Anaubrey Shannon © 2013
Harry Potter © JK Rowling
I don't own Harry Potter, I am just making you feel all the feels with what JK Rowling left to our interpretation.
A/N: I think that considering everything that Harry has lost in his life, he would probably be a paranoid wreck for the first couple months of Ginny's pregnancy with James.
From what Ginny had heard about pregnancy, it was no walk in the park. The many Weasley mothers in her life told her about the routine occurrences of morning sickness, the odd cravings, and the mood swings. What Ginny feared more than anything else she heard was how accelerated the gestation would feel after the halfway mark. Not even the thought of labor worried her as much as this.
She had luckily been spared the copious amounts of being sick, much to the chagrin of her hot-tempered, French, and once again pregnant sister-in-law Fleur, who had been to the loo nearly every day for the first month of her previous pregnancy. Ginny thought she would have had more to say, but she merely huffed impatiently and glided away with her daughter Victoire in her arms.
Ginny hadn't had any drastic changes in her emotions, despite also being told that she would hate Harry for most of the gestation period. This confused her more than anything else because Harry had hardly done anything that she could be mad at him for. He'd been absolutely lovely, doing everything he could to make her comfortable. He doubled his efforts ten-fold once she was four months along.
He took care of the nursery arrangements nearly all himself. Ginny gave plenty of input on what kind of furniture that she wanted. To her surprise, Harry raised no objections when she told him she wanted to have everything set up in their bedroom, and the frenzied manner in which he went about the preparations made her think that he was acting more like a pregnant, nesting mother than she was.
She scarcely had time alone with her baby bump because Harry's habitual pose ever since she started showing was with his face near her belly, often with his ear glued to anywhere she had felt the baby kick. He did this so often, it was like he had a tic, like he was listening to see if the baby was still there every time. Ginny's exasperation at this quickly turned into a nagging irritation. She didn't feel like she was his wife anymore, he was so hung up on her stomach. Only once had it made Ginny angry enough to yell at him.
Harry had come home from work, announcing that he was now on paternity leave, but instead of greeting Ginny like he normally did, he immediately swooped down to listen to her stomach. To Harry's and even her surprise, she swatted him over the head.
"HARRY! I am getting so sick of having you glued to my stomach all the time! The baby has been there every single time you've listened in, and I am certain that's where the baby will still be when you leave the room! Stop staring at my stomach like I'm at risk of a miscarriage every second of the day!"
Harry's hurt expression as he stood up and the word "miscarriage" made something clunk in place in her brain.
Miscarriage. Was that what Harry was worrying about? His behavior was finally making sense having said the word aloud.
Ginny hadn't realized that she'd not said a word in over a minute since her outburst until Harry gave a hearty sniff. There were tears flowing down his face. She felt an unpleasant shiver crawl up her spine. There were very few things that she had witnessed that could so easily bring him to tears. She had always been accustomed to righteous anger or dour silence, even amid the direst circumstances of his life.
"Well, you said it Gin. Miscarriage isn't always on my mind, but it is a large concern for me. I have so much to gain from this, but I am a man who has lost so much. Even after all the good things that have happened in my life, such as achieving my ambitions, witnessing Ron and Hermione becoming a couple, marrying you, raising Teddy, watching so many members of our family have children, I can't help but wonder if it will come crashing down if I get too comfortable."
Ginny was gradually feeling more disgusted with herself for slapping her husband. Harry removed his glasses and continued to speak, lying on the couch with his hands over his eyes. It sounded like he'd had a lot of time to think about the words he said next.
"I know it is unhealthy for me to think this way, but it's a hard habit to break when I grew up expecting to have good things taken from me. I've lost too many loved ones already, and I've rebuilt some sense of happiness and normalcy despite those losses, but I think you losing this baby would break me, and I am scared out of my wits."
All of Ginny's worries and anger seemed insignificant and ludicrous compared to the depth of what Harry had just revealed. Burning with shame and hoping for forgiveness, she crossed to Harry, sat on top of him, gently placing his glasses back on his face and placed his hands on her stomach before speaking:
"I shouldn't have slapped you. I never asked you why you were guarding my stomach so closely, and I was feeling annoyed because I felt like I was becoming an object to you, like I was just a pregnant woman and not your wife. It seems preposterous that I would have ever thought along those lines in the first place. I don't feel that way anymore. Right now, I feel like the two people who you love most in the world."
At those words, Harry closed the small distance between them by kissing his wife. Without any other words exchanged, they carefully removed one another's clothing and made love. There was plenty of awkwardness and laughter from a combination of maneuvering around Ginny's baby bump and their decision to shag on their sitting room couch instead of the bed, but it was probably one of the most significant physical connections they had made together yet.
Afterward, the couple migrated to their bedroom, not wanting to push their luck at the fact that they had been able to have sex in a high traffic area of their house without someone walking in. They were lying side by side on their bed when a cringe worthy thought crossed Harry's mind.
"Can you imagine how Ron would have reacted if he had walked in on us like that?"
"He's gained a lot more tact since he started dating Hermione, but he probably thinks that I am sworn to celibacy now that I'm knocked up. You probably shouldn't have taught him to do that Bat-Bogey Hex so well when you led the Defense against the Dark Arts section of Auror training. He'd probably do a worse job on you than I ever would these days."
Wincing at the thought, Harry changed the subject.
"Have you been thinking about any names yet, Gin?"
"I have, but I either don't like what I've chosen or I don't feel entitled to any of the names I thought up. My first instinct was to have some part of the baby's name be Fred if it was a boy, but I think that would only be appropriate for George to do with Angelina."
"Have you thought about names if we have a girl?"
"If my mother is an example to go by, I am almost completely convinced that this baby will be a boy. I'm sure we'll think of a lovely girl's name if it turns out I am wrong, but I am approaching this with a bit of pragmatism. What ideas have you been kicking around?"
Harry scooted closer and looked Ginny in the eyes.
"I was thinking that since I never knew my dad, and my godfather died before we could live together like I wanted, we could name our baby James Sirius."
"James Sirius Potter?" Ginny's eyes suddenly misted over and gazed at her baby bump intently.
"Too many deceased people?" Harry inquired worriedly.
"No, no. I think it's perfect. I love it. James Sirius Potter."
Harry and Ginny were positively beaming at this decision and held each other closer. With their earlier drama resolved, Harry placed his right ear to Ginny's belly in order to continue facing her, and listened to the heartbeats of the two people he loved most in the world.