It was a quiet morning on the bridge when McCoy approached Jim. There was a slight "pep in his step" as he took a sip from his coffee.
"Good coffee?" Jim asked taking a sip of his own.
"The best." McCoy replied. "Spock woke me up again in the middle of the night for fun stuff," McCoy whispered. "He's been doing that lately. He's not very spontaneous so it's pretty sexy when he just springs it on me."
"What do you mean 'again'?" Jim asked. He swiveled hard in his chair so they faced each other. "How many times has he done it?"
McCoy obviously hadn't realized this was much bigger news than he anticipated. He smiled as he shrugged.
"Oh, I dunno...twice this week? Three times last week?" Bones guessed. "It's like sex-roulette, you never know when you're gonna win."
"He's never woken me up for 'fun stuff', how come he only does it with you?" Jim asked him with a frown.
Bones continued to shrug while openly broadcasting a self-satisfied smile. It annoyed Jim and the he took his frustration out by whipping his seat around to glare at the back of his first officer's head. McCoy cocked an eyebrow as the Captain brooded, as if telepathically drilling his disapproval directly into the Vulcan skull.
"Are you jealous, Jim?" McCoy asked him in thick amusement.
"Of course I am, so would you if you were in my position." Jim replied. "Mr. Spock." he said sternly.
Spock looked up from his station and pushed his chair around with his legs.
"Yes, Captain?" Spock asked.
"Come here for a moment." Jim ordered him. "I want a word."
Spock obeyed the order and stood on the other side of Jim's chair. He popped an eyebrow in question as Jim stared him down, his discontent thick.
"Is there a problem, Captain?" Spock asked.
"Yes, I thought we agreed not to neglect one for the other in our relationship." Jim said softly.
Spock seemed to be waiting for further explanation as he patiently looked from Jim to the Doctor.
"He's talking about you, Spock." McCoy said. There was a traceable about of schadenfreude he reaped from seeing Jim upset with their Vulcan.
Spock was surprised by the accusation.
"Forgive me, Jim," Spock said quietly. "I was unaware you felt neglected. May I ask why?"
"You certainly may," Jim replied. "Bones says you've been waking him up for surprise sex." his eyebrows knit in distress. "Why haven't you ever approached me?"
"Oh." Spock mouthed without voicing the word. "It is not because I have a preference for him over you." Spock clarified.
"It certainly feels that way." Jim replied, still visually distressed.
"Jim," Spock said softly. He looked around the bridge before leaning in and whispering. "My affections for you and the Doctor are not in competition."
"Then why does McCoy get all the surprise, early morning sex?" Jim asked him.
"I thought the reasons would be obvious." Spock said. "I do not think it prudent to disrupt your sleep cycle. You have different responsibilities than the Doctor. You have a heavy influence over the success of our mission, I did not wish to jeopardize your performance- the results could be catastrophic."
In an instant the expressions of Jim and Bones were switched. Jim began to smile while McCoy's was replaced with a disgruntled frown.
"Are you saying the reason you wake me up instead of Jim… is because you think the work I do isn't as important?" McCoy whispered waspishly.
Spock leaned backward and folded his hands behind his back, his gaze sweeping the bridge silently.
"Spock I've sewn men split in half back together on this ship- including putting your brain back into your thick, Vulcan skull!" McCoy seethed, his whisper evolving into an uncomfortable pitch.
"I recall that as being an extenuating circumstance." Spock remarked quietly.
"Bones, keep your voice down." Jim mumbled.
"It's not like Jim is performing epic feats of captaining all day!' McCoy raged, hardly quieter. "Some days the most productive thing he orders is lunch while I slave away in sickbay!"
"Okay, that's enough you two." Jim said. "We're not having a fight here. We're on duty."
The bridge was unnaturally silent; no doubt their argument was being closely listened to by curious minds.
"Unbelievable." Bones snarled as he shook his head at Spock with disgust. "Un-fucking-believable."
"Doctor McCoy, report to sickbay." Jim ordered. "Spock and I will escort you." he remarked getting up from his seat.
Spock looked unhappy to be dragged away, but he did follow them as they entered the lift.
"Sickbay." Jim announced. The doors closed. "Bones, I know your pride is hurt, but a captain without his crew is nothing. Everyone on the ship is equally important."
"Oh sure, you believe that Jim." McCoy remarked. "But Spock doesn't."
"We'll talk about it privately." Jim said in a finalized tone. "I don't like having to leave my bridge because you two can't keep it civil."
The rebuke stilled some of McCoy's anger, at least until they entered an empty room in sickbay. Once the three of them were out of earshot from the public McCoy went off like a firework.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Spock?" McCoy raged.
"I could ask you the same question, Doctor." Spock remarked. "I find your reaction most illogical, I have enjoyed our sexual exploits thoroughly and you have indicated a similar appreciation- up till now."
"That's because I completely misinterpreted your actions," McCoy said angrily. "I didn't realize your sex-capades were motivated from a disrespect for my profession!" he snapped.
"This is getting out of hand, you both respect each other." Jim said.
"Quiet, Jim!" McCoy snapped. "Spock can fight his own battles- stop making excuses for him!"
Jim lifted his hands placidly in surrender.
"Doctor," Spock started. "You are taking offense where none is intended."
"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" McCoy snarled. "Spock, only you could come up with such a brainless and heartless reason to romance me. Goddamnit I thought you were having sex with me because you liked me!"
Spock let out a patient breath.
"Your insistence on emotionalism-" Spock started.
"-I was making love to you whether you understood that or not!" McCoy growled.
"Yes, Doctor- we are of one mind in that retrospect!" Spock replied in a hardened, loud voice. McCoy had finally hit his breaking point and made him lose his temper. "I love you. You make me say it so often even now I'm unsure if this is another one of your ploys to humiliate me."
McCoy licked his lips his anger draining.
"Well can't you say you love me every once in a while without me asking you to?" Bones prodded.
Spock took a moment to compose himself back into his calm, emotionless state. His face was flushing from his outburst.
"I will take your request under consideration." Spock said evenly.
The three of them stared at each other in a tense silence.
"Is everything okay now between you two?" Jim asked.
"...Yeah, I think so." McCoy said in a calmer voice folding his arms. "I'm sorry, Jim. I know you were only trying to help."
"It's alright, you were upset." Jim said. "Now let's get back to work."
"Doctor."
McCoy pressed his face on the other side of his pillow as Spock's hand slipped on his shoulder. He took in a deep breath as he felt his body being shaken awake.
"Hm?" McCoy groaned. It came out slightly croaky from disuse throughout his sleep.
"I love you." Spock whispered in his ear.
"Mmm." McCoy hummed. He covered Spock's hand with his own, patting it to let Spock know he had acknowledge the admission.
Spock's hand lingered on his shoulder for a few seconds longer before it slipped off. McCoy then felt the bed dip as Spock rolled over to Jim's side. Just as he was falling back asleep he heard Jim make a delighted moan, and the sounds of their kissing broke through the quiet of the room.
"You've doomed us all, Spock." McCoy couldn't help but tease him in the dark.