Authors Note: Well, it seems that Dancing with the Devil just wasn't good enough for some of you, *cough*dreamwalker*cough*Tsarmina*cough*, or they just wanted more. So here's more. I'm going to say this though, there is no happy ending to this one, so if you don't want the nice cheery ending of Dancing with the Devil to be ruined by major depression, don't read it!
How's this for commas dreamwalker? There, is, no, dedication, but, you, can, all, thank, dreamwalker, for, the, not, so, happy, ending. I, understood, the comma, comment, but, you, didn't, have, to be, so, mean, about, the rest, of it! I, know, commas, aren't, my, strong, point. In, fact, I, suck, shi-…crap, doing, commas, but, I'm, working, at, it, so, don't bitc-… bug, me, about, it!
Disclaimer: I do not own digimon that'll happen after world domination.
~ Sins of an Angel ~
"Ah! Oh my God!" Mimi screamed clutching on to Matt's arm and burying her head into his shoulder.
Matt laughed and wrapped his arm protectively around her. He waited until she lifted her head again and smiled mockingly at her.
"It's not funny!" she cried hitting him teasingly on the arm, but still kept as close as possibly to him as her eyes fixed onto the screen they were using to watch a movie.
About half an hour into the movie Mimi already regretted letting Matt choose the movie and spent most of the movie with her eyes tightly closed and her face buried in Matt's shoulder. Matt on the other hand, was enjoying himself immensely. When choosing the movie he took into all accounts of what Mimi's reaction would be and choose the scariest movie he could find, Child's Play.
"Why are so scared Mimi? This is nothing!" Matt explained tightening his grip on her.
"Maybe to you, but this is scaring the crap out of me! I can't stand this!" despite herself, Mimi smiled when she noticed Matt's arm tighten around her.
It had been only two weeks since they had had that first dance class where the gym teacher made them dance together, and only one week since they had "officially" begun to date, and tonight they had decided to watch a movie at Matt's house.
"Matt can we do something else, please?" Mimi begged squeezing her eyes even tighter when she began to hear the fearful screams of one of the movies characters.
Matt sighed theatrically, then turned the movie off with the remote, "What do you want to do, princess?"
Even after they had begun to date Matt still called her princess, most likely out habit, or just because he knew it bugged her.
Mimi rolled her eyes as she lifted her head to look him, "I don't know, but I know I don't want to finish watching that movie! It's still sending chills up and down my spine!"
Mimi could hardly believe she was dating Matt Ishida, the guy who has always been dubbed the "school freak" ever since he moved to Odiaba a little under a year ago. After all, she was the "school princess". Mimi knew she pushing the limit of tolerance of her peers but she couldn't help it, she was falling head over heals for him. She decided she would just have to tread carefully and not give any hints on her relationship with Matt for fear that her friends would disown her out of disgust.
"Why do you dress like that, Matt?" Mimi blurted out without thinking, as always.
Of course that thought had ran across her mind a million times, but she just didn't feel like it was ever the right time to ask. It wasn't as if she minded his black attire or gothic look, she didn't even mind the nail polish, in fact it was kind of a turn on, but Matt never really seemed to have a reason to dress like that.
"Like what?" Matt looked away absently, trying to get away from the subject.
"Like a goth, you know? With all the black," Mimi persisted without realizing Matt's discomfort.
"Well… I… I dress like this…. Because," Matt began trying to decide if he should tell Mimi about his shrouded past. Looking into her understanding honey brown eyes, he decided to tell her everything she wanted to know, knowing that she would never use it against him. "When I was little my dad and my mom… they got divorced."
Mimi's happy demeanour clouded over with sadness. "You don't have to go on if it hurts too much Matt. I understand." Mimi assured knowing very well what the sting of divorce felt like to a young child. She herself was the victim of a vicious court battle between her parents. Her parents had gotten a divorce when she was just six, each one pulling her, trying to gain control, the upper hand. They had done everything from trying to buy her love to bad mouthing the other parent. It tore her up inside and she spent months crying herself to sleep, and spent her days filling every waking moment with anything that would get her mind of the divorce, off her parents.
"No Mimi, it's okay, I can handle this. In a way I guess I need to get it off my chest, get it out in the open." Matt explained inhaling sharply. "My mother left with my little brother TK, and I stayed with my father. As time went on, me and TK saw less and less of each other, until one day, my mom just packed up with TK and left Japan for Canada, something about a job offer. TK and me, we begged and pleaded but she left with tears in her eyes and TK's little hand in her own. I remember everything about the day she left. We were at the airport, dad was standing beside me, his face was void of all expression, all emotion, but I could see the hurt in his eyes as my mother dragged his youngest son and my only brother on the plane with her. The last thing I heard was him screaming my name." Matt closed his eyes, warding of tears that were threatening to fall.
Mimi sat beside him, her features held a concerned look, and her eyes held sadness. She took his hand in her own and intertwined their fingers, giving him the support he needed to go on.
"I haven't seen him in three years, but we talk on the phone every Sunday at seven," Matt smiled fondly at the memories of him and his brothers long conversations together. "When TK and my mom left, my dad began to spend every waking hour at his office, coming home only to sleep and eat. I felt so alone, so betrayed, as if I didn't matter to him any more. I tried to get his attention anyway I could think of. I started out by working my ass off.
"I had the highest mark in everyone of my classes at one of my old schools. At first it worked, he seemed so proud of me and I was so happy, but when the novelty of that wore off everything had returned to what it started at. I gave up at that point suddenly. I just didn't care anymore. My grades dropped from an 'A' average to an 'F' average, I started getting into fights at school. I'd come home every night with a bloody nose and bruised knuckles.
"Once I got into this fight with a kid bigger then I was. I knew I couldn't win, but I fought him any ways. I got in a couple of good punches, I broke his nose, but nothing like he did to me." Matt cringed, as if in pain from just remembering, "I ended up in the hospital with broken nose, a few cracked ribs, a few broken fingers, things like that. That was the point when they expelled me from school, I was surprised they didn't do it sooner, they must have thought it was just some kind of phase or something. When my dad found out he was furious. He yelled at me for what seemed like hours, and when he left the hospital room I remember smiling because he had finally noticed me, even though he was yelling at me. I remember thinking that he had finally noticed I was alive."
"That's horrible Matt," Mimi gasped tears beginning to dwell in her own eyes as well as Matt's.
"After that I gave up the fight thing, I didn't want to end up in the hospital again, or even worse, dead. If it wasn't for TK I'd probably have kept on fighting, but he assured me that he'd be coming home one day, and that he wanted me to be there for him. I knew he was right, he'll be back, and when he does, I'll be here to guide him, protect him.
"When I began school again, at a different school, of course, I began to wear nothing but black. I painted my nails, and got my eyebrow pierced. It took my dad three weeks to notice that one." Matt chuckled harshly, betraying the feelings he felt for his father, "I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs 'Look at me! Look at what you've made me!' but I just couldn't. The second time I was expelled was because I was caught doing drugs in school. The look of utter disappointment on my father's face made me straiten up a little after that. I rethought a few things. I've been clean for over a year now." Mimi gave Matt a proud smile showing her obvious approval of him and he continued on. "I didn't give up the black, instead I just engulfed myself in it, knowing that it would be my whole life, that I would always be somewhere in the shadows watching others smile, watching them laugh, knowing that I would never be the one to smile next.
"I wanted to die Mimi," Matt cried, his tears beginning to make their journey down his soft pale skin, "for the longest time I just wanted to die."
"Oh Matt," Mimi sobbed, her own tears streaking down her face as she gently wiped his away, "I'm so glad you didn't."
She smiled fondly at him before bring him into a loving embrace, her arms wrapping around him protectively. She sat there for the longest time, stroking his hair as he cried into her shirt.
It had been so long since he had shed tears, so long in fact that he had thought he was incapable of crying any longer. But she had proved him wrong, like she so often did. In the few weeks that they had become friends, and so much more, she seemed to prove almost every one of his theories on life wrong. She was always so happy, even when everything around her was falling apart. He just didn't get it, but that was one of her biggest charms to him.
They fell asleep like that, him wrapped protectively in her arms. They were too deep in sleep to hear Matt's dad come in through the front door quietly. He entered the living room, almost afraid to find what Matt had gotten himself into this time, when he first saw Mimi's pink shoes laying neatly by the door.
To his surprise he found Matt in the arms of a young woman he had never met, but on the first sight of her, knew that she was the reason why Matt had been so happy the last couple of days, the reason Matt had been changing. And to his relief they were fully clothed. He smiled slightly, all the pride and admiration for his son that for some reason he just couldn't express towards him shining through his uncaring exterior.
He left them to sleep before retiring to his own room to get a couple of hours of sleep before heading back to work. Like always when he thought about just how much time he spent at work he felt a large pang of quilt piercing his soul, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't will himself to spend some well needed personal time with his eldest son. Matt's father went to bed thinking that perhaps this new girl that had waltzed into Matt's life could give Matt what he never could, could give Matt what he needed.
* * *
Mimi approached the group of girls that stood in the middle of the hall, gossiping over this and that. She paused before joining the group, smoothing out her new outfit. A new pink mini skirt with matching crop top and black vest with matching boots. If the girls she hanged with cared about anything, they cared about looks, and she had the newest look straight from Hollywood.
"Mimi! Oh my God! That is such an amazing outfit!" Charlotte squealed, embracing Mimi as she came to stand with the others.
"Thank you," Mimi smiled back, hugging Charlotte back awkwardly. For the first time in years she felt uncomfortable making contact with these people she called friends.
"Yeah, Mimi, were did you get that outfit? It's so cool!" a girl named Toby admired her outfit.
"Isn't it?" Mimi smiled brightly. It was as if they had forgotten she had ever begun to date Matt.
"Oh please," Shannon sneered, her face contorting with jealousy, "That look is so five minutes ago."
The girls that surrounded them looked lost and confused as of which side to take in the matter. Shannon had become the leader of their little clique when Mimi had begun to date the social outcast, but Mimi had this charm about her that made being around her make everyone feel good about themselves, because she never put anyone down. Slowly they began to side with Shannon, looking almost guilty when Mimi looked at them questionably.
Tears welled in Mimi's eyes, but she held them back, refusing to show any sign of weakness towards them, "And what would you suggest I wear, Shannon? I hope it's not what you're wearing, that would just be insulting."
The others gasped, and watched Shannon closely to gauge her response.
"Hmm…" Shannon smiled wickedly, resting her finger on her lips as if to be in thought, "Maybe you should try a black robe, at least you'd match with your new boyfriend."
"At least I have a boyfriend," Mimi spat back, raising herself to her full height.
"I'd never want to date a goth," Shannon challenged looking down at Mimi's small but confident form.
"That's because people like Matt would never date trash like you!" Mimi could feel anger flow through her veins like blood, releasing her adrenaline.
"So it's Matt now, is it?" Shannon mocked stepping dangerously close to Mimi, "Tell me Mimi, have you made wedding plans yet?"
Mimi mumbled something under her breath through clenched teeth.
"What was that?" Shannon smirked triumphantly.
"I believed the word I used was bitch," Mimi smirked back, then turned, her head held high, leaving the dumbstruck girls gaping in the hallway.
Once out of site Mimi sprinted to the washroom, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't believe what she had done. She had lost all the approval and support of all the people she had once called friends. They abandoned her just because she dated someone that they had deemed a freak. The world she cherished and knew was falling apart about her feet.
Why? Why had the people she trusted and confided in abandoned her? She looked in the mirror wiping away all her tears, knowing very well what the answer was.
It was all because of Matt. Sweet, loving, different, Matt. Why couldn't they see what a great person he truly was? Why couldn't they get past what he looked like? It made her so angry that they couldn't get past a person's looks, that they couldn't take the time to get to know who they really were.
At the same time though she felt a desperate need to gain their approval once again, to be the person she once was. Dreadful realisation dawned on Mimi when she began to think of all the things she could do to gain their so needed approval. If she dumped Matt and begged their forgiveness they'd accept her again. But could she really do that? Could she betray his trust that he placed so lovingly in her hands? When she couldn't give herself a straight, honest answer, she turned leaving the bathroom to get to her first class.
The hours of the miserable day went by agonisingly slow, and Mimi had wished more then once that she could just crawl under a rock and die. Especially when her former friends gave her looks of pity and began snickering behind her back. She would catch tiny fragments of conversation when no one thought she was listening. She'd hear things like, "She use to be so cool, but now…" or "How could she even touch that freak?" even, "She's such a disappointment!"
Managing to go the whole day without breaking down into fits of tears, Mimi made a mad dash for home and collapsed onto her bed to cry out all the days tears. She sat up stiffly, wiping away her tears and clearing her throat before picking up the ringing phone,
"Tachikawa residence, Mimi speaking," she managed in fake, light, cheery tone.
"Are you all right, Mimi?" Matt's voice came through.
"Why do you ask?" Mimi smiled at the sound of his concerned voice.
"Because your voice is happier then usual," Matt informed.
"Maybe I just got a new outfit?" Mimi challenged playfully, already feeling better.
"In the twelve minutes that you just got home? I don't think so," she could hear Matt laugh before continuing on, "I know how people act when they're miserable Mimi, and you sound really miserable."
"I am," Mimi confessed flinging herself back onto the bed theatrically even though no one could see her.
"Why?" he asked simply.
"Some things happened at school today, nothing big," she partially lied.
"It's because of me, isn't it?" Matt asked his voice was laced with regret and had a melancholy tone to it.
"No!" Mimi gasped a little too quickly, letting Matt know it was. "It has nothing to do with you, I swear."
"Sure," Matt agreed absently, "listen I have to go, all right? I'll call you later, kay?"
"I'm looking forward to it," she sighed truthfully before hearing a deafening click of the disconnection. She held on until the recorded voice of a woman told he that no one was on the line.
She hung up knowing she had blown it big time with Matt. What was she ever going to do now? The first guy in her life that ever saw her for what she truly was and not some object, was pulling away from her and the friends she trusted were abandoning her. She knew she had to choose one or the other before she lost both, but that choice weighed heavily on her shoulders for the rest of the week because she was unable to make that choice.
Everyday the teasing would get worse and worse, and everyday Matt would inch that much further away from her. Time was growing short, and she would lose them both if she didn't move soon.
* * *
Matt sat anxiously on his couch, glancing at the phone every few seconds while drumming mindless tunes with his fingers on the coffee table before him. It was 7:03 and TK hadn't phoned yet. He always phoned at 7:00!
When the phone finally rang Matt darted for it, knocking the base of the phone to the floor and almost falling off the couch in the process.
"TK?" Matt questioned his voice tight with tension.
"Matt? Matt!" TK cried excitedly into the phone from Canada.
Matt inhaled deeply, his brother's voice already beginning to calm him down. "Hey TK, what's up?" Matt asked coolly.
Matt heard TK laugh before he responded, "I'm doing pretty great, what about you?"
"Same old, same old," Matt picked up the base of the phone and sat comfortably on the couch preparing himself for at least an hour of talking to his greatly missed brother.
"Sure," TK chuckled. "Guess what!"
"What?" Matt smirked at his brother's child like excitement that emanated from his voice.
"I met this really cool girl on the Internet!" TK began. Matt knew TK was smiling on the other side of the line. "I was on this fan fiction site and they had a chat. So I thought, hey, what the hell, right? And this girl named Light Angel was on and we started chatting. It was so cool! She likes all these cool things, and we have so much in common! Later I found out that her name was Kari Kamiya, and she lives in Japan! It's so cool, she's thirteen just like me, and she sent me a picture! She has short brown hair and these amazing brown eyes! She's so beautiful!"
Matt listened to TK ramble on about his dream girl for a few more minutes before interrupting, "That's great TK!"
"I know! It's so amazing! Oh! What's happening with you and…Mimi, right?" TK questioned cheerfully changing the subject like he often did. When he heard nothing but silence from Matt he spoke up again, "Matt? Is there something wrong with you and Mimi?"
"I… I don't know TK," Matt sighed audibly.
"Yes you do!" TK accused seeing right through Matt's visage.
"All right," Matt caved in, "some things are happening at school. Her friends are abandoning her because she's dating me, they tease her endlessly. I just don't know if I can let her suffer like that, TK, all because of me. I think I'm going to… break it off…" Matt ended quietly, almost shamefully.
"I thought you really liked her, Matt," TK said disappointedly.
"I do!" Matt assured, "I like her a lot, I like her more then I've ever liked anyone, but I can't let her suffer like that."
"Matt, the people who Mimi thought were her friends obviously weren't if they're making fun of her because she's dating you," TK said wisely, "Do you make her happy?"
"What? What kind of question is that?" Matt asked startled.
"Just answer the question Matt!" Matt knew that TK was rolling his eyes at him.
"She seems happy when she's around me…"
"Matt!"
"All right! Yes, I make he happy!"
"Then whoever is Mimi's real friend will be happy for her because she found someone that could make her happy."
"Thanks TK, I guess I was wrong," Matt admitted laying back into the couch.
"As always," TK said proudly his voice was enough to tell Matt that he was smiling.
"Hey! I'm not always wrong, you know?" Matt chuckled.
"Yeah, you're right. You're only wrong when it comes to the important things," TK burst out laughing taking Matt with him.
"Oh! Guess what else!" TK blurted out, between gasps of breath and fits of laughter.
"What?" Matt asked trying to breath.
"Mom says we're moving back!"
Matt ceased laughing and was silent for a great amount of time.
"Matt? Matt, I'm coming home," TK said joy radiating from every fibre of his being.
"Oh my God! You're not serious, are you?" Matt burst out.
"I've never been more serious in my life!" TK beamed.
"That's… that's amazing TK! When? Why? Where are you going to live?" Matt was almost crying he was so happy.
"Let me see…" TK paused a moment to think, "umm… in about a week I think, maybe two. Mom got a better job offer then she has now, and mom says she's going to move as close as she can to you and dad!"
They continued on about TK's moving for few hours before TK had to go. Matt hung up reluctantly, but picked up the phone and hit speed dial two.
"Hello?" a groggy voice answered on the third ring.
"Mimi?" Matt questioned unsure of who it was.
"Matt? Matt, is that you?" she answered glancing at the clock on her wall, "it's almost ten."
"I know but I just had to phone you! TK's coming home! He and my mom are moving back to Japan!" Matt cried ecstatically.
"What? That's great Matt!" Mimi congratulated becoming wide awake.
"I can't wait! He's going to be here in about a week or two! I can't wait to see him, it's been almost forever!"
"I'm so happy for you Matt! That's great, so what are you going to do once they get here?" Mimi seemed a bit drowsier now.
"I… I don't know," Matt admitted, "I guess I'll figure it out when they get here!"
"Did you tell your father?"
"No… not yet. I guess I'll have to…" Matt realized, his excitement depleting.
"Matt? Are you all right?" Mimi sounded concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Matt lied, "I'll talk to you later, I have to go, kay?"
"…kay." Mimi answered back, her voice small.
Upon hanging up, Mimi broke down, her face in her hands and her elbows on her knees. She felt so ashamed for taking Matt's excitement away by mentioning his dad. She felt so stupid. Most of all though she felt alone, Matt was pushing her away again.
He was making her decision a little easier though, and that made her feel any worse. Was it really worth the tears to try to get closer to Matt? To try to get him to love her? Or should she settle on the life of fake smiles and untrustworthy friends that she had depended on for so long?
* * *
"Mimi? Mimi!" Charlotte whispered from her desk beside Mimi before poking her roughly in the ribs.
"What do you want Charlotte?" Mimi spat, readying herself for another round of teasing.
"Why did you ever start dating goth b-, I mean Matt? You use to have it all. You had everyone in the palm of your hand, and now all you have is a reputation for dating freaks. I just don't understand it, is he really worth social embarrassment?" Charlotte questioned looking forward so that their teacher thought she was listening to the lecture.
Mimi sat still and rigid, her eyes fixed on the chalkboard and her fists clenched in anger. She wanted to break down and cry right in the middle of class, but she wouldn't give them the pleasure of seeing her so weak. "Why are you doing this to me Charlotte? Are you so shallow, so pathetic, that you can't just be happy for me when I am?"
"I am happy for you Mimi… it's just that… it's Shannon, she's so… so…" Charlotte looked around groping for the proper word. "Well she's not you. She puts everyone down if they don't meet her standards, she criticises everything we do, and is constantly putting us down. We need you back Mimi, we need you to claim the position you once held and keep Shannon in line."
Mimi didn't answer. She just couldn't. They just wanted her back so they couldn't feel good about themselves again. They just wanted to use her. But she couldn't deny that she wanted back, that she wanted them to accept her back with open arms, even if it was all false. She yearned for it, she craved it, but she still couldn't betray Matt's trust, even though he was pushing her away. She couldn't do that to him after what had happened, not until she was sure that he didn't need or want her any longer.
"Leave me alone Charlotte," Mimi ordered at last, refusing to even look at her former friend for fear that she would cave and beg her to take her back.
The rest of the week went by without any big incidences, Shannon still kept up all the constant teasing and Charlotte still kept begging Mimi to come back to her former clique. Matt was still pushing.
* * *
"Hello, Mimi speaking," Mimi picked up the phone, portraying a cheering a voice.
"Hey Mimi!" Matt greeted, genuinely happy, "Can you come over?"
Mimi searched her mind to see if she had any prior engagements. She was then hit with the knowledge that lately she had no more prior engagements, "Yeah sure, but isn't your little brother suppose to be coming home today?"
"He is, that's why I want you to be here with me. I want you to meet him and my mom and… and… I need… you here," Matt stuttered trying to close the growing gap between them.
"You need me?" Mimi smiled to herself, all of the pain of the past few days leaving her.
"Yes, I need you," Matt confessed also smiling.
"All right, I'll be there in a few minutes, kay?" she giggled.
"I'll be waiting," Matt agreed. "Bye Mimi."
"Goodbye Matt," Mimi said hanging up the phone.
She jumped up and down a few dozens times before running to her bathroom to fix her hair and make up. She was still screaming with joy when she sprinted from her house and rushed over to Matt's.
He opened the door before she could even knock and pulled her into a warm embrace before kissing her passionately.
"Wow! What was that for?" Mimi smiled, her knees turning to jelly.
"Just cause I missed you so much," Matt smirked seeing his effect on her.
"I don't think you missed me enough," Mimi pouted kissing him again.
Matt's dad, who coughed nervously in the background, interrupted them.
Shocked and a little embarrassed Matt pulled away from Mimi but still kept a firm grasp on her hand.
Mimi was more embarrassed then shocked and lowered her eyes as if in shame.
"Dad," Matt's feelings towards his dad were evident in his voice, "this is Mimi. My girlfriend."
"Well Mimi… it's nice to meet you," Matt's dad shook Mimi's hand, plastering a smile on his face. "So… when's TK going to be here?"
"I don't know, but me and Mimi are going to wait for him in my room," Matt insisted, his voice hash.
"All right," his father sighed retreating to the living room.
Matt led Mimi to his bedroom and shut door behind them. Matt sat down on his bed, looking a little uncomfortable, and Mimi sat beside him. Seconds went by, those that turned into minutes and Mimi realized that Matt was pushing her away again. He didn't hold her hand any longer, he didn't pull her into a loving embrace, he didn't kiss her like he did before. Instead he sat there, unmoving, ridged, staring at the blue wall in of him.
"Why Matt?" Mimi finally gasped, her eyes tearing over, "Why am I here? You don't need me, do you? You just… you just…"
"What are you talking about, Mimi?" Matt looked at her with confusion in his shocking blue eyes.
"I'm talking about you. I'm talking about us! Matt…" Mimi put her hands over her eyes so he wouldn't see her tears. "Matt I can't do this anymore. I can't just sit here and watch you push me away. I can't wait for you to love me any longer. It just hurts too much."
It was crushing Mimi inside, but she had to say it, had to let him know how she felt, had to make him see what he was doing to her.
"You're… you're l-leaving me?" Matt questioned, his throat was dry and he turned back to the wall removing any sigh of emotion from his face.
Matt was good at hiding his emotions, good at showing no feeling, good at being cold. But unlike the rest of the times he had to act so, this time he was having trouble holding back his own threatening tears.
"I don't want to Matt, but I can't live like this any more. You don't need me… you never needed me. I'm so sorry…" Mimi cried, rising to her feet to leave.
"You're sorry… it's them isn't it? It's all those fake, worthless, liars, that you call friends, isn't it? You're caving! You're leaving me for them, aren't you? You'd rather be with them, then with me! You'd rather live in a world of bogus smiles and phony people then live in a world where you can be happy!" Matt accused rising after her.
His voice rose with an anger he never thought he could ever point at Mimi, and his eyes! His eyes scolded her with a denouncing judgement that he couldn't hide any longer. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was, how much he loved her. He wanted to beg her to stay, but his pride wouldn't let him and he stood his ground.
"No! No Matt! You're wrong! It's because of you!" Mimi burst out pointing her finger at him, tears streaming down her face. "You're the reason why I'm leaving! I've tried, I've tried so hard to get close to you! I thought that we were meant to be, but you pushed me away! Just when we were getting somewhere you pushed me away just like your father did to you! You're treating me exactly like your father treated you, and I'm not going to go through that! I'm not going to end up like you!"
The moment her words escaped her lips she regretted them. She struck him at his most vulnerable spot. She took the trust he gave her willingly and she plunged it into him and twisted it like some kind dagger meant to kill.
Before she could apologise he spoke up. He couldn't have made his words harsher even if he was yelling at her, but he wasn't. His voice was calm and chilling, barely audible, "Leave Mimi, just leave. I hope you're happy now Mimi, all I wanted was for you to be happy, but I guess I'm just not the person you need to be happy. Maybe I'm to real for you, maybe I can't lie to your face or hide who I really am from you, but I still loved you."
Mimi stood gaping at Matt. The moment he expressed his real feelings was the moment he wanted her to leave, "Matt… I… please I'm sorr-"
"No Mimi," the words that escaped his lips crushed his soul as he said them. "Just… just go."
Mimi inhaled deeply, her whole body convulsing with shock and pain before she burst out in tears and ran from Matt's room and out the front door. On her way the lobby of the apartment she ran into a boy and fell roughly to the ground.
"Are you all right?" A woman that Mimi assumed was his mother asked helping the boy up.
"I'm so sorry," Mimi cried refusing the boys help. She pulled herself up and ran for the doors to the open street.
"That poor girl, she was crying," the boys mother commented, her eyes following Mimi.
The boys eyes widened with realization, "It can't be!"
"Can't be what TK?" his mother asked concerned.
"Oh no! Matt!" TK gasped, running for Matt's apartment.
"TK! Wait up!" TK's mother cried running after him.
Pounding on the door, TK's father opened the door abruptly and TK pushed right past him looking for Matt's room.
"TK? Is that you?" TK's father was startled to see TK push by him without even saying hello.
"What's wrong with TK?" TK's mother appeared at the door, her breath shallow and quick.
"Nancy?" TK's father gasped, "I didn't know you were coming."
"Yeah well… I came to see Matt," she explained looking uncomfortable.
"Come in," he offered, opening the door wider, "I'm not sure that Matt's up to a visit right now. Him and his girlfriend just had a fight, it was pretty bad."
"Did she have pink hair?" Nancy asked with comprehension.
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
"She crashed into TK on her way out of the building, she looked pretty beat up."
"Matt hit her?"
"No! She looked emotionally beat up, not physically," Nancy sighed. "She looked like she was ready to die, the poor girl."
* * *
"Matt? Matt!" TK cried, bursting into Matt's room.
He found his brother with his back against the wall, his arms wrapped around his legs and his head on his knees. His shoulder shook with silent sobs of heartache.
"Oh Matt," TK gasped, kneeling down beside the brother he hadn't seen in years.
"She left me TK, she left me," Matt coughed out between tears.
"I'm so sorry, Matt," TK sighed giving Matt a reassuring hug.
* * *
"I ended it," Mimi whispered the second Charlotte opened the door to her.
"Everything will be all right, Mimi," Charlotte smiled, "Why don't you come in?"
Mimi nodded numbly. Stepping inside she let Charlotte lead her to her room. She had no idea why she had come to Charlotte's. She had nowhere else to escape to and knew that Charlotte would accept her, if not for the reason of being her friend, then for the selfish reason to get Shannon out of the top ranks of the social ladder.
"What happened Mimi? I want to know everything," Charlotte smirked behind Mimi, her voice viciously heartless.
"I couldn't take it any more… I just snapped at him," Mimi cried into her hands, once seated on Charlotte's bed. "I didn't know! I swear I never knew!"
"Never knew what Mimi?" Charlotte questioned wrapping an arm around Mimi's shoulder.
"I didn't know that he loved me, I didn't know…" Mimi couldn't speak anymore and just cried on Charlotte's shoulder.
Charlotte's smile faded and she finally felt sorry for Mimi. She could now see how much Mimi loved Matt, could see how much she needed him. She inhaled deeply knowing that she would regret what she was about to say. "Is there any way that you could get back… together?"
Mimi was in total shock at Charlotte's words. She never in a million years would have thought that Charlotte would suggest such an option. " I don't know, I hurt him so much… I said… I said some horrible things that I never meant… I…"
"It's all right Mimi, I understand. You don't have to say anything more," Charlotte lied to save her friend the pain and heartache.
* * *
Mimi inhaled deeply smoothing out her new outfit, a short pink summer dress that hugged her every curve. Plastering an all too fake smile on her face she began to walk confidently down the hall on the first day of school that week. The pain she felt in her heart for Matt still echoed throughout her being, and she wished more then anything, at every waking moment, that they had never parted. She saw him every night in her dreams and woke up in a cold sweat, screaming his name.
But she was pushing past those feelings, pushing them to the back of her mind and set forward on the task to reclaim her glorified social status
"Wow! You look great, girl!" Charlotte squealed joining her
"Don't I always?" Mimi smirked making her way purposely to her locker where she knew Shannon would be waiting to deal out another round of torture, only this time Mimi would stand up for herself
"Well if it ain't little miss princess," Shannon sneered, crossing her arms across her ches
"Hello Shannon," Mimi smiled viciously, "You're going to find that things are going to be changing around here.
"How so, princess?" Shannon struck a nerve
Mimi refused to flinch at her remark, memories of Matt already flooding back to her like a crushing wave. "First of all, Matt and I broke up and I've realized how much I don't need him," Mimi lied through her smiled, "Meaning I'm taking over.
"Try me bitch!" Shannon spat, not knowing when to give up a losing battle
"All right," Mimi agreed turning to her peers. "Anyone who wants to be criticised and put down for being different, you can fallow Shannon. Anyone who wants to be themselves, you can hang with me."
Shannon and Mimi's peers immediately went to stand beside Mimi, grateful that they wouldn't be taken advantage of any longer.
"There you are, Shannon," Mimi exclaimed triumphantly.
Shannon stormed off down the hall at her defeat, and the girls around Mimi burst out into giggles of joy and hugged her with gratitude.
Mimi smiled like she always had, and continued on in a way she always did, knowing that she would never be the person who she once was. She knew that she would never be able to last in the counterfeit world she had wanted to return to for so long. She knew she had made the wrong choice.
Mimi sat in the back of class when the bell rang, surrounded by her growing group of followers. Her eyes constantly scanned the classroom for Matt but came up empty. Sighing heavily she sunk deeper into her seat once the teacher demanded silence so that she could begin the lecture. About half on hour into class there was a knock at the door, and the teacher halted in mid sentence to open it.
"Matt Ishida?" she gasped in disbelief when she opened the door.
"The one and only," he smirked half-heartedly stepping into the room.
"Do you have a late slip?" she questioned eyeing him wearily.
"Right here," he handed her the piece of paper, and made his way to his seat at the back of the class beside Mimi.
When the students saw Matt they all fell silent, their eyes wide with shock and their mouths gaping open in doubt. Everyone, including Mimi.
Matt had kept the eyebrow ring but wore a pair of dark blue pants and a light green sweater. His nails were free of nail polish and his fingers were free of the silver rings that previously occupied them.
Mimi couldn't help but stare. What on earth could have ever convinced Matt to change the way he looked?
Throughout class Matt didn't even look at Mimi, he couldn't, it hurt too much knowing that he could never touch her.
When the bell rang Mimi tried to confront him about it but couldn't find the courage to do so and instead went to her locker to get her things for the next class. See didn't see Matt the rest of the morning and took that time to gather her courage so she could confront him at lunch.
She headed straight for his locker when the lunch bell rang but found him standing there with Shannon smiling innocently beside him, batting her eyelashes and licking her lips seductively. Mimi knew Shannon enough to figure out what she was doing. She was trying to use Matt to make her break, to make her snap, and what appalled her most was that Matt was going along with her.
Before tearing over, Mimi let her emotions flood over her in anger instead of sadness so she wouldn't begin to cry. She pushed past the smiling pair in anger, refusing to look at either of them.
"I got to go," Matt said distantly, pushing Shannon aside to go after Mimi.
"Call me!" Shannon shouted over the crowd.
Matt found Mimi sitting under a tree in the buzzing schoolyard alone. Her head was held high, her eyes looking forward blankly, and her hands were noticeably shaking in her lap.
"Mimi, can I talk to you?" Matt asked stepping closer to her, his heart racing, his palms sweating.
"I thought you were better then that, Matt," Mimi forced her voice to stay calm and cool.
"At least I didn't betray your trust," Matt spat in anger. It wasn't what she said though that made him angry it was how she said it.
Mimi closed her eyes tightly wishing she were somewhere else, anywhere else. "What do you want Matt?"
"I don't know anymore Mimi, I really don't know," Matt sighed walking away from her.
She watched him walk away and her heart begged her to call out his name, to end their pain, but her throat was too dry and her voice too unreliable.
The rest of the day, like the weeks to come were sheer hell for both Mimi and Matt. It seemed like everywhere they went the other was always there. Mimi cried herself to sleep every night while Matt never slept because she was always there to plague his dreams with images of their past. They met a few times out side of school but never spoke, instead they passed by each other without even a glance.
Mimi was beginning to get fed up with it and with her own pride. Things had seemed to have returned to normal and she hated it, she hated to be admired by people who wanted her for just her body, and she hated making everyone feel good about themselves when she was dying inside.
"Matt?" she whispered coming up behind him one day in the park.
He turned quickly, startled by her voice, "What?"
"I need to talk to you," she said sitting beside him on the bench.
"We tried talking remember? We'll just end up hurting each other even more," Matt stood up, but Mimi grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.
"Not this time. I promise I'll try not to say anything insulting if you'll just listen to me," she promised looking him in the eye for the first time in weeks.
"I'm all ears," he said coldly, breaking off from her stare.
"I want to tell you how sorry I am, Matt," Mimi began her voice started to shake with uncertainty, "I didn't know how you felt, I swear."
"It doesn't matter now Mimi, what's done is done," Matt tried to get up to leave before he broke down, but she kept a strong hold on him.
"No Matt! What I said, I never meant a word of it, I never meant to hurt you," Mimi cried, her shimmering tears falling down her pale cheeks, "please Matt, we can make it work. I need you Matt… I-I still love you."
Matt swallowed hard and turned to face her. He studied her closely to see if what she said was true, and he found all the confirmation he needed in her eyes. He smiled slightly and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. "I know you do."
He leaned in slowly, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. It felt so good to kiss her again, and it took everything he had to pull away. She tried capturing his lips with her own again, but he stopped her. "But I can't. Our worlds are too different Mimi, I can't live in a false world and you can't live in a real one. I love you Mimi, but I just can't deal with that kind of hurt again, and I know it's going to happen again if we get back together."
"No Matt, I don't need that, I need you," Mimi begged, new tears falling, "Please Matt I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please."
"I'm sorry too, Mimi," Matt murmured, pulling away from her grasp, he left her to cry on the bench in the park.
~ The end ~
How's this for commas dreamwalker? There, is, no, dedication, but, you, can, all, thank, dreamwalker, for, the, not, so, happy, ending. I, understood, the comma, comment, but, you, didn't, have, to be, so, mean, about, the rest, of it! I, know, commas, aren't, my, strong, point. In, fact, I, suck, shi-…crap, doing, commas, but, I'm, working, at, it, so, don't bitc-… bug, me, about, it!
Disclaimer: I do not own digimon that'll happen after world domination.
~ Sins of an Angel ~
"Ah! Oh my God!" Mimi screamed clutching on to Matt's arm and burying her head into his shoulder.
Matt laughed and wrapped his arm protectively around her. He waited until she lifted her head again and smiled mockingly at her.
"It's not funny!" she cried hitting him teasingly on the arm, but still kept as close as possibly to him as her eyes fixed onto the screen they were using to watch a movie.
About half an hour into the movie Mimi already regretted letting Matt choose the movie and spent most of the movie with her eyes tightly closed and her face buried in Matt's shoulder. Matt on the other hand, was enjoying himself immensely. When choosing the movie he took into all accounts of what Mimi's reaction would be and choose the scariest movie he could find, Child's Play.
"Why are so scared Mimi? This is nothing!" Matt explained tightening his grip on her.
"Maybe to you, but this is scaring the crap out of me! I can't stand this!" despite herself, Mimi smiled when she noticed Matt's arm tighten around her.
It had been only two weeks since they had had that first dance class where the gym teacher made them dance together, and only one week since they had "officially" begun to date, and tonight they had decided to watch a movie at Matt's house.
"Matt can we do something else, please?" Mimi begged squeezing her eyes even tighter when she began to hear the fearful screams of one of the movies characters.
Matt sighed theatrically, then turned the movie off with the remote, "What do you want to do, princess?"
Even after they had begun to date Matt still called her princess, most likely out habit, or just because he knew it bugged her.
Mimi rolled her eyes as she lifted her head to look him, "I don't know, but I know I don't want to finish watching that movie! It's still sending chills up and down my spine!"
Mimi could hardly believe she was dating Matt Ishida, the guy who has always been dubbed the "school freak" ever since he moved to Odiaba a little under a year ago. After all, she was the "school princess". Mimi knew she pushing the limit of tolerance of her peers but she couldn't help it, she was falling head over heals for him. She decided she would just have to tread carefully and not give any hints on her relationship with Matt for fear that her friends would disown her out of disgust.
"Why do you dress like that, Matt?" Mimi blurted out without thinking, as always.
Of course that thought had ran across her mind a million times, but she just didn't feel like it was ever the right time to ask. It wasn't as if she minded his black attire or gothic look, she didn't even mind the nail polish, in fact it was kind of a turn on, but Matt never really seemed to have a reason to dress like that.
"Like what?" Matt looked away absently, trying to get away from the subject.
"Like a goth, you know? With all the black," Mimi persisted without realizing Matt's discomfort.
"Well… I… I dress like this…. Because," Matt began trying to decide if he should tell Mimi about his shrouded past. Looking into her understanding honey brown eyes, he decided to tell her everything she wanted to know, knowing that she would never use it against him. "When I was little my dad and my mom… they got divorced."
Mimi's happy demeanour clouded over with sadness. "You don't have to go on if it hurts too much Matt. I understand." Mimi assured knowing very well what the sting of divorce felt like to a young child. She herself was the victim of a vicious court battle between her parents. Her parents had gotten a divorce when she was just six, each one pulling her, trying to gain control, the upper hand. They had done everything from trying to buy her love to bad mouthing the other parent. It tore her up inside and she spent months crying herself to sleep, and spent her days filling every waking moment with anything that would get her mind of the divorce, off her parents.
"No Mimi, it's okay, I can handle this. In a way I guess I need to get it off my chest, get it out in the open." Matt explained inhaling sharply. "My mother left with my little brother TK, and I stayed with my father. As time went on, me and TK saw less and less of each other, until one day, my mom just packed up with TK and left Japan for Canada, something about a job offer. TK and me, we begged and pleaded but she left with tears in her eyes and TK's little hand in her own. I remember everything about the day she left. We were at the airport, dad was standing beside me, his face was void of all expression, all emotion, but I could see the hurt in his eyes as my mother dragged his youngest son and my only brother on the plane with her. The last thing I heard was him screaming my name." Matt closed his eyes, warding of tears that were threatening to fall.
Mimi sat beside him, her features held a concerned look, and her eyes held sadness. She took his hand in her own and intertwined their fingers, giving him the support he needed to go on.
"I haven't seen him in three years, but we talk on the phone every Sunday at seven," Matt smiled fondly at the memories of him and his brothers long conversations together. "When TK and my mom left, my dad began to spend every waking hour at his office, coming home only to sleep and eat. I felt so alone, so betrayed, as if I didn't matter to him any more. I tried to get his attention anyway I could think of. I started out by working my ass off.
"I had the highest mark in everyone of my classes at one of my old schools. At first it worked, he seemed so proud of me and I was so happy, but when the novelty of that wore off everything had returned to what it started at. I gave up at that point suddenly. I just didn't care anymore. My grades dropped from an 'A' average to an 'F' average, I started getting into fights at school. I'd come home every night with a bloody nose and bruised knuckles.
"Once I got into this fight with a kid bigger then I was. I knew I couldn't win, but I fought him any ways. I got in a couple of good punches, I broke his nose, but nothing like he did to me." Matt cringed, as if in pain from just remembering, "I ended up in the hospital with broken nose, a few cracked ribs, a few broken fingers, things like that. That was the point when they expelled me from school, I was surprised they didn't do it sooner, they must have thought it was just some kind of phase or something. When my dad found out he was furious. He yelled at me for what seemed like hours, and when he left the hospital room I remember smiling because he had finally noticed me, even though he was yelling at me. I remember thinking that he had finally noticed I was alive."
"That's horrible Matt," Mimi gasped tears beginning to dwell in her own eyes as well as Matt's.
"After that I gave up the fight thing, I didn't want to end up in the hospital again, or even worse, dead. If it wasn't for TK I'd probably have kept on fighting, but he assured me that he'd be coming home one day, and that he wanted me to be there for him. I knew he was right, he'll be back, and when he does, I'll be here to guide him, protect him.
"When I began school again, at a different school, of course, I began to wear nothing but black. I painted my nails, and got my eyebrow pierced. It took my dad three weeks to notice that one." Matt chuckled harshly, betraying the feelings he felt for his father, "I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs 'Look at me! Look at what you've made me!' but I just couldn't. The second time I was expelled was because I was caught doing drugs in school. The look of utter disappointment on my father's face made me straiten up a little after that. I rethought a few things. I've been clean for over a year now." Mimi gave Matt a proud smile showing her obvious approval of him and he continued on. "I didn't give up the black, instead I just engulfed myself in it, knowing that it would be my whole life, that I would always be somewhere in the shadows watching others smile, watching them laugh, knowing that I would never be the one to smile next.
"I wanted to die Mimi," Matt cried, his tears beginning to make their journey down his soft pale skin, "for the longest time I just wanted to die."
"Oh Matt," Mimi sobbed, her own tears streaking down her face as she gently wiped his away, "I'm so glad you didn't."
She smiled fondly at him before bring him into a loving embrace, her arms wrapping around him protectively. She sat there for the longest time, stroking his hair as he cried into her shirt.
It had been so long since he had shed tears, so long in fact that he had thought he was incapable of crying any longer. But she had proved him wrong, like she so often did. In the few weeks that they had become friends, and so much more, she seemed to prove almost every one of his theories on life wrong. She was always so happy, even when everything around her was falling apart. He just didn't get it, but that was one of her biggest charms to him.
They fell asleep like that, him wrapped protectively in her arms. They were too deep in sleep to hear Matt's dad come in through the front door quietly. He entered the living room, almost afraid to find what Matt had gotten himself into this time, when he first saw Mimi's pink shoes laying neatly by the door.
To his surprise he found Matt in the arms of a young woman he had never met, but on the first sight of her, knew that she was the reason why Matt had been so happy the last couple of days, the reason Matt had been changing. And to his relief they were fully clothed. He smiled slightly, all the pride and admiration for his son that for some reason he just couldn't express towards him shining through his uncaring exterior.
He left them to sleep before retiring to his own room to get a couple of hours of sleep before heading back to work. Like always when he thought about just how much time he spent at work he felt a large pang of quilt piercing his soul, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't will himself to spend some well needed personal time with his eldest son. Matt's father went to bed thinking that perhaps this new girl that had waltzed into Matt's life could give Matt what he never could, could give Matt what he needed.
* * *
Mimi approached the group of girls that stood in the middle of the hall, gossiping over this and that. She paused before joining the group, smoothing out her new outfit. A new pink mini skirt with matching crop top and black vest with matching boots. If the girls she hanged with cared about anything, they cared about looks, and she had the newest look straight from Hollywood.
"Mimi! Oh my God! That is such an amazing outfit!" Charlotte squealed, embracing Mimi as she came to stand with the others.
"Thank you," Mimi smiled back, hugging Charlotte back awkwardly. For the first time in years she felt uncomfortable making contact with these people she called friends.
"Yeah, Mimi, were did you get that outfit? It's so cool!" a girl named Toby admired her outfit.
"Isn't it?" Mimi smiled brightly. It was as if they had forgotten she had ever begun to date Matt.
"Oh please," Shannon sneered, her face contorting with jealousy, "That look is so five minutes ago."
The girls that surrounded them looked lost and confused as of which side to take in the matter. Shannon had become the leader of their little clique when Mimi had begun to date the social outcast, but Mimi had this charm about her that made being around her make everyone feel good about themselves, because she never put anyone down. Slowly they began to side with Shannon, looking almost guilty when Mimi looked at them questionably.
Tears welled in Mimi's eyes, but she held them back, refusing to show any sign of weakness towards them, "And what would you suggest I wear, Shannon? I hope it's not what you're wearing, that would just be insulting."
The others gasped, and watched Shannon closely to gauge her response.
"Hmm…" Shannon smiled wickedly, resting her finger on her lips as if to be in thought, "Maybe you should try a black robe, at least you'd match with your new boyfriend."
"At least I have a boyfriend," Mimi spat back, raising herself to her full height.
"I'd never want to date a goth," Shannon challenged looking down at Mimi's small but confident form.
"That's because people like Matt would never date trash like you!" Mimi could feel anger flow through her veins like blood, releasing her adrenaline.
"So it's Matt now, is it?" Shannon mocked stepping dangerously close to Mimi, "Tell me Mimi, have you made wedding plans yet?"
Mimi mumbled something under her breath through clenched teeth.
"What was that?" Shannon smirked triumphantly.
"I believed the word I used was bitch," Mimi smirked back, then turned, her head held high, leaving the dumbstruck girls gaping in the hallway.
Once out of site Mimi sprinted to the washroom, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't believe what she had done. She had lost all the approval and support of all the people she had once called friends. They abandoned her just because she dated someone that they had deemed a freak. The world she cherished and knew was falling apart about her feet.
Why? Why had the people she trusted and confided in abandoned her? She looked in the mirror wiping away all her tears, knowing very well what the answer was.
It was all because of Matt. Sweet, loving, different, Matt. Why couldn't they see what a great person he truly was? Why couldn't they get past what he looked like? It made her so angry that they couldn't get past a person's looks, that they couldn't take the time to get to know who they really were.
At the same time though she felt a desperate need to gain their approval once again, to be the person she once was. Dreadful realisation dawned on Mimi when she began to think of all the things she could do to gain their so needed approval. If she dumped Matt and begged their forgiveness they'd accept her again. But could she really do that? Could she betray his trust that he placed so lovingly in her hands? When she couldn't give herself a straight, honest answer, she turned leaving the bathroom to get to her first class.
The hours of the miserable day went by agonisingly slow, and Mimi had wished more then once that she could just crawl under a rock and die. Especially when her former friends gave her looks of pity and began snickering behind her back. She would catch tiny fragments of conversation when no one thought she was listening. She'd hear things like, "She use to be so cool, but now…" or "How could she even touch that freak?" even, "She's such a disappointment!"
Managing to go the whole day without breaking down into fits of tears, Mimi made a mad dash for home and collapsed onto her bed to cry out all the days tears. She sat up stiffly, wiping away her tears and clearing her throat before picking up the ringing phone,
"Tachikawa residence, Mimi speaking," she managed in fake, light, cheery tone.
"Are you all right, Mimi?" Matt's voice came through.
"Why do you ask?" Mimi smiled at the sound of his concerned voice.
"Because your voice is happier then usual," Matt informed.
"Maybe I just got a new outfit?" Mimi challenged playfully, already feeling better.
"In the twelve minutes that you just got home? I don't think so," she could hear Matt laugh before continuing on, "I know how people act when they're miserable Mimi, and you sound really miserable."
"I am," Mimi confessed flinging herself back onto the bed theatrically even though no one could see her.
"Why?" he asked simply.
"Some things happened at school today, nothing big," she partially lied.
"It's because of me, isn't it?" Matt asked his voice was laced with regret and had a melancholy tone to it.
"No!" Mimi gasped a little too quickly, letting Matt know it was. "It has nothing to do with you, I swear."
"Sure," Matt agreed absently, "listen I have to go, all right? I'll call you later, kay?"
"I'm looking forward to it," she sighed truthfully before hearing a deafening click of the disconnection. She held on until the recorded voice of a woman told he that no one was on the line.
She hung up knowing she had blown it big time with Matt. What was she ever going to do now? The first guy in her life that ever saw her for what she truly was and not some object, was pulling away from her and the friends she trusted were abandoning her. She knew she had to choose one or the other before she lost both, but that choice weighed heavily on her shoulders for the rest of the week because she was unable to make that choice.
Everyday the teasing would get worse and worse, and everyday Matt would inch that much further away from her. Time was growing short, and she would lose them both if she didn't move soon.
* * *
Matt sat anxiously on his couch, glancing at the phone every few seconds while drumming mindless tunes with his fingers on the coffee table before him. It was 7:03 and TK hadn't phoned yet. He always phoned at 7:00!
When the phone finally rang Matt darted for it, knocking the base of the phone to the floor and almost falling off the couch in the process.
"TK?" Matt questioned his voice tight with tension.
"Matt? Matt!" TK cried excitedly into the phone from Canada.
Matt inhaled deeply, his brother's voice already beginning to calm him down. "Hey TK, what's up?" Matt asked coolly.
Matt heard TK laugh before he responded, "I'm doing pretty great, what about you?"
"Same old, same old," Matt picked up the base of the phone and sat comfortably on the couch preparing himself for at least an hour of talking to his greatly missed brother.
"Sure," TK chuckled. "Guess what!"
"What?" Matt smirked at his brother's child like excitement that emanated from his voice.
"I met this really cool girl on the Internet!" TK began. Matt knew TK was smiling on the other side of the line. "I was on this fan fiction site and they had a chat. So I thought, hey, what the hell, right? And this girl named Light Angel was on and we started chatting. It was so cool! She likes all these cool things, and we have so much in common! Later I found out that her name was Kari Kamiya, and she lives in Japan! It's so cool, she's thirteen just like me, and she sent me a picture! She has short brown hair and these amazing brown eyes! She's so beautiful!"
Matt listened to TK ramble on about his dream girl for a few more minutes before interrupting, "That's great TK!"
"I know! It's so amazing! Oh! What's happening with you and…Mimi, right?" TK questioned cheerfully changing the subject like he often did. When he heard nothing but silence from Matt he spoke up again, "Matt? Is there something wrong with you and Mimi?"
"I… I don't know TK," Matt sighed audibly.
"Yes you do!" TK accused seeing right through Matt's visage.
"All right," Matt caved in, "some things are happening at school. Her friends are abandoning her because she's dating me, they tease her endlessly. I just don't know if I can let her suffer like that, TK, all because of me. I think I'm going to… break it off…" Matt ended quietly, almost shamefully.
"I thought you really liked her, Matt," TK said disappointedly.
"I do!" Matt assured, "I like her a lot, I like her more then I've ever liked anyone, but I can't let her suffer like that."
"Matt, the people who Mimi thought were her friends obviously weren't if they're making fun of her because she's dating you," TK said wisely, "Do you make her happy?"
"What? What kind of question is that?" Matt asked startled.
"Just answer the question Matt!" Matt knew that TK was rolling his eyes at him.
"She seems happy when she's around me…"
"Matt!"
"All right! Yes, I make he happy!"
"Then whoever is Mimi's real friend will be happy for her because she found someone that could make her happy."
"Thanks TK, I guess I was wrong," Matt admitted laying back into the couch.
"As always," TK said proudly his voice was enough to tell Matt that he was smiling.
"Hey! I'm not always wrong, you know?" Matt chuckled.
"Yeah, you're right. You're only wrong when it comes to the important things," TK burst out laughing taking Matt with him.
"Oh! Guess what else!" TK blurted out, between gasps of breath and fits of laughter.
"What?" Matt asked trying to breath.
"Mom says we're moving back!"
Matt ceased laughing and was silent for a great amount of time.
"Matt? Matt, I'm coming home," TK said joy radiating from every fibre of his being.
"Oh my God! You're not serious, are you?" Matt burst out.
"I've never been more serious in my life!" TK beamed.
"That's… that's amazing TK! When? Why? Where are you going to live?" Matt was almost crying he was so happy.
"Let me see…" TK paused a moment to think, "umm… in about a week I think, maybe two. Mom got a better job offer then she has now, and mom says she's going to move as close as she can to you and dad!"
They continued on about TK's moving for few hours before TK had to go. Matt hung up reluctantly, but picked up the phone and hit speed dial two.
"Hello?" a groggy voice answered on the third ring.
"Mimi?" Matt questioned unsure of who it was.
"Matt? Matt, is that you?" she answered glancing at the clock on her wall, "it's almost ten."
"I know but I just had to phone you! TK's coming home! He and my mom are moving back to Japan!" Matt cried ecstatically.
"What? That's great Matt!" Mimi congratulated becoming wide awake.
"I can't wait! He's going to be here in about a week or two! I can't wait to see him, it's been almost forever!"
"I'm so happy for you Matt! That's great, so what are you going to do once they get here?" Mimi seemed a bit drowsier now.
"I… I don't know," Matt admitted, "I guess I'll figure it out when they get here!"
"Did you tell your father?"
"No… not yet. I guess I'll have to…" Matt realized, his excitement depleting.
"Matt? Are you all right?" Mimi sounded concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Matt lied, "I'll talk to you later, I have to go, kay?"
"…kay." Mimi answered back, her voice small.
Upon hanging up, Mimi broke down, her face in her hands and her elbows on her knees. She felt so ashamed for taking Matt's excitement away by mentioning his dad. She felt so stupid. Most of all though she felt alone, Matt was pushing her away again.
He was making her decision a little easier though, and that made her feel any worse. Was it really worth the tears to try to get closer to Matt? To try to get him to love her? Or should she settle on the life of fake smiles and untrustworthy friends that she had depended on for so long?
* * *
"Mimi? Mimi!" Charlotte whispered from her desk beside Mimi before poking her roughly in the ribs.
"What do you want Charlotte?" Mimi spat, readying herself for another round of teasing.
"Why did you ever start dating goth b-, I mean Matt? You use to have it all. You had everyone in the palm of your hand, and now all you have is a reputation for dating freaks. I just don't understand it, is he really worth social embarrassment?" Charlotte questioned looking forward so that their teacher thought she was listening to the lecture.
Mimi sat still and rigid, her eyes fixed on the chalkboard and her fists clenched in anger. She wanted to break down and cry right in the middle of class, but she wouldn't give them the pleasure of seeing her so weak. "Why are you doing this to me Charlotte? Are you so shallow, so pathetic, that you can't just be happy for me when I am?"
"I am happy for you Mimi… it's just that… it's Shannon, she's so… so…" Charlotte looked around groping for the proper word. "Well she's not you. She puts everyone down if they don't meet her standards, she criticises everything we do, and is constantly putting us down. We need you back Mimi, we need you to claim the position you once held and keep Shannon in line."
Mimi didn't answer. She just couldn't. They just wanted her back so they couldn't feel good about themselves again. They just wanted to use her. But she couldn't deny that she wanted back, that she wanted them to accept her back with open arms, even if it was all false. She yearned for it, she craved it, but she still couldn't betray Matt's trust, even though he was pushing her away. She couldn't do that to him after what had happened, not until she was sure that he didn't need or want her any longer.
"Leave me alone Charlotte," Mimi ordered at last, refusing to even look at her former friend for fear that she would cave and beg her to take her back.
The rest of the week went by without any big incidences, Shannon still kept up all the constant teasing and Charlotte still kept begging Mimi to come back to her former clique. Matt was still pushing.
* * *
"Hello, Mimi speaking," Mimi picked up the phone, portraying a cheering a voice.
"Hey Mimi!" Matt greeted, genuinely happy, "Can you come over?"
Mimi searched her mind to see if she had any prior engagements. She was then hit with the knowledge that lately she had no more prior engagements, "Yeah sure, but isn't your little brother suppose to be coming home today?"
"He is, that's why I want you to be here with me. I want you to meet him and my mom and… and… I need… you here," Matt stuttered trying to close the growing gap between them.
"You need me?" Mimi smiled to herself, all of the pain of the past few days leaving her.
"Yes, I need you," Matt confessed also smiling.
"All right, I'll be there in a few minutes, kay?" she giggled.
"I'll be waiting," Matt agreed. "Bye Mimi."
"Goodbye Matt," Mimi said hanging up the phone.
She jumped up and down a few dozens times before running to her bathroom to fix her hair and make up. She was still screaming with joy when she sprinted from her house and rushed over to Matt's.
He opened the door before she could even knock and pulled her into a warm embrace before kissing her passionately.
"Wow! What was that for?" Mimi smiled, her knees turning to jelly.
"Just cause I missed you so much," Matt smirked seeing his effect on her.
"I don't think you missed me enough," Mimi pouted kissing him again.
Matt's dad, who coughed nervously in the background, interrupted them.
Shocked and a little embarrassed Matt pulled away from Mimi but still kept a firm grasp on her hand.
Mimi was more embarrassed then shocked and lowered her eyes as if in shame.
"Dad," Matt's feelings towards his dad were evident in his voice, "this is Mimi. My girlfriend."
"Well Mimi… it's nice to meet you," Matt's dad shook Mimi's hand, plastering a smile on his face. "So… when's TK going to be here?"
"I don't know, but me and Mimi are going to wait for him in my room," Matt insisted, his voice hash.
"All right," his father sighed retreating to the living room.
Matt led Mimi to his bedroom and shut door behind them. Matt sat down on his bed, looking a little uncomfortable, and Mimi sat beside him. Seconds went by, those that turned into minutes and Mimi realized that Matt was pushing her away again. He didn't hold her hand any longer, he didn't pull her into a loving embrace, he didn't kiss her like he did before. Instead he sat there, unmoving, ridged, staring at the blue wall in of him.
"Why Matt?" Mimi finally gasped, her eyes tearing over, "Why am I here? You don't need me, do you? You just… you just…"
"What are you talking about, Mimi?" Matt looked at her with confusion in his shocking blue eyes.
"I'm talking about you. I'm talking about us! Matt…" Mimi put her hands over her eyes so he wouldn't see her tears. "Matt I can't do this anymore. I can't just sit here and watch you push me away. I can't wait for you to love me any longer. It just hurts too much."
It was crushing Mimi inside, but she had to say it, had to let him know how she felt, had to make him see what he was doing to her.
"You're… you're l-leaving me?" Matt questioned, his throat was dry and he turned back to the wall removing any sigh of emotion from his face.
Matt was good at hiding his emotions, good at showing no feeling, good at being cold. But unlike the rest of the times he had to act so, this time he was having trouble holding back his own threatening tears.
"I don't want to Matt, but I can't live like this any more. You don't need me… you never needed me. I'm so sorry…" Mimi cried, rising to her feet to leave.
"You're sorry… it's them isn't it? It's all those fake, worthless, liars, that you call friends, isn't it? You're caving! You're leaving me for them, aren't you? You'd rather be with them, then with me! You'd rather live in a world of bogus smiles and phony people then live in a world where you can be happy!" Matt accused rising after her.
His voice rose with an anger he never thought he could ever point at Mimi, and his eyes! His eyes scolded her with a denouncing judgement that he couldn't hide any longer. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was, how much he loved her. He wanted to beg her to stay, but his pride wouldn't let him and he stood his ground.
"No! No Matt! You're wrong! It's because of you!" Mimi burst out pointing her finger at him, tears streaming down her face. "You're the reason why I'm leaving! I've tried, I've tried so hard to get close to you! I thought that we were meant to be, but you pushed me away! Just when we were getting somewhere you pushed me away just like your father did to you! You're treating me exactly like your father treated you, and I'm not going to go through that! I'm not going to end up like you!"
The moment her words escaped her lips she regretted them. She struck him at his most vulnerable spot. She took the trust he gave her willingly and she plunged it into him and twisted it like some kind dagger meant to kill.
Before she could apologise he spoke up. He couldn't have made his words harsher even if he was yelling at her, but he wasn't. His voice was calm and chilling, barely audible, "Leave Mimi, just leave. I hope you're happy now Mimi, all I wanted was for you to be happy, but I guess I'm just not the person you need to be happy. Maybe I'm to real for you, maybe I can't lie to your face or hide who I really am from you, but I still loved you."
Mimi stood gaping at Matt. The moment he expressed his real feelings was the moment he wanted her to leave, "Matt… I… please I'm sorr-"
"No Mimi," the words that escaped his lips crushed his soul as he said them. "Just… just go."
Mimi inhaled deeply, her whole body convulsing with shock and pain before she burst out in tears and ran from Matt's room and out the front door. On her way the lobby of the apartment she ran into a boy and fell roughly to the ground.
"Are you all right?" A woman that Mimi assumed was his mother asked helping the boy up.
"I'm so sorry," Mimi cried refusing the boys help. She pulled herself up and ran for the doors to the open street.
"That poor girl, she was crying," the boys mother commented, her eyes following Mimi.
The boys eyes widened with realization, "It can't be!"
"Can't be what TK?" his mother asked concerned.
"Oh no! Matt!" TK gasped, running for Matt's apartment.
"TK! Wait up!" TK's mother cried running after him.
Pounding on the door, TK's father opened the door abruptly and TK pushed right past him looking for Matt's room.
"TK? Is that you?" TK's father was startled to see TK push by him without even saying hello.
"What's wrong with TK?" TK's mother appeared at the door, her breath shallow and quick.
"Nancy?" TK's father gasped, "I didn't know you were coming."
"Yeah well… I came to see Matt," she explained looking uncomfortable.
"Come in," he offered, opening the door wider, "I'm not sure that Matt's up to a visit right now. Him and his girlfriend just had a fight, it was pretty bad."
"Did she have pink hair?" Nancy asked with comprehension.
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
"She crashed into TK on her way out of the building, she looked pretty beat up."
"Matt hit her?"
"No! She looked emotionally beat up, not physically," Nancy sighed. "She looked like she was ready to die, the poor girl."
* * *
"Matt? Matt!" TK cried, bursting into Matt's room.
He found his brother with his back against the wall, his arms wrapped around his legs and his head on his knees. His shoulder shook with silent sobs of heartache.
"Oh Matt," TK gasped, kneeling down beside the brother he hadn't seen in years.
"She left me TK, she left me," Matt coughed out between tears.
"I'm so sorry, Matt," TK sighed giving Matt a reassuring hug.
* * *
"I ended it," Mimi whispered the second Charlotte opened the door to her.
"Everything will be all right, Mimi," Charlotte smiled, "Why don't you come in?"
Mimi nodded numbly. Stepping inside she let Charlotte lead her to her room. She had no idea why she had come to Charlotte's. She had nowhere else to escape to and knew that Charlotte would accept her, if not for the reason of being her friend, then for the selfish reason to get Shannon out of the top ranks of the social ladder.
"What happened Mimi? I want to know everything," Charlotte smirked behind Mimi, her voice viciously heartless.
"I couldn't take it any more… I just snapped at him," Mimi cried into her hands, once seated on Charlotte's bed. "I didn't know! I swear I never knew!"
"Never knew what Mimi?" Charlotte questioned wrapping an arm around Mimi's shoulder.
"I didn't know that he loved me, I didn't know…" Mimi couldn't speak anymore and just cried on Charlotte's shoulder.
Charlotte's smile faded and she finally felt sorry for Mimi. She could now see how much Mimi loved Matt, could see how much she needed him. She inhaled deeply knowing that she would regret what she was about to say. "Is there any way that you could get back… together?"
Mimi was in total shock at Charlotte's words. She never in a million years would have thought that Charlotte would suggest such an option. " I don't know, I hurt him so much… I said… I said some horrible things that I never meant… I…"
"It's all right Mimi, I understand. You don't have to say anything more," Charlotte lied to save her friend the pain and heartache.
* * *
Mimi inhaled deeply smoothing out her new outfit, a short pink summer dress that hugged her every curve. Plastering an all too fake smile on her face she began to walk confidently down the hall on the first day of school that week. The pain she felt in her heart for Matt still echoed throughout her being, and she wished more then anything, at every waking moment, that they had never parted. She saw him every night in her dreams and woke up in a cold sweat, screaming his name.
But she was pushing past those feelings, pushing them to the back of her mind and set forward on the task to reclaim her glorified social status
"Wow! You look great, girl!" Charlotte squealed joining her
"Don't I always?" Mimi smirked making her way purposely to her locker where she knew Shannon would be waiting to deal out another round of torture, only this time Mimi would stand up for herself
"Well if it ain't little miss princess," Shannon sneered, crossing her arms across her ches
"Hello Shannon," Mimi smiled viciously, "You're going to find that things are going to be changing around here.
"How so, princess?" Shannon struck a nerve
Mimi refused to flinch at her remark, memories of Matt already flooding back to her like a crushing wave. "First of all, Matt and I broke up and I've realized how much I don't need him," Mimi lied through her smiled, "Meaning I'm taking over.
"Try me bitch!" Shannon spat, not knowing when to give up a losing battle
"All right," Mimi agreed turning to her peers. "Anyone who wants to be criticised and put down for being different, you can fallow Shannon. Anyone who wants to be themselves, you can hang with me."
Shannon and Mimi's peers immediately went to stand beside Mimi, grateful that they wouldn't be taken advantage of any longer.
"There you are, Shannon," Mimi exclaimed triumphantly.
Shannon stormed off down the hall at her defeat, and the girls around Mimi burst out into giggles of joy and hugged her with gratitude.
Mimi smiled like she always had, and continued on in a way she always did, knowing that she would never be the person who she once was. She knew that she would never be able to last in the counterfeit world she had wanted to return to for so long. She knew she had made the wrong choice.
Mimi sat in the back of class when the bell rang, surrounded by her growing group of followers. Her eyes constantly scanned the classroom for Matt but came up empty. Sighing heavily she sunk deeper into her seat once the teacher demanded silence so that she could begin the lecture. About half on hour into class there was a knock at the door, and the teacher halted in mid sentence to open it.
"Matt Ishida?" she gasped in disbelief when she opened the door.
"The one and only," he smirked half-heartedly stepping into the room.
"Do you have a late slip?" she questioned eyeing him wearily.
"Right here," he handed her the piece of paper, and made his way to his seat at the back of the class beside Mimi.
When the students saw Matt they all fell silent, their eyes wide with shock and their mouths gaping open in doubt. Everyone, including Mimi.
Matt had kept the eyebrow ring but wore a pair of dark blue pants and a light green sweater. His nails were free of nail polish and his fingers were free of the silver rings that previously occupied them.
Mimi couldn't help but stare. What on earth could have ever convinced Matt to change the way he looked?
Throughout class Matt didn't even look at Mimi, he couldn't, it hurt too much knowing that he could never touch her.
When the bell rang Mimi tried to confront him about it but couldn't find the courage to do so and instead went to her locker to get her things for the next class. See didn't see Matt the rest of the morning and took that time to gather her courage so she could confront him at lunch.
She headed straight for his locker when the lunch bell rang but found him standing there with Shannon smiling innocently beside him, batting her eyelashes and licking her lips seductively. Mimi knew Shannon enough to figure out what she was doing. She was trying to use Matt to make her break, to make her snap, and what appalled her most was that Matt was going along with her.
Before tearing over, Mimi let her emotions flood over her in anger instead of sadness so she wouldn't begin to cry. She pushed past the smiling pair in anger, refusing to look at either of them.
"I got to go," Matt said distantly, pushing Shannon aside to go after Mimi.
"Call me!" Shannon shouted over the crowd.
Matt found Mimi sitting under a tree in the buzzing schoolyard alone. Her head was held high, her eyes looking forward blankly, and her hands were noticeably shaking in her lap.
"Mimi, can I talk to you?" Matt asked stepping closer to her, his heart racing, his palms sweating.
"I thought you were better then that, Matt," Mimi forced her voice to stay calm and cool.
"At least I didn't betray your trust," Matt spat in anger. It wasn't what she said though that made him angry it was how she said it.
Mimi closed her eyes tightly wishing she were somewhere else, anywhere else. "What do you want Matt?"
"I don't know anymore Mimi, I really don't know," Matt sighed walking away from her.
She watched him walk away and her heart begged her to call out his name, to end their pain, but her throat was too dry and her voice too unreliable.
The rest of the day, like the weeks to come were sheer hell for both Mimi and Matt. It seemed like everywhere they went the other was always there. Mimi cried herself to sleep every night while Matt never slept because she was always there to plague his dreams with images of their past. They met a few times out side of school but never spoke, instead they passed by each other without even a glance.
Mimi was beginning to get fed up with it and with her own pride. Things had seemed to have returned to normal and she hated it, she hated to be admired by people who wanted her for just her body, and she hated making everyone feel good about themselves when she was dying inside.
"Matt?" she whispered coming up behind him one day in the park.
He turned quickly, startled by her voice, "What?"
"I need to talk to you," she said sitting beside him on the bench.
"We tried talking remember? We'll just end up hurting each other even more," Matt stood up, but Mimi grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.
"Not this time. I promise I'll try not to say anything insulting if you'll just listen to me," she promised looking him in the eye for the first time in weeks.
"I'm all ears," he said coldly, breaking off from her stare.
"I want to tell you how sorry I am, Matt," Mimi began her voice started to shake with uncertainty, "I didn't know how you felt, I swear."
"It doesn't matter now Mimi, what's done is done," Matt tried to get up to leave before he broke down, but she kept a strong hold on him.
"No Matt! What I said, I never meant a word of it, I never meant to hurt you," Mimi cried, her shimmering tears falling down her pale cheeks, "please Matt, we can make it work. I need you Matt… I-I still love you."
Matt swallowed hard and turned to face her. He studied her closely to see if what she said was true, and he found all the confirmation he needed in her eyes. He smiled slightly and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. "I know you do."
He leaned in slowly, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. It felt so good to kiss her again, and it took everything he had to pull away. She tried capturing his lips with her own again, but he stopped her. "But I can't. Our worlds are too different Mimi, I can't live in a false world and you can't live in a real one. I love you Mimi, but I just can't deal with that kind of hurt again, and I know it's going to happen again if we get back together."
"No Matt, I don't need that, I need you," Mimi begged, new tears falling, "Please Matt I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please."
"I'm sorry too, Mimi," Matt murmured, pulling away from her grasp, he left her to cry on the bench in the park.
~ The end ~