Me: Ok well, I've read alot of Goku x Vegeta fics, and ... that's why I wanted to write about this pairing. XD This fic isn't meant to be serious. I just wanted to have fun. I REALLY wanted to wait until I finished watching the whole series before writing a fic, but I got too impatient. (I'm watching the still not finished english dub of DBZ kai, and refuse to simply watch the jap or original DBZ.)

Warnings: Vegeta bashing, other character bashing, randomness, yaoi, swearing, OOCness, sexual stuff, etc.

Disclaimer: Dragonball Z and its characters belong to Akira Toriyama.

It was late at night. Vegeta lie there in his bed, awake, staring at the ceiling. Guess what he was thinking about.

"Kakkarot..." he whispered softly, reaching under his covers and touching himself.

It was true; the Prince was indeed attracted to Goku, though he made sure not to openly show it so he'd never have to deal with rejection (the coward). It was Vegeta's fantasy for Goku to seme him, 'cause he was alot stronger, taller, and bigger than him. Sometimes he acted like he was stupider than Vegeta, but that was just a front! Believe it!

Anyway, Vegeta hadn't masturbated for awhile now, and tonight no one was going to ruin it for him. He was taking off his gloves so he could use his hands better when suddenly, there was a loud bang, the sound of the door hitting the wall at being opened with such force. Vegeta whipped his head around to see her.

"Vegeta!"

It was none other than Bulma the Bitch herself, with her retarded blue hair dye that looked like it came straight out of MS paint.

"Oh my god, Vegeta," she bitched. "In case you haven't figured it out yet, I can hear whenever you when you say his name at night." Vegeta's jaw dropped at this. "And I know what you're obviously doing!"

Vegeta was shocked to say the least. She just came in without any warning! He didn't know who what where why when or how...he didn't know anything. He moved his mouth but no words sounded. He tried thinking up an excuse.

Then it hit him...an idea. Not Bulma's fist. Bulma's fist didn't hit him yet.

"Hmph, what are you on, woman? Crack?" He said, sounding confident. "His name? Whose?" He smirked. "Were you referring to Kakkarot?"

Bulma made the wise decision to just ignore him.

"If you like him so much," Bulmoose suggested,"why not just tell him? I'm pretty damn sick of you, and I'm pretty sure he's had his fill of ChiChi, too."

Vegeta continued to babble on, thinking he could fool Bulma. "I was simply telepathically communicating with him, something we Saiyans, with all our strength, are capable of doing."

"Now that I think about it," she thoughtfully said, putting a finger to her chin while looking up, "I remember Goku telling me he's had his eye on a short midget man. I always thought he was talking about Krillin, though."

Vegeta added, "And we were discussing a place to spar tomorrow, that's all. I just slip sometimes and say his name out loud when I mean to say it in my head." After he said all this, he turned his head to the side and spat on the floor, similar to that time on Namek when he spit after Goku got mad at him for killing the Ginyu Force. Maybe he thought spitting made him look tough. Then he spat, "You humans, always jumping to conclusions!"

Now he had done it. Folding her arms and squinting her eyes, Bulma stared at him with the I-see-what-you-did-there look. The all-knowing look. The look that meant you were caught. She srutinized him over with the look once, then once again to make Vegeta realize just how stupid he sounded right now. This caused Vegeta to start panicking.

She unfolded her arms and was about to go back to bed-

She doesn't believe me!

He quickly got out of his bed without even pulling his trousers back up. Bulma stared on unimpressed.

In a last ditch effort, Vegeta had resorted to performing a pathetic dance. He waved his muscular arms around frantically and spinned around and around. One could even call it spazzing instead of dancing. It was quite a display for anyone who had always thought Vegeta to be in control and cool.

"Hah! Hah!" the Saiyan Prince exhaled. "You see! Well, woman? What now! Still don't believe me?" When Bulma didn't seem to respond much to this distraction, Vegeta knew exactly what he had to do. He quickened the pace of his dancing ten-fold.

"AAAAHHHHH!" yelled the out of control Vegetable as he reached his limit. Bulma had had enough. She took the opportunity to give him a fucking punch to the face. Immediately, Vegeta collapsed, knocked unconscious, and Bulma could finally rest with peace and quiet again. She planned to tell Goku about Vegeta in the morning.