UNWELCOMED LIFE

to Forks

I still can't believe I had ever considered this to be a great place to finish out high school. What was I thinking? Rainy, gray, wet, and dreary, these are not words that lift someone up. They don't make one want to move on to better things, rather to wallow even further into despair. This was not going to help my frame of mind. I had to push all these things into the back of my ever hurting mental state if I was ever going to over come the events in Phoenix. Yes, it was my idea to come live with my Dad here in Forks, and it was my idea to not make a big ordeal about it, but it was Phil who was the catalyst in the decision and it is Phil who I need to over come. Phil. How did my mom ever fall for him? As full of life, sporadic and incapable of making a good decision on her own, I never thought she would be so blinded by such a dark and obviously dangerous man. I am sure there were qualities that drew her to him in the beginning, but I couldn't stomach him from the start, and unfortunately I experienced all to soon why I felt that sick feeling to begin with……."Bella…….Bella…….uh….are you ok?"

"Oh, sorry Char- I mean Dad, I was taking in the scenery, what were you saying?"

"I was just letting you know that I am glad you came to stay with me, I……um……have really missed you Bells."

I know that was terribly hard for Charlie to say out loud, I felt bad that he had to repeat it. I need to pay more attention. Charlie was a good dad, when I came to visit, and always the occasional phone call to just say hi, but we really didn't talk much, about things that mattered and especially not our feelings. He was kind enough to take me in on such short notice.

"I am glad you let me come, I don't want to impose-"

"Now Bella, you are my Daughter, I know I don't say much but I am glad to have you." Charlie looked away quickly, keeping his eyes fixed on the road ahead.

"Thanks dad." I Tried to hold in the tears, there was no reason for Charlie to get upset at the real reason I came to live with him. Who was I kidding; he probably wouldn't believe me, just as Renee hadn't.

Charlie started to say something and then quickly changed his mind. I decided to take the pressure off of him and ask the question that has been burning in my mind since the plane landed,

"Dad?" He didn't take his eyes off the road, of that I was grateful.

"Did mom tell you why I wanted to come here?"

He tapped his hands on the wheel, and sighed heavily, "No, not even a hint Bells, I was hoping you would tell me what changed your mind after all these years."

"Oh"

That is all I could manage till I came up with a safe response that he couldn't look into with his superior Police chief skills.

"I just wanted to get to know you better, before I left for college, and taking care of Renee is a bit overwhelming right now. I think Phil can manage for a little bit."

I tried to not flinch when I said his name. I failed miserably. I hoped Charlie hadn't seen it, but he did. And being the kind of man he is, he let it go, I am sure to question me at a better time. He wasn't going to just forget about it though, I was never that lucky. I appreciated the leeway at the moment though; I wouldn't know where to start if he asked anyways.

As we pulled into the driveway of the house that never changed I noticed a faded red, really old, pick up truck on the side of the yard, Charlie caught me eyeing it, "you like it Bella?" I didn't know why, but I said "yes, it is very, um, hearty."

"Well, it is yours, I didn't think you wanted me to drag you around town in the cruiser" he rubbed his hands on the back of his neck, he seemed unsure if I would like it or not so I eased his discomfort immediately, "WOW, are you serious? You didn't have to get me a vehicle dad, but I really love it……it runs, right?"

He laughed at that "Of course Bells, only the best for my daughter."

At that moment I felt like even in the dreary town of Forks, with all the gray and rain, I might have a chance to feel normal again.

Laying on my bed that night, looking at the never changing time capsule of a room that I was to dub my own till graduation, I was thinking back on Phoenix, Bad idea……..But I couldn't close my eyes and go to sleep, even though I was hundreds of miles away from Phil, I couldn't relax enough………would he somehow trail me up here? Would he somehow get into Charlie's house? Would he sneak into my room? Would he climb under my covers and whisper disgusting things in my ear with his hot horrible breath? Would he proceed to touch and pull at my cloths and tell me that if I screamed he would slice mine and my mother's throat? And at that thought I jumped up and ran to the door, I locked it quickly and like a child threw on the lights. I looked in my closet and under my bed. After I was thoroughly satisfied at the security of my room, leaving the lights on, I climbed under my covers and slowly my heavy, wet, red rimmed eyes were succumbing to sleep. I could only pray that the nightmares wouldn't come tonight. But as usual, luck didn't like me.

……….I woke up only to realize that I couldn't move, I was being held down forcefully. I tried to get away, but my arm was in so much pain, and I looked up to see a sinister evil pair of eyes. "Just lay down Bella, you know if you struggle this will take longer……."

I was suffocating, I was trying to do just what he said but my reflexes told me to fight.

"Please Phil, I wont tell my mom, just please stop doing this to me!" I begged and begged, this night as well as many nights before. When he was done, that familiar feeling came over me……I was warm and fuzzy…..they were different ones every night, but tonight I felt as though I wouldn't make it out alive. My world was crashing down in front of me. The walls were melting and Phil was intently watching but he seemed to be fading away as well. I felt pain in my head first, then it traveled down to my spine and to my legs finally my toes, I was incapacitated, I could see and hear but not move or respond. This was different drug indeed, and it terrified me to speculate why he injected this particular one……………

I awoke in a soaking wet sweaty state of panic, I had been trained not to scream out, but in my mind I was internally shrieking. I rolled up my long sleeves and checked my arm, there was indeed a cluster of tracks, but nothing new. I breathed a sigh of relief, and looked at my clock. 5:30 in the morning. I was not going back to sleep now so I started to get ready for school. As the water fell on my skin I looked down to see physically see what had brought me to forks. That night in my dream was the last time. I had endured too many nights of torture, each night escalating into more and more pain. I was done with it. I quickly got out and covered my scarred body. I threw on some jeans and long sleeved t-shirt; thank God for the cold weather of Forks, it was getting really hard to come up with excuses to wear long sleeves in sunny hot Arizona.

By the time I was dressed and got a bite to eat it was still too early to head to school. Charlie had already left for work, so I decided to take a walk in the woods behind the house. I wanted to clear my head and be able to focus on the day ahead. And I loved to walk. There is nothing more peaceful than walking. There was green everywhere, even where it shouldn't be, amazing. There was such a clean, clear smell, like after a fresh rain, but it hadn't, it was just residually wet all the time. It was actually quite breathtaking. I only missed the sun for a fraction of a second, the sun only reminded me of phoenix, and so I didn't miss it that much.

I only realized I wasn't paying attention to where I was going when I smacked my head on the ground. Great, a flesh wound for school, what a great way to start my first day. I didn't get to wallow long though. Right in front of me stood the most beautiful creature, and I say creature because he was unearthly breathtaking. He had the most beautiful messy bronze hair. I was captivated by his perfect lips and smooth pale skin. I wanted to reach out and touch him, to see if he was real. He smiled at me, but his eyes were black, dark and……hungry? The second I registered this being in front of me he was holding me, tight, and almost painfully, and he smiled at me, a crooked dazzling smile, I couldn't breath. I didn't try. He whispered something, I believe it was "….Singing to me…." or something like that.

I still didn't breath. His fragrance was taking me over, as I was finally able to breath I drank in his intoxicating alluring smell, part of me wondered if I should be afraid, but he was just to beautiful. As I was internally battling with my thoughts, he made my decision for me.

Be afraid.

This beautiful being reached his head down and very gently licked the now oozing cut on my head from my fall. He closed his eyes and dipped his mouth to the hollow of my neck. The only thing I could comprehend was the agony coming from that point in my body, was he drinking me? This couldn't be happening, I know Phil was a monster of sorts, but this, is a real monster. How can that be, he is too beautiful. Can this even happen? I started to feel faint, and I was losing the battle to stay awake when I was thrown to the ground. And I caught sight of a blur, long golden hair, and another blur, short black hair, and a third blur, huge man, black hair.

What was going on?

I vaguely remember the voices…… "Edward, what are you doing??" ………….."What about Carlisle" …….. "We liked it here"……… "If we don't finish she will be one of us…………" "…….um……she will be, it is already clear……"

What did this mean? I couldn't concentrate any further, the burning within me was more than I could handle, I couldn't breath, I couldn't think, I was burning, and charred from the inside, slowly the fire crept to all of my appendages, and I wanted to scream, I cant tell if I did. All I could think of clearly was those black eyes and his name, the only name that I heard, Edward.