"I'm… sorry, Captain."
He watched as the midwife slinked away, her chin nearly hitting her chest as she did so.
Hook felt the wildness set into his eyes. What was he to do now?
He hadn't loved her. After Milah… After Milah, love was something that he hadn't expected anyway. That hadn't stopped him from moving on. The physical enjoyment of having a woman in his bed was better than nothing.
He hadn't expected the swell of belly only months after being back on land. He hadn't expected one barwench to be any different from the next. This one had been different though. This one… had made promises of a babe to be born within a year of their meeting.
What she hadn't warned him on was the fact that all births don't end happily. Sometimes a life could be lost. Sometimes… both lives- mother and child- could be lost.
Hook looked at the lifeless body of the woman in the bed. He didn't know what he was feeling as he saw the sweat still glistening from her skin. It could've been more. She had birthed a baby to him- a son. Her death should have meant more.
He heard the small cry from across the room. Turning his head back towards the vicinity where the midwife had crept to, he looked over at the bassinet.
Hook couldn't see the wee babe, but he heard him. Strong lungs. Aye, his son.
His boot-cladded steps were heavy on the floor as he, too, moved towards the cry.
"What am I…"
The midwife turned back to him quickly, looking every bit nervous. Or maybe it was fear. Fear of a pirate captain who was now supposed to take custody of his newborn babe.
Needing to ask questions of her left tinges of pink high on his cheeks. That was unacceptable.
Hook moved closer to the bassinet, hiding his face from the woman.
"What… now?"
His breath caught in his throat as he caught sight of the thing. Such a little thing, already sleeping peacefully enough. There was no knowledge of the fact that his life had changed already. An orphan. Motherless.
"He… is… yours, Captain." Her voice was meek and unsure.
From the heavens above…
He looked like…
Hook felt the swell of tears in his eyes. How was that even possible?
"Liam," he acknowledged thickly. He didn't see the woman who laid in that bed. He saw pieces of him and Liam. He even saw- the thought weakened him- bits of his own mother.
"Liam Jones," he whispered, closing his eyes.
"Tis a beautiful name, Captain."
"It is a strong name," Hook murmured as a vision of the elder Jones brother crossed his mind.
"Would… would you like to hold him?"
He opened his eyes to find her leaning over the bassinet. A tiny baby in his arms?
What was he supposed to do?
Shielding his eyes as best possible, Hook watched closely as she pick up the baby. She was slow and careful as she placed Liam in his arms.
What was this weight? It was absolutely nothing. Yet, it was everything.
Liam barely moved, looking as if sleep was upon him.
Hook couldn't help but look back at the fallen woman behind him.
She left this child motherless. She died to give him life. She died to give Hook something to live for besides…
He turned back towards the babe. His son. His own Liam Jones.
"This will be a journey full of unexpectedness, little one," he whispered close to him. "But… I will do anything and everything to do right by you."
Hook closed his eyes again, bringing the bundle up closer to his chest. He could smell new life. It was a sweet smell. A different scent to get used to when he was more accustomed to the stench of death.
"I will do right by you, my boy."
Four years later...
"First beanstalk?"
It wasn't as if she'd disillusioned herself into believing that it was going to be easy….
The view, why did she even look down, seemed more implausible with each pull up.
"Well, you never forget your first."
Emma, trying to even out her breathing, threw a look up at him. A hook and one hand, and he was still ahead of her.
"You know, most men would take your silence as off-putting, but…" His eyes widened and a smile split across his face as he hung comfortably from the beanstalk. "I love a challenge."
How was he so chipper? Why was he bordering on cockiness, as if they weren't hundreds of feet off the ground and heading for… a giant's castle. In search for a compass? What had her life become?
Hook's sudden need for conversation forced a new motivation in Emma. His words went in one ear and almost out the other as she pressed herself farther up the beanstalk.
Afraid to talk. Reveal yourself. Trust me.
That phrase caught her attention. Trust me.
"You should be used to people not trusting you."
"Ah, the pirate thing."
Emma tamed the need to roll her eyes.
Pirate.
Pirate? Captain freaking Hook. And he was talking to her about trust and…
What made him think that he knew her?
Open book. Motivated. Get back to a child. Abandoned.
He said that she was an open book. But he was the one who seemed to be quite perceptive.
"Was I?" she breathed out, her eyes roaming the face that spoke as if he himself believed every word to be true.
"Like I said: open book."
If she let him, he could be disconcerting. She didn't have time for him to be disconcerting.
"How would you know that?"
Hook's explanation was one that she wanted to dismiss. It was full of… more of this mysterious and magical world. Captain Hook. The Lost Boys. Neverland.
"Yeah, well, my world ain't Neverland."
Turning her attention away from him, away from his need to dissect her, Emma looked back up towards the top of the beanstalk. It was a trip still nowhere near over.
He spoke of love. He spoke of her. Who in the hell was he to ask her such personal questions?
"Have you ever even been in love?"
By the tone of the question, was she supposed to believed that Captain Hook had the capacity to love? Well that was something that was never hinted in the books or movies about him… Because he was who he was- a fairytale character come to life- it was an easy answer to give.
Looking straight into his eyes, she answered, "No, I have never been in love."
Emma turned away from a face that pretended to be all-knowing. Again, she concentrated on the climb ahead of her.
She would have been happy if he'd left it at that. If only her answer had been enough for him. If only he'd kept quiet and his thoughts to himself.
"To live in this world without experiencing love?"
Emma watched as he again, with still one hand and a hook, pulled ahead of her on the beanstalk. Looking up at him reluctantly, their positioning gave them both a new view of each other.
"That is a predicament that I would only wish on my sworn enemy," Hook murmured silkily.
What in the hell! It was one thing to come to terms with knowing that there were realms and worlds beyond what she had only known. It was something else altogether to have this… pirate talk to her about love. As they climbed an endless plant...
"You're talking to me about… love?" It was his sudden grin that amazed her. "Seriously?"
Hook's eyes turned shrewdly on hers.
"You seem to have this preconceived notion of me." His hold on the vine loosened, his stance once again lingering. "All over the term pirate, is that it?"
Did he have to ask? Emma looked away from him, turning her gaze back up at the towering beanstalk.
"More like all over the name 'Captain Hook,'" she finally answered dourly. How much longer could they possibly have?
"Aye, just as I believed."
Emma shot him a quick look over towards him. She came in contact with more of that quiet cockiness and self-assuredness.
"The name precedes me." Hook offered her a quick and easy smile.
"Something like that," she murmured in answer, grabbing forcefully at the closest open spot on the beanstalk.
"You don't care to share much," he commented easily. "At least not about yourself."
So he'd noticed…
"But like me, you have nothing but time on your hands."
"Or hand," Emma muttered as she quickly took over the lead.
"Oi, another shot at my expense." Looking at the grin on his face, he didn't seem to mind. "As I was saying, love, we have nothing but time." That grin became only a slight smile. "You've never experienced that act of being in love, yet there… is a son… that you wish to return to."
If Emma had thought she'd seen the smile falter before, it was even easier to tell this time.
"What does that have to do with anything?"
The mention of Henry and home made her both frown and push herself up the beanstalk even quicker.
"One does not always lead to the other," Hook agreed, now moving quicker himself. "But there is something to be said of having the latter without the former."
"And what would you know about that?"
Emma didn't trust herself to look at him. Not when he felt so compelled to speak on terms she had no interest in sharing.
"You'd be surprised, Swan."
It was the bitterness in his voice that made her turn, against her own better judgment.
She got a glimpse of his profile. A clenched jaw spoke volumes, but to what, Emma wasn't sure.
She wasn't surprised by the sudden change in attitude. She didn't ask what had caused it either. It didn't matter. Maybe, with him in deep thought, it was a chance to climb silently. She was all for silence. Especially now with fresh thoughts of her son and home in her mind.
"There, can you see it?"
Hook's gaze rested on the top of the beanstalk. The actual top of the beanstalk!
"We should be there in the matter of minutes. Perhaps twenty or so," he murmured through a smile.
His once again chipper mood forced Emma to look up towards the top herself. It had been hours. Having the ending in sight was almost enough to move her tired body even that much faster. He'd said twenty minutes. It was probably more like thirty. All she wanted was for this part of their journey to be over.
"Fine," she said in a huff.
His laugh was light and fun, as if he didn't have a care in the world. As if they weren't only minutes away from meeting a giant who would be willing to kill them as they looked for a compass.
"The rules here are so different from real life," Emma muttered to herself, shaking her head in disbelief.
"This here." Hook's voice had a tinge of curiosity to it. "This is real life. These are everyday occurrences amongst a world ruled by magic."
His words made her turn towards him. She wasn't surprised to have him already staring at her.
"Emma?" His voice was almost quiet, his eyes cutting on her.
She didn't know why he was able to go from playful adventurer to fierce seriousness so randomly.
"What?" Emma frowned, waiting for him to say whatever was on his mind.
"This world that you are from," he began slowly, almost carefully. "This Storybrooke that Regina conjured up?"
"I'm not from Storybrooke," Emma muttered. She looked away from him then, choosing to set her sight on the top of the beanstalk. It would have been so easy to say that she didn't know where she came from. Was this home? Boston? Was Storybrooke home?
"What is it like?"
The question was asked with such earnest that it made her turn back towards him.
Hook was good with switching faces. Or maybe he was good with showing only what he wanted to show.
"Nothing like this," she said with a raise of her eyebrow. "Why?"
The arm raised, his hook piercing into the flesh of the plant.
"The reason why I am here is to gain safe passage to this land," he reminded her. "I've crossed many realms and seen many lands. I'm merely curious as to what I will find there."
"You mean other than Rumplestiltskin?"
Hook's eyes, shrewd as ever, were on her again.
"The crocodile is not an issue that I am worried about, I assure you. I will have my revenge. And then…"
"And then… what?"
What did he truly expect to gain, other than trying to get his hands on Gold, by coming to Storybrooke?
There was a sudden smile that crossed over his face.
"Well, that is the question, isn't it, love?" Hook smiled at her again. An easy smile that hid some of the pirate persona. "I have an agenda besides that of my revenge, I assure you."
"And what would that be?" Emma asked with a frown.
It was answered by the widening of his smile.
"Does it matter?"
Emma took in a deep breath, trying to steady herself.
"Storybrooke, the world that it lines in for that matter, isn't like it is here," she tried to explain. "People don't go around taking personal revenge out on others. Not without facing consequences. There are rules and regulations that are followed. Well..."
Emma let her voice trail off, her thoughts turning to what just the whiff of magic in the air had already done to the town and how quickly a lynch mob had started up.
"Sounds…" He looked pensive and in thought. "Promising."
Hook's movement quickened again, almost furthering the gap between them.
"And your son?" He didn't look at her.
"What about…"
"Without the dangers that have plagued this world here, it must be a fairly simpler job to keep a child out of harm's way. To raise him without the dangers that are certainly found here? Yes."
"There aren't ogres or sorcerers at every turn, if that's what you mean," Emma muttered, quickening her own pace. "What's with the interest anyway?"
"As I said." Hook looked down at her, already feet ahead of her. "I have my own agenda."
That was the last thing he said. His attention was focused once again on the climb.
Emma sighed and didn't deny herself the gratification of rolling her eyes.
The compass was close. It was her only comfort. If the compass was close, it meant home was close. And home meant Henry.
He was full of innuendos. His charm and gentlemanly act could be unnerving. It was easy for her to realize that he liked it that way.
Emma didn't know what he wanted to gain from grabbing at her hand and bandaging it. Had it been his desire to soften her up even more? Hadn't he said enough on their trek up the beanstalk?
Hook's voice was melodic and soothing throughout. It didn't take away from the fact that she knew who he was. She knew what had brought him on this journey: a chance to get at his crocodile. And that was the only reason. Or was it? Because…
Emma didn't owe him anything. Not really. Not even for the fact that he'd given them this chance to make it back home. He had his own motivations, and she would never forget that.
The ease he had found in telling his story as they got closer to the top had still been surprising. How much was true? Then, again, what was the point of lying? To soften her to his resolve?
"Whatever these stories that you believe you know of me…" Hook looked at her with wide eyes and easy smile. "They seem to be quite distorted."
Emma didn't look back at him as she continued to everlasting climb.
"Just what you said: ruthless Captain Hook, seeking a harmless Peter Pan, the Lost Boys, and Neverland. I'm sure there's more, but that's what stuck."
Her words made him pause. Turning just then to see what was wrong, she saw the glint of something that was so unlike what he'd been previously. Maybe it was a glimpse at what she thought Captain Hook was supposed to be.
"That's quite the tale, lass," he murmured quietly. "I like the 'ruthless' part. There are other parts of your tale that are not quite so exact." Hook moved then, finally making his way back up the plant. "I was in Neverland for many many years. Getting away had been a decision not made lightly. Especially when my plan of exacting my revenge had not been realized at that point. Leaving Neverland meant aging and losing precious time in my hunt."
Emma looked back at him, hearing the reminiscent tone in his voice.
"It was a decision that I have never regretted," Hook continued, moving slow. "If I had not…"
"Is that when you met Cora?" Emma asked, although she was unsure why she was attempting to further the conversation.
He looked at her then, an eyebrow raising in silent mockery.
"Not just then," he answered. "There was quite a bit of life I lead before finally getting back on the path to my goal." He took a glimpse back up again.
It was another bout of silence after that. It was as if thoughts of what had lead him there to that moment had turned him dark again. There was meaning to his mission again.
"You're a tough lass." More charm. More of an act.
Emma wasn't one hundred percent positive that she knew what it was that he was holding back on. She did know that it had to be something. Something more to the reason he was here.
"You'd make a hell of a pirate."
As his hand came up to offer the bag of powder, it was his arm that had drawn her attention. A tattoo. A name.
"Who's Milah?" Emma let her eyes slide back to his. "On the tattoo."
The fall of his face was instant. It was still easy to see how even the mentioning of the name affected him.
"Someone from long ago."
Had it been necessary for him to walk away from her? What had driven the change from quick wit to painful thought?
"It matters not. She's gone."
His voice from behind her sounded as if it was striving for normalcy. Milah. She was gone, but at what cost? It was easy enough to see that it was at his expense.
"Gold?" It was the only thing that made sense. Emma turned around, and was presented his back. "He took more than your hand from you, didn't he?"
It was only then that Hook turned back to her.
"For someone who's never been in love before, you're quite perceptive," he murmured, his eyes locking on hers.
Funny. Emma had thought the same about him.
"Maybe I was… once," she admitted quietly.
It was a moment. Just a moment where their thoughts were their own. Until…
"If only it was as simple as a misdeed of one, no matter how lowly that misdeed was." There was a darkening of his eyes; a time where he seemed to go somewhere dark yet familiar to him.
That look took Emma away from her own complicated past. She was here, on top of a beanstalk, with Captain Hook. The grief and sadness was compelling enough to want to know more.
"What else is there?" she asked in a whisper, readying herself for anything that might come from his lips.
The pain on his face slowly disappeared, being replaced by yet another familiar look. The cunning smile was accompanied by devilish eyes.
"I assure you, it matters not," Hook said with a small shake of his head. "At least not while the compass is out of our hands." His turn was sudden, his back being presented to her again. "We have work to do. Shall we get on with it then?"
He impressed her. Maybe even more than he ever should have.
He was courageous when the time called for it. His bravery with the giant had proven that fact. It had also been surprising. Just when she had thought that there was no way he could have possibly survived, there he was to show her different. A maddening grin on his face accompanied those words that reminded her of who he really was. Captain Hook.
He was different than what the books had said. But what did that mean? The man with her was all pirate. And what that meant was that, no matter what charm he liked to display, the truth of the matter was that he was out for himself.
The second matter had been handled. They'd made their trek up the beanstalk and had put the giant to sleep. Walking through the giant's cave, there was still a hefty need to keep him at arm's length.
He was still the man that had been partners with Cora. That meant that he had been willing to kill her, her mother, Aurora, and Mulan all without a single thought. The only thing that had changed was his belief on what could get him what he wanted the easiest. That was now her.
Maybe it was being used to life in the Enchanted Forest… Maybe that was why trekking through the rooms of a giant's home allowed for ease. He had a swagger about him. How was it possible to almost be trapped in a cage by tripping a wire and then feel the ease to flirt with her? How was it possible that he felt that taking time to savor a treasure was more important than trying to get the hell out of there as soon as possible?
The room was a mess. The task already seemed impossible.
"So it's just… in here somewhere?" Emma's eyes widened over the stretch of the room.
"Allegedly." It came out of Hook's mouth as if that bit of information didn't make the task all that much harder. "Give me boost, would you, love?"
Hook was yards away from her. What had he found that was so interesting.
"So I can't see what you're pocketing?" Emma moved quickly over to where his attention had been directed. "No way. You give me a boost."
Hook was quick to turn her way, catching her eye before he spoke.
"Try something new, darling." The look he gave her was one of confusion and conviction. "It's called trust."
Who was he to ask for trust, from her of all people? It still had a way of unnerving her.
Emma took hold of the bar of the cage in front of her and sighed.
"We do it side by side and fast," she told him firmly. "Who knows how long before the…"
Her words had not left her mouth before the quake under her feet happened again. Her head turned swiftly back in the direction of the sound.
There was no need for further explanation as to what was happening.
"Someone's up."
The closer the giant got, the stronger the quake became.
"Quickly."
Emma was already moving with him.
"Get under something."
The sight of a giant was quite different from on the floor versus perched high atop the shoulders of a statue. It was that quick glance back that separated them.
With the room tearing down around her, her eyes went wild in sheer horror as she watched the Hook's body disappear under a pile of rubble.
"Hook!"
Was he?
Heart pounding in her ears, Emma turned swiftly around to face her giant.
The decision to leave him wasn't an easy one, and yet it was the only reasonable decision to be made. He was still Captain Hook. He still had an agenda that hadn't boded well with her or her own ultimate goal. Trusting him not turn on her once they made it safely back to the ground was something that she just couldn't allow herself to do. Not now. Not when making it home and back to Henry was the most important thing she had to do. She couldn't allow the opportunity of failure to get anywhere near her.
Out of the two, it was the giant- Anton- that she could trust. He wouldn't kill Hook. He would let him go. Just after she had enough time to do what she needed to do…
Emma could hear him underneath the rubble. It was Hook's hand, already outstretched and in need of help that she first saw. It meant that he was okay. He was alive. And he would stay that way.
"Hook." His name left her mouth softly as she watched him try to crawl out from underneath the plaster. On hands and knees, she reached out to help.
His hand wrapped around hers and pulled, his laugh full of surprise and humor.
"You are bloody brilliant. Amazing!"
Emma smiled at the compliment as she looked him over. He was wiping away the dirt and debris that had fallen onto him. There hadn't been a scratch on him, and that was amazing.
"May I see it? The compass?" Hook's hand turned out towards her again. The smile on his face and the tone of his voice were trusting.
It all left Emma feeling uneasy. She was going to have to leave him. Trusting him was impossible. Giving him the chance to be so close to the compass was a decision she had to think on.
She pulled it from her pocket and held it out for him to see, only see.
"It's more beautiful than legend." Hook's fingers move just slightly toward it.
It was with caution and the knowledge of what she had to do that Emma pulled back. She slipped the compass, that looked only like a tool to get her home rather than something to be in awe of, back into her pocket.
Hook still seemed at ease as he smiled at her. She let herself smile back, but only a bit. Stalling wasn't making her decision to leave him any better.
His hand reached out for hers again.
"Come. Let's go."
The trust on his face was so easily detected. Why did he seem to trust her so? His hand was right there, waiting for her to take it. She did so, with her right hand. He didn't notice how she grabbed at the chain beside them with her left. Holding his hand tightly, she quickly clasped the chain around his wrist and locked him there. The need to separate herself from him was automatic, and she pushed herself into a standing position and away from him.
"What are you doing?" Hook's voice held a tinge of surprise and disbelief. "What are you doing?" He lifted to his feet, his eyes searching her face in confusion.
It was almost too much for her. There was almost too much truthfulness in his actions.
"Hook, I…" Her eyes fluttered as she looked down. "I… I can't…"
"Emma, look at me."
She did as he requested, and there was still an inner turmoil of what was right and what was wrong.
"Have I told you a lie?" There was a pain on his face that stemmed from his disbelief.
She still couldn't trust him. Had he lied to her?
"I brought you here," he continued. "I risked my own safety to help you. The compass is in your hand. Why do this to me now?"
"I can't take a chance that I'm wrong about you." It was a gamble that she just couldn't make. "I'm sorry."
Emma saw how the confused expression on his face deepened just before she moved to turn.
"You can't take a chance?" Hook asked, sounding angry from behind her. "You can't take a chance? Emma, wait! Stop."
Her eyes blinked as she listened to his words, but she couldn't heed them. She was sure it was the fact that she hadn't stopped that made his words even angrier.
"I got you here! I got you the compass!"
Was it the self-righteousness or the fact that this fierce anger was new from him?
Emma turned around, feeling eager to defend herself from his misunderstanding.
"I got the compass!"
"And you're just going to leave me here to die? Have that beast to eat me- crush my bones?"
"He's not a beast."
There was another change in him. The anger that she knew was deep, seemed to turn into a fear that was, again, new to see.
"You can't leave me here to die!"
"You're not going to die," she assured him fiercely.
"And you feel compelled to take him at his word and not me?" Hook asked, his eyes leveling on hers. "I didn't lie to you, Emma. Never! No matter what you wish to believe, it was I who got you here. Without me, you wouldn't have that compass…" His gaze was driven to her pocket where the compass sat. "It wouldn't be in your possession. And yet you have no problem with leaving me here?"
"I just need a head start, that's all," Emma told him. She took in a deep breath, feeling the need to stay strong and not be swayed.
Hook met her gaze again. This time there was a worry that bordered on fear.
"And if you're wrong? If he doesn't let me go after you've secured your head start?" He moved up as far as the chain would let him. The desperation in him caused him to yank at it, growling in fury. "Emma, you can't leave me here. If you do, then I may never get…"
"Your revenge on Rumplestiltskin?" Emma asked, shaking her head.
He threw his eyes back on her. The quick glimpse of anger turned again into something much more.
"Everything isn't about revenge," he whispered. "You are doing this to get back home and back to a child. Emma, I know exactly what you are feeling and why the need is so strong."
His words made Emma swallow. She took a step back, already knowing that she had stayed too long to listen to his plea.
"What would you know about it?" she asked just as softly.
"I know that there is a fear that comes over you about not being good enough," Hook told her, standing as tall as he could. "I know that as soon as you are put into a situation that seems dire and hopeless, no matter what anyone else tells you, you get the instant feeling that you've failed. You've failed when failure was the most impossible conclusion to come to. I know that that feeling pushes you to try whatever you can think of to make that failure a success. Emma."
She watched as he yanked again at the chain, all to no avail.
"I know all of that because I also know what it is like to have a child who needs me." It was another growl of frustration.
His words confused her. Was he lying? He said he had never lied to her before, but he had to be lying now.
"What are you talking about, Hook?" Emma asked as she took another step back.
He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. His gaze never left hers, and there was a range of emotions that followed on his face.
"I have a son," he informed her. "I have a son named Liam. He is only four, Emma. If you leave me here, if you put all your faith in that… giant and expect me to do the same, then I may never see him again. And he needs me." His face crumpled then, maybe with thoughts of the boy he spoke of. "Just as much as I need him."
It was a lie. It was all a lie!
"Why?" Emma asked with a shake of her head. This time, the step she took was forward. "Why would you say that? Do you think that I would sympathize with you?"
Hook's lips pursed while he rubbed his fingertips together.
"I'm telling you the truth," he bit out.
"Where is he?" Emma watched him closely. She looked for more lies. "If you have a son, where is he?"
It made him sigh. There was pain written over his face.
"He is safely tucked away, hidden under the protection in the forest until I can get back to him."
"So you left him?" That made no sense. "Alone."
"Cora knows where he is," he whispered darkly. "She has the area he's in under a protection spell. He will no nothing of the time that elapsed from the time I left him until the time I am back."
Emma lifted her chin, catching all the errors in his words.
"So… Cora is protecting him? If that is true, doesn't that tell me that I have no reason to trust you?"
She saw the confusion in his face from that question.
"If he's being protected by Cora, why would I ever believe that you would honor us and not go back to work with her?" Emma shook her head. "I don't believe you, Hook. And even if I did, I would have to leave you."
"Swan?" Her name left his mouth in all earnest. "Please don't do this." He looked… almost defeated as he shook his head. "My son is out there alone without my protection. He needs me."
Even in earnest, she couldn't take him at his word. A son?
"You'll be free soon enough." Emma chose to turn then. She had to. "I just need a head start, that's all."
"Swan?"
It was louder this time. The chains rattled.
"Swan!"
She couldn't. She had to leave him. This time, she didn't turn back.