Just a quick one shot about Feathertail and Crowfeather/paw. Review?
I didn't mean to fall in love with him.
I didn't mean to fall in love with the brash, arrogant apprentice, the novice in our group. But I quickly learned that my heart had spoken, and, like it or not, I had to follow it. I don't really know what attracted me to him. On the outside he seemed narcissistic, rather stupid and narrow-minded, but I saw beyond that. I saw a sensitive, gentle cat that was fiercely protective and loyal. I think that, at the time, I was the only one who saw this. But I don't know. All I knew was that we were destined to be together, him and me.
As time went on, our love grew, and he began to return it. I felt the start of something excellent, something great. I was young and foolish at the time, and the fact that he was from another clan just didn't seem to register in my head. I a strange sense I'm almost glad we couldn't be together, I'm almost glad it didn't work out. I would have been so hard, so hard. And yet I loved him, I loved more than anything else in the world. And so as we entered the tribe's territory, I knew we weren't far away and tat we'd have to face the clans soon. But I didn't know that this would be the end of me, in a barren, lifeless cave. How was I to know?
They said that their version of StarClan had told them of the coming of a silver cat. They thought it was Stormfur, how wrong they were, how wrong they were. It was me that they needed, me, and when the time came, and it was a matter of life and death, some inner voice told me what I had to do, to save every one I loved, and the tribe cats. I never expected death to be so cold, so dark, but when I opened my eyes, there I was in StarClan. And from there I watched, watched what was to become of Crowpaw.
I watched as he fought his demons, as he made his choices. I suffered the agony of the clans as they went hungry, and as more of them joined us everyday, I knew it was now or never for the clan cats. And so I watched as they made their choices, as they set off on their journey, and I watched as they found the tribe, again. And than I watched proudly as Crowpaw gained his warrior name and became Crowfeather, a mighty warrior of WindClan.
And then I watched as he fell for Leafpool, I watched that too. I felt hurt inside me for what he had done, but I couldn't blame him. He had to follow his heart like I followed mine. Beside, he had to move on sometime, he had to get over me and I had to get over him. Oh, but I would never get over him, and I knew that from the bottom of my heart. I watched him make mistakes, I watched him run away, abandon the clans, I came to Leafpool telling her I didn't mind him loving another cat. But I did, and every time I saw him with her the ache in my heart flared up.
I had always wanted to have kits with Crowfeather, and so when Leafpool fell pregnant I felt a million different things, jealousy, hurt and betrayal. But I put on a brave face. I wasn't Crowfeather or Leafpool fault that I was bitter. I watched with horror at the attacks on ThunderClan, and breathed a sigh of relief when Crowfeather decided to come back. That was the loyalty I had seen within him. That was my Crowfeather.
I watched the heartbreaking scene of him leaving Leafpool, and I almost felt his conflicting emotions, his pain. And then I watched as he found yet another mate in Nightcloud. In a sense this was the worst thing he'd done; been with some cat he didn't love. But I could forgive him; he did need to prove his loyalty after all. And then I watched as his kits grow up, I felt him become bad-tempered and bitter, but I still loved him, and I knew I always would.
I watched in agony as his son became twisted and evil, as he swore revenge on his father, and I had this sudden desire to protect him, to defend him from anything his own progeny should do. And then I felt the shock and dismay at finding out he had three kits in ThunderClan. I felt his humiliation and grief. And then I felt grief my self when Hollyleaf died a terrible death it the tunnels. I watched him be alienated by his clan mates, watched them whisper about him and avoid his gazes. Hi heart became even darker, his persona even more crueller.
But I never stopped loving him.
And through everything, I guess that's what mattered most, even when he became everything I wasn't and dark and twisted, I still loved him. Even when he abandoned his clan, I still loved him. Even when he took another mate, I still loved him. And even though we are separated by a whole world, I guess he still loves me.