AN: This is my first Glee fanfiction. I started typing and it sort of took on a life of its own. There is smut hence the M rating and it's the first time I've ever written smut before and not too sure how it turned out. I've always had a thing for a Will/student relationship and most fanfiction I find is Will/Emma. I'm leaving the student in question up to your interpretation.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything related to it, I am not making any money off this work of Fanfiction.
This is the last time, it's always the last time until the next time. He keeps telling her they can't do this anymore, but he's too weak to resist. Too weak to stop himself from going back. He's engaged now and even if he wasn't it'd still be wrong, she's his student.
She never calls him Will, has never called him WIll because he must always remain Mr. Schuester to her. It's an invisible line they never crossed, could never cross because if they did it would mean something. It would make this mean more than it should, more than it is. It would blend these two worlds together, and they can't do that, must never do that. No matter how many times she lays spread out before him, underneath him, as he drives himself into her as hard and as fast as she needs, as he needs, that is a line they never cross.
Not even as he teases her into oblivion with his hands, breath, mouth, and tongue. Not even as she's begging him to enter her, to end this torment, not even as she grasps him with in her hands and tells him all the dirty things she's about to do just before her mouth envelops him and he can't see straight anymore.
Even if they have been in love, had confessed those things to each other. Even when they were exclusively seeing each other, she never said his name. Never called him by that. He never asked her to, and she never asked him if it'd be ok. She never said it, more for herself to make it easier. Make it easier to not slip up, to not call him by a name she was never meant to in the wrong situation, around the wrong people. A name she would only be able to call him behind closed doors, between his sheets.
He knows he's hurting her. She was the one to end this between them. It's the beginning of the school year she had ended things just before the summer started. He moved on from her to date Emma. She moved on from him to date others her own age, to date others who she could call by their first name, others who she could be seen out with. He was glad she was happy, he was happy, but there was something missing. Emma's mixed signals kept him frustrated. He couldn't help but be drawn back to her. She kept her own new relationships chaste. She just wasn't ready to be like that with anyone else. A part of her still longed for him, was still in love with him. She knew that they could never truly be happy together. Their relationship was one that would always have to remain in the shadows.
When he comes to her one day months after she had ended things for good, he looks so torn, so broken, and she can't deny him. She can't turn him away. She doesn't want to. She wants to take from him whatever he is willing to give. Mr. Schuester is her teacher after all and she must do what he says anyway.
For a while they are happy. Happy with this arrangement. They are not together anymore. They are both in relationships with other people but getting what they need from each other. They both continue on fucking and that's ok. Until she realizes she can't do this. She can't look Miss Pillsbury in the eye, she can't stay with her new boyfriend anymore. It's not fair because she realizes they shouldn't be doing this anymore. She breaks up with her boyfriend because the guilt of her actions weighs too heavily upon her. She breaks up with him because she knows she's still in love with someone else. She tells Mr. Schuester it's over. She tells him he can't keep coming to her like this. It's wrong and unfair, and she just can't anymore.
It is hard for him to hear. It's hard because he knows It's true, knows what its doing to her. He sees how sad she is, how hurt, how conflicted torn and broken she is. He knows he should stop it, leave her be and let her move on from him. He knows all of this because he is with Emma and he shouldn't be cheating on her, if she ever knew, she would be just as broken. He knows all of this because she is his student. He knows this because he's in love with her and he knows that they can never truly be together.
He doesn't want to hurt the people he loves, the people he cares about and that is what he is doing. He wants her to be happy. She is his student and it is his job to make sure she succeeds but all he is doing is setting her up for failure over and over again. He wants her to be happy, he wants her to move on, but he won't let her, a part of him doesn't want to let her go. A part of him wants her to never move past him. He was her first, her first for many things. He knows that she will never forget him that she couldn't even if she tried. Knowing that didn't make it any easier for him to see her sitting in Glee with some other boy's arm around her. He's glad she broke it off, it makes it easier for him.
He knows this has to end he knows he has to stop coming to her but he knows that she won't refuse him. He knows that no matter how much she protests, how much she tells him to leave that she will give in to him the moment his hands touch her skin. The moment his lips make contact with hers, she will melt away and she will pull him inside, and all thoughts of protest will have fluttered away. He knows all of this because he knows she wants him just as much as he wants her.
He has taken her in his apartment, his office, his car, her own bedroom while her parents were away. He knows his way around her house, and often finds himself at her doorstep. She never fails to let him inside. He shows up one afternoon, he thought her parents were gone for the weekend but he was wrong. Her parents answer the door, and seem confused as to why he is there. He comes up with an excuse quickly enough, something about Glee, and they allows him inside. They tell him their daughter is in her room and provide him directions. He pretends to listen he already knows the way, already knows which door belongs to her and just how many steps it would take to get to her bed.
Her parents are concerned about her. She's been so distant lately, they don't know why. They cancelled their trip to keep an eye on her this weekend to see if they could find out what was wrong. They tell him this and he assures them she's ok.
He knows he needs to end this, because it is eating away at her, eating away at him. He knows he should stop coming to her like this, knows this because he bought a ring and is going to propose to Emma. Even now as he stands before her in this room, the ring burning a hole in his pocket he can't tell her. He can't stop himself. She tells him to go away and that she's fine, but he sees the tears on her pillow, and the streaks down her face. She tells him her parents are home he shouldn't be here like this.
This is the most dangerous thing he has ever done. He can't stop himself from crossing her room to sit beside her on the bed. Her parents are just downstairs. He tries to console her but she is angry at him. She keeps her voice down. She doesn't want her parents to hear. He tries to tell her but he's too afraid, too afraid of what it would mean of how she would react so he doesn't. In this moment he can't stop himself. The door is closed but not locked, her parents are downstairs. They keep their voices down as they argue, but the moment his hand slips underneath her shirt, she falls back. She tries to protest weakly, weakly because she wants this, weakly because she doesn't want to say no. This is dangerous he knows this, but her hand slides over his thigh, and its all over.
Her parents never come upstairs, never come by her room. They trust him; they shouldn't. He tells her again that this is the last time. They can't do this again. She agrees and tells him to go away she wants to be alone. As he walks downstairs, her parents appear before him. They ask him how she's doing and what's wrong. He tells them its nothing to worry about she'll be ok.
He doesn't tell them he just fucked their daughter. He doesn't tell them how he held his hand over her mouth to make sure her screams weren't heard. That he had to muffle her moans. He doesn't tell them how he removed her clothing as her hands unbuttoned his jeans and slipped inside. He doesn't tell them he bit down hard on her shoulder to stop the scream from ripping through his throat as he came. He doesn't tell them that she's hurting because of him. He doesn't tell them he is the cause of this change in her. He slips out the door and climbs into his car.
Things are tense between them. People start to notice. The wrong people. When they are at school in Glee. Everyone can see something is not quite right here, but they can't figure it out. They can't define it, but something is different. They know she has been acting less like herself. They think it has to do with the several failed relationships lately. They don't think much of it. They songs she sings are always slightly off putting because they seem to be directed at Mr. Schuester. She can't seem to stop herself from looking at him while she's singing them. She tries hard to keep her gaze from lingering to long, but she fails. Just as he fails to break the eye contact she establishes with him during the songs, and just as he fails to keep the guilt and sadness from showing through on his face.
They are good at keeping secrets though and any lapse in that is quickly covered up. She lies effortlessly to those she calls her closest friends, she has been lying to them for the past 2 years anyway. She just tells them her songs aren't about anyone in particular. She just says she's upset about how she can't seem to get over her past relationships. She lies and says she's ok. They ask more direct questions like what's up with you and Mr. Schue. She tenses for a second and just says they had an argument the other day over some song in Glee. They aren't sure if they should believe her especially with the way Mr. Schuester was watching her performances so they ask him.
He lies to them and just says it's nothing, says she had asked him for a solo and he turned her down. They believe him because it makes sense, they walk out of his office and he releases the breath he was holding. He was glad they didn't notice the pair of panties on the floor by his desk, glad they didn't see his mild panic as they stepped into his office just as he realized they were on the floor. It's silly he thinks because how would they know who they belonged to. For all they know they could be Emma's but then with their line of questioning that followed their entrance into his office he realized they had started to notice too.
She finally cuts him off. Finally says no and means it, finally puts a stop to this. He is relieved because he knows this is wrong and knows that he didn't quite have the strength to stop it. He needed her to resist him fully. He needed her to stop him, to tell him she couldn't do this anymore and fully believe it. He needed her to remove that chance for him to slip inside her world. He knows she is struggling hard to say no, to stop this, to keep him on the outside. He knows it's not what she really wants. He knows this because he can see it in her eyes but she's not giving in and when he puts a hand on her shoulder she shoves him away. She explains all the reasons this must stop. He agrees and apologizes over and over for being so weak that he didn't stop this sooner. She apologizes too for being too weak to stop from giving in to him every time he came back.
Things begin to return to normal on the outside, where everyone can see. Her eyes don't linger on him as she sings songs in glee. She seems to be happier, to be doing better, and he thinks she's getting over him. Weeks pass and they have no interaction outside of school or Glee related get togethers. This is a good thing and although Emma's still sending him mixed signals in the bedroom he finds other ways to relieve himself. He tells himself it's ok to think of her while he strokes himself to completion in the bathroom. It's ok to think about her spread out before him on the bed he shares with Emma now, wet, panting, wanting, and telling him to touch her, tell him to slip his fingers inside her, telling him she needs him now as his lips close around a nipple and he pushes himself inside her.
He was never meant to have her. He should never have had her and he tries to think of the moment that this happened. Tries to remember precisely where she slipped inside his world. He realizes he can't pinpoint a single moment because it feels wrong, and this started way before he first kissed her. He pushes the thoughts aside because he has finally worked up the courage to ask Emma to marry him. He hasn't quite worked up the courage to her yet though, so he doesn't and proceeds to tell her along with the entire Glee club.
She does not take it well. She doesn't like the fact that he has told her like this, she felt she deserved better from him. He should have told her first, let her hear it and get over the shock of it in the privacy of his office, or her home, or wherever he would have told her. Now she is forced to fake happiness as she is crushed and confused on the inside. She knew this was coming though, she knew he was with her and wasn't going to break up with her. He was in love with Emma, it was just a matter of time. She felt betrayed that he didn't tell her. That he let her find out this way.
He could see she wasn't taking it well. It wasn't long before her faked smile slipped from her face and she bolted out of the room as slowly as she could. She had gone up to congratulate him with the rest of the glee club. She let her arms slip around him with false declarations of happiness. She whispered to him that she just couldn't do this before she let her arms fall away from him. She tried not to let them see she was upset by this. Tried not to let him see the tears she couldn't quite stop as she brushed passed him out the door. No one else seemed to notice, or if they had they didn't think much of it. She takes her time in the hall to calm down and regain her composure. He wants to go after her. He wants to run out into the hall find her and explain, try to make it better. He can't because there is a room full of other students, his other glee kids, and it would be too suspicious for him to bolt out the door to follow her.
She reenters about 5 minutes and 22 seconds later. He is relieved she is back but her smile looks too forced and he can see the slightly red tint her eyes have taken on. He knows what is going to come after Glee ends and the rest of the students file out. He knows she is going to stay after. He knows she's going to let him know how she really thinks of this whole proposal. She doesn't.
He doesn't chase her down after Glee either. He just lets her go and thinks maybe she has accepted it but he can't shake the feeling that is just a lie he is telling himself. The next day she has gathered her courage to face him to confront him. So when he pulls her aside into his office she unloads everything she had wanted to the moment he told the Glee club he was proposing to Emma.
She yells at him, telling him he should have told her first, he should never have let her find out in front of the Glee club like that. He should have told her in a place where it would have been safe for her to break down. He owed her that much and he failed. He failed her spectacularly in so many ways. She deserved more from him but he found just another way to disappoint her. Her words stung him. He tried to apologize to her for being a coward again for being too afraid to tell her, too afraid to see her break apart like this. She told him she couldn't help him propose to Ms. Pillsbury. She couldn't find a song perfect for their love, for the moment because it would be too false, too much of a lie.
She went to the door about to leave but he stopped her, put his hand on the door to prevent her from opening it. She froze for a moment unsure of what was about to happen. He could see her tense and as he put his arm around her and let his hand slide to the lock on the door. She turned around to face him. Her eyes locked on his and she could how sorry he was, how much he hated hurting her. He could see she understood. She just let the words we can't do this not anymore slip from her lips as her hands found the buckle on his jeans, and his hands slid up her waist under her shirt.
Sam comes up with an idea of how Mr. Schue should propose to Ms. Pillsbury. As he explains to the club Sam's idea he glances towards her. Sees how she's smiling and going along with it, sees how she seems genuinely happy but he knows she's not. He had only just fucked her 2 days ago in his office, after listening to her tell him she couldn't be a part of this. She learns the song and the dance moves, and everything anyway. She has to keep up appearances. She doesn't want to perform, she doesn't want to see him ask her to marry him, she doesn't want any of it and he hates that she is forced to.
Shortly before they are about to begin the performance, shortly before he is about to get Emma so he can propose to her she comes to him. She's upset, she tells him she can't do this, she can't sing and dance and put a smile on her face as she watches him do this. She can't be there to see that, it would hurt too much. She's still in love with him. It's a moment of weakness and he pulls her to him. She can't hold the tears back and he tells her he's still in love with her too. Her face is buried in his chest and his arms have wrapped tightly around her, one had at her waist the other threaded through her hair.
She draws strength from him in this moment. Draws as much as she can. She dries her eyes and apologizes. She knows he loves her, knows she loves him, but she knows they can't be together. They have to let each other go. She needs to let him propose and she needs to be there to support him. He tells her if she can't be there it's ok, they'll just think of some excuse to tell the others. She shakes her head and tells him she has to see him do this, she can use the pain of it to move on. He pulls her back towards him and tells her how sorry he is and how much he wishes he never hurt her.
They perform and she is there. She is watching as he falls down on one knee and asks Emma to marry him. After she says yes, the Glee club cheers happily. Everyone is smiling and they go over to congratulate the newly engaged couple. She offers her own to the them before she slips out the door. He excuses himself and finds her. She tells him she can't, she needs time, and she wants him to be happy. He lets her walk away without a word to stop her.
Her parents become more worried about her. The distant they felt from her before had started to lessen a few weeks ago. Now she seems farther away than ever. She keeps to herself mostly and tells them shes fine. Tells them shes just sad over her lack of a love life, and that she wishes she hadn't screwed things up with her last boyfriend he's already moved on and dating someone else. She tells them she's just a bit stressed out and has a ton of homework and preparing for regionals is taking up a lot of her time. They don't fully believe her and call Mr. Schuester. They express their concerns to him and think he may know something, or if he doesn't that he could find out. They know they've been close and she confides in him. They ask him to come over and talk to her.
He is surprised they have called, surprised that they want him to come over. This worries him. He's afraid he hasn't seen how deeply this is affecting her or just how much it is hurting her. He can't refuse their offer, can't tell them no. If he says no, he feels they will find out their secret. If he says no they will suspect that he is to blame, suspect that he has crushed their daughter, done something to her and that's why she is like this now. They wouldn't be wrong, but he can't let them find out. He tries to figure out what to say to her, what he's going to do once he gets there. He is unsure if her parents are going to be hovering, listening in on whatever they talk about. He has to be careful. He knows she doesn't want to see him.
He arrives an hour later at her house. He sits in the driveway for 15 minutes debating whether he should go to the door or not. He isn't sure if his presence here will help or hurt her but he has to go in her parents are expecting him. He knocks on the door and the answer almost too quickly. They escort him up to her room this time though. She hears the knock on her door and tells them to go away. She's not feeling well and just wants to be left alone but then she hears his voice. She hears them tell her Mr. Schuester is here to see her.
He's standing on the other side of her door, with her parents asking her for permission to enter. All he can think about in this moment is how strange that is and if her parents only knew just what he's done on the other side of this door, they might not be so eager to have him enter. She tells him to come in. They exchange pleasantries as her parents stand by watching before making themselves scarce. The door stays open.
He fidgets awkwardly before her. She is laying in her bed while he remains standing frozen by the doorway. She looks so small from his viewpoint, so tired, so utterly shattered and he can't help but feel responsible. He knows it's his fault she is like this. She looks over at him tells him to take a seat on the bed and shut the door. So he turns around pushing the door closed before taking the few steps to her bed. She slides over making room for him to sit.
The silence is getting to him. She's just laying there watching him. He's not facing her but he knows she is, can feel her eyes on him. He tells her, her parents called him, tells her they are worried, tells her everything they said to him over the phone. She doesn't say anything just continues to watch him. She waits for him to finish talking. She takes a few more moments before she speaks, before she tells him it was harder than she thought it would be to watch him propose. Tells him she needs him to move on from her. He needs to let her go if she's going to have any chance of moving past this.
She sits up and he feels her shifting around on the bed behind him. He feels her weight leave the bed. He can't face her yet. Her words are slowly sinking in and he's not sure if his face betrays him. He can't look at her, can't let her know that all he can think about right now is how much he loves her and how much he wants to be between her legs and pumping into her with everything he has; how much he wants her to let her nails sink into his back because it's the only thing she can hold on to.
The next thing he knows he hears the click of the lock. She has made her way around to the front of him and over to the door. When she turns to face him he catches her eyes and sees everything he was just thinking reflected back at him. She walks calmly over to him before crawling back onto the bed beside him. She pulls him to lay down with her. He doesn't refuse, can't refuse. She tells him all she wants is just to lay in his arms for a little while. He obliges her shifting so he is on his back, and she falls into his side, under his arm. He presses her close to him as she allows her head to rest on his chest and her arm to lay across him.
He lays there with her for a while and tries not to let his thoughts drift to far into the gutter. She breaks his train of thought when she allows her hand to drift. As she lets it slide over his chest and down his stomach, she tells him they can't do this anymore. She tells him it's not fair. That it's wrong. That he's her teacher. That he's engaged now. That they can't be in love. That their relationship is over and has been over. They never should have allowed it to start in the first place. They need to stop.
He catches her hand just as she grips the bottom of his shirt, ready to untuck it from his pants. He is hard, unbelievably hard but he needs to stop this. He knows she is testing him, knows she's just pushing him like this because she wants him to reject her now, needs him to. She wants him to tell her no and push her away, and destroy any hope that they can keep doing this, She's watching him waiting to see what he will do next, waiting to hear what he will say to her now.
He wants to tell her what she needs to hear but the words catch in his throat as he lets go of her hand. He needs a moment to breathe a moment to catch up with his thoughts so he can give voice to the words he needs to say. She isn't giving him that chance. She is moving away from him. The arm that was around her slides off as she sits up. He isn't sure if he is relieved she is moving away or more concerned. He doesn't have much time to think about it before she is suddenly straddling him.
She tells him this has to stop as she presses her core tightly against him. It sends a surge through his body his hands instinctively fly to her hips. He grips her hard enough to still her movements. He wants nothing more than to grind up into her harder, before completely ridding himself and her of the layers that keep them apart. Everything feels too hot and too constricting. He can't think straight and her words are taunting him. He knows he should stop her, he knows this needs to stop. It's something they've been telling each other for months but can't seem to follow through.
She begins a slow rhythm the grip he had on her hips has lightened allowing her some freedom to move. She rocks back and forth over him, he is so painfully hard and he knows she can feel it. He doesn't push her away he pulls her closer and thrusts up into her. She leans down allows her lips to lightly trace over his collar bone up his neck, he cheek towards his lips before she slides them away just before he kisses her, slides them back across his cheek to his ear and the whispers to him. Whispers they should stop they shouldn't be doing this because it's wrong, but she's so wet it's uncomfortable and he's so hard. Whispers she wants to feel him hard and pulsing inside her, but they should stop now, her parents are just downstairs.
He thinks for a brief moment that the mention of her parents being downstairs should have an opposite affect on him. It should cause him to soften, but it does nothing but make him harder, make him let out a strangled moan, as she punctuates it with a particularly hard thrust down upon him. He can't think straight all he wants is to rip the clothes from her and fuck her senseless. His grip on her tightens and he flips them over so quickly she isn't entirely sure what just happened.
She's looking up at him as he lays between her legs pressing against her as hard as he can. He's fighting with himself, fighting between his need for release, and her need for him to stop this. He leans down and captures her lips, it is slow at first but quickly builds up to something much more frenzied. He breaks away and tells her they can't do this anymore. He tells her it's wrong, he's engaged, and repeats all of the reasons they know why this can't happen. He pushes himself up and off her. It hurts and he doesn't want to. He needs to leave the room he needs to get out of this house, but he can't move, can't quite walk yet. He's still too hard and wound up.
She's laying there watching him again. She doesn't make any movements towards him. She's not sure what he is going to do next. Her turns towards her and tells he's going to leave. Tells her this is not going to happen again, tells her he's going to leave. That is when she sits up and wraps her arms around him. She presses his face into the space between his shoulder blades. She tells him she's going to be ok, it's just going to take her some time to get there. She tells him not to worry about her. His hands slide up to grip her arms and press them tighter into his chest.
He lets go of her arms, and she lets them fall back to her sides. He stands up confident that her parents won't notice the bulge in his pants or the fact that he may be walking a little strangely. She doesn't say anything until he reaches her door. She tells him she needs time and space and he needs to give it to her. He needs to let her move on. He opens the door and steps into the hall. He has to face her parents next and he isn't sure he's quite ready to do that, isn't sure if he can lie right now.
After he reaches the bottom of the stairs, they appear before him and ask how it went. Ask if she has told him anything. He isn't sure what to say. He tells him she is just stressed over school and glee. Tells them she just needs some time to set herself straight but not too worry. Tells them all the lies he can to try to convince them of it, convince himself of it. They can see the worry in his face though and he tells a half truth. Tells them she was upset over his recent engagement. Told them she just confessed having feelings for him. They seemed shocked but he rushes to tell them not to say anything to her; he promised her he wouldn't tell. They assure him they won't say anything. He walks out the door and drives away. He didn't notice she had slipped out of her room and hid at the top of the stairs while he spoke to her parents.
The following day at school she seems much better than she has lately. Much better than she has been since the proposal. She smiles at him in the hall and it is not sad or forced. It's genuine and he can't help but return it.
He thinks he has finally made the right choices in regards to her. He was able to stop himself, to give her what she needed from him. He thinks about how he should have done this from the start. Things go back to normal between them, or at least what should have been normal for them. They are strictly teacher and student, and keep their interactions to a minimum. He thinks this is what she wants, what she needs. As the weeks go by she seems better happier but he can't help the nagging feeling that she is just putting on a show. He can't help but think maybe she is just pretending so that everyone will stop worrying about her and leave her alone. She told him to give her time and space, and just to let her move on. That is what he is doing, or at least trying to do but that nagging feeling won't leave him alone. It isn't until he sees her in the hallway before Glee practice flirting with some boy. Allowing him to slide his hand over her cheek to push a lock of hair behind her ear that he decides to check in on her.
She notices he is acting a bit off during practice that day and as much as she wants to know why she knows she can't ask him. She knows if she does then this fragile line she has drawn will be broken. She can't allow that. It wouldn't be fair to either of them when they are both finally moving on and letting go of this thing between them. Practice ends and everyone begins packing up their things just as she is. She isn't expecting him to stop her from leaving and asking her to stand behind for a moment. She tenses and hopes no one else has noticed, she doesn't want to stay behind, alone with him. She knows if she does something is going to happen.
He can see the conflict raging in her eyes. He can see she wants to go but at the same time wants to stay. It is in that moment he realizes this is mistake she's not as over it or as ok as she seems. He's regretting it but he can't take it back now and the rest of the club has just walked out the door. He waits a few moments to make sure everyone is gone before he speaks. He asks her how she is doing. She tells him she's fine and that she doesn't want to talk about this with him anymore. That she can't it's still too soon and she needs more time. She's pleading with him with her eyes. Pleading with him to end this conversation and let her walk out the door she's so close to breaking.
He can't something won't let him and he lets it slip that he saw her before practice. Her eyes flash with anger for a moment before she laughs. She tells him he needs to get over it, that he needs to let her move on, because it isn't fair. She tells him he can't expect her too sit around and not date other people. He tries to tell her he knows that, tries to convince himself that he's ok with that. She knows he's lying and knows that he can't stand seeing her with someone else because she feels the same way but she has no choice. He's going to marry Emma, so he has no choice but to see her dating other people. She tells him this and walks out the door.
She avoids him the next day. He knows this because the moment he spots her in the hall she is always in the process of turning around and going the other way. She makes up some excuse for why she can't come to Glee practice that afternoon and tells Puck to let everyone know. He knows it's an excuse the moment it leaves Puck's mouth, he excuses himself from the room but tells them to work on their assignment for the week. He's going to look for her, he tells himself he shouldn't, but he wants to fix this between them. He wants her to be able to come to Glee club and not let this interfere with that. As he thinks about what he's going to say to her, he catches a glimpse of her turning the corner. He quickens his pace and as he rounds the corner that's when he sees her pressed up against the lockers. That boy from the day before is kissing her and letting his hands slide up under her shirt. He's frozen and not sure what to do. He is torn between his duty as a teacher to stop this from happening in the halls and himself as her ex, as the man she's still in love with, the man who is supposed to be leaving her alone, giving her time and space to move on.
He's still struggling with this decision as she opens her eyes and they land on him. She doesn't stop the boys hands from traveling around her body. She doesn't stop him from kissing her neck. She just moans and encourages him to keep going. She runs her hands over his chest, down his back, through his hair, before settling on his pants. She pulls him closer into her body as leans back against the lockers. He helps her lift her legs and secure them around his waist pushing himself tighter against her core. Her eyes remained locked on Mr. Schuester's, she lets out a deep moan.
He knows she is putting on a show for him, this is payback. He deserves this, but it doesn't make it any easier to watch. They her eyes stay locked on his he knows what she's thinking, knows that she wishes this was him between her legs, wishes that this was him pinning her to the lockers. He doesn't want to watch this anymore, but he can't look away. He can't move his legs they won't listen to the commands he is giving them.
Despite it all he's getting hard. He's imagining himself in that boys place. It's not to hard he knows how she feels, knows what she would feel like wrapped around him like that. The boys grinds up as she grinds herself down onto him and tears a groan from her. He hears the boy tell her to say his name. Tells her he wants to hear her moan it as he touches her like this. His hand slides up under the skirt she is wearing and he watches her breath hitch. He tells her again, but her eyes are locked on him, and her thoughts are cloudy. She moans the wrong name to this boy. He hears his name, he hears her say Mr. Schuester in a way he hasn't heard her voice speak his name in weeks.
This wakes him up from his frozen state his legs finally begin to move but he doesn't go towards them to break up this show. Instead he retreats to the boys bathroom where he slips himself out of his jeans. He figures the boy won't want to continue this after she moaned his name in the middle of that. Hearing his name has made him hard enough that he doesn't think he can will his erection away to make it back to Glee so he has to help it along. Though this time he tries to think of Emma, tries to imagine her pressed up against the locker while he relentlessly grinds into her letting his hands slip up under her skirt while she moans his name but Emma's face keeps transforming into hers and her voice keeps moaning Mr. Schuester, not Will like Emma should; he comes hard panting. Once he catches his breath he cleans himself up before making his way back to the choir room. He hasn't been gone as long as he thought. It seemed an eternity but it had only been about 10 minutes.
The following day at school he doesn't notice if she is avoiding him. He doesn't notice because he is avoiding her. He is seeking alternate routes around the school between his classes. He hides away as much as he can in Emma's office. He tells himself he is not hiding here, merely spending time with the woman he loves and is going to marry.
As he's leaving her office he bumps into a student. He wasn't paying attention as he stepped out the door and quickly begins to apologize. That's when he notices the student is the same boy from yesterday. They make eye contact and the boy realizes who has just bumped into him and he seems to become nervous. He accepts the apology tells him it's ok and not to worry about it, and yes he's ok. He diverts his eyes as he says all this and offers his own apology for not paying attention either and then offers a quick thanks for not busting him yesterday before darting off. He realizes then that she must have told him they had been caught or maybe she didn't have to and he had seen him retreating around the corner. Either way he was grateful when the school day ended. No Glee practice meant he could leave early and go home. He wouldn't have to wonder if she'd show up or come up with another excuse to miss practice.
She was the first person he saw when he arrived at school the next day. She offered a cheerful good morning to him and Emma as she continued on her way towards her first class. He didn't see her again until Glee practice. She paid attention to everything he said and cheered her fellow members on who performed. He wanted to pull her aside, but he didn't and when practice was over he let her walk out the door. He didn't ask her to stay behind. He knew he shouldn't and when she offered him a small smile and a see you later Mr. Schue, he could do nothing more than smile back and tell her the same.
The next few days go on and things are normal. He sees her in the halls with that boy. She's moving on and as much as it kills him he is happy. Happy that she is getting over him. So for now he pushes that part of himself that wants to remove that boys arm from her shoulders down. He ignores that part of himself telling him to go over to her and pull her away. It's wrong and they can't be together, he's engaged and in love with someone else, someone he's allowed to love. He tells himself this is a good thing. They need to get past this. Things continue on like this. They go back to normal. She can be around him without feeling so hurt. He can see her with another boy and not have to convince himself this is for the best and no he shouldn't go over there. It's not until a few weeks later that he screws up again. He lets that voice inside him that he has pushed so far back resurface. He lets it convince him to do something stupid.
It's Tuesday, the school day has just started. He hears Puck talking to Finn, saying something about her parents are gone for the week and they should have a party. He keeps walking. The nagging voice comes back and tells him he should see her. She'll be alone, it's Tuesday Emma will be home late. He thinks it's a bad idea, she seems to be moving on, she seems happy, but he has to make sure. He shouldn't go but he's already made up his mind the moment he heard her parents were out of town. The rest of the day is a blur and he finds himself in his car driving towards her house.
He pulls into her driveway and it hits him, he shouldn't be here this is wrong. It's wrong and he doesn't care. He wants to be here, he needs to be here. He makes his way to her front door, and he isn't sure if she'll let him inside. He's nervous, nervous of what this means and what he's about to do. He knocks once, twice, by the third knock he hears her voice announcing she'll be there in a sec. He isn't prepared for what comes next. He wasn't expecting her to be like that. She opens the door, she's wrapped in a robe and her hair is wet. She's unsure, surprised, confused. She asks him what he's doing there and he just can't remember why. He says it's Tuesday, Emma won't be home until late.
I can't, we can't do this. This is over, I thought this was over. You're engaged. He's still standing outside the door. She's telling him all these things again. She's not over it, she hasn't moved passed it yet like he thought. He tells her he knows. He knows he's engaged, he knows it's wrong, but he can't stay away anymore. Her hands are clutching his shirt pulling him inside before he finishes his last sentence. Shortly after that her robe is pooled at her feet and she's making quick work of the buttons on his shirt. She's impatient, there are too many buttons she tells him, he removes her hands from his shirt and pulls it over his head.
Things are moving fast, faster than he can process, faster than he expected. He tells himself he didn't come here for this. He tells her he didn't come here for this, she just smiles and calls him a liar. She knows he's lying because she's been lying. She's been pretending every thing's fine, that she's over it. She tells him this between heated kisses. She tells him this as her hands roam his now bare chest, She tells him this as she allows his hands to slide from her neck down her arms and back up. She tells him this is wrong and they can't do it again. She tells him this is the last time, they just need this chance to say good bye, to put it behind them. She tells him this just as she frees his belt from the buckle, as she drops to her knees pulling his pants down as she goes.
His hands press down into her shoulders for balance as he steps out of the pants. Her hands slid up his legs to rest on his waist, tracing light circles above the waistband of his boxer. Her eyes were level with the bulge growing beneath the thin fabric. He just watched her, waited for her next move. He could feel her breath through the material of his boxers making him grow harder. She leaned up kissing his hip bone before trailing kisses lower, by passing where he wanted it most, continuing her way down to his thighs. She could feel his heat, he had slid his hands into her hair. He needed something to hold on to, something to keep him steady. Her hands slid up through the bottom of his boxers, ghosting lightly over him as they made their way to the waistband. He couldn't stop the slight moan or the shudder that followed her actions. She began sliding them down slowly almost painfully too slow for his liking. He didn't stop her or speed up the process, he let his head fall back and tried to focus on remaining upright.
She released them after dragging them past his knees. They fell effortlessly towards the floor. She slid her hands up the back of his legs until they reached his waist. Faster than he could process her mouth engulfed him. His legs went weak. He could feel her tongue working it's way around him. He was finding it more and more difficult to stand and realized the only reason he still was, was because he was leaning so heavily on her. She looked up to meet his gaze as she let him slip almost completely from her mouth. She stopped when his head was the only piece trapped between her lips. She let her tongue swirl and stroke around it, as she gave him one long hard suck. It was almost enough to send him over the edge tearing a deep groan from him as he couldn't help but thrust into her mouth.
He realizes she has all the control right now, and he can't take that he doesn't want that, he needs to be in control of himself. He needs to slow her down, because if he doesn't it will be over too soon and this is the last time. She told him they needed to say good bye. He agrees, they can't do this not again, and if this is the last time he needs to stop her, needs to slow her down. He wants this to last. He lets his hands shift to thread through her hair, holds her head in place and removes himself from her mouth.
She begins to stand and he helps her. She begins kissing him again, it's hot and wet and he can taste himself on her tongue. She presses herself into his body, he urges her to lean against him. He realizes just how much he has missed this, how much he has wanted this. His hands find her breasts and he rolls her nipples between his fingers. She moans into his mouth and he begins backing her up towards the wall.
Once her back connects to the wall he presses a knee between her legs. He can feel how wet she is, she grinds herself down against his knee. Her hands find their way into his hair, and he can't slow this down anymore. His hands find her thighs and he lifts them up, urging her to wrap them around him. He tells her he's been wanting to do this, wanting to push her against a wall and take her for all she's worth, wanting this since he saw her with that boy against the lockers. She moans as he thrusts against her. He is hot and throbbing and so deliciously hard against her. She moans because his words, his confession is too much, too much to understand when all she can do is feel this heat, feel this frenzy, this need for him to be inside her.
His hand slips between them, he's no longer kissing her lips but suckling on her neck, letting his tongue slide down her chest before he begins circling a nipple. He lets his tongue swirl around it but never claiming it, never sliding over it's peak and she is writhing, panting, heaving her chest towards him. She's distracted and that's what he wants, his fingers find her center. She's so wet so hot, he drives a finger into her punctuating it with his lips closing around her peak, letting his teeth lightly graze her. She cries out, and her fingers dig hard into his hair, and its all so perfect all so wrong. He pumps into her slowly at first, teasing her, his mouth is working her across her breast leaving her nipples hard and swollen and so sensitive from his touch.
He can smell her and it sends a twinge through him. He is hard harder than he's been in a while, He isn't sure how much longer he can keep from pushing himself inside her. He needs to, he can't let this end yet. He slips another finger inside her and watches her face contort in pleasure as a moan escapes her lips. He lets his thumb find her clit and he rubs against it. It's all too much for her and he watches as she comes undone before him. He feels her clenching around his fingers. It sends a pleasurable shock straight through him. He lets her ride out her orgasm before he lets his fingers slide out of her. She's panting, but far from done. She wants more. She meets his eyes and they are darkened by lust darkened by this want they share, she watches as he brings his fingers towards his mouth. She watches has his tongue slides out and he's tasting her, letting his tongue lick his fingers clean, lets them slip inside his mouth sucking hard until every last trace of her is savored and swallowed. He wants to taste more of her.
She is still pinned to the wall, her legs wrapped tightly around him, he is pressed up against her core and it would be so easy for him to slide in. He doesn't. He wants this to last. He kisses her. Kisses her as hard as he can, lets his teeth catch her bottom lip and bites down not hard, not hard enough to bruise, not hard enough to hurt her, but hard enough to send a jolt straight to her core and she tastes herself on him. She moans grinding herself into him. He can't help but grind back up into her. His hands fly to her hips and he keeps her still.
He lets his tongue wander down her neck, down her breast over her stomach. She doesn't think she can stand, but he's holding her up, taking her legs and unwinding them from around him. He sets them on the floor and kneels down before her. He spreads her legs and helps her lift them, helps her place them over his shoulders and she can't think straight. His face is so close and she can feel his breath. It's cool against her heated skin and she's so wet. He wants to taste her, taste her straight from her core.
He takes a moment to just breathe her in, takes a moment to let her anticipation build. He takes a moment before he lets his glide slowly from the bottom of her slit to the top. She is breathing hard, and her fingers are threading through his hair. She's pinned to the wall, and he knows she is only staying upright with his help. He repeats the motion taking long, slow, deliberate strokes over her before she is begging him for something more, he lets his tongue delve inside her as far as it can go. She is pushing his face deeper into her and grinding up into him.
She's asking for more she's quickly reaching her peak again. He knows she's close by the way her fingers grip his hair and the strangled moans coming from her throat. She slides his tongue to her clit lets it swirl around before he closes his lips around it and sucks hard. She bucks into him and her scream is loud. She's reached her edge and been pushed over it again. He lets his tongue lap at her as she tries to catch her breath.
Please Mr. Schue, please. I need this I need you. The words drift to his ears and he's standing up again. Letting her legs fall to his waist. He can't wait anymore he needs to be inside her just as much as she needs him wants him to be. She's barely recovered from her last orgasm and he's found her entrance, he's lined himself up against her, and he thrusts in thrusts hard. Her breath hitches and her head lolls forward resting against his shoulder. She's turning her head and nipping at his neck. She needs him to move and he sets a steady rhythm.
He's trying to remain in control of himself, he wants to let this feeling last. Its too good, too wrong and he never wants it to end. She's moaning into his neck moaning his name non stop on, on an endless loop like she's forgotten any other words like she can't think about anything but him and how he feels inside her. Please faster Mr. Schue. It's not a request it's a demand and he obliges. He doesn't want to deny her this deny her anything more than he already has.
He's not sure if he can keep this up and remain standing, but he wants to come wants to push her over the edge while he has her pinned against the wall like this. He can't hold back anymore, his thrust become more erratic. She knows what this means, he is getting close, she his meeting him thrust for thrust. She pushes down against him at the right times, She lets her lips find his, and it's all teeth and tongues and wet. She wants him to come she wants to watch him as he does. Her nails are scratching into his back leaving marks and he just moans. The sensation is sent straight through her. He doesn't think he will last much longer but he needs to see her come undone before him. He wants her to finish before he can he needs it.
She's getting close though he lets a hand snake between them, to rub her clit. He's almost frantically pressing against it. She bites down on his shoulder as her nails dig hard into his back and she is coming again. She's moaning please Mr. Schue, please don't stop, so he doesn't and as her walls contract around him, he lets himself go. He can't hold on anymore. He lets her name fall from his lips as he comes. He slides to the floor with her on top of him, he's still inside her. She rests her head against his chest.
This is wrong and it can't happen again. This is the last time. He tells her this and he wants to believe it but he isn't so sure. She tells him it's Tuesday and Emma will be home late. He's still inside her. He isn't sure if he's ready to leave. If he's ready to end this. He thinks if he can just stay here he won't have to but she's sliding off him letting him fall from her. She tells him it's Tuesday and Emma will be home late. She offers him her hand and she's helping him to his feet. He isn't sure if he can should be standing so soon, isn't sure if he can, but she lets him lean on her, and leads him away. She's brought them to the bathroom and turns the shower on. It's Tuesday and Emma will be home late, he thinks he should clean up before going home, Emma doesn't like messes anyway.
It's Wednesday and they are school. Wednesday means it's over. This is what he tells himself. They said their goodbyes last night and it won't happen again. He went home to Emma kissed her and climbed into bed with her, he didn't tell her he spent the afternoon fucking his student. He didn't tell her he cleaned himself up after in her shower, didn't tell her that he fucked her again on the shower floor. She is laughing with that boy, his arm slung around her waist as he pulls her close to him and kisses her. Things go on as usual. They are over and no one knows, no one can know and that's ok he thinks.
Thursday comes all too quickly. Thursday means Glee practice after school and he isn't sure he is ready to face her face them. He knows it was the last time, knows all the reasons why they can't happen again. He isn't sure he wants to test it, to see her and see her eyes looking at him like nothing ever happened or worse like something has and that she still wants it, wants him. He's thinking all these thoughts, but it's lunch time and he's supposed to be meeting Emma in the faculty lounge. He's in his office grabbing his lunch and he hears a knock at the door. He thinks it's Emma, tells her to come in. He looks up as she opens closes the door. He looks up because he hears the click of the lock and thinks it strange Emma would do that, but it's not Emma.
He doesn't ask why she is there, he knows the answer, knows and wants so desperately to be wrong. That's a lie he tells himself, it makes this easier, makes him feel like a good man. He tells her they can't do this again. They already said good bye and she knows. She tells him she doesn't want this. Tells him she can't but she's already crossed the room. She's already wet and whispering please Mr. Schue in his ear. He tells her this is the last time they can't do this again.
He's late to lunch. He lies easily to Emma telling her a student showed up and needed some help. He feels ok because this is not a lie. A student did show up and she did need help. The lie is only one of what she needed help with. He doesn't tell Emma she needed him inside her, he doesn't tell Emma that her panties are currently crumpled up in his pocket. He doesn't tell her that as he bent her over his desk she cried out his name telling him to go faster. He doesn't tell Emma how he told her he loved her as her mouth closed around him to clean him of her own orgasm.
Glee is torture, She acts just as she used to, like nothing has happened, like nothing has ever happened between them beyond the student teacher line. He is impressed with how easily it is for her, but it is easy for him. They have been playing this game for the past 2 years. That was before though, that was before he had Emma and she had this other boy. That was before they broke up, before she ended things, before they started cheating together, and before she ended that too. It's different because he knows he can't stay away even if he wanted to. It's different because he knows all of this and knows he's still going to marry Emma. She's sitting in the front row and she allows her legs to part just slightly, but it's enough for him to see she is wet, and wanting and reminds him her panties are in his pocket. Practice ends and everyone leaves. He takes her up against the piano he tells her they can't do this anymore that this is the last time. He hands her back her panties, she slips them on and leaves.
The week comes to a close and they don't see each other. They are over and he thinks maybe they have finally moved on or maybe she's finally moved on. He wants so desperately to see her, to find the release he needs from her, but he can't. It's wrong, and she's his student, he's engaged and he loves Emma. They are over and they said their goodbyes. He sees her at school and things are normal. They are just teacher and student, and pretend they don't know each other beyond that. She's always been good at pretending he thinks at least when it had to do with them. She was always good at pretending they were just teacher and student and nothing more. He thinks maybe it's because she never calls him Will and he's thankful for that.
He doesn't see her, he doesn't go to her outside of school. She doesn't come to his office during lunch. He thinks maybe it's finally over. He knows this is a good thing, but he can't help but think it's so wrong. He doesn't want it to be over, he doesn't want it to end but at the same time it needs to be because it's wrong. He is home thinking this over. Emma is out and won't be home until later. He isn't sure if this is a good thing. His mind wanders to this topic and he's not sure if he should dwell on it. If Emma was here he wouldn't be thinking about it, thinking about her, he tells himself. That would be a good thing, not thinking about her, not thinking about being between her legs. Not thinking about her like that anymore she is his student. There is a knock at his door. He is glad for the interruption of his thoughts. He opens the door and is surprised to see her standing there. He goes to ask her why she is there, though he is sure he already knows the answer. Before he can speak she holds a finger up to his lips, and looks him in the eye. She tells him it's Tuesday and Emma will be home late.
This is the last time, it's always the last time until the next time. He keeps telling her they can't do this anymore, but he's too weak to resist. Too weak to stop himself from going back. He's engaged now and even if he wasn't it'd still be wrong, she's his student. Please Mr. Schue, please, and that's all he can hear, that's all it takes to crumble his resolve. She never calls him Will. He tells her it's Tuesday and Emma will be home late.
AN: As I was typing this I couldn't help but think that the song Pretending that Rachel and Finn sing works so well for it.