Pretender

Invisible

It was lunch break at Karakura High School, but Ishida Uryuu was still in the classroom. He liked to be alone, chose to be alone for lunch. None of his classmates seemed to partake in any of his hobbies – in fact he had never met anyone who liked the same weird combination of things he did – it was lonely at times, but after nearly two decades he had gotten used to it. Being alone meant not having to put up with Kurosaki Ichigo and his loud friends' antics and it meant exploring the one power no one knew he had… The power of invisibility.

He had finished his bento in ten minutes – another advantage of solitude was that he could hold conversations in his head without having to occupy his mouth with anything other than food – and had decided to work on one of the handicrafts club's latest projects. Ishida prided himself in always being ahead of schedule.

The black button eyes of a bunny plushie had just been sewed in place, when the girls walked into the classroom with the snacks they had bought at the school cafeteria. They gathered around Arisawa Tatsuki's desk at the back of the classroom, never once halting in their conversation. Ishida did not blame them, he knew they had not even seen him. He was – after all – quite easily overlooked.

'And what movie did you watch?' Arisawa asked sounding slightly bored. It seemed they had been talking about a date Natsui Mahana had had on the weekend. They would probably be mortified if they knew he was listening so Ishida kept really quiet and ignored the little voice inside his head that told him that listening in on other people's conversation was wrong. It was their fault they had not seen him, he had been there long before they arrived.

'It was some bloody kung-fu action one… I couldn't wait for it to be over.'

'He's got really bad taste.' Ogawa Michiru agreed.

'Hey!' Arisawa complained. It was the kind of film she would have watched.

'It isn't that he has bad taste…' Kuchiki Rukia cut in and Ishida's ears pricked. Despite the affected tone she usually used around most of their classmates, he had found – after listening in on countless conversations just like that one – that she always had something reasonable to say. 'It's that he did not bother choosing something you would like.'

'He wasn't worried about pleasing you at all.' Kunieda Ryou agreed.

'Maybe he didn't think you wouldn't like that one! Maybe because he loves them so much, he thought you would love them too!' Inoue Orihime offered her own piece of advice, raising her index finger as she put on her most serious face. Hers was the only presence Ishida found truly refreshing… She was the only one he would have been pleased to share his lunch time with. Somehow her kawaii yet sexy looks and naïve enthusiasm always brought a smile to his usually stoic face.

'But I told him what I like and still he picked that other movie…'

'How did you tell him?' Honshou Chizuru asked, smiling devilishly as she prepared to sneak in a comment on how women were a much better choice than men. The most amazing thing was that Ishida usually agreed with her. Women were so much more interesting and complex and sensible and soft and pretty… Not to mention he and Honshou had very – very – similar tastes in women.

'Oh, I think I said something like "that romantic comedy looks really interesting!" or something.' Natsui answered after a thoughtful pause.

'That's the problem. You see…' the lesbian's glasses reflected the light in a way that made her look like a real expert about to give a life altering explanation. 'Men are far too dense to understand subtlety. A woman would have got the message.'

Any person who really cared about their date would have gotten that message, Ishida mused as he put the finishing touches to yet another plushie. The handicrafts club would be donating those to an orphanage so he was being extra careful to make them nothing less than perfect. He had filed away a lot of information about a lot of relevant people throughout the years just by listening to subtle and random comments the girls made.

'But that's not really his fault, Mahana-chan. You cannot blame him if it was you who weren't clear enough.' Inoue was still defending the clueless guy and Ishida realised that was probably because Natsui's situation had a lot in common with the orange haired girl's own. Kurosaki's cluelessness in regards to her feelings… He saw how much it hurt her day after day after day after day and yet she did not blame him, she could not blame him. No, not Kurosaki.

'Come one, Orihime-chan… They were on a date. He had to be paying full attention to Mahana.' the other girls were still unconvinced, and Ishida could sense the orange haired girl's desperation building up. It pained him, as if the feeling was his own.

'Orihime…' Tatsuki turned to her best friend with a sad look of understanding and – though he often wished he was the one to comfort Inoue – Ishida was grateful for the tomboy's sensitivity. 'It's not him we're talking about…'

'Hahaha… Of course, I know that, Tatsuki-chan!' she waved the matter away with a hand but it was clearly farfetched. He felt the corners of his lips twist downwards as he looked down at the faceless dog plushie he was holding. Sometimes he wished he weren't invisible so he would not have to listen in on the girls' conversations.

'Still that mysterious guy?' he heard one of the others whisper, it was too low to tell who.

'Isn't there someone else? Anyone that picks your interest?' Honshou asked more seriously than Ishida would have given her credit for, though – truth be told – he suspected she expected her own name to escape her friend's lips. Flirting was her way of dealing with her unrequited love, his was… Well… At least, being a girl, Honshou could sneak a few gropes here and there without too much alarm. If he touched Inoue Orihime, he was quite sure the world would stop turning.

'No.' came the quiet answer after a long silence. She had given it thought and she had found no one good enough… No one better than Kurosaki Ichigo. Ishida looked down at the plushie with a sad smile of conformation.

'What about…' Kuchiki started listing the names of all males they had ever come across with the help of the other girls. Chad was mentioned and Asano Keigo and Kojima Mizuiro and even Abarai Renji (whom the others knew as 'Ichigo's cousin')… No one mentioned Ishida. Not even once.

He often wondered why girls never showed any interest in him other than as a friend… Not one, not ever. He had never really thought of himself as physically unattractive… Not that he thought he was handsome either, but he knew there were worse looking people with better luck. Ishida Uryuu was simply plain, common, ordinary and he had once thought that would be enough. There were things about himself he honestly disliked, but overall he believed he was quite eligible. He was understanding, reliable, polite, responsible, loyal, respectful, honest… Yet still… Were those traits actually bad from a woman's point-of-view? Maybe all he thought he knew about girls, all girls made boys think they wanted were in fact lies.

Once he came upon that realisation, he started analysing all the males he had ever crossed paths with. Maybe he could find something of himself in them and figure out what it was he lacked or what it was he needed to fix in order to become more… Lovable.

Ishida didn't think he would ever be able to be as loud, impulsive and brazen as the orange head. He was a man of logic, not brainless brashness. He had been trying to become more powerful than the shinigami substitute ever since he had realised Inoue was infatuated with the other teen, if not even before that – centuries old rivalry and all – but Kurosaki's power seemed to grow exponentially while Ishida's grew only linearly. It was a hopeless cause, trying to impress girls with his power alone when the other male was around.

Chad was just as unfortunate in the dating department as Ishida was, and that led him to conclude that quiet introverted guys were actually not something girls appreciated. There was a man that completely defied that rule though, but Kuchiki Byakuya had the undeniable advantage of being both unbelievably rich and exquisitely good looking… The Ishida family had money, but Ishida Uryuu wanted nothing to do with it as long as it meant having to deal with his father. Maybe he should let his hair grow longer… Maybe that was Rukia's nii-sama's real secret. Like Samson whose power resided in his long tresses.

He realised, at some point, that none of the men he had analysed wore glasses, but he needed the comfort those brought him… He had tried wearing contacts once, but everytime he got uneasy he would raise his fingers to his face and find his nose instead of his glasses and his anxiety would build up. No, the glasses would have to stay. They were his comfort blanket.

It was with exhausted resignation that, after half an hour, he gave up searching for upgrades... It seemed, though his model had been highly appreciated in the XIX century, it had now grown obsolete and girls had simply stopped investing on the quiet reliable family man type of guy. They wanted men they could change, men they could fix, and – though Ishida was more broken than most – he kept his cracks and vulnerabilities well-hidden. He put up a perfect façade, but no one wanted perfect… Perfection was far too easy.

'No.' Inoue repeated and, though she seemed sad to admit it, there was also a conviction in her voice that betrayed her hope. Hope that her feelings would one day be returned. Ishida could relate to her quite well and, as a heavy silence settled in the classroom for the remainder of their break, he resigned himself to being invisible.

Author's Notes: This is a series of short introspective oneshots. They are unrelated and do not follow a cronological order or fit into any specific timeline within the series. Thanks for reading and, please, let me know what you think! :)