Disclaimer:
The title of this Fan Fiction is also the title of one of Fall Out Boy's albums. I do not own it.
All chapter titles are the titles to songs by Fall Out Boy. This is not a song-fic, and no lyrics of theirs were used in the actual writing of this story. They were only my inspiration, and I would like to give them credit.
I don't own any of the characters or settings in this story. They are the property of Degrassi: The Next Generation.
Author's Note:
In Season 4: Ghost In The Machine, Paige is informed that she must appear in court to face Dean in her rape trial. She does, Dean is found innocent, she crashes Spinner's car, and confesses to the police. For the purposes of this Fan Fiction, I have an alternate idea for that plot line. Therefore, in myversion of Ghost In The Machine, Paige is only notified that she will have to appear sometime in the future. All other plot lines remain untouched. Aka, Spinner and Paige still break-up in Island In The Stream because of Hazel's photos.
I began to write this Fan Fiction a few days after Secret aired in the US. Anything after that episode I know vaguely about from the 'journal entries' of the characters from Dtv. So although this Fan Fiction is, basically, my version of season 5, I have not seen anything past Secret. So there you go. I'll do my best. And I will continue to watch the new episodes, however, they may or may not be reflected in this story. I don't know quite yet.
Also, I decided to write this, but I will of course continue my other Fan Fiction. No worries mate. Laugh and Giggle.
Summary:
The notebook was so easy to close. She shut it quickly and shoved it under her mattress. She didn't want to think about that anymore. She was different now. He was different now. And even if they weren't, they weren't together anymore.
OoO
There was something more than wrong about him. He wanted it gone. But, since he couldn't squeeze it out of himself, he squeezed it out of her.
OoO
She pushed the hair out of her eyes, and pressed down on the gas pedal.
Sixty-five…seventy-five…eighty-five…ninety…
The scenery outside her windows blended into one streaming whirl of Technicolor, and the hollowness inside her started to melt. She was flying, she was living. And then… she was dying. Softly falling out of her reverie as the paramedics shifted her out of the crumpled carnage her flying had caused. Her blood was leaving her, and her tears were frozen in the backwards reaches of her heart. While at first death had seemed small and comforting, now it was large and all-encompassing, and she was scared. She was scared and alone…
OoO
She shifted uncomfortably out from under him. He was suffocating her. Literally. She was having trouble drawing breath. Her chest was aching where his enormous head was lying unmoving. She hitched one shoulder up, and rotated as much as possible, until he fell off her.
"Finally." She muttered softy, as she padded over to his trousers splayed across the floor. She reached down into the first pocket, a lucky guess. She pulled out his wallet, and took all of the bills, but left the cards. Five hundred dollars… I told you I was too expensive for you…She thought cynically, and walked quickly out of his hotel room…
OoO
His hair was greasy, and he ran his fingers through it, trying to find a way to make it seem more presentable. It was a lost cause. What did you expect when you haven't had a shower for more than a week? He took a deep breath and walked slowly up to her front door. He had heard all about what she had been doing, and he was so worried about her.
OoO
She ached on the inside. Normal things hurt. Her stomach was scrunched up and she felt sick. Her head ached and her nose ran. But other things were different too. Her heart ached. It ached with such ferocious precision that she felt dizzy. This was not ok. It would never be ok again. It had haunted him for the longest time, shifted, faded, and flared. It was not ok. It would never be ok again. His car was in the distance, and she turned to him again…
OoO
Where was she? Questions asked with periods drifted through her head. Her eyes cracked and through the haze she could barely make him out. He was smiling. Why was he smiling. Not again. She didn't do that again. She had fixed it! She had put it back together. I am so week. Her heart was fluttering, and even though she had meant it in the mental sense, the physical side of her was fading too…
OoO
When he told himself he hated her, she hadn't looked like this. But, that wasn't why he was smiling. In the blackness that shod his heart, he felt a tickle at the thought of revenge.
OoO
One was dependable while the other was expendable. At least, that's what he told himself as he pushed the button. With one satisfying click he erased all the wrongs attributed to the friendship that lay, figuratively of course, in the recycle bin of his new lap top computer. The satisfaction was not complete, however. There was one more step…
OoO
I wish you never met yourself. An odd thought for an odd person. She was herself again. Or another farce. But her hair looked right. That was all that mattered.
OoO
What did they know? They didn't know. They didn't know. Metal is heavier than it looks. Could she do it? An answer never follows the question you always want to ask. The thud was more audible than the tears. It's a pity no one noticed anything at all.
OoO
The trees were starch against the background. She looked them all in the eyes. They didn't like it. They didn't like her. They all said no. It was strange; she changed. She realized something: you can't look wraiths in the eyes.
OoO
He imagined a comfort in the bottom. He watched for it, he searched. He spent all his time with his eyes focused on the bottom. Is it a wonder that he fell?
OoO
This mistake was the biggest of them all. The lie felt stale in his mouth. Over used. Under scored with insincerity. It hurt him a little that he didn't have to try. But after her, he didn't have the strength to cry.
OoO
He had it all figured out. He had the answers, and he had no more questions. But it's when you get cocky that the other shoe drops. It missed his head, but it hit his heart.
OoOoO
This was only the prologue. The next chapter is the first actual chapter. Please read and review. Thanks.