Without Edward

-Bella's POV-

I shook my head back and forth as I closed my eyelids. Edward's death was planted before me, but somehow I didn't believe it. Even though it was just in my head, it felt so real.

It had been close to a month since I saw him, and I missed Edward greatly. My heart ached as I knew how much pain I was causing him. He was my soul mate, but I had to leave my soul mate so he would not die. Damien came up to me.

"Isabella, you been by yourself for such a long time. Tell me what's bothering you," Damien's gentle voice said. He stroked my chin. I cringed at his touch. He didn't like me thinking about my past life, and he was the reason I was on my own. Even though he could control the mind and body, he couldn't read the thoughts.

"Nothing's bothering me," I lied quietly. I turned away from his face. I ached for a different set of arms touching me.

"You're thinking about Edward, aren't you?" I just shook my head. "It's unhealthy to think of the past. Edward didn't love you and take care of you like I do."

"No," I disagreed in my head quietly. "He loved me and took care of me much more than you did. I took him for granted. I loved him when I was human, and he changed me because that's what I wanted. I still loved him, but did I ever truly thank him for taking care of me?"

"Come on Isabella. Join Tom, Maria, and I for a hunt. We need our strength."

"I hunted last week."

"You need to be stronger. Come on, hunt human with us."

"No, I said I hunted last week," I said angrily. He turned away.

"Filthy animal drinker," he muttered. I watched them leave. Natalie and Mary came up to me.

"It's not a good idea to refuse him like that," Natalie warned.

"What can he do to me?" I asked. "Aren't I the key to taking over the Voultri?"

"Yes, but he can still hurt you."

"Besides controlling the mind and the body, what are his powers anyway?"
"He gives you pain. Damien knows everyone's weaknesses in our clan. He studied you for a long time, and he knew Edward was your weakness."
"In that shop, I felt helpless. I saw Edward dieing in front of me."

"Yes, that's an illusion. Your weaknesses are his strengths."
"What's the pain I felt?"
"His power is two parts. He fills your mind with what you fear most, in your case its Edward's death. From that, you feel physical pain, and you can't move."

"It won't affect me the same way again," I replied. "He won't hurt me."
"Yes, yes he will. It gets stronger each time he does it to you. If you become immune, which is highly doubtful, he'll hunt down Edward and kill Edward himself. Nothing stops Damien from getting what he wants."
"How did he recruit you?"

"About the same way he did to you, but my mate is dead. He and I were inseparable. Damien saw that, and attacked my mate when we were hunting. I wasn't very far, but when I got there, my mate was screaming in terror on the ground. 'No, Natalie!' he shouted. 'Get out of there, don't go into the fire!'…" her voice trailed off. Her head kept shaking back and forth. "Those words haunted me forever," she whispered.

"What did you do then?" I asked. "Edward said when someone's mate dies, the living one doesn't forgive the killer."

"I didn't really have a choice. I hated Damien, and I still do. Do you know Tom's power?" I shook my head. "He takes away memories, or lessens them. I asked him to take the pain away, and he did. I don't remember my mate as clearly anymore, but I would rather have it that way." I cringed at the thought of not remembering Edward.

"I wouldn't ask Tom to do that to me. I would rather die from the agony of the memory then forget."