SUPER CRAZY HAPPY FUN TWILIGHT THINGY
Okayy, so I was realllyyy bored and came up with this SUPER CRAZY HAPPY FUN TWILIGHT THINGY!!!!!!!! Ummmmmm, I think its set after Bella becomes a vampire. Sometimes I think I forget what she is, so there's probably a bit of both in there. I have no idea what is going on....... anyways ENJOY!!!!!!!!
CHAPTER ONE : SUPER COOL MAGIC HYPNOTISER DUDE
Edward POV
"Hey Bella, you wanna come to my place?" I said after school.
"Yeah, sure, cool," she said. "Why?"
"Well, we have this super cool magic hypnotiser dude coming over and he's going to hypnotise us all!!"
"YAY!!!!!!" Bella yelled as she climbed into my car. "WILL EMMETT BE THERE??"
People on the sidewalk were looking at us strangely.
"Umm, yeah sure," I said.
"AWESOME!!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO RIP HIM TO PIECES!!!!!!"
"Bella, why are you yelling??"
"BECAUSE I'M EXCITED ABOUT YOUR SUPER COOL MAGIC HYPNOTISER DUDE AND KILLING YOUR BROTHER."
"Why are you killing my brother?" I asked as I drove down my driveway.
"CAUSE I'M BORRRRRRED!!!!!!!!"
"Fair enough, Emmett did scratch my Shiny Silver Volvo yesterday."
Bella frowned. "I'M NOT KILLING EMMETT ANYMORE. HE'S MY BEST FRIEND."
"Why?"
"HE SCRATCHED YOUR VOLVO!!!! I'VE BEEN DYING TO DO THAT EVEN SINCE I FIRST SAW IT!!!!!! ITS JUST TOO PERFECT AND SHINY AND SILVER AND VOLVOEY AND-"
"Okay, I get it!!"
I led Bella inside.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS JACOB BLACK DOING IN MY HOUSE??????" I screamed when I saw Jacob on th couch, filing his nails. I didn't have time to ask myself why on earth Jacob was filing his nails.
"Calm down, yummy. Ask your daddy-boy if you, like, want to know that bad." Jacob said, glancing up from his nail filing.
"Why are you filing your nails, Jacob?" Bella asked, the question everyone was dying to ask. Now I had actually noticed everyone's thoughts.
"Because they were, like, so non-shiny and stuff. They need a buffing."
"I hear you sister," Rosalie said before she could stop herself. She clapped a hand over her mouth.
Why the hell did I just talk to Jacob Black nicely? she thought, horrified.
Jacob frowned. "Now, if everyone could stop bugging me, I would be a lot happier. I was having a total gossip sesh with Paul when Carlisle rang, so I'm all upset cause we didn't get to finish."
The Cullens stared at him with wide eyes.
A black midget man suddenly popped out of nowhere and started singing the Family Guy theme song.
It seems today, that all you see is violence and movies and sex on TV
Where are those good old-fashioned values on which we used to rely?
Here we have the family guy....
(Author Note: I think that's how it goes.... oh well if it isn't whoever made Family Guy can't sue me, eh? By the way, anything from now on that is bold and in brackets is me talkin not a character.... k??)
Carlisle tapped the black midget man on the shoulder when he started dancing in a circle.
"Waa Du Yu Wan?" the black midget man asked in a very unexpected Chinese accent.
"Ummmmmm..... WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE??????" Carlisle yelled.
"I Am Tha Sooper Mahgic Hypnotiiser Duude. Hu Ar Yu?????"
"We are the Cullens," Carlisle said, looking very creeped out.
"Ahhhh, I Ahm Att De Right Plhace den.... Ar Yu Reddy Tu Be Hypnotiised???????"
"YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Emmett screamed, running down the stairs.
"Well Den, Evveryone Neel Beefore Mee!!!!!"
Emmett and Jacob sunk to the ground before him almost instantly and started doing that weird worship thingy. (You know... where you kneel and put your hands in the air and move up and down...... hang on wasn't Jacob on the couch????? oh well he's worshipping the SUPER COOL MAGIC HYPNOTISER DUDE now :P)
Everyone else lowered themselves a little slower and didn't do the weird worship thingy.
The super cool magic hypnotiser dude waved his hands in the air and pulled a speaker out of his pocket. He pressed a button and Solja Boy started playing.
Solja Boy you did it oh
why we crank that why we roll
why we crank that solja boy
yeah superman's at home
(again, if this isn't right, solja boy can't sue me :-) )
Edward sighed. "Can we get this over with?" (right, it was edward's pov....... shit....... oh well it is now....... NO ONE'S POV!!!!! GASP!!!!!!! i will inform you if this changes)
"Thii Is How Ai Hipnowtiise!!!!!!" the super cool magic hypnotiser dude screamed. "Let Mii Worhk!!!!!"
Edward shut up.
The super cool magic hypnotiser dude stopped the music and pulled out a clock on a chain. He swung it slowly in front of the Cullens and Jacob. Their eyes followed it, and Jacob's tongue was out of his mouth like a dog.
After about five minutes of this, the super cool magic hypnotiser dude said, "You Ahre Hinowtiised! Ruhn Awahy, Mi Minyons, Bee Free!!!!!"
The super cool magic hypnotiser dude ran out the front door, laughing like a maniac. Everyone stared at him for a moment before Edward broke the silence.
"The door bell!" he sang.
The Cullens stared at him as he skipped to the door.
Yes, Edward is going crazy!!!! Ever since I first read the books I wanted to make Edward go crazy, and now I can!!!!!!! Have to wait until next chapter to find out what happens!!!!! working on it as we speak.... (Well, we aren't really speaking, but you get the picture.)