Disclaimers: Don't own them, wish I did.

Warnings: Tony/Zoe, spoilers for "Judgment Day", spoilers for Season 12

A/N: One shot based on the spoiler that Tony is going to L.A. Left things kind of vague as to why Tony is going to L.A since we don't have any clue other than he is going lol. Also, yes, Gibbs survives the shooting in "Neverland"... in this story anyways!

California Demons

Last time he went to Los Angles terrible things had happened. It was hard to fight those demons when Vance instructed him to head out west this time. Tony had repressed most of the memories of last time, he had to in order to survive. Otherwise he would have gotten lost to the bottle while stationed on that damn ship. Frowning he looked at his duffel bag, laid out on his bed, waiting for him to pack. What did this trip have in store for him?

"Tony, the bag isn't going to pack itself," Zoe said behind him.

"What?" Tony questioned, turning to see her standing there.

Her dark brown eyes which had been filled with amusement suddenly filled with concern. "Are you okay? You haven't said much since Director Vance ordered you to go to L.A. What's the matter, Spider? Don't like Hollywood? With your love of movies I would have thought you'd be excited for this trip."

He sighed and put his shaving kit into the duffel bag. "Let's say the last trip was less than stellar. And I really don't want a repeat performance." Kind of wish I wasn't going alone. But with Gibbs on medical leave, the team is already down an agent... "Sorry I'm not very good company tonight."

She moved into the bedroom and reached for his hand. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, softly. "Remember, we said that were going to try to be more open with one another after the disaster of your dad's last visit."

Tony chuckled. Senior had away of bringing everything to a fifty-car pile-up on the interstate. He lifted Zoe's hand to his lips and kissed it. "Former Director Shepard was killed in California. I was assigned as her protection detail when she went out to L.A for a memorial service. She ordered us to take the rest of the day off."

"Us?" Zoe repeated, happy that he was willing to open up to her. It was obvious that this was a painful memory. "You weren't in L.A alone?"

"Ziva came with me," Tony replied. "She wanted to follow Shepard. I kept telling her no. In the end... I should have listened to her."

"You were following Director Shepard's orders," Zoe pointed out.

How many times had he heard Gibbs say that? McGee? Ducky? Tony nodded and tried to drown the awful image of Jenny lying in her own blood away. "Yeah," he choked out, "I know. Doesn't stop me from feeling guilty, from wondering if I'd been there if she'd be alive."

She saw the pain in his eyes. All these years later it seemed and he still blamed himself. Why did he hold onto so much? He had opened up to her a lot about his past, especially his past with NCIS, and Zoe had patiently listened, but at some point Tony had to realize that not everything was his fault. "You told me that she died in a gunfight. If you had been there do you think you would have walked away in one piece."

Tony shrugged. "I'm a pretty decent shot and Ziva... she never missed."

Zoe sighed, "Or... you could have been shot and killed yourself, regardless of how good a shot you and Ziva are."

"Wish you had been around to talk to back then, Zoe."

"You didn't have anyone else to talk to? I don't believe that Tony."

Tony sat down on the edge of the bed. "Vance shipped me out to sea. Know what it's like to be the only cop on a ship full of sailors? Let me clue you in... it isn't fun. I was alone. The most hated person on the entire ship, struggling with how I got there. Gibbs promised to get me back, I never doubted him, even when the months wore on. Four months of being alone... that can do awful things to your psyche, Zoe."

Zoe sat down with him and reached for his hand. She grasped it, tightly, and looked him straight in the eye. "Did you drink?" she asked, softly. She'd been a cop long enough to know that alcohol was the method of choice when it came to self-soothing in their line of work.

He nodded. "Easy when you were collecting contraband."

She kissed his cheek, softly. "You know that you can always talk to me, right? Just like we used to when we walked the beat."

"Yeah. I know, Zoe."

"Good. I'd hate to have to kick your ass if you started drinking."

Tony cupped her face between his hands and kissed her. It had been a terrible two or three months with the Calling and Gibbs being shot... he just wanted to erase the entire summer with the exception of his time spent with Zoe. He deepened their kiss and laid them down onto of the duffel bag. She pulled away with a smile on her lips. "What?" he asked, running his fingers through her hair.

Zoe chuckled. "You still need to finish packing."

"It can wait."

"Your flight is in four hours."

"It. Can. Wait."

She sighed and leaned in closer to him, capturing his lips into a passionate kiss. Zoe knew that she shouldn't argue with him, not now. He was opening up to her more and more as the weeks went on, allowing them to grow closer and closer. It was a closeness she had yearned for with him back when they were in Philly, it was a closeness that he could never give her back then.

He could feel her love taking all the tension away, the stress of having to travel to Los Angles and work with the OSP team. It wasn't that he didn't think he could handle the work, it was just... L.A brought back lots and lots of bad memories. Zoe managed to erase some of those terrible memories, in just a simple kiss. And so what if he had to pack... that he had to make a flight in four hours... he still had plenty of time to do that and to make love to her. But there was no time to fall asleep afterwards, which is exactly what he did.

Zoe shook him awake and held up his freshly packed duffel, that she had done for him. "You have a flight to catch."

Tony stood up, quickly put his clothes back on and grinned at her standing there in his Ohio State tee shirt. "Sure you don't want to come with me? We could become members of the Mile High Club."

"Who says I'm not already a member?"

"And who says I'm not already a member?"

Zoe laughed, playfully and handed him his duffel. She pulled him own by the collar of his suit coat and kissed him. "Promise to call me when you land."

Tony sighed against her lips. "I promise."

She didn't let him go just yet. "Promise to call if things get overwhelming being in L.A?"

He kissed her once more. "I promise if I need someone to talk to... you're the first one I'll call."

Finally she let him go. He grabbed his duffel and headed out, "Keates?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Spider?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too."

Tony paused, briefly, and then came back into the room to give her a kiss. As he left for the airport, this time he knew that even if his trip to California didn't go well, left him with more demons, at least he would have someone to come back too. This time, he wasn't going to be alone.