A/N: For headfilledwithbirds who gave me the prompt of Paric sharing secrets early on in their relationship, possibly/preferably to do with children. The line "Other than the fact that I shared my entire life with you and all you do is lie to me?" from S6E1 was also mentioned, so I decided to use that scene as well. It turned out way more angsty than I was intending (in fact, I wasn't planning angst at all) but it did mean I could finally use 'Just Give Me A Reason' in a Paric related fic :P Hope you like it :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Secrets

…
Right from the start
You were a thief
You stole my heart
And I your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them
-'Just Give Me A Reason,' Pink
…

Eric lay in bed looking up at the ceiling, one arm wrapped around Pam's shoulders, holding her nestled against him.

"What about women?" she asked lazily after a moment, a hint of playfulness in her tone.

Eric fought back a smirk, "Oh, there were many," he assured her in a teasing tone.

He couldn't see it, but he could almost feel her raise an eyebrow at his response, "How many?" she asked, her playful tone taking on a sharp edge.

He chuckled as he absently traced circles on her bare shoulder, "Why? Are you jealous?" he teased, trying not to sound too smug at the thought.

"Hardly," she huffed, nestling closer into his side.

He smirked, enjoying the possessiveness he could feel coursing through their bond. He moved his head slightly so that his cheek rested on the top of her head as he tried to remember the last time he'd felt so content.

A thought tugged at the edge of his mind and, without thinking, he verbalised it: "What about children?"

For a brief moment, Pam froze.

"Are you asking if I ever wanted children or if I ever had any?" she asked stiffly.

Eric's brow furrowed at her peculiar reaction, "Either."

Pam bit her lip as she thought about her response and Eric tried not to pay too much attention to the tumult of emotions that were surging through their bond, trying to give her space.

"I only ever considered having children once," she said finally.

"And?" he prompted.

"It didn't end well," she said shortly.

Eric knew from her tone that he should let the matter drop, but he was desperate to learn more about the woman next to him. She was his new obsession and he wanted to know everything about her.

A heavy weight settled itself on his chest, distracting him from his inner debate, and it took him a few moments to realise that it wasn't a physical weight, but an emotional one. It took him several more moments to realise that the feeling came from Pam.

"I'm sorry," he whispered urgently, pulling her closer and kissing the top of her head, "I don't mean to pry."

"It's fine," she assured him, she took a shaky breath that she didn't need before continuing, "it was a long time ago. Before I…before I took to the streets."

"You don't have to tell me," he said quietly.

"I know."

Silence descended and Eric privately cursed himself for ruining the moment.

"It was when I was looking for Bertie," she continued after a long moment, surprising him, "one of his friends agreed to help me. I had always been a little in love with him and he…took advantage of that."

A low growl escaped from Eric before he could stop himself as the implication of her words sank in. For a brief moment he saw red at the thought of someone hurting her, he was brought back to reality as she laid a hand on his chest.

"It's all right, really," she told him, "besides," she added, her tone a little wistful, "he died in the war too."

Eric felt that it was less than he deserved for having something to do with hurting her, but he let the matter drop.

"He got you pregnant," Eric ground out after a moment.

"Yes," she admitted in a small voice, "at first everything was fine, we were going to be so happy and then…he left. I had to fend for myself, for both of us…" she trailed off as her voice broke.

Eric shifted so that he could wrap his other arm around her, hating to see her so vulnerable. She buried her face in his shoulder and he felt a wave of pain wash over him.

It made him feel sick as he realised what the end of her story would be.

"You don't have to tell me anymore," he told her, desperate to save her from having to relieve the memory and himself from having his suspicion confirmed. He crushed her against him and buried his face in her hair, "I'm so sorry," he whispered into her neck, "I'm so, so sorry."

"She would have been so beautiful," Pam whimpered into his chest, so softly that without his superior hearing he would have missed it.

For the first time in centuries, Eric felt his eyes well with bloody tears and he clutched her impossibly close as she wept against his shoulder.