Pretending, a total drama series fanfic

Pretending

Face to face and heart to heart
we're so close, yet so far apart
i close my eyes i look away
that's just because I'm not okay

His bright, blue eyes looked up. He couldn't help but look directly at her. It was as if his body was just drawn to look. She never looked back, but, even in the off chance she did, Duncan always looked straight back down. The last thing he wanted was for her to catch him looking, because he didn't want her to know that he loved her.

The two always sat this far apart. No more than a desk separating them, yet it felt like a million miles to Duncan. Courtney was never close enough for him these days.

It was one of those off chances that Courtney looked back. She didn't smile at him like she had used to. Everything had changed now. It was all wrong for all the wrong reasons.

Duncan just closed his eyes, turning away from Courtney. Ignorance. That was what Courtney always put it down to. He could never bear to look her in the eyes anymore. She never would have guessed it was because he was secretly being torn apart inside. Duncan was not okay, like everyone believed he was. Duncan was heartbroken.

But i hold on, i stay strong
wondering if we still belong

Not once did either of them break. Neither wanted to be the first to admit they were wrong. Especially Duncan. He had been the one who had messed up in the first place.

Courtney and Duncan had once been so in love. Then he had gone and cheated. It had only been one innocent kiss. But Courtney had found out and cried her heart out for days. She promised herself she was not going to fall for his tricks again, but she could not help but break that promise. However, she was not going to break easily.

Duncan was also staying strong. He may have been falling apart inside, but he was not breaking his shell. His tough exterior was the only thing stopping him from breaking down in tears at that moment. Every time he saw Courtney that was what he felt like doing.

All Duncan had left was thinking about Courtney. She wouldn't talk to him. It made him question their entire relationship. Was it all a lie? Or was Courtney only this way because of what he had done to her? Duncan had no idea what was going on inside Courtney's head. But, inside his own, he just couldn't stop himself from wondering if there really was anything left for the two to rebuild on.

Courtney and Duncan; the two most stubbornness people anyone could meet. Neither was good at admitting their feelings. Their true feelings, anyway. Neither was willing to reach down, straight down to their hearts and knock down those ten foot high walls that surrounded their hearts.

A happy ending was far from the question at that point. Neither was going to receive it, neither deserved it if they wouldn't even talk with each other. It seemed so stupid and childish, but they both had their own, personal reasons.

Duncan and Courtney were never going to open up to each other. They would always be pretending to hate each other. It was never going to work between them; they were convinced the other hated the other. When, secretly, they both loved the other just as much they secretly loved them. Pretending's alright for a while, but then it just gets too out of hand.

How long do i fantasize
make believe that it's still alive
imagine that i am good enough
and we can choose the ones we love

Duncan took in another deep breath, shutting the open text book. It wasn't like he had been reading it anyway. It was only open for show, to make it seem like he had been doing something whilst he kept looking at and thinking about Courtney.

He just couldn't help but dream about what it would be like if they were still together. As if they had never broken up, or maybe even if Courtney took him back. He really hoped the fire was still alive, but it wasn't. It had died out long ago.

Duncan just wished he was good enough for Courtney. No one believed he was, including himself. However, Courtney had never let that bother her before. But now Duncan believed that she knew better than to go back to the same shit she had once been involved with.

If choosing the one you love was so hard, Duncan was sure he was never going to love again. It just hurt too badly in the end.

But i hold on, i stay strong
wondering if we still belong

Courtney's eyes looked up to not meet Duncan's. He was too busy packing everything away, not paying any attention to Courtney. That was a change. Normally Courtney would always find him staring at her, no doubt thinking about her when he wasn't.

Courtney knew how Duncan felt. She was trying her best to stay strong, when all she wanted to do was tell Duncan how she really felt. But she couldn't do that. Things were just too bad for her to do that. Courtney wanted to punish Duncan for what he had done, no matter how much it was hurting her too.

Maybe the two just weren't meant to be together. Maybe the fates were just working against them, but Courtney still wanted to give it another shot. Even if they did not belong together, another shot was what Courtney wanted. Of course, she was never going to admit to that, though.

As soon as Duncan had left the room, Courtney started packing up her own belongings. She may have been a top grade student, but she hadn't been able to concentrate on her studies for a while now. Duncan was just too distracting for her.

Courtney was not sure if she was able to knock the walls down that she had built around her heart. They were there to stop her from getting hurt again, but she wasn't sure that was such a good idea. The walls were crumbling by themselves. A little more with every time the two teenagers met in school, which was every day.

All girls just want that happy ending, but hardly anyone ever gets it. Courtney wanted to be one of the girls who did get it. If she got it, her life would be perfect. For the first time ever, her life would have been perfect. Perfect was all Courtney wanted.

Pretending they hated each other was harder than expected. They had done it so well before, so why was it so hard now? Maybe, just maybe, it was because they did actually have chemistry between them. But that seemed like a long shot for both of them.

Keeping secrets safe
every move we make
seems like no one's letting go
and it's such a shame
cause if you feel the same
how am i supposed to know

"Thanks." Courtney mumbled, sliding inside the classroom. Duncan gave a small smile, following in behind her. It was only opening the door, but it made Duncan feel better. It was only a small gesture, but now he felt better about himself, and about Courtney.

The secrets between them were unravelling slowly. The feelings they had for each other were slowly getting clearer and clearer. With every move made, it seems like they were slowly getting closer and closer. But neither was letting go of the tight hold they both had on their own feelings and safety.

It was such a shame that neither would be open to the other. It was a beautiful relationship that they were ruining the chances of. They both felt the same feelings for each other, but neither knew about it because no one would be open.

will we ever say the words we're feeling
reach down underneath and tear down all the walls
will we ever have a happy ending
or will we forever only be pretending
will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be (pretending)
will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be (pretending)
will we a-a-a-always a-a-a-always a-a-a-always be pretending

They just wanted to be open with each other. They both wanted the walls to fall down and be able to love each other the way they had used to. The way things were before was much better. But something had to go wrong. Duncan just had to cheat. And then everything was downhill from there...

Pretending to be not in love with someone you were in love with was hard, difficult. Everyone around them could see that they were faking it. Everyone could see they still loved each other, but they were just not going to ever admit it.

A/N: AWWW!

I love this song...I listen to it CONSTANTLY! Along with the others on the CD...LOL!

Pretending by Glee...One of the four original songs they have ever done :) I only like three of them...The other one they sang at Nationals doesn't really interest me...Light up the city? Isn't it? I'm not sure...It sounds too much like Loser Like Me for my liking...BUT! Anyway...

LOL!

I hope you like this... I have tried my best...I have been writing this and trying my best to write another chapter for my story Why High School Sucks...That is a lot of writing to do whilst also watching TV and trying to kick the cat from your room...LOL!

Thanks for watching, please review :)

Love, ChloeRhiannonX