I'm ba-ack! Just a reminder, this is set after A Christmas Carol, but before CoE, because I don't want to deal with the Torchwood angst. Wait till you see the TARDIS's origin…

The Doctor was the first to break the hug. The pulled the TARDIS back, held her face in his hands and looked over her cautiously. "What did he do to you?" He said softly.

"It was a set up." She whispered "The Master- he must- I just don't know. To escape the Time War, he must have opened the timelock, and to do that he must have…" She trailed off. "The Master- he wanted me to join him! He wanted me to help him, to be his TARDIS."

"Does he not realize how cliché that is?" Mickey said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

Martha came back up into the attic to see the re-appeared Gallifreyans, and nearly dropped the tray of tea she was holding. Nearly. "You're back! Well, I guess it's kind of unnecessary that I called-"

A man clad in a black World War II-era coat walked appeared in a blaze of light across the attic, and saluted casually. Captain Jack. "'Sup, Doc. Hear you've got my vortex manipulator from the future."

"What's going on?" The Doctor spun around, taking in the crowd of former companions surrounding him. "How did you-"

The TARDIS laughed lightly. "Called Jack in search of you-" She looked at the captain in question "How'd you get that thing working again, anyways?" she continued. "Found Mickey on a bus, he took me to Martha, we all came here, Luke Clyde and Rani were here came from across the street when they heard."

Jack laughed. "I didn't get it working again, YOU did. I recorded our phone conversation, analyzed your voice code, and BAM! Working time machine. So I decided to come here, meet you, freak the Doctor out with my fixed-pointiness, and kick some ass. It's been really quiet over in Cardiff."

"So." Mickey stepped forward. "Who're we fighting this time?"

"Oh-no-no. There's no 'We' in this. He's my reponcibiliy."

Martha chimed in "Oh no you don't mister, I didn't come all this way for nothing!"

"Doc, the last time you said that, the Master took over. Wait, you don't mean-"

"Yes. Second time this year."

The TARDIS sighed in exhasbiration. "I could kill him myself, chop him to little pieces, get rid of every little bit of his DNA, and I STILL would bet on him coming back sometime next year!"

"Wait, second time this year? The Master's come back since the year that never was? Is this a recurring theme for him. Because, frankly, I may not enjoy immortality but it is MY party trick, not his!"

"Yes, he came back, brought the Timelords with him, tried to destroy the earth, bad day, lots of bad stuff happened. Eventually I had to send him and the Timelords back into hell, and then I died. It was really not my day."

Jack laughed. "I know the feeling."

Soon the teenagers had left, and Sarah Jane and the TARDIS went downstairs leaving Jack and the Doctor alone.

"So Doc, how many times HAVE you died since I saw you last?"

"Just once."

"Every time you die you keep getting younger. Care to share your secret?"

"It's not intentional, trust me."

They sat awkwardly. "So, you're traveling alone now?"

"Yeah. Rose's in the parallel world with two-point-oh, and Donna- yeah."

"You erased her memories. I assumed you'd have to."

"Yeah. I'm not traveling alone, though. Amy and Rory Pond, nice couple. Amy's fantastic- another feisty red head, and Rory- well, he seems to have really bad luck. I mean, he's died twice already."

Jack suddenly gained interest. "Is he like me?"

"No- it's complicated."

-Meanwhile-

"So, TARDIS."

"Yeah, Sarah?"

"I don't mean to be rude, but I listened when the third Doctor rambled on in unit. And, I hate to say it, but TARDIS's can't BECOME anything living. Inanimate objects, sure, but not a Timelady."

"Ha, knew I couldn't get past you."

"Who are you? What are you?"

"If you didn't trust me, you would've said something by now." The TARDIS saw Sarah Jane's arm fade slightly, a trick of the light.

"Like I could stop you. But if you hurt him,-"

The TARDIS cut her off. "I'm on your side, don't worry. I'm also the TARDIS, trust me. But I'm just slightly… unorthodox."

"Unorthodox how exac-"

Sarah Jane was cut off as her and the TARDIS were erased from their former location.

-Meanwhile-

Rose Tyler was tucking in her little brother when she got the call.

John Smith said that travel between universes was possible, for no apparent reason. Of course, she was the first to take the makeshift teleport to the Doctor's universe. She didn't even realize the teleport that whisked her away from Cardiff, to an unknown destination.

Sorry this was all anticlimactic dialogue, it'll get interesting soon. On request, Rose has to come back. But don't worry, the TARDIS'll teach her for being a manipulative, fake-blond little be-otch. And no, there actually is a realistic reason for her return, that ties in to the Master's return. And yes, I'll find a way to kill Rose off in the end. And yes, the TARDIS isn't a TARDIS, but is a TARDIS, but technically isn't still (spoiler), so it's all very paradoxical that she's a Timelady again, I'm surprised there isn't a supernova about the size of Belgium.