Disclaimer: All Shonda's. She has ripped out my heart.
Warning: SPOILERS for 9x01.
A/N: Thanks to the folks in the callie_arizona comm chat room last night after the East Coast viewing. Especially those that hung out until after the West Coast aired. You are awesome.
X-X-X-X
Callie rocked her sobbing daughter gently. It was two in the morning, and Sofia had woken up screaming an hour beforehand. Just three and a half months ago, this had been her wife's job – soothing their daughter back to sleep, sometimes even on the nights she'd spent across the hall. She quashed that thought. Mark was… gone, and she was dealing. Mostly. But Arizona was here, and she needed her wife. Sofia needed her mama. For this specific parenting job, Callie was a poor substitute. She had no idea what it was about Arizona that settled Sofia back to sleep so quickly. But right now, she couldn't deal. She couldn't be a single mother when her spouse was still breathing, still had arms and a voice and, somewhere under the anger, depression, and pain, love to give.
She'd been secretly reading books on depression, life after an amputation, and digging out her textbooks from her psych courses. They weren't helping. Instead, she was exhausted, stressed, in mourning, and had a screaming toddler in her arms. A screaming toddler who still hadn't been held by her mama since a plane fell out of the sky. A screaming toddler going through night terrors ever since her daddy disappeared and her mama came home but didn't cuddle her.
Callie walked around her living room, murmuring to Sofia. Through the open doorway to the bedroom she could see Arizona curled up on the bed. She hadn't shared that bed with her wife in far too long. She wasn't sleeping well out on the couch, but Arizona was all anger and depression and refused to let her into their bed.
Huffing, she could tell that Sofia's screams had woken her wife, and Arizona's breathing wasn't regular enough that she'd fallen back asleep. Striding into the bedroom, she shifted Sofia so her daughter was secure in one arm. Pulling Arizona around with her free hand, she forced her wife to look at her, pushing her flat onto her back and holding her down. They stared at each other for a long moment before Callie gently set a crying Sofia onto Arizona's chest. "Your daughter needs you," she said simply before walking out the door, and shutting it gently behind her. Leaning back against the door, she could hear two sets of sobbing.
The next night Arizona kept her eyes closed, but was on her back when Callie stepped into the room and set Sofia on her chest.
A week later, Arizona was not only on her back, but her eyes were open, meeting Callie's briefly as Sofia cuddled immediately into her mama's chest, starting to quiet within minutes.
A few days later, she physically reached for Sofia as Callie arrived at the bedside.
Some nights Callie fell asleep on the couch to both her girls sobbing in the next room. Some nights she could hear broken whispers from her wife as their daughter quieted in her mama's arms, but she never could make out the words. At least it was progress. During the day her wife was angry and cold, but at night, Sofia's mama peeked out, and that gave her hope.