Ummm...hi. Okay, so I know you all probably want me to continue The Magazine, but...somehow, it isn't calling to me yet. I don't have any inspiration for it. I'm still looking for it though...-peeks underneath bed and sneezes at the dustbunnies-
Anyway...I got inspiration for this little oneshot. And I FINALLY get to write a crazy, amusing Kaiba. XD I've wanted to do this for so loong...err. Yes, making fun of fav characters (a.k.a, show them at their most extreme points) is an authoress best friend. Especially when there's puppyshipping.
ANYWAY! Let's get started already. XD
Disclaimer: I do NOT in any way claim ownership of Yu-Gi-Oh or it's characters. Just a dream I have...-sighs wistfully-
Pairings: PUPPYSHIPPING!
Warnings: Um...silly Kaiba? XD And boyxboy love...err...stalkership, on Kaiba's side.
Anyway! Have fun reading this completely random story! I hope it will make sure you don't kill me for my absence!
Hearing.
The problem with Kaiba Seto was his hearing.
Now don't misunderstand. Of course Kaiba was no less than perfect in anything. He had PERFECT hearing, able to detect any little whisper from a long distance(something he picked up from hearing his employees whisper things about what a sadist he was; perfect way to know who deserved to have their pay checks docked).
The problem was, he only heard what he WANTED to hear. Something that a certain Jounouchi Katsuya found out the hard way.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
"Mutt." Kaiba stopped by Jounouchi's desk, looking very, very serious. While the seriousness would have made any of his employees shake with fear of the rage that was sure to impend on them, Jounouchi was nowhere near impressed.
"I'm no mutt, moneybags!" Jounouchi snapped up at him, giving him a fierce glare.
"You were out with someone yesterday." A frown now grew on the handsome CEO's face.
"…huh?"
"Otogi, if I am not mistaken."
"What the- were you spying on me?!"
"No, I was merely checking up on what is mine."
"EH?!"
"I hope you understand that this little…incident can not be repeated?"
"Incident?" Twitch.
"Yes, Jounouchi. Your date with Otogi."
"Date?! We were just going to the arcade with Yuugi and the others!"
"Double or triple dates aren't acceptable either."
"IT WASN'T A DATE OF ANY KIND!"
"Do you understand, mutt?"
"That you're completely insane? Crystal!"
"Good dog." Kaiba patted the fuming and twitching Jounouchi on the head before promptly turning and leaving the classroom.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-
As you can see; Kaiba's hearing was BAD. At least in Jounouchi's honest opinion.
But his hearing wasn't the only problem he had. Oh, no. Not only was he deaf to other people's opinions, he was a damned pervert too!
-_-_-_-_-_-_-
"YUUGI!" Jounouchi ran into the Game Shop, looking completely horrified. His face was pale as a sheet of paper and he was completely out of breath. His eyes were wide and full of a strange kind of fear and hís clothes were distinctly rumbled.
Yuugi looked up from the boardgame he and Atemu were playing, blinking curiously at the blond. "Eh? What's wrong, Jou?"
"You look terrible." Atemu added helpfully.
"You would too if you had been through the same thing as me!" Jounouchi quickly ran in behind the counter, hiding underneath it, banging the back of his head against the hard wood.
Yuugi and Atemu gave each other looks. "...mind to tell us what's going on?" Atemu asked then.
"...it's embarrassing."
"We kind of figured." Yuugi giggled.
"It's not funny! It's SCARY! It's HORRIBLE!" Jounouchi yelled.
"Come on, Jou, it can't be that-"
"KAIBA GROPED ME!"
"..."
"...you're right. That IS awful." Atemu paled.
"THANK YOU!"
"...define grope." Yuugi suddenly said. He knew that his blond friend had a tendency to overreact to things and dramatise them a bit. For example, when Jounouchi had woken all of the gang up on a sleepover, yelling that he had seen a ghost. It turned out to be Bakura, wrapped in a white sheet and heading for the bathroom. Sure, Bakura WAS a ghost in a sense, but still.
"What do you mean 'DEFINE?'" Jounouchi went slightly red.
"Like...where did he grope you? What happened?" Yuugi tilted his head to the side slightly.
"...I'll get nightmares!" Jounouchi whined.
"Just tell us!" Atemu now turned slightly curious as well.
"Fine! I was just walking around innocently and then suddenly, Kaiba drove up next to me in that huge compensator of his-"
"Compensator?" Atemu blinked.
"His limo." Yuugi sweatdropped slightly.
"How is that a compensator?" Atemu now looked completely confused.
Yuugi went red. "Err...well, they say that having a big, flashy car compensates for...something."
"For what?"
"...err...his, uh..."
"Compensates for the fact that he's got a small-AKK!" Jounouchi started, but a well placed kick from Yuugi on his shoulder.
"S-Small social skills!" Yuugi quickly filled in with a nervous grin.
"...oh. Alright." Atemu hummed thoughtfully, still not understanding why his lighter half was blushing so badly about it. Yuugi was just cute like that, he supposed.
"Anyway." Jounouchi cleared his throat and rubbed his shoulder as he talked. "He stopped next to me and got out and then he just..." His cheeks went more red. "...w-well...that is...err..."
"...Jou? What did he do?" Yuugi asked impatiantely.
"...shvdhnddwnmpnts."
"...come again?"
"H-he shoved his hand down my pants, alright?!"
"..."
"..."
"...kh...h-hah...a-aha...hah..." Atemu slapped a hand over his mouth, shaking all over. For a moment, Yuugi thought his partner was going to throw up...until the other just couldn't hold it back...
...and started laughing. Like, not only a belly-laugh. A whole body, amused and crazy cackle for Jounouchi's misfortune, something akin to either Bakura's laugh whenever he sent someone to the Shadow Realm or Kaiba when he beat a certain pinkhaired opponent pathetically in Duel Monsters in a certain Grand Prix Tournament.
"...S-STOP LAUGHING!" Jounouchi blushed horribly and somehow managed to kick Atemu's knee, which shut him up rather nicely, although he was still shaking with held back laughter.
"Uh...maybe he did it by accident?" Yuugi tried carefully.
"HOW THE HELL DO YOU SHOVE YOUR HAND DOWN SOMEONE'S PANTS BY ACCIDENT?!" Jounouchi shrieked.
"Uh...well..." Yuugi frantically tried to find a good answer to that. "...maybe he tripped and tried to steady himself so he wouldn't fall and his hand slipped down your pants?"
"..." Jounouchi stared at him blankly, looking as if the shorter duelist had just grown an extra spike to his hair.
"Yuugi. Even I have to say that is rather impossible." Atemu said slowly. "And I believe that cards have hearts and beings."
Yuugi soon realised how stupid that was. For one thing, Kaiba Seto NEVER tripped. He might lose his balance, but he never showed it in a simple way as tripping. Tsk. He might stumble, recoil, skip a step, falter, fall gracefully or lose his footing, but! He NEVER tripped.
Secondly...well. Who REALLY shoved their hands down someone's pants to regain their balance?
Before Yuugi could admit what a silly statement he had just made, the doors to the Kame Game shop opened with twin bangs.
In the doorway, looking magnificently dramatic with his flaring white coat that in no way defied to the simple laws of gravity, stood Kaiba Seto. Blue eyes staring firmly at the three gaping teenagers, brown hair slowly settling down from his dramatic entry.
"...prolaritat. What did I say about going on dates with other people?" Kaiba frowned deeply at him.
"THIS ISN'T A DATE!" Jounouchi shrieked, flying up from his hiding place without thinking. The blond duelist's were cheeks deeply red. "I came to seek refuge!"
"...from what? Has that lowly gang member come back to threaten you again? Then why did you run away from me? Do you doubt my ability to protect you?"
"I WAS RUNNING FROM YOU, BAKA!"
"...ah. I understand now." Kaiba nodded slightly, blue eyes softening.
"...e-eh?" Jounouchi blinked slightly, pushing his blond hair back in an uncertain gesture. "...you...do?"
"Yes, yes." Kaiba took a few steps closer, shaking his head. "I understand. I feel sorry for you."
Jounouchi was starting to feel relieved. So, Kaiba had understood that what he was doing wasn't normal? That it was psychotic to...well, stalk someone 24/7, take pictures of them changing (Jounouchi had only noticed it once, but was sure it had happened many times before) and then having those pictures on your computer for...private use, and grope them in public? Mutliple times. NOT accidental tripping.
"You are obviously afraid of your feelings for me!" Kaiba's eyes glinted with a certain type of passion that was scarier than the psychotic look a serial killer would have in his eyes while murdering. "The pure strength of the attraction between us must certainly be frightening! But fear not, Jounouchi! I will not let the fires of our passion burn you! Come embrace me, my sweet puppy!" He took a leap forward, obviously intending to "embrace" him.
With a shriek, Jounouchi kicked the brunet in the chin, sending him crashing to the floor a few feet away. "LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU FREAK!" He hollered and bolted from the store.
Atemu and Yuugi watched the twitching heap on the floor, sweatdropping.
There was no understanding those two.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-
After that incident, Jounouchi had honestly thought of commiting seppuku. Should at least try to salvage the last pieces of his pride.
But, he comforted himself with that it couldn't get any worse than that. Even with his bad hearing and pervertedness, Kaiba wouldn't do something completely outrageous, right?
...RIGHT?!
-_-_-_-_-_-_-
"Marry me, Jounouchi." Kaiba looked up (yes, UP) at a shellshocked Jounouchi. He was standing on one knee, holding up an open jewlery box. On a satine, red pillow inside, sat a big diamond and gold ring, of the type you only thought excisted in bad comics.
Honestly, the diamond was bigger than Jounouchi's entire hand.
"...haaah?"
"Marry me." Kaiba repeated, lifting the box a little higher towards Jounouchi's face. As if he couldn't see the diamond properly enough.
"...you're asking me to-"
"Marry me, yes." Kaiba nodded, starting to look impatient. Obviously, having to ask three seperate times wasn't a part of his plan.
"...I don't think so." Jounouchi shook his head, paling as he took a few steps backwards.
"...why?" Kaiba frowned lightly.
"W-Why?! What the hell made you think I would say YES?!"
"...did you just say yes?"
"...what are you-"
"Did you?" Sharp glare.
"...well...yeah..."
"...a verbal confirmation is binding by law." Kaiba promptly shoved the ring onto Jounouchi's fourth finger (to Jounouchi's surprise, it fit perfectly. How the hell did Kaiba find out the exact size of his finger?!). It was heavy as hell, Jounouchi could barely move his hand anymore. Thus, he couldn't punch the brunet in the face. So, he settled for shouting. Loudly.
"W-WHAT?! I WASN'T RESPONDING TO THA-AAK!" Jounouchi's complaint was interrupted by Kaiba grabbing him and throwing him onto his shoulder.
"I wonder, would a white dress look good on you?"
"DRESS?! If I even considered getting married to you, it would be in nothing less than a tuxedo!"
"Right. A while tuxedo it is." Kaiba carried him off towards an awaiting limo.
"...hmph. Damn straight it is."
There was a brief pause.
"...I DIDN'T EVEN AGREE TO THIS YET, BAKAYAROOOO!"
-_-_-_-_-_-
Luckily for Jounouchi, he managed to convince Kaiba to at least not get married right then, saying that they were too young for it. After a few minutes consideration (during which Jounouchi had been coldsweating nervously) Kaiba reluctantly agreed to that fact.
But still managed to keep engaged with Jounouchi.
And strangely enough...Jounouchi hadn't complained about it. And was still wearing that stupid, heavy ring everyday. And allowed Kaiba close enough for a date to be possible.
...and later, even closer to allow...other things.
Even though Kaiba had a very bad sense of hearing, was a pervert and could do random completely crazy things at the worst of times...Jounouchi supposed he could bare it. Even if that sense of bad hearing got him into bad situations, the pervertedness got him into...sticky situations and the crazy things...well, he never got used to those. But at least it kept life exciting.
...after all...having a bad sense of hearing could always be fixed.
The End
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Leave a review after your fangirl squealing is over. =D