Hi there, random people reading this fic! I know I've been a motivationally deficient (a.k.a. lazy) girl-
Phoebe (one of my OC's): ONE YEAR. ONE WHOLE YEAR. That's how long you've been gone. And now you're back, and this isn't even my fic!
Me: *Laughs nervously* Uh... sorry?
Phoebe: SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT! *Starts chasing this unfortunate authoress*
Me: SOMEONE HELP! THERE'S A FLAMING GIRL TRYING TO MURDER ME!
Various readers, followers and favouriters of me and my fics: Karma's a bitch. You totally had it coming. *Joins in the chase*
Me: TRAITORS! *Dodges sharp pointy objects thrown by enraged readers and OC's* I ain't a guy, and therefore do not own PJO or HO.O! Enjoy, and hope that I'm still alive to post the next chapter! Once again, ENJOY!
Right, look here, I didn't mean to kill the Ophio-whatever and become all-powerful. No idea what the fuck I'm talking about? Nice to meet ya, I'm Atta, my story starts like this.
xXxliiiiiiinebreakxXx
I was just walking home from school, listening to nightcore through my headphones. (A/N I just discovered that genre of music just a short while ago and it is AMAZING. I cannot remember how I survived before I discovered nightcore. Oh, I remember now. Anime, fanfiction, and BOOKS! Still can't believe I survived. XD)
Just thinking about life in general and cussing out the summer heat. I was also looking at the river next to the path and thinking how nice it would be to jump in when- wait, since when was there a river?!
Now that I think about it, it seems more than just a little suspicious. Anyways, at the time I didn't think about it, and I was just walking and thinking when I heard this random "Moo" . Naturally, I walked over to investigate. And when I reached the water, guess what I found?
I FOUND A FUCKING COW-SNAKE THINGY. I stared for a little while longer, and then it gave another soft "moo". I did the obvious thing. I walked up to it and said "Ah hello Bessie, why are yo-No I didn't. I mean, seriously peeps. Put yourself in my metaphorical (...?) shoes.
You're an ordinary mortal and you just see this random COW in the water. What do you do? YOU FREAK OUT. (I think I'm over-using caps. ...Meh.)
So I freaked out. I also grabbed a bronze dagger that had been stuck in my belt. Now that I think of it, WHERE THE FUCK DID THE SHARP POINTY THING AND BELT COME FROM?! I WAS WEARING A SKIRT! (A/N In Australia, we have to wear uniforms, and girls have to wear skirts. It sucks, but I'm used to it.)
...I'll wonder about that later. Right now, I'm telling you how I met (and killed) the Ophio-whachamacallit.
Anywaaaaaayyyyyzzzz, I took the dagger, stabbed the cow, and it died. Then it burst into glittery glitter and sang twinkle twinkle little star in moo's- I'm lying. You probably guessed that much.
Back on track, it did burst into glitter, but it did not sing. (Can cows even sing?) However, not all of it dissolved. Only some yucky slimy bits were left. I was going to walk away and pretend I didn't see, hear or do anything but this stranger walked up from behind me and said,
"'Scuse me, but you can't leave your rubbish there."
I didn't feel like arguing (which was a first) and fished out the remains of the cow from the river and threw them into a rather convenient bin THAT WASN'T THERE A MINUTE AGO and the bin burst into flames. ...I'm not even gonna comment. Oh wait, I just did.
Sorry, getting sidetracked again. When the bin burst into flames, I wasn't exactly the happiest cattle-murderer for a number of reasons.
1) Bins don't just randomly burst into flames (with the exception of this one)
2) It was Summer. In Australia. It was a bloody 40 DEGREES. (Celsius. My phone tells me thats 104 degrees Farenheit.) Fire wasn't exactly helping. And
3) The smell. Oh gods, the smell. Summer+fire+burntcowremains. Do the math.
I was covering my nose, and trying not to retch. Don't ask me what happened to the guy who told me I couldn't leave my rubbish. I have no idea what happened to him. But I hoped he suffocated and died from the smell, because if he hadn't told me to fish the the cow remains out, I wouldn't be in this mess.
But... I am. Can't do anything about that now. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, trying not to technicolour yawn.
I was (barely) keeping myself from barfing, when suddenly the fire disappeared. The smoke was next. And the bin. And I felt this sort of... hum of power passing through me. Yeah, yeah, what a cliche, but what isn't nowadays?
So there was this hum of power, escalating rapidly, filling me with this... feeling.
I really can't describe it. And just when I felt like the power was going to start shooting out of my finger tips like lightning from stormclouds, I... blacked out.
How anticlimactic.
Did you like it? Did you? Did you? Did you? And I'm alive! Me and Phobe made a truce. I'll update Flames within a week of posting this.
Phoebe: They probably didn't like it, you're better off dead, and you had better update my fic or I'll get Frost to freeze you to your chair and force you to type.
Me: *wails* UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! YOU'RE SO MEAN PHOEBE! AND JACK'S TOO NICE!
Phoebe: I took some photos that he really doesn't to get out.
Me: *backs up, with fear in eyes* *whispers* What have I done? What have I done?! I've created a MONSTER! *makes fingers into a cross and brandishes them* STAY AWAY, MONSTER! SPAWN OF SATAN! THE LORD SHALL PROTECT ME FROM THE SINNER!
Phoebe: *rolls eyes* You're an atheist, remember?
Me: So?
Phoebe:*sighs* *mutters* This girl...
Me: Well, that's it for now! Goodbye and Merry Christmas!
Atta: I feel so ignored... *goes and sulks in the emo corner*
P.s. Can anyone here skateboard? I got a skateboard for Christmas but I have almost no idea how to skate! So, this is how I do it: I plant my right food near the tail, and push off on my left. Then I bring my left foot onto the board near the front. Am I doing it wrong? How do I turn? How do I stop? I know there are probably lots of sites teaching you how, but I want to hear it from someone here. So if you can or know someone who skateboards, please tell me! Thanks!