Disclaimer: Still no.
AN: Since Grav posted her flash-fic up on I realized that I never got around to posting this one. So, here is what should have been crack-fic but turned out to be kind of cute Pippin. I have no memory of what the prompts were, but maybe you can figure it out by reading. Kate and Rachel both thought it was hilarious that I could paraphrase the Silmarillion by heart. What? It's not hard.
Pippin was thoroughly enjoying his breakfast of Gondorian mushrooms just outside the well-stocked food tent that had been set up at Cormallen. He'd been up for only a day now, but he was already back to eating six square meals a day, and thankfully the wonderful cooks that Faramir had sent knew just how to cook mushrooms to perfection.
He finished the last bite of his meal and sat back with a hand at his belt. The motion felt natural and yet at the same time strange, but he was starting to get used to wearing a sword at his belt along with his knife. It would be strange to go home and set it aside.
He called a greeting to Eomer as he walked by, leading his horse towards the edge of the field, no doubt for his morning run. The new King of Rohan looked troubled, and Pippin felt a bit sad for him. They had received word yesterday from Gondor that Eowyn would not be coming to Cormallen, and Eomer had not reacted well to the news.
Sighing, Pippin rose and returned to the tent he and Merry were sharing nearby. Merry was gone; he had duties among the Rohirrim, but Pippin was still on leave from the Gondorian army with orders to rest and heal. He absently wandered around the tent, picking up things and then putting them down. He really had no idea what to do with himself. At last he collapsed on to Merry's bed (it was closest) and his eyes strayed to the book Merry had left behind. Pippin had no idea where he had found it, but it was in Westron. Curious, Pippin picked it up and flipped it open to the marked page.
"Morgoth, whose first name was Melkor in the Elven tongue of old, was at long last defeated and…"
Well that sounded positively boring. Pippin flipped through the pages until a name caught his eye.
"Of all the Eldar who remained in Middle-earth after the Last Battle, the most powerful was that of Galadriel, queen among elves, who took up the rule of Lorien with her husband Celeborn."
A bit more interesting. Pippin flipped a bit further.
"Of the most powerful objects belonging to Gondor, are the Palantiri of old. The great seeing stones, of which there were seven, were said to give sight of all of Middle-earth to the rulers of the realm of men."
Pippin quickly flipped the page. He'd had quite enough to do with Palantirs, thank you very much. Bored he put the book down and for lack of anything better to do wandered outside.
"Well, hello, Master Pippin. And how are you this fine day?" Smiling Pippin turned to greet Gimli.
"Quite recovered, thank you. Though a bit bored, I must admit. Everyone has their duties to attend to, but I'm supposed to be resting."
"Well, we simply cannot have that, now can we Master Hobbit. I have a bit of time myself before I must meet Legolas. Perhaps I might find a way of entertaining you?"
"I would be most grateful Gimli."
"Tell me, has Bilbo ever told you the story of Thorin Oakenshield?"
"He's mentioned him before, but I don't know much about him. I was mostly too young to hear tell of all the stories Bilbo passed on to Frodo and Sam."
"Well, we simply cannot have that, now can we? Thorin was one of the best of the dwarves. You see, quite before you were born…"