A/N: This a response to the ending of Hannah Montana: The Movie, which I thought strained credibility just a little too much.
Un-ringing the Bell
By
James Doyle
Crowley Corners, Tennessee
Summer, 2009
Hannah smiled contentedly as the crowd at the Crowley Corners Community Fair raucously applauded and cheered following her final number. She'd become so swept up in the love and support shown by the people of her home town that she failed to notice that Travis Brody ascend the stage.
Travis had been her childhood friend, with whom she'd had something of a love-hate relationship. In the time she'd been away in California, he had grown into a young man who had captured her heart...and she he is. She found herself pleasantly surprised when he seized her by the face and kissed her in front of everyone, eliciting even louder applause and cheers from the crowd.
Hannah had never been happier than she was at that moment. The tabloid journalist who had threatened to expose her true identity had been convinced by his daughters (both huge Hannah Montana) fans to see the error of his ways and quit his job. Even more amazing, everyone in Crowley Corners had not only accepted her double life, but agreed to keep her secret. Everything seemed so perfect. And then it all came crashing down.
Without warning, the applause of the crowd turned into shouts of panic. Hannah looked off into the distance, and saw that the entire fairgrounds had been surrounded by armed troops. She knew what was coming next as she saw the crowd part to allow a nondescript black sedan through.
"Oh crap!" exclaimed Hannah.
"Miley, what's going on here?" demanded Travis, seeing in her eyes that she knew what was up.
Hannah swallowed hard before speaking up.
"Travis," she began. "I really care about you, and I don't want there to be any more secrets between us. There's just one more thing I need to tell you."
"It's okay, Miley," he assured her. "You can tell me."
"No, sir," interrupted a booming, authoritative voice, coming from a weathered older gentleman in a black suit. "She can't."
"What's going on?" demanded Travis. "Who are you?"
"I'm Special Agent Boomhauer, Department of Homeland Security," lied the spook, who then pointed to his lean young African-American partner. "This is Agent Green. There's been a terrorist threat against Miss Montana's life. I'm afraid we're going to have to take her into custody and detain these folks for questioning."
Hannah took the spook aside.
"Don't do this, Kay," she pleaded.
"Don't give me any lip, missy," rebuked Kay. "After this little stunt you pulled today, you're lucky we don't boot you out of the program and ship you off this rock on a slow boat to Polaris."
"Hey, I don't know who you think you are," interrupted Travis. "But you have no right to treat Hannah this way. She didn't do anything."
"Step aside, sir," urged Kay. "You have no idea who you're dealing with."
Hannah turned to face Kay once again. "Couldn't we let just one more person in on the secret?" requested Hannah.
"I'm sorry," refused Kay. "I already violated protocol by letting you tell your little friends. We have to maintain some semblance of containment here."
"Fine," grumbled Hannah. "Could I maybe finish what I was gonna say?"
"I don't see what purpose that would serve," argued Kay.
"Ah, come on, Kay," interceded Jay, his partner. "He won't remember any of this. What's the harm in letting the woman speak her peace?"
Kay growled. "Fine. You have five minutes."
"So what did you want to tell me?" asked Travis.
Hannah took a deep breath, and spilled her guts.
"Robbie Ray and Susan Stewart aren't my real parents," revealed Hannah. "They adopted me when I was just a hatchling."
"Don't you mean 'a baby'?" asked Travis.
"No," insisted Hannah. "I mean a hatchling. Travis, I'm not from this planet. I'm from the planet Draklok, on the other side of the galaxy. I was one of fifteen survivors when the Abadonian Reich decimated my planet. Now the only thing I have is earth, and my dream of being a pop star. Maybe someday, I'll settle down with my MiB-approved husband."
"So that's it?" reacted Travis. "You're just going to let Big Brother come between us?"
Hannah nodded. "It's how it has to be. Maintaining my cover is just one of many things they do to guarantee the safety of this planet...including people like me who have nowhere else to go."
Travis stood silent for a moment, then took Hannah by the hands and spoke.
"I believe you," assured Travis. "And this doesn't change the way I feel about you."
"Or the way I feel about you," reciprocated Hannah.
"Just one more thing," asked Travis. "Is this what you really look like?"
Hannah chuckled. "Yes, this is what I really look like. On the outside, anyway."
With that, Travis and Hannah shared one last kiss.
"Are we done here?" Kay asked impatiently.
"Yeah," Travis answered coldly. "Do whatever it is you came here to do."
"Very well," said Kay. "If you'll just step down and face this way."
Travis did as instructed, descending from the stage and taking his place at the head of the crowd. Lilly, Jackson, Robbie Ray, and a select group of other family members took their place behind the agents on the stage.
"Ladies and gentleman," announced Kay, taking the microphone. "We have reason to believe you may have been exposed to some form of subliminal suggestion here today." Kay produced a long, thin, cylindrical device from his pocket. "This will neutralize it. If you'll just focus on the red dot."
With that, those assembled on stage donned their protective Ray-Bans.
"I'm sorry it has to end this way," Hannah said ruefully to Travis.
"Me too," agreed Travis. "But hey, it's been an interesting two weeks."
"No," said Jay as he activated his device. "It hasn't."
With that, a bright flash of light shone throughout Crowley Corners, Tennessee, and they went about their lives completely oblivious to the events of the previous two weeks.
The End
Okay, so this turned out being more sad than humorous, but I'm still happy with it, and I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!