This is a 7 part series that recounts my version of the entire Pacey/Joey relationship beginning at the end of Season 6. This starts before the final scene of the series. I always felt like the writers missed something big when they didn't write Joey telling Pacey she picked him so I decided to write it myself. Once I wrote this the rest of their lives came easy. I want to apologize in advance for the way I ended things. Not everyone will love it but it was the only ending I saw for them. (I promise it has nothing to do with Dawson). If you don't enjoy the plot I hope you at least enjoy the writing. The next 6 chapters after this one will be titled: The Yes; The Big Day; The Birthday; The Christmas; The Prom Date; and The End.
The Confession
Joey rapped on the front door of the Ice House. The door was locked but she could see a light on in the back office.
"We're closed! Hold your horses. Jesus." Joey could see him approaching the front door with a baseball bat in his hand. She vaguely thought it must have something to do with his black eye. The moment the door opened she became too distracted to care about what Pacey may or may not be carrying.
"Pacey"
"Joey… what are you doing here?"
"Well, I was packing up my things. I go back to New York tomorrow morning. And I was getting ready and I got scared, Pace."
"What happened, Jo? What do you mean you got scared?" Pacey moved aside and ushered Joey through the door of the restaurant. As she walked, she started talking. Fast.
"I've been scared since I was 16. In one way or another I've always been scared. But this is different. I haven't been scared like this since I stood on that dock with Dawson thinking you were going to leave for the summer."
Pacey had sat through more than one of the famous Joey Potter monologues. He closed his mouth and listed intently. He knew that everything she said, although typically vailed and rarely straight to the point, had significance. At least it always did to him.
"For the past seven years I've been scared because I loved you so much but you hurt me so bad. & Pace, I'd never been hurt like that before and I haven't been since. So I've spent all these years scared that if I said what I meant or did what I wanted that I was going to get hurt again. I've spent these past seven years running away, trying to protect myself. But tonight I stopped being afraid of you hurting me. The thought of going back to New York and knowing you'd let me off the hook. Knowing that you were moving on, I got scared for a different reason. I got scared thinking that I'd lose you. & it felt just like that day before Dawson told me to go after you. I was so scared that day that I'd lose you forever because you didn't know how I felt. & I know this time you aren't sailing away for the summer and I can't just come get on your boat and ride off with you. I know we aren't 16 anymore but I can't just get on that train back to New York and pretend like everything's okay, either."
"Jo, slow down. What are you trying to say?" Pacey took a step toward Joey. He thought he knew what was coming but he hadn't dared to hope so much in a very long time. The feeling was foreign to him.
"I love you, Pace. I've loved you since we were 16 and I never stopped."
Pacey closed the gap between himself and Joey with one step. He swept her into his arms and kissed her. All of the wanting of the past seven years welled up inside him. He tried to say every unspoken thing in that kiss. When they finally tore apart Pacey didn't dare let her go. He held onto her tightly and looked into her eyes, "Jo, are you saying… are you choosing… it's me?"
Joey's shy smile found its way onto her face. "Yeah Pace. It's always been you."
Joey expected to see her smile returned. Instead Pacey grimaced. "What about Dawson?"
"I still love him. I will always love him. He is my soulmate. & in some way it will always be me and him, in his bedroom watching ET, perpetually 15 years old. But we aren't 15 anymore. He gets it, Pacey. He comprehends the magnitude of all of this and he's not angry."
"So he already knows?" Pacey said skeptically.
"Not in as many words. But yes, I think he knows." Pacey read the honest look on Joey's face and immediately felt reassured. Dawson was a problem for another day.
Pacey leaned in again and kissed Joey. Slower this time than before. The kiss they shared moments before felt urgent and needy. This kiss felt deeper and full of love. He tasted her breath on his lips and felt her tongue in his mouth. He'd missed everything about the woman in his arms. He picked her up and carried her into the office. He shut door behind them and swept the contents of the desk onto the floor. This moment was long overdue and he didn't want to miss a second of it. Being with Joey felt like home.
Joey laid next to Pacey on the office desk, her legs bent at the knee while his hung over the edge. She was wrapped in his Hawaiian shirt. They stared together out of the sky light into the stars above them.
"Hey Joey?"
"Yeah, Pace?"
"Before Jen passed she said something that, at the time, I thought I knew what she meant, but I'm thinking now I was maybe not so right about…" Joey turned her head to face Pacey.
"What did she say?"
"She told me that you'd said you've always known who it was. She said she asked you to make a choice and end this glorious love triangle we've been playing out over the past decade and when she asked you, you said you'd always known who it was. I thought at the time that, of course, you were talking about Dawson, the Soulmate, the best friend. But… Joey… were you talking about me?" Pacey hadn't been able to look at Joey while he spoke. He wasn't sure what he would see lurking in her expression and he wasn't sure he wanted to. When he finished talking he turned toward Joey and was surprised to see her arms reaching to wrap around him and a slight upturn at the corner of her lips. Her soft smile melted his insides. He reacted to her touch without conscious thought. His arms embraced her.
"Yeah Pace, I was talking about you." Joey wasn't looking at Pacey's face anymore but she could feel his expression of disbelief.
"You've always known?"
In an exasperated tone Joey sighed, "I danced with you at Dawson's prom. I kissed you at his aunt's house when he was right inside. I watched him hurt for whole year when we were together. I chose you to be my first. I sailed away with you, didn't I?"
"And you chose him freshmen year. You chose Eddie after I told you I still loved you in that Kmart," Pacey retorted.
"Oh and how is a girl ever to turn down a department store declaration of love over nacho cheese and flannel jammies." The sarcasm dripped from Joey's statement but softened as she said, "I already told you, Pacey. I was scared."
"You know I'll never hurt you, don't you? I was such a stupid kid but I'm glad things turned out the way they did for you. I still think I did the right thing because all of your dreams might not have come true if you'd stayed with me."
"Pacey, all of my dreams came true two hours ago when I walked through the front door of this restaurant and you wrapped your arms around me again. This is the only dream that matters."
"Jo, I love you."
"I love you, too, Pace."
Pacey stood and took Joey's hand to help her off of the desk. "What do you say we get dressed and head back to my place to get some rest?"
"Oh, you mean I don't get to stay here and sleep on office furniture all night? Now you're really letting me down, Pacey." Joey began dressing as she spoke. She was surprised at how easy it was to slide right back into their familiar banter.
"If you think this is bad just wait to see what my place looks like. I've been living alone in that apartment for years. I'm not sure that it's ever been cleaned. You've got a real treat in store for you."
The beeping of an unfamiliar alarm filled Joey's dreams and pulled her into wakefulness. She felt a familiar weight around her waist and a grin spread across her face as she took in the scent of the room around her. It smelled like her and Pacey. The two of them together. It had been so long since she'd smelled that. She was surprised to find that it still felt so familiar to her.
Joey's eyes opened slowly and took in the room around her. There were dirty clothes strewn across the floor. But they weren't from weeks or months of neglected laundry as she'd expected. The only things on the floor at all were the clothes she and Pacey had shed the night before. In fact, underneath the familiar scent in the room was something else, the faint smell of cleaning products.
She crept out of bed, careful not to wake Pacey as she moved. Despite all of Pacey's talk last night, the apartment was much cleaner than she'd expected. It was well decorated and clearly cared for. She suspected Doug had something to do with the furniture and matching drapes. But there were undeniable touches of Pacey in the apartment as well. A photograph, clearly taken by Dawson, of Jen, Jack, Andie, Dawson, and herself sat framed above the fire place. There were model sail boats dispersed through the apartment as if someone had placed them there with no thought to their decorative value but instead cared about the boats themselves. In the middle of the kitchen table sat a tribal statue. Joey expected this came back with him from his trip to the Caribbean.
Joey turned to see the clock above the stove and panic set in. It took a moment to realize why she felt this sense of urgency. She hurried back into the bedroom. "Hey, hey, Pacey, wake up," she said shaking him slightly.
"What?" The gravel in his voice stirred something inside Joey. How could just the sound of his voice make her giddy? None of this seemed real.
"I've got a train to catch in an hour. I still have to finish packing and get to the station." She could hear the urgency in her own voice and worked to calm herself down.
"Can't you catch a later train or just go home tomorrow? Or better yet…" the smile that spread across Pacey's face felt like an old friend. He hadn't smiled this way in far too long, "just don't go home at all. Stay here. We'll sun bathe and cuddle. I'll make eggs benedict for breakfast and we'll go out on the boat this afternoon." Pacey's sentence trailed off as Joey was already getting out of bed and slipping her jeans back on.
"Pace, I can't. I have work tomorrow and there is only one train back to New York today. I have to go home." Pacey followed suit and started dressing himself.
"Well, I'll take you to B&B and then drive you to the train station." Pacey seemed deflated as they got into his car. They drove to the B&B in silence. Neither one sure what to say next.
Joey packed quickly and hugged Bessie goodbye. She made promises to Alexander to be back soon and kissed Boatie on the cheek as she departed.
After a few minutes of driving, Joey finally broke the silence. "Pace, what's wrong?"
"I just can't help but have this feeling that last night was the grand ball with the fluffy white dress and glass slipper and this morning the horse and cart have turned back into a pumpkin."
"First of all, I'm pretty sure the horse was a mouse. Second of all, there is no glass slipper here. No fairy tale. Everything about last night and right now is real life. I'm here, Pacey and so are you. We're going to figure this out."
"How, Joey? You live in New York with a great job and a boyfriend. I'm here. I own my own business now. How are we going to make this work?" Pacey could hear the pleading tone in his own voice. He hated to sound that way but he couldn't help it. He wanted a solution.
"I don't have a boyfriend anymore."
"What happened to New York guy?" Pacey's tone perked up a bit. Joey couldn't help but mentally compare him to a puppy who'd just heard a car pull into the drive.
"His name is Christopher."
"What happened to Christopher?" Pacey said impatiently.
"I broke up with him. Told him I wasn't over my ex." Joey said, careful to keep all emotion out of her voice. She loved to tease him. She'd missed it.
"Me?" Pacey grinned.
"Yeah, you dufus. & listen to me. We will figure this out. If I have to quit my job I will. I can't lose you again, Pace." Joey's transition into seriousness was easy for her. She and Pacey had always been able to laugh and cry in the same moment together. Every one of her emotions belonged to him without question.
"No, you're not going to quit your job, Joey that's ridiculous."
"So what do you suggest?" Joey's retort wasn't malicious. She genuinely wanted to know what Pacey thought of their current situation.
They sat in silence for several long minutes. Pacey parked the car and opened his door. He removed Joey's bags from the back seat and met her at the front of the car. "I'm going to sell the Ice House and move to New York."
"Speaking of ridiculous plans…"
"No, Jo, I'm serious. When I opened that place it was all because of you. I wanted to own my own restaurant, sure. But I picked the Ice House because it had a little bit of you still there. But now that I have the real thing, I don't need the proxy. Besides, owning a restaurant hasn't been everything I thought it would be. I just want to cook again. This is it, this is the right thing to do."
"Are you serious right now? You really want to sell your business?" Joey began to hope.
"Yeah, I didn't know it until just now but this is what I want. I want you. I want us." Pacey swept Joey into another kiss. This time a kiss full of hope and the future.