"You're both idiots," Bucky Barnes shook his head, "And you're both going to die."
His gaze shifted from his best friend to his best friend's girlfriend.
Steve and Maria had matching steely gazes and moronic grins on their faces. Steve was standing in a typical Superman pose, fists resting on his hips, and Maria had her arms crossed over her chest, half obscuring the words that identified her as a part of "Tony Stark's 40-somethingth birthday bash".
"I thought you were supposed to be the smart one?" Bucky's question was directed at Maria Hill, Nick Fury's former right hand woman, the current wrangler of Tony Stark and someone Bucky had previously thought capable of taking some of the Steve-managing burden off of his shoulders.
He had been wrong.
Maria Hill was just as annoying as Steve. She was slightly less reckless. But reckless enough that Bucky couldn't count on her to talk Steve out of his stupid plans. She usually talked him into them, and when she wasn't talking him into dumb plans, she was coming up with her own.
Maria grinned at Bucky, "I am. I'm smart enough to know that I'll beat Steve."
Steve scoffed and leaned in ,"I'm not the same sickly kid that threw up on the Cyclone in the 40s. I've got a stomach of steel now."
"You sure do," Maria eyed him appreciatively, laughing, "But you're still going to lose."
Bucky thunked his hand against his forehead, "Which idiot came up with this idea?"
Clint strolled up, churro in hand, "Me. Thought it'd make some amusement for the rest of us."
"I have a grand riding on Hill," Tony chimed in, completely unhelpful. He had a shit-eating grin on his face, and Bucky was really tempted to punch him. After all, it was Tony's fault that they were all at Coney Island, what with him having rented out the park for his birthday and all. The billionaire waved a wad of cash in the air, "I'll add another grand to whoever rides after eating one of those giant ass funnel cakes."
"Please don't," Bruce chimed in, looking wary. "This is not going to end well. Let's not add fried dough to the equation."
Bucky groaned, "I can't believe there's two of him now."
"Forget him," Natasha grinned, appearing behind Bucky and resting a hand on his shoulder. She squeezed it gently and Bucky resisted the urge to roll his eyes. She was up to something. "Get going you two. Park's only ours until midnight."
Steve looked at Maria, broad grin covering his handsome face, and a total disregard for the ulcer forming in Bucky's stomach, "You ready, Lieutenant?"
"As ever, Captain," Maria shot back before laughing and taking off for the entrance to the Cyclone at a light jog. The team rarely saw Maria so light and happy, and Bucky had to admit that she had a nice smile. He would just have preferred it to appear at a time when she and Steve weren't going to scramble their brains.
Steve caught up to her easily, and despite the fact that their friends were watching, he pulled her into a chaste kiss. Maria smiled against his lips and pulled away.
"That's sweet," Maria said, "But you're still going down. Remember I've been on missions to every corner of the world and seen shit you couldn't even imagine. Nothing fazes me."
"I survived Erskine's serum without vomiting, "Steve countered, "Riding the Cyclone more times in a row than you will be easy."
Maria scoffed at his cockiness and darted in front of him to make her way up the ride platform. An idea sparked in her head ash they reached the coaster.
"Since Stark has money on this and probably won't share with the winner," she said slyly, "Why don't we make this interesting for ourselves. "
"What do you have in mind?" Steve asked, crossing his arms over his own garishly red and gold t-shirt, his eyebrow rising warily.
"Loser does the winner's paperwork for two months," Maria smirked, knowing Steve's hatred of the administrative aspects of his job.
True to form, Steve groaned. Once he actually sat down and did it, the paperwork got done, but he'd much rather be parachuting out of planes and punching things than writing up mission reports.
But, never one to step back from a challenge, especially a challenge issued by his girlfriend, Steve Rogers sucked it up, held out his hand, and said "deal" as he and Maria shook on it.
"Get your typing fingers ready, old man," Maria teased, hopping into the front car.
Steve shook his head and climbed in after her. "In your dreams, Hill."
Down on the ground, The Avengers, Pepper, Jane, and Darcy had gathered to watch the Steve Rogers/Maria Hill competition.
"You should've made eating beforehand a condition of the contest. "Darcy said, leaning against the nearest trashcan, her eyes alight with wicked glee, "That would've been better."
"Darcy!" Jane exclaimed, "Riding the Cyclone even three or four times in a row is going to scrambled their brains enough. They don't need to add vomiting to that."
"I tried," Tony pouted. He hiked his thumb at Bruce, "Dr. Party Pooper over here put the kibosh on that one."
Bruce raised his hands in surrender, "I couldn't, in good faith, let them go up there after eating funnel cakes."
Bucky scoffed, "Those two already have scrambled brains. I can't believe I'm even shocked that they both went along with this."
"I do not see what the big deal is," Thor shrugged. "The Bifrost is a longer and harder ride than this wooden contraption."
Everyone let out simultaneous groans as Clint and Tony shouted "that's what she said!" in response to Thor's unintentional innuendo.
"Was that necessary?" Natasha rolled her eyes at her partner, even as she laughed a little.
"Come on, Nat!" Clint grinned, "The man set us up for a beautiful shot."
"It was an easy shot," Pepper teased, as the others explained to Thor what had happened.
After the moment had passed, they looked to the coaster and Jane leaned against Thor's side to explain the physics of a rollercoaster and what the force did to a human brain, never one to pass up a moment to talk about science.
"Yes! They're starting!" Tony shouted, pointing as the ride started to move. Clint discarded his fourth churro of the day and whooped loudly as the carts moved on the wooden tracks.
Natasha smirked as Steve's loud scream of joy could be heard as the carts went down the first drop, "Stop being such a tight-ass, James."
Bucky looked over at her and rolled his eyes, "You love my tight ass."
Shrugging, the redhead didn't deny it, "You know what I mean. Steve's having fun. So is Maria. They deserve it."
The subtle reminder of Steve's relatively recent accident and Maria's freak out over it, rolled around in Bucky's head. He sighed. Nat was right, as usual. He looked up at the ride and caught a glimpse of Steve's face.
The punk looked happier than Bucky had seen him in months.
"I can't watch this," Pepper said, moving to walk away, but when no one followed, she ended up watching, just as captivated as the rest of them.
"How're you feeling, Captain?" Maria asked, swaying a little as the stepped off the ride for the fifth time. Her stomach rolled twice and she clamped her lips tightly.
"Just fine. You?" Steve asked, leaning against the wooden pole, looking supremely unaffected. Damn him.
"I could go all day," Maria said, wincing when she turned away from Steve to head around to the front of the coaster again. She felt like she was going to die.
This was totally a mistake and getting a little bit out of hand.
But of course, they were both so damn competitive neither one was going to quit.
Bucky and Natasha were the only one still watching. After it became apparent that Steve and Maria could keep going for hours, the rest of the group separated to enjoy the park.
Now, Bucky shouted to the couple, "You two idiots done? We'd like to enjoy the park too."
"Pride is on the line, Barnes!" Maria shouted back.
"And paperwork!" Steve added.
"Plus, nothing's stopping you from leaving that spot," Maria pointed out.
"I will do both of your paperwork, if you just quit right now," Bucky groaned. Natasha laughed next to him. Watching Bucky get increasingly frustrated was almost as fun as watching Maria's face turn greener and greener.
Steve and Maria shared a look, a silent conversation happening. Natasha could see the wheels turning in both of their heads, plus Steve was smirking like the little shit she knew he could be. This was not going to turn out well for James. She took a lick of her ice cream cone as Steve and Maria come to a decision.
"Okay!" Steve called from the platform.
"We'll stop," Maria said, "But only if you promise to do the paperwork. "
"For the full two months," Steve grinned.
Bucky's mouth fell open in shock and Natasha laughed out loud.
"I fucking hate you, Barton," Bucky muttered, shaking his head. How did it always come to this? He should've just let the two morons scramble their brains.
"Fine!" he called out reluctantly, "I'll do it."
Steve slung his arm around Maria's shoulder as they walked down the platform. "Pay up, Hill."
Maria slid a twenty into the back pocket of Steve's jeans, "I really thought he would break sooner."
"Nah," Steve kissed the side of her head, "I know Bucky. He waits just long enough, hoping I come to my senses on my own. Then when I don't, he jumps in. It's been that way since we were kids. This time we got free paperwork out of it."
"Idiots," Bucky said, not without some affection as the couple came to a stop in front of him, "Can we do something normal now? Nat and I haven't been on any rides yet."
"Speak for yourself, James," Nat cut in. "Clint, Darcy, and I took a turn on that ride that knocks you against the other people in your cart. It was pretty fun."
Bucky frowned at her, "Aren't you just supposed to agree with me?"
"Yeah," Nat scoffed, giving him an epic eye roll. "In your dreams."
Maria smirked, "Contest to see who can spin a teacup the fastest?"
"Super strength," Steve grinned, "No way you'll win."
They walked off bickering lovingly.
"I hate those two," Bucky muttered to Natasha. But nevertheless, a small smile spread across his face as he followed them. She wrapped her hand around his arm and dragged him after Steve and Maria.
"No you don't. Now come on, let's show them who'll really win at spinning a teacup," she grinned widely, her competitive streak coming out.
Bucky leaned down to kiss her quickly and then shouted after his best friend,
"I have super strength and a metal arm. I've got this one in the bag!"
A/N: Eh, I wrote this like a year ago and forgot I had it. So i basically tried to fix it around, aded some BuckyNat (which I'm newly in love with, Thanks Kavi!) and voila! You get this.
I'm not overly in love with it. But I haven't written MCU stuff in...probably a year, so.
Let me know what you think!