Waves.
It was the first thought that came to Monty as he watched the bars above his bed continue to sway like wavelengths. He blinked several times to get rid of the image but it only made his stomach churn. As such, he shut his eyes instead. He wished for the room to stop spinning. This wasn't anything like getting high.
There was always euphoria and a cloudy hazy hum behind his eyelids that mimicked the sense of flying above everything. Yes, at times the high caused him to crash when Monty had taken a little too much than his frame could handle. Usually nausea was the end result. But, this nausea wasn't anything like the silly little plants he used to take back on the Ark or the tiny beans around the campsite.
This felt like sickness.
He wanted to puke, but puking didn't offer any relief. It only made him more groggy and tired.
So he tried to sleep, but his focus was still on the group.
What would happen if more didn't volunteer? Would they be locked in cages like the other Grounders? What happened when they ran out blood?
He released a shaky breath.
"Monty?"
Monty's eyes snapped open when he saw Jasper hovering over him.
"Are you ok?" Jasper questioned.
Monty snorted. "Perfect."
Jasper frowned and without asking, pushed Monty to the side so they could lie side by side on the small bed. This wasn't the first time Jasper did this in their stay at Mount Weather. Everyone else found it completely normal too that they didn't question when they saw the two tangled together in the morning. So, Monty didn't fret when Jasper cuddled next to him in the middle of the night. But it was always
Jasper who came into his bed.
Monty was too scared.
When Jasper crawled into his bed, he did it out of comfort and companionship. If Monty were to do it, he knew everything would be laid bare for Jasper to see. Monty didn't want that. After all, Jasper's focus never fell on him in such ways. It was always some other girl, first Octavia and now Maya. Jasper didn't feel the same way and Monty needed to accept that.
"You'll feel better in the morning, promise." Jasper smiled.
It was Monty's turn to frown. He knew that smile. He hated seeing that forced grin on his friend's face.
Jasper's smile fell when he got caught in the act. "Don't be scared. We'll get through this."
"Or Clarke will."
"Yeah. I wish I would have listened to her."
"You thought you were doing the right thing. All of us did."
"But you were the first one to see that something was wrong after she left. I should have listened to you...again."
Monty's eyes flashed back to campsite where Jasper was the false hero. "Forget it. As long as you get it now."
Jasper shuffled closer. "How do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Forgive me for being an idiot."
The answer was so obvious to Monty. The fact that Jasper didn't know just further proved to Monty that Jasper really felt nothing outside of friendship. "Because you're my idiot." Monty decided to say with a small smirk.
Jasper's smile finally reached his eyes. "Oh? What does that make you then? My Idiot in Command?"
Monty held his snort. "Sure seems that way, but you seem to do the job fine on your own."
Jasper stuck out his tongue. Monty reciprocated the gesture.
Silence engulfed the pair as they shut their eyes. Monty had thought Jasper had fallen asleep, but then he felt a hand under the sheets grasp his own. "I promise I won't act like an idiot. I won't put you in danger again." The grip tightened. "I can't let anything happen to you. I—"
Monty's eyes opened. Jasper had gotten closer to the point where Monty really had to focus otherwise Jasper was just a blur. His still felt the presence of dizziness which wasn't helping in the matter.
"You what?" Monty breathed after seconds went by.
Jasper shut his eyes. Monty thought that was the end of the conversation, but he suddenly felt lips against his own. Monty stared at Jasper through the kiss even when he pulled back.
Jasper didn't meet his eyes. "I thought..never mind."
Monty didn't let him pull back. He leaned in capturing Jasper's lips. The kiss was chaste, just lips moving against each other. But it was enough for Monty to know that Jasper felt the same way. Monty's stomach churned at the thought. His world churned like soft waves.