Lily Evans was not the type of girl to sit around wondering about fate. She had far too much to do between her classes, friends, and the bloody war going on to lounge about contemplating whether or not the universe had singlehandedly chosen her path. True, she did believe in fate and destiny and all that but she was not one to ponder. Typically, anyway.
She's lying on the floor of the common room in the Head Dormitories when she hears the door open. "Evans?" James Potter calls her out of her reverie. "Er. What are you doing?"
She turns her head and sees James looking at her curiously. Despite the fact that he's gotten to know her and be her friend, he isn't used to finding her sprawled out for no apparent reason at all. No one is. Lily Evans is not the type of girl to just think. And even if she does, she does it in the comfort of her bed.
"Dwelling," she replies, simply.
"Ah," is all he says back. She turns her gaze back up to the ceiling and figures he's gone to his room so she's sufficiently surprised when he lies down next to her. Softly, he asks, "Dwelling on what?"
She pauses for a moment. "Fate, I suppose. It's a lot for the second day of school, I know, but I can't help but wonder about it all. How everything is mapped out. How the littlest change could change the course of your life." He murmurs some sort of agreement and she goes on. "I guess I was wondering how life would be different if I wasn't sorted into Gryffindor."
"Oh?" His voice has the slightest twinge of hurt in it.
"I mean I am a Gryffindor. And I'm proud of it. But what if I had been sorted differently? I could've been, you know. I wanted to be with Severus; he was my only friend. I guess if I concentrated hard enough on achieving that, I would be considered ambitious. But I would've also been considered loyal and ended up in Hufflepuff. I became friends with him because of magic and he inspired a love of learning magic in me so I could've been a Ravenclaw.
"And if I had been sorted anywhere else, would I be here right now having this conversation with you? Would I have been Head Girl? I might've been too sweet tempered in Hufflepuff and lacked the passion in Ravenclaw. And Slytherin? If I was in Slytherin, I would be as good as dead by now."
He turns to her abruptly when she says that. "You think that?"
She turns her head as well. "We both know that," she corrects him gently. "It's just wonder how it came to be sometimes."
"The hat barely touched your head, Lily."
"I don't doubt being a Gryffindor exactly. I know that I belong. Oh, I can't explain it." She stops and loses herself in her thoughts and for a moment James fears that he lost the deepest connection to Lily Evans he ever had. "I can explain it, actually," she says quietly. He raises an eyebrow. "I'm scared. Gryffindor! Where the brave dwell at heart! That's what it's supposed to be. But me? I'm terrified. I'm terrified of leaving here and facing the outside world and worrying about Voldemort. Hell, I'm scared I'll run into Slytherins sometimes in between classes. And even when I walk with you or Sirius or Marlene, I'm scared I'm not enough, that I can't even protect myself. I guess I'm petrified that I'm right about myself."
She finishes the most personal monologue she's had with anyone in a while and blinks back the tears that threaten to spill. James doesn't reply right away and she fears she's made a complete fool in front of the one person who could hold this against her if he so chooses. So she is once again sufficiently surprised (though this tends to happen quite often when matters pertain to James Potter) when he slips her hand into his.
"Lily." For one moment, all he says is her name. And he says it so softly, so sweetly, so perfectly that she can't help but feel that she is safe and that everything is going to be okay. "Lils, look at me." She turns to meet his gaze, his hazel eyes intensely looking into her green ones. He lifts his other hand and gently runs over a scar on the side of her face from a run in with some Slytherins last year. It was so faint that you had to know it was there in order to notice it. "Lils, you are not a coward. This scar didn't come because you were a coward. Anything you fear isn't because you are a coward. You are scared but you are brave. You have an incredible amount of courage in you. And you are not alone. You have me, and Sirius, and the rest of the Marauders, and Marlene, and Emmeline, and whoever else. We're going to do this together. We're going to end this together. I will never, ever leave you to face anything by yourself."
She nods slightly, her own hand tracing his matching scar, fully understanding that he wasn't exaggerating. James Potter is never going to abandon her.
"Lily Evans, I think I might just be in love with you."
He is searching her face for her usual reaction. An eyeroll, her hand jerking away, her body tensing, or some sort of verbal jab. He is waiting for it, in fact.
"James Potter," she replies softly, "I think I might just be in love with you too."
