Being half human meant he understood human thinking. To a point. They were very illogical creatures, as their rampant emotions and loss of logic pointed very clearly.
Being half Vulcan meant he knew logical thinking. Understood what it meant. He could calculate the best outcome, with gains and losses accounted for, and emotions came a distance behind logic, behind knowledge, behind understanding, behind thought.
But it was still there.
Captain James (Jim) T. Kirk happened to be one of those emotionally charged humans. He might even be part of a group that was led more by emotion than by anything else.
That wasn't to say he wasn't smart. For an emotionally directed human, he was extremely smart. He was also stubborn, sarcastic, arrogant, cocky, and ridiculously good looking....
Spock's head jerked back as the last thought ran through his mind. Yes, Captain Kirk was good looking, there was no reason to deny it. So why did he feel as if he should? As though the thought burned inside him and he wanted to deny ever having thought about it?
Shaking his head to ward off any more circular thought patterns, Spock rolled over and pulled the blanket in closer, ignoring the small, unconscious question that seemed to linger: Why was he thinking of Captain Kirk as he lay in bed?
"Is it just me or is Spock ignoring me?" Kirk thoughtfully asked Bones, his chin in his hand as he stared at what was supposed to be passing off as roast beef but looked like some alien they might have hit at some point during flight.
"You mean like he normally ignores you?" Bones asked after swallowing his food.
"Spock doesn't ignore me, per say," Kirk told his friend, curling his lip as he poked at his food.
Bones eyebrows lifted, "Oh really? That's what we all try to do. Well, what I try to do, anyways," he told Kirk before stabbing his friend's un touched food and transferring it to his own plate.
"Remind me: why are we friends again?" KIrk asked, glowering.
Eyes on his food, Bones shrugged, "I felt bad for you and I'm charismatic? How the hell should I know?"
"You're no help. At all," Kirk said, taking his plate and leaving Bones to the peace he so desired.
Damn his human half, causing conflict with his rationality and logical thinking. Without it, he wouldn't be stuck avoiding Captain Kirk and listening to his stomach growl.
Just as he was thinking that he would just have to take his chances and go to the mess hall, Bones walked into the med centre, carrying a try with him.
Without saying a word, he placed it before Spock and walked out, leaving the confused Vulcan to question something else: why did roast beef always have to look like something the kitchen staff had scraped off the hull of the ship?
This was getting ridiculous. It had been a week (according to the ship's time) and Kirk had barely seen Spock. He had either come to his shifts late and left early, or had found some excuse or another to be elsewhere during that time.
Why he minded, Kirk didn't know and didn't particularly want to figure out, but he minded. A lot.
Stalking through the sleeping areas, he finally found the door he was looking for and opened it, not bothering to knock. It was his ship, after all, he reminded himself.
He heard the door click and swing open. Not bothering to look up, Spock knew who it was. He had been expecting the Captain to speak to him sooner or later. It was logical, considering how poorly he had been doing at his job lately.
"Spock." He heard his name leaving Captain Kirk's mouth and for some unknown reason he resisted the urge to groan. It had sounded so.....right, coming out like that.
Standing up, he kept his eyes on the floor, the confusion he felt starting to spread across his face.
"Captain?"
What was he supposed to say now? He knew that he had planned something to say when he got here. But he couldn't remember a word of it. Nothing. Maybe he should have written something down....
Not! He was Captain for god's sake! This what he was supposed to do. Ask crew why they weren't doing their job properly, if anything was going on, awkward things like that. His job!
Yet, the only thought he had was that Spock had a damn soft looking mouth and what it might taste like....
Captain Kirk hadn't launched into a yelling tirade, telling him how poorly of a job he had been doing recently. He wasn't asking why things weren't done or if anything was wrong. Actually, he hadn't said a thing.
Curious, Spock lifted his eyes and looked to find Captain Kirk looking directly at him with a look on his face he could only describe as 'hungry'. Which was ridiculous, of course, considering that lunch hadn't been that long ago...
Remembering that lunch had been left over meatloaf, Spock could understand.
That didn't explain the fact that Captain Kirk hadn't said anything yet. Not a word since he had walked in, which was really strange, considering how much the man liked to talk.
His mouth. He had just been thinking about another man's mouth! What was going on with him? He liked women, breasts, vaginas, the whole deal. He ought to know....right?
He knew he had to say something. The silence that they were standing in had started to become extremely awkward and weird.
Captain! Captain James T. Kirk! For somebody's sake (Spock's as much as his own), he was going to have to say something. Soon.
That mouth...
Spock was pretty sure he was imagining things. Captain Kirk would not stare at his mouth, would he? The human half of his thinking had to quit. It wasn't thinking, it was feeling, and it was not feeling logical feelings. At all. If only he had been able to ignore it, go to his shifts, pretend like he hadn't been thinking of Captain Kirk moaning his name....