Cocaine in her dresser drawer,
satisfaction ten minutes away,
just a sniff and she'll be blown away.
Child of Hollywood, just needs a friend,
a lonely girl's life made up of pretend,
always glassy -eyed with no means to an end.
Child of Hollywood,
in a red Porsche,
another sniff and everything's alright,
flies off a cliff on an endless flight,
alone at last,
without a friend or past,
Child of Hollywood,
alone at last.
Clarissa's hazel eyes flew over the delicate scrawl of letters that weaved over the fragile papers pale surface, her broken concentration flew through millions of shattered thoughts that battled restlessly amongst each other.
The words weren't from her hand, they where from another mind, a mind that read into her translucent thoughts.
Her shaken feelings gathered her reflections into one as if she was attempting to force a shattered mirror back to one whole from where it laid in glimmering shards, blinking wickedly at her from the ground.
The teenagers eyes hovered over the bundled white hospital sheets that obscured the slight figure that huddled beneath there comforting warmth, protecting the lone person from the dangers she had crossed paths with in the outside world of bitter reality.
Her rose petal lips parted once more, drawing in a deep paced breath from the cleansed room she sat in. Liquid honey rays of welcoming sun light trickled into the room, warming each shining surface with the light of day, fighting with the last of the shadows the darkness of the previous night had brought.
"Child of Hollywood." Clarissa exhaled the shallow breath she had taken into her sore lungs, feeling her heavy chest drop with the slight movement. She scanned the page once more effortlessly stroking its creased surface from the many times her weak hands had tightened crippling its fragile surface.
Her older sisters muffled breath fought to keep steady under the transparent oxygen mask that had been placed over her broken features, her glazed eyes refused to meet with the lone teenagers, her bruised eyelids fluttered closed ignoring the guilt tinged pain that coursed through her veins.
She knew what her younger sibling was thinking as she read the words she had repeated over a dozen times in the airy room, she herself knew them well enough to say the poem with her but couldn't bring herself to face the meaning that chimed in her smothered mind.
"It's about you." Clarissa knew her sister wasn't sleeping, she could see reactions twinge against the cuts that laced her beautiful face, the girl that had taken care of her now lay before her broken like a shattered porcelain doll.
She reached out a cool hand, gently tracing over the thick white bandage that had been wrapped over the flawless skin of her sisters arm. She didn't understand why she had done it, she couldn't figure out what or where her sisters thoughts had been.
"Teresa…" Clarissa announced her sisters name for the first time since seeing her sister in her current state, she had sat in silence drowned with disbelief refusing to call the still form her sister. She wasn't herself, only a mere shadow of the beautiful, fearless woman that protected her from the intrusive world.
A crystallised tear traced over the older girls pallid cheeks, stinging the cuts that decorated her features, knitting gruesome patterns around her perfect face. She knew there was barely any time to explain, but time wasn't enough to comfort her sister, they both knew what was going to happen.
Silence washed over the room as Clarissa watched her weakened sister rest in the place she had been restrained. Her timid mind traced back to the phone call that had summoned her to the hospital, the chief had called her personally notifying her of the horrific traffic accident that involved her only family.
Teresa Morgan had been beautiful, strong and fearless but as she grew older her mind grew wiser and weary to the fact that looks made life easier or harder. She felt the bitter strain of her peers battling to keep there appearance up to the high standards that where expected of them.
Her best friend had taken drugs, experimenting to help her aid her needs, she had told the vulnerable girl they made all the pain go away for a while, they gave a feeling of weightlessness, like floating above the world instead of being tied down to the cold merciless ground.
Teresa only found that the drugs didn't work and she suffered for it, she had built up a reputation that damaged the bonds she had with the young girl she had help bring up into the world. Her friend had lied to her, she had sabotaged Teresa's popularity only to take it for herself.
The girl didn't want her younger sister to mirror the mess she had become.
One fearful day after college had changed everything.
Teresa walked into her room to find her dear sister holding the tablets in her slender hand, a frown aged her youthful features, creasing her smooth skin with innocent confusion.
Teresa snatched the page from her sibling leaving the room without uttering a single word. Shame flowed from her skin as she shut herself in her car starting the engine.
Her frantic eyes hovered over the rear view mirror, tracing the small form of her sister standing alone in the buildings hollow doorway.
The girls mind fled through thoughts, hiding from guilt that tinged her mind. The pain she had seen in her sisters unknowing eyes stabbed at her, slicing her with her with the shame that she could only blame herself for.
The girl snatched at the translucent bag that sat beside her, she emptied the contents onto the vacant car seat.
Tears of bitterness slashed at her burning face as she tried to drown her sisters innocence from her. She swallowed each pill that her hand could grasp but it wasn't enough, nothing could release her from the weighted bounds she had tied around herself.
The girl turned scouring the seat for one last pill, one last try to make things disappear but nothing was there.
Before the girl even had a chance to look from the place she had crouched she heard the deafening car horn sound in the distance. Then everything went black, she could feel herself flying, wild air whipping at the bare skin of her face as she dived into the unknown.
Teresa opened her eyes feeling the air cool around her as she glanced around her surreal surroundings, the pain that had stiffened her muscles had left her, draining away from her along with the liquid honey sun rays.
The girl frowned staring at the sky that lifelessly hung above her, she turned to her side hoping to see her beloved sister watching over her with a smile instead of perpetual concern lacing her ageless features.
Teresa's heart thumped indifferently hammering against her tightened rib cage. She was alone in the new darkened world she had been plunged into, her angelic blue eyes studied the inky black sky that poured over her like a velveteen quilt softly tracing skin.
Dampened grass shaped around the her slim form as she laid over it's rich green texture, feeling close to the sodden earth that welcomed her in the eerie darkness.
Comforting voices echoed in the darkness, voices from the girls past, a pair that had left her when she was only ten, a male was laughing pleased as he recognised her. A lone female wept wishing for the girls younger sister to be okay.
"Mum…" Teresa's clear voice echoed in the darkness ceasing the tears that sobbed in the emptiness. "Dad?…" A tear ran from the girls eyes as she stood, raising a hand against the blinding light that glimmered in the distance drawing closer to her as she remained in her place. A smile curled her saddened lips.
Clarissa jumped from her seat at the sound of the monitor screeching in the honey coated room. "Not yet." The teenager shook her head frantically darting towards the motionless lone body that peaceful laid in the heavenly white sheets. "Not now.." A tear ran from Clarissa's hazel eyes as a strong arm pulled her away from the room, her vision clamped onto the fragile sheet of paper that flew through the air fluttering as it settled on the spotless floor.
Child of Hollywood. Alone at last…
"She only wanted people to accept her..."