Hey there! I didn't write this, as you can see, my boyfriend did. ^_^ Read it, it's absolutely hilarious!!
Rating: PG I guess, there's nothing offensive in it as far as I'm concerned.Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon or DBZ, etc, etc.email- mondocoolvegeta@yahoo.com
Pokéball Z
By Mondocoolvegeta
"Kakarot please... destroy... Frieza. He made me what I ... am ... don't let him do it to anyone else... whatever it takes... stop him... please..." and with those last words spoken Vegeta passed into another dimension.
" Oh No! I've been killed! Dammit, I've finally bitten off more than I can chew, Stupid Frieza, Vegeta said pouting.
Then as if being dead wasn't bad enough Vegeta was suddenly in front of King Yamma's monstrous desk.
"Ho, Ho Vegeta we've been expecting you, yes lets see, ah yes here we are, oh my you've been a very naughty boy, we have a special punishment lined up for you!"
"Who the devil are you? Where the devil am I ? Special punishment I'll special punishment you!" screamed Vegeta powering up and making the I have to go to the bathroom face.
" I think not," chortled King Yamma who then snapped his enormous fingers, sending Vegeta to his own personal Hell.
" I choose you Pikachu!"
" Pika- what? What's going on where am I ?"
"Hey Mister what're you doing? I'm trying to have a Pokemon match here!"
"Who the blazes are you and what is a Pokemon?" wondered Vegeta.
"Watch out Ash, he looks dangerous!" yelled Brock.
"Yeah Ash you'd better be careful because you still owe me that bike! Thought I had forgotten didn't you?" Misty said.
" So are you going to get out of the way or not Mister? I'm trying to have a Pokemon match, with my Pokemon, so I can get into the Pokemon League and battle other Pokemon.
"Shut up you moron! If you say that word one more time I'll annihilate you!!! a vein poppingly mad Vegeta hollered.
"Wha, what's wrong with saying Pokemon?" Ash inquired inquisitively.
"Gaahhh! I'll vaporize you you little twerp! RRRRRRR,RRRRR,RRRR...RRRRR..RR...rrrrr, hey what's going on? I can't get any energy attack formed! Waaahhhaahh!"
"Golly gee Mister your not very nice at all, Pikachu THUNDERBOLT!"
" Ahhhh! You stupid kids I'll be back and you'll be sorry!" Vegeta said as he fled for his life.
"Curse those blasted rugrats, if only I had my powers!"
As Vegeta was fuming about his unfortunate predicament he happened to run into a freshly zapped Team Rocket
" Watch where your going you little midget!" screamed Jessie pulling out her mallet.
"Ow! What the hell are you doing!" Vegeta bellowed.
"Look out Jessie he looks scary!" James cried.
"Ow, heey your kind of cute you know," Vegeta said.
" Watch it buddy she's spoken for," James said trying to act tough in front of Jessie.
"Quiet girly boy, I'm picking up."
" Have yoise two forgotten that we've failed again to capture Pikachu!" Meowth said Fury Swiping all three of them.
"Why you stupid little... talking... cat... AH Hell! Where am I?" Vegeta sobbed.
"Who are you to push around the great Team Rocket anyway?" Jessie asked indignantly.
"I am Vegeta, Prince of the Saiyans, the most powerful warrior in the Galaxy! Now take me to the man in charge, because you two are definitely not bright enough to make it on your own."
"Heey that's not very nice," James whined.
" Yah, no one pushes Team Rocket around!" Meowth meowthed.
"Quiet furball before I make a rug out of you, well come on then lets get going I haven't got all day!" Vegeta yelled glaring at James.
"Jessie I don't like him, he's putting the moves on you and pushing me around!"
" Quiet James, we'll bring him to the boss then he can figure out what to do with him, and don't worry your the only man for me."
"Oh Jessie!"
"Not now James."
" So you two why the name Team Rocket, its not very intimidating, it actually sounds kind of lame," chuckled Vegeta in his evil way.
"Lame! Why I never, OOOO you make me so mad!'' Jessie fumed.
"Your kind of cute when your angry," said Vegeta.
"Heey!" sobbed James.
LATER BACK AT THE BOSS'S !
"Now let me get this straight, you were killed, sent here as your punishment, have repeatedly insulted my two moronic Team Rocket members and their imbecile companion Meowth, come barging in here, and expect me to help you?" inquired an astounded Giovani.
"Yes."
"Works for me, Jessie James, Meowth get my new friend here a new set of clothes, and join me for supper at my fabulously expensive restaurant 'The Guilded Pokemon' where we can discuss your dilemma further," Giovani ordered.
"Boss's pet," James said discreetly.
"What did you say pansy boy? In case you haven't noticed I've got pretty big ears and can hear a lot!"
"Eeeeee, don't hurt me, don't hurt me don't hurt me! I'm to pretty to die!"
LATER AT THE GUILDED POKEMON!
" So how about helping me get the hell out of here eh Giovani ?" Vegeta said as he drank back his umpteenth glass of wine.
"Certainly, now from what you've told me the only way to get you back to your 'dimension' is if we collect all seven of the magic Pokeball's and summon forth the Eternal Dragonite to grant your wish." Vegeta raised his eyebrow, "Are you serious?"
"Indeed I am, quite fortunately I happen to have obtained two of the balls, James grab my balls please and show them to Vegeta."
"Y-Yes B-Boss," James snickered.
"Quiet James do you want to get our salary cut again!" Jessie whispered as she hit James with her fan.
"Yeah stoipid," hissed Meowth also hitting James, but with one of the drum sticks he was devouring. "Let me get this straight, I have to collect the seven magic 'Pokeballs' and call forth the eternal 'Dragonite' to grant my wish?"
"Yes" Giovani and Team Rocket chorused.
"Whatever."
"James where are my balls?!?"
"In your p-" started James but was soon silenced once again by Jessie's fan.
"Never mind I've found them, they were in my pants the whole time."
Vegeta raised his eyebrow for the second time that evening.
"Very well, I shall send Jessie, James, and Meowth along with you on your quest, by the way how is your new suit?"
"For one thing it's quite dorky looking, it chafes, and doesn't provide much protection, but I guess it will have to do."
"Yes well, Jessie, James, you two could learn a lot from Vegeta here, he has a mind of his own and doesn't say anything to just please me," Giovani said condescendingly.
"You know Boss you've been letting yourself go lately," James chimed in.
"Shut up James."
"Yessir."
"Moron," Vegeta thought to himself out loud.
So the newly formed quartet of Team Rocket left the Guilded Pokemon to set out on their quest for the Pokeballs.
"Alright you two, the only reason I'm putting up with you is to get the 'Pokeballs' and get the blasting blazes out of this crazy wholesome learn-a-lesson every episode dimension," Vegeta said pocketing the two Pokeballs.
"Are those Pokeballs in your pocket or are you just happy to see Jessie?" asked James with a chuckle.
"Shut up nitwit," said Vegeta hitting James quite hard because he was still pretty strong, " this is no time for jokes."
"I wasn't joking, I'm jealous," said James.
"Oh James you poor baby come here let Jessie take care of that nasty booboo," Jessie cooed. "Oh please, LETS GET GOING YOU TWO NUMSKULLS!"
"You know whoit," Meowth said, "I like youse."
"Quiet fuzz face."'
"Yes sir Mister Vegeta sir!"'
"I've got to get out of here."
The newly formed Team Rocket set out to find the last five remaining Pokeballs so they could wish Vegeta back to his own dimension so Jessie and James could be alone, because it was easier to get rid of Meowth than the ill tempered Saiyan.
"How are we going to find these Pokeballs anyhow?" wondered Vegeta.
"Why with the Pokeball Indicator of course," Meowth said pulling out a square looking something or other that beeped.
"This is just too weird, I've got to get out of here, OK. then were does the 'Pokeball Indicator' say we have to go?" Vegeta said disgustedly.
" It would appear that were in luck and the first Pokeball is in Pallet Town, Hmmmm why does that sound familiar?" wondered Jessie wondrously.
"Pallet Town, mondo cool I love Pallet Town," James crooned.
"Yes, mondo cool, now lets go!" Vegeta said as he ran toward the blimp.
"Hey wait for us!"
SHORTLY AFTER AT PALLET TOWN!
"Why does this place seem so familiar?"
" Quiet James, there's no time, besides we've been to a lot of town's and they all look the same," said Jessie.
"Where does the Pokeball Indicator say to go?"!
"Ummmm... over there."
"Well then lets go!"
"Geez, your cranky," said James.
"Shut up, purple head." Vegeta said glaring menacingly at James.
Team Rocket arrived shortly at a house in a quiet little neibourhood.
"The Pokeball is in there," Jessie said.
As they were about to barge in they heard a muffled sound coming from the house, "Mr. Mime, Mr. Mr. Mime."
"Mr. Mime? This place gets weirder by the minute," Vegeta mumbled.
"Mom, when are we going to have supper, I'm starving!" someone whined muffeledly.
"Oh Ash supper will be ready soon now stop complaining and entertain your friends."
"But Moommmm,"
"That name sound familiar but who could it be?" pondered Jessie ponderously.
"There's no time for that now, the longer I stay here the lower my IQ. gets , so lets get moving!" Vegeta said kicking down the door.
"Gasp!" said Ash, Brock, and Misty collectively
"Pika," said Pikachu.
"Quiet down in there you guys," Ash's mom said.
"Hey, its that cranky guy that Pikachu shocked earlier!"
"Alright you little punk, give me the Pokeball!"
"What Pokeball? I have lots of pokeballs."
"Yeah me too," chimed in Misty and Brock.
"What are you fools talking about? I want the magic Pokeballs to call forth the Eternal Dragonite so I can get out of this stupid dimension!"
"Yeah you little twerps, and while we're at it we're going to take your Pikachu too!"
"Team Rocket! You'll have to beat me in a Pokemon match first!"
So while Ash and Team Rocket were battling, and all not involved in the match were enthralled, Vegeta went through the house searching for the magic Pokeball.
"Where can that stupid Pokeball be? I bet those idiots use it for a chew toy for one of their accursed 'Pokemon'," Vegeta grumbled irritably. "Ah Ha, this must be it," he said as he peered into the glass display case marked 'Magic Pokeball Don't Touch!'' So Vegeta, being Vegeta, artfully smashed the glass and purloined the Pokeball. "There now I'm one step closer to getting out of here." Vegeta stomped back to where Team rocket was getting a sound thrashing from Ash and Bulbasaur. After much cursing and I - have - to - go - to - the - bathroom - looking, Vegeta punched Ash in the stomach, kicked Pikachu away, grabbed Team Rocket, and stomped out of the house. Just then as the villainous villains were leaving Ash's' mom came out of the kitchen and asked why Ash's' new little friends weren't going to stay for supper. Of course as she was asking this she noticed the mess that the battle had made, and her head grew to twice its normal size, while she was yelling at him he noticed that she had also grew a set of fangs. "Hmm, just like Misty, mmm Misty she's dreamy," Ash thought to himself dreamingly.
"Young man are you paying attention to me?! Ash! ASH!"
"Poor kid," James said.
"Shut up fool, where does the Pokeball Indicator say to go next Jessie?"
"Ummm, Cerulian City!"
"Cerulian City, that's where those goils is aren't they?" Meowth asked.
"There's now time for 'goils' you talking cat abomination, and besides your a Pokemon, you sick little freak,"
"Heey, go easy on Meowth," James whined once again.
"Didn't I tell you to shut up you worthless little pansy!"
"Yessir, sorry sir."
"Ahh, poor James," Jessie said lovingly.
"MMMMM," was all James could say.
So our less than heroic hero's set of towards Cerulian City in search of the magic Pokeballs so they could wish Vegeta out of their lives...
"Shut up, we already know that you stupid narrator!" Vegeta growled.
Right sorry, so anyways they arrived at the city, and now I'm going to go cry.
"Stupid imbecilic narrator."
"We're here, and according to my calculations the Pokeball is located at the Cerulian City Gym." "What does that mean?" Vegeta asked arrguously.
"It means that we'll probably have to battle more Pokemon," Jessie answered.
Vegeta just shook his head in disgust.
The newly formed Team Rocket arrived at Cerulean City shortly after setting off, minus one passenger, James! Vegeta had gotten so angry at James and his shenanigans that he had swiftly thrown him off the blimp.
"That wasn't very nice, what you did to James you know, he could have been seriously hurt," Jessie whined taking over James's place.
"Puh-lease, you must know perfectly well that you can't die in this dimension, in my dimension Pikachu's shocks would do more than turn you gray, now stop whining toots."
And to prove Vegeta's point a battered and bruised James rode up to the parked blimp just a few seconds later.
"Alright you stupid monkey! I've had about all I can take from you!" James bellowed seeming to finally have some testicular fortitude, "C'mon Vegeta, let's fight!"
"Them's fightin' words!" yelled Vegeta as he beat the petunias out of James.
"Will youse two stop fighting so we can get the Poikeball!" said Meowth loudly, because he was getting hungry and the sooner this was all over the sooner he could chow down. "Now to get the Pokeball we'll need a brilliant plan, a large vacuum device, or hole, elaborate costumes..."
"Fudge that I want to get out of here now!" Vegeta said as he crashed through the Gym doors.
"He has absolutely no sense of showmanship," James huffed.
"Maybe if he could go to the bathroom, he wouldn't be so high strung," Jessie suggested, thinking of the face Vegeta always made when he was angry.
"Well we'd better go in." As Team Rocket walked in to the gym they ran into Vegata coming out of the lavoratory, "Ah, that's better," he sighed contentedly.
"Will you be less cranky now?" asked James.
"Shut up Pokemon for brains."
"Guess not."
"Aha!" cried Vegeta bursting in to a room, "this is where the Pokeball Indicator says the next Pokeball is!"
"!!!SHRIEK!!!! " Oh my," said James blushing, " I do believe we've stumbled into the Cerulean Sisters changing room!"
"Yes I see," was all Vegeta could say.
"GET OUT YOU FIENDS HOW DARE YOU BARGE IN HERE LIKE THAT, CLOSE THE DOOR!!" Just then Jessie appeared behind the two motionless males, and hit them over the head with her ever ready fan, after which she politely closed the door grumbling, "I look better than they do! What were you doing James? How dare you even look at another woman other than me! Why I oughta."
"They're certainly not as cute as that blue haired girl I saw on Namek," Vegeta said.
"Cool it youse guys, here comes the sistoirs!" Meowth screamed with tears running down his face "You dastardly fiends have offended the honor of the Cerulean Sisters I challenge you guys to a Pokemon match! Um, like whatever, and stuff!"
"Go, Arbok!"
"Weezing, smoke screen now!"
"Like, go Dugong!"
"Horsey, I choose you and junk."
"Imbeciles, all they do is battle their accursed Pokemon, well I have no time for such nonsense, I must get back to my dimension and get my revenge! Stupid Kakarot he'll never suspect that I'm still evil until its to late, and I'll be even more powerful than Frieza herself, um I meanhimself. Just then Vegeta came across a door marked 'Pokeballs Keep Out' " Yes the magic Pokeball must be in there," Vegeta said failing to see the 's' in Pokeball on the sign. "Oh no! there must be hundreds of pokeballs in here how am I ever going to find the right one! And the Pokeball Indicator can't pinpoint it accurately enough!" A few minutes later Team Rocket burst into the room, jamming the door behind them.
"Why can't we ever win any matches?" James wondered sadly.
"Um, James, look," Jessie said amazed.
And when James turned around he saw Vegeta with Pokemon of every sort surrounding him.
"Don't just stand there help me find the magic Pokeball!"
"I don't know, it looks like you've got the situation well in hand," said James.
"I said help me, or I'll throw you back out to those sisters!"
"Eeep," James eeped. After a few minutes of fruitless search Meowth came upon the magic Pokeball.
"I've got it!" said Meowth holding up his prize.
"Give me that before you lose it fuzzface!" Vegeta said grabbing the Pokeball, "Now lets get the flying Frieza out of here!"
And with that said, Jessie, James, and Meowth each pulled out a bomb from who knows where proceeding to blow up the wall. "Let's go!" James commanded.
"Don't tell me what to do you little namsy-pamsy purple haired pushover!".
"Fine then what do you want to do?"
"Get out of here obviously, now lets go moron," said Vegeta grabbing James by the collar and dragging him to the blimp.
As Team Rocket plus one pissed Saiyan were flying off the sisters came running out of the big gapping hole in the side of their gym. "Like we'll get you back and stuff! You'll be sorry!"
"Yeah like whatever!"
"Stupid insipid girls, at least we didn't see that annoying boy with the cap again," Vegeta cursed.
"That's because they're right there," pointed out Jessie.
"Damn we're late," said Ash.
"I told you not to have forths, or we'd miss them Ash," Misty scolded.
"But I was so hungry!"
"Hello ladies, do you by any chance happen to need a hand with fixing your wall?" Brock said, quite debonairly for Brock.
"How do they know where we're going to strike next? They must have a spy in the group! Alright which one of you is it?" Vegeta asked.
"Not me," said Jessie. "Not me," said James."
"Noit me," said Meowth. "Squirtle," said Squirtle.
"Ah ha!" the four villains chorused throwing Squirtle out of the blimp.
"Squirtle," said Squirtle again, rubbing his head.
"Now that that's taken care of, where does the Pokeball Indicator say to go next?".
"It says to go into the mountains."
So the fastly bonding Team Rocket and Vegeta....
"Hey! I'm not bonding with anyone got it you less than adequate narrator!"
Right sorry, Team Rocket and the horribly mean Vegeta who is not bonding in any way, set off towards the mountains. They faced many a peril but none that exciting so we'll skip over them, to summarize there was a mud slide, storm, and Vegeta insulted James almost constantly. All in all it was a good trip however and well worth while because Vegeta and company came out of it with two more magic Pokeballs. "If I ever have to go through that again I swear to-"
"Hey look! The Pokeball Indicator picked up the last Pokeball! Only a short time now until we can get rid of you!" James said interrupting Vegeta in mid rant.
"Shut up you pathetic Pokemon purloining piece of garbage, if I wasn't so glad to be getting the devil out of this crazy dimension, I would hit you for that," grumbled a happy Vegeta.
"Where's our next destination?" asked Meowth. "According to the Pokeball Indicator, we have to go to the Annual Pokemon Exhibition."
"What in Jebus' name is a 'Pokemon Exhibition', " sobbed Vegeta, "Is there no end to how much this dimension sucks?"
"Would you stop knocking on our dimension, we happen to like it," a stranger said passing by. "Well then lets get going."
The now extremely disgruntled Vegeta and Team Rocket set out toward their final destination, the Annual Pokemon Exhibition, to retrieve the final Pokeball and disperse of the napping Saiyan.
"If you know I'm napping then why are you still talking?" a sleepy Vegeta mumbled irrately.? Sorry sir, so yadda yadda yadda and they were there!
"I want to ride the Poke-go-round!" James cried shrilly.
"There's no time for that, don't you want to get rid of me soon?"
"Right" James said getting very serious very quickly.
Finally after much trepidation and cussing on Vegeta's part the quartet found the Pokeball. "Alright you little twerp give me that magic Pokeball and and I'll go easy on you and break only one of your legs!" Vegeta said glaringly.
"No way, you'll have to beat me in a Pokemon match first!" said Gary Oak pulling out his best Pokemon.
"What is it with you morons and your infernal Pokemon matches, can't you settle anything without an accursed match?!?!"
"Don't worry Vegeta we'll take care of this!" Team Rocket said in unison.
"Don't bother, you moronic imbeciles have probably never won a match in your life, and your interference will only cause more problems," Vegeta said getting ready to pummel Gary, Pokemon or not. "I'll battle him."
"What, who said that? Show yourself!"
"It's me! Ash Ketchum, from Pallet Town!" Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town said.
"Hey look every one, its the loser from Pallet Town! Ash, you're nothing but a loser, just like every one else from there." Gary said stupidly.
"You're from Pallet Town to stupid," Misty said, sticking her tongue out and pulling down her eyelid. "Yeah, well... shut up!" Gary shot back.
"Yep, that's it everyone in this cockamamie dimension is a moron," Vegeta sighed.
"Ok Gary lets go!" yelled Ash throwing in Pikachu.
"Hey, don't throw Pikachu!" Misty yelled her head getting quite large.
And with that the Pokemon match of the week began, it was such a wonderful and terrific match that words cannot describe it, it was a match to end all matches. And then it was over.
"Yay, I won!" Ash yelled joyously forming his stubby little fingers into the peace sign. "Here you go you grumpy old coot," Ash said giving the Pokeball to Vegeta.
"Hey I'm not old! But that's not important, why did you help me get the Pokeball?" wondered Vegeta. "To get rid of you of course! And besides we felt a little sorry for Team Rocket."
"T-Thats so beautiful!" Jessie, James, and Meowth said hugging each other.
"You guys are jerks you know that... luckily I'm pure evil, and I don't care," Vegeta said sucker punching Ash.
"Owwww," Ash huffed.
"Finally I have all the Pokeballs and can get out of this, so very wrong dimension!" Vegeta said spinning around.
"I want to go with you!" a very moved James sobbed.
"No."
"Ok."
"But James if you left you wouldn't have me," Jessie cried.
"Your right!" and with that the two love sick villains began to make out.
"Eww," said Ash and Vegeta.
"I wish someone would kiss me like that," Misty and Brock said together. Just then the same thought crossed both their minds and THEY began to make out.
"Hey, Misty's mine!" Ash yelled jumping on Brock.
As the jealous heroes fought for Misty's affection with her watching happily because two boys were fighting over her, and Jessie and James were still making out, Vegeta grabbed Meowth and asked, "Do you need a password to work these things?"
"Sure," "Do you know it?"
"Of course I know it!"
"Then lets go fuzzface!"
"Dat is an insult and I don't have to take it!"
"I said lets go fuzzface or I'll feed you to those dog-like Pokemon over there!"
"You make a very convincing argument," Meowth said scared out of seven of his nine lives.
A short while later Vegeta and Meowth were in a field for no reason at all.
"Why didn't we just do this at the exibition?"
" 'Cause Jessie and James are starting ta freak me out," Meowth said shuddering as he thought of the two hormone crazy teenagers.
"Now say the password and wish me out of here!" Vegeta yelled impatiently.
"Wouldn't you want immortality instead?"
"I'd rather end up in a dimension full of wholesome teens fighting evil in high heels, than live forver in this god awful dimension."
"Youse got it! Pickel covered cheeseburger!!!" Meowth screamed raising his paws into the air.
"I think I'm going to cry," Vegeta sniffed. However stupid Vegeta thought the password was it did work. The sky darkened, lighting crashed to the ground, and with a brilliant flash of light emminating from the Pokeballs, the Eternal Dragonite appeared, "YOU HAVE AWAKENED ME FROM MY ETERNAL DRAGONITE SLUMBER, YOU SHALL BE GRANTED TWO WISH'S WITHIN MY POWER, AND IF I FEEL LIKE IT, SO MAKE IT SNAPPY FUZZFACE."
"For me foist wish, I wish for Vegeta here to leave this dimension, and go to a dimension were poiky teens fight evil in high heels!" Meowth screamed.
"IT IS DONE."
"What? No I want to go to my dimension !....." Vegeta howled fading out of exsistance.
"Now for me second wish I want a mother lode of fish, enough to last me all my nine lives."
"IT IS DONE, NOW BE GONE." with those final words uttered the Pokeballs turned to gold and scattered over the continent for another six hundred forty two days.
"I wonder where Vegeta ended up?" Meowth said happily munching on his newly begotten treasure trove of fish.
"Where am I? Where did that stupid feline send me?" Vegeta wondered.
"Moon Prism Power!"
!!!THE END!!!
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