Now, as all who are interested in such things know, Edwin is a crappy programmer. And it has thus been a long-time mystery how he has managed to solve what he has—although the problems are trivial, one would think they would be beyond his range of skill. But in light of recent discoveries, I have managed to piece together the story. Listen closely, for I will tell you how this came to be.
It all started on a sunny afternoon, when Edwin was busy hiding in the school basement as usual, in an attempt to evade the horrifying possibility of having to interact with another human. He sat, as he had done daily for what felt like many years, bemoaning his lack of skill and worth as a person.
"I'm unemployable," he sighed, "at this rate, I will never be able to buy myself the neko waifu I've always wanted."
"Child, do you wish to change your fate?" The whisper echoed through the barren concrete corridor.
Edwin turned. "I don't bargain with unknown voices in the dark."
An eerie chuckle filled the air, as the surface of the wall writhed and contorted itself into the face of a demon.
The boy stared in disbelief, and cautiously approached. Then, he suddenly hurled his bag directly into the center of the face. Being loaded with many volumes full of images of cat-girls, the bag was a terrifying projectile as it hurtled forwards.
The world froze. The bag hung in the air, encased in strands of glittering magic. Edwin struggled, attempting to flee, only to find himself also trapped by the power of the demon.
"Don't make me angry, child."
Edwin blushed. He was struggling with all he had, but he had never been so helpless and found that he was starting to like it. Before, he had feared the deceitful nature of demons, but at that moment, he did not think it would be a waste even if his soul were taken by the powerful creature.
"What do you want me to do?"
The boy's eager smile made the demon's heart skip a beat. It had been so long since he had seen something so innocent.
"Bring me the blood of life. It does not matter from what or whom, it only need be blood from a life that was taken in the bleeding."
The child hesitated. "And what will you give me in return?"
A ball of light appeared in the demon's mouth.
"Take it."
Edwin reached out and grasped the light, which disappeared into his hand as if it had been absorbed. He gasped, as the world seemed to sharpen around him. For the first time, his math homework made sense. And he knew this was the intelligence and skill he'd always dreamed of having.
But then it faded, and his mind became dark again.
"I can make it last much longer, depending on the power and volume of the blood you bring me."
Eyes full of longing, the boy responded, "I will do as you ask."