sighed Kitsune in relief, glad her joke was just make believe "for a second there, we almost had a misunderstanding".
"What? You thought he was some pedo stalker that finally got lucky?" Konata asked as she looked toward the previously angry, now slightly ashamed ladies.
"Uh... um... that is..." Naru fidgeted as she tried to explain her previous response.
"Don't worry about it, happens a lot because I'm so small" shrugged the long haired bluenette as if it were a common occurrence. "Kei's not that much older than me... he's three, maybe four months older than me... I think" she questioned herself as she showed them her most up to date Identification Card.
"Eeeeeh?" Shinobu was shocked to believe the young lady that looked barely older than her was, in fact, older than most of her fellow residents.
"Ugh! Don't remind me" Keitaro shook his head ashamed "I still remember that 'I'm happy because I can buy Eroge's NOW!' song and dance routine you did when you turned 18" followed by palming his face, finding he could not forget the particular memory, as much as he tried... mostly because it was so silly.
"It's still one of my Top 5 Birthdays ever!" she grinned back at her good buddy with two thumbs up.
Kaolla looked back and forth between the two good friends and whispered to Shinobu "I like her, she's fun and she's not all weird and formal!"
"Okay, now with that THAT's out of the way" she walked back to Keitaro "Where's your computer? I got this new game I KNOW you're gonna LOVE!" as she proceeded to push him up the stairs.
'Oh... my... God...' thought the resident Vixen, concerned as she noticed the she herself had never been able to manhandle her manager so easily "She's got him wrapped up around her little finger, and she's not even trying!".
"Slow down Kona-chan... We need to put your stuff down in the room I prepared for you first, then we can start catching up proper" said manhandled manager tried to admonish his friend, failing stupendously.
'Wah?... but... he's my...' Naru's thought process could not keep up with nor make heads or tails of the scene before her. "Another girl", older than her, yet not as pretty as her "making MY Keitaro laugh and smile as much as Mutsumi-san does"... he was being a complete gentleman, not spazzing out at all "it just doesn't make sense!"
"It has Waitresses, Maids and Mikos... and they have huge boobs like Yuki-chan's!" she shamelessly waved at the residents as she pushed her buddy down one of the halls "you still have those cool headphones I got you for birthday, right?"
Motoko's eyes opened in shock, as a memory came back to her, then as an epiphany suddenly came to her, unwittingly voicing it out loud "She's courting... and trying to pervert... HIM?"
As the residents tried to make sense of what transpired moments ago, the long haired bluenette reappeared at the top of the stairs, without her buddy, but wearing a kitty grin on her lips "been trying to get it through his thick skull for years now, but he just doesn't pick up my not so subtle hints."
"Hey Shinomuuu!... heeeey!" Kaolla shook a quiet and daydreaming Shinobu "lend me one of your cute dresses... pleeeeease!"
The previously shocked Shinobu looked up at whom she now considered her newest sempai in awe and unwittingly vocalized her thoughts "I knew Sempai was the perfect man!"
"Yeah, my friends think so too!" Konata smiled happily as she walked off to the room she was assigned "Hey Kei-chan! Wanna see me in my newest Cosplay outfit?"