Breathlessness.
I don't want to live if you're not here. I want to tell you, I want you to see, but im suppressed by childish fears. I wish you'd leave me to my sorrow but your presence lingers and it hurts. More than anything I've known. It surrounds me. I can't get it to go away. It reopens the wounds you made when you left. It's all too real. My life is a living, torturous nightmare. Even if you came back, I'd still be wounded. I've wiped your tears, I've silenced your irrational fears, I've kept you close and you're gone...taking my heart with you. You captivate me with the light you left behind me. This same light binds me to you, making the pain last. I see you in my dreams; your voice chased away all the sanity in me. These wounds won't heal, the pains getting worse and time isn't healing me. You're not here to wipe my tears, to silence my irrational fears, to hold my hand and tell me its okay. You're only here to hurt me. I tried so hard to tell myself you're gone. You're still with me. I'm still fucking alone. I always have been. When you cried, I wiped your tears. When you screamed, I fought away all of your fears. I held your hand through all of these years. Time has passed and you still have all of me.