I don't have many friends. I used to be pretty popular, way back when. But since the accident, they all kinda avoided me. They didn't hate me, exactly. They were scared. In this world, werewolves and vampires were totally normal, so why would they be so scared of me, Jean Kirstein, a normal college student at Trost Uni? What a question that was.
First off, Eren Jaeger liked to spread rumours, the lying prick. You'd think Mikasa, his adopted sister, would try and set him straight, right? Not. A. Word. It was like she liked seeing me laughed at. Yeah, we got off to a rough start, but that was a complication I should've prepared for. You'd think Armin Arlert would've stepped in too. He didn't, though. All he ever does is follow that suicidal blockhead around wherever he goes.
Ymir and Historia speak to me only when spoken to, but then again, I'm not surprised. Historia's helped me out a few times, but we're not huge friends. Ymir was just, well, Ymir. That tough butch lesbian that acted all cutesy around Historia and Historia alone.
Sasha and Connie seem to be my only "friends" at this point, if that's even the best word for it. Connie and I'd share a beer a few times on the weekend, I suppose. Maybe watch tv together too. Sasha's the more supportive friend here. You see, I have these "episodes" as she likes to call them, to stop people from asking about them. She looks after me when I do. She's brave, I'll give her that. But then, she's a vampire. She has a huge healing factor. Scratches don't stand a chance on her supple skin.
Of course, there's also the Titan Trio. The three shapeshifters on campus that are part of the Titans, a unisex soccer team. Eren and Ymir are on it as well, but Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt hang around eachother so much that we had to give them the title. Reiner and I used to be good friends, but for a year now he's been avoiding me. A big, burly bloke avoiding a broomstick like me. Yeah, I'd be a little confused too. Can't blame you for that look on your face.
I had another friend too, but we haven't even made eye contact since what happened. Kinda hard, anyway, since he only has one eye to do it with. He's probably tried to talk to me from time to time, but I've cut myself off. I still use Facebook, and Skype, and maybe even scroll tumblr from time to time. Human interaction just seems off the cards these days.
"You wrecked my shoes again." I hear a frustrated mumble from the main room as in examine myself in the bathroom. Eren Jaeger is my roommate.
"Maybe you should try leaving them somewhere less inviting." I call out, not once taking my eyes off the mirror. My hair's a near mess. My shirt's two sizes too big, and so are my jeans. I have a few bruises, but nothing too serious.
"what's that even supposed to mean, you mutt?" He responds. "Listen, this is the last time I pay for shoe replacements. Next one's on you." He treats this like a regular thing. It is, actually. He's gotten through about twelve pairs of shoes in a year thanks to me. Can't say I regret it, because I don't remember doing it.
I stay in the bathroom for a few more minutes, when I hear a disgruntled yell emanate from the green-eyed boy.
"What the- what the hell is this? Okay, for the love of god, I swear I'll move out. I'll move in with Armin. Fuck this." I follow his complaining into the main room. In his bed, disguised by the duvet, Eren's mattress has been obliterated. Foam sticks to the fabric, making my hair stand on end with static as I go near the bed to examine it.
"Learn some self-control, man." He continues to complain.
"what can I say? It was bouncy." I smirk. "How was Armin's last night, anyway? Cramped up on that tiny sofa he has. Or were you somewhere a little more intimate?" I imply. That really sets him off.
"You know what, Jean? Why don't you just lay off and go back to kissing Marco's ass?"
Great.
He just has to bring Marco into this.
I stay quiet this time. Eren looks up at me. His expression changes slightly.
"Jeez, I didn't mean it. It just slipped out, alright?"
"Just drop it. I'll buy you back the fucking shoes." I walk to the dresser and grab a smaller shirt and jeans that didn't look like they could fall down at any moment. I bring them into the bathroom, shower and dress again.
When I get out again, Eren is gone. I guess he must've gone to meet with Mikasa and Armin. I pull out my phone and check through the abundance of notifications. A shitload of Facebook updates and a couple of snapchats. I open them. One is from Sasha and the other is from Connie. Sasha's is a picture of a reddened mark on her arm. A few hours ago, it would've been bleeding tremendously. Some envy her healing factor. It's captioned, "that's all you managed in 12 hours".
I open the one from Connie, too. It's a video, about five seconds long. Connie's room is right next to mine, and he shares with Marco. In the video, there isn't much to see but there's a huge racket in the background. The video is captioned "how do I sleep thru this?".
I take a snap of my face, close up on the dark circle under my eye, which had accumulated through the night before. I caption it "you don't" and send it to Connie. He replies pretty soon later, "well obviously not u".
I leave the building pretty soon later and head to the cafeteria. There, Sasha and Connie are waiting. Eren, Mikasa and Armin are there too, but seem to have already developed into a deep discussion. When I arrive at the table Connie and Sasha are at, Connie gets up to leave.
"Huh? I just got here." I mention.
"Yeah, I know, but there's someone I need to talk to. I'll see you in a bit, right?" He walks to a table in the corner of the room. His roommate, Marco is there. I can't bring myself to look at him without feeling sick. His skin is patterned with painful-looking scars that cross out his freckles, and an eyepatch marks the loss of his right eye.
And to think it's all my fault.
"Sorry about Connie. He's been a little preoccupied all day. No worries, right?" Sasha apologises to me. I almost don't hear her, because I'm half asleep. I give her a nod, trying to win a staring contest with the sea foam green wall. My body is awake but my mind is in a trance. I'm still thinking about everything that's happened in the past year. I continue like this for a while longer, before I feel a thick, broad hand hit against the back of my head.
It's Reiner. Six feet tall and muscles to compare to a superhero. I can't help but admit I feel a little intimidated by him, but who wouldn't be? He's huge. Though, rumour has it he's intimidated by me. Whatever it is, it's a surprise he's decided to come to talk to me.
"Hey, uh, the Titans are playing a match tonight. It's pretty big. Bertl wants to know if you guys are coming." He explains as I and Sasha look up at him. With us sitting down, we almost have to shield our eyes in his might.
I decide I'm not totally ready for a big event like that. It would mean going into a stadium surrounded by people, possibly some I've been avoiding for pretty valid reasons.
"Sorry, but I don't have ti-"
"We'd love to come! Connie's loaded, I'll find some way of dragging him along for tickets." Sasha beams. Great. I mean, I know she's trying to be a friend, but come on, Sasha. Think of the children.
"That's great. I guess I'll see you there." He strides off without another word. I'm surprised Bertholdt isn't with him, tailing off his magnificent wake.
When he's safely gone, I give Sasha an awkward, almost confused scowl.
"Come off it, Jean. A year ago, you'd be all over this kind of event. FIFA 15 doesn't cover it." She giggles, taking a small bite out of her sandwich. "Anyway, 's too late to back out now. I told him we're going."
"Not if Connie can't afford tickets." I point out.
"Trust me, he will." She smirks a little, and then I catch on. Connie's practically devoted to her these days. They're not exactly dating, but if it's not already obvious they have a thing for eachother, I don't know what is.
Sasha eats in silence for a while. I'm not so hungry, so I just sit there, reclaiming my unblinking view of the wall. I find myself delving back into the problems I can't seem to forget. The fact that Sasha and I are silent right now, when we could be laughing and talking to eachother, says a lot.
I need more friends. People I feel I can socialise with more. People like me.
But the problem is, nobody will actually tell me if they're like me. I wish I had a sixth sense. Like, so I could just look around the food court and go, hey, that guy's got my problem, too. Maybe I wouldn't feel so horribly desolate.
It's not too hard trying to figure out who's what around here, though. Sasha's pale and has long fangs. She always keeps a parasol with her. She's pretty clearly a vampire. Historia has long, sweeping wings that trail feathers around the floor. That alone kinda tells us she's an angel, if it's not just for her goddess-like demeanour.
I feel like it should be just as easy to spot a lycanthrope. After the infamous 'Mikasa Incident' most people around here know what one looks like.
I'm starting to go way too deep into this. If I go any further, I might just end up making myself depressed.
"Fucking hell, nobody told me there was a match on tonight! Come on, we gotta get tickets before they sell out."
I give this award for defusing the tension to Connie Springer! Come and get your prize, man. Before I know it, he's holding Sasha by the shoulders, getting bread crumbs all over the floor. He pulls her to her feet.
"Oh my god, just kiss already, you freaks." I mutter with a smirk stretching from ear to ear.
"Awh, poor Jean. Feeling left out?" Sasha teases me.
"God no. I just think you should make it official already."
Connie shoots me a glare, and then starts laughing. Sasha joins in. Then I feel obliged to laugh too. I guess these guys are my friends. We laugh together. That's enough, right?