Its strange...being blind, like nothing was ever anything, like the world we live in is just sounds and shapes, only getting by on tough and sounds, and then you have to be reminded that only a select few know that feeling, and who's to say they feel the same, feel the same black emptiness
And then I think about myself, I use to see, I use to see colours rather than feel them, I use to check my looks in the mirror, I use to have opinions on appearances
There are so many things I USE to do, the list would be endless
Like I use to choose my cloths, I use to get in akward situations with strangers due to staring, I use to read, I use to be able to write or draw, I use to be able to go places unaccompanied, I use to SEE
But all THAT is gone now, and I'll never have it back, and now that I have these wings, now that I'm a teenage now that I have changed so much, I want to know what I look like, I want to see the places we go, I want to see the sight below me when we fly, I want to be able to help when we run I to trouble, I want to help the flock, but instead I'm a blind useless lump
Fang, himself and max are meant to look after the young ones but it seems more like the young ones look after me
I'm snapped out of my recurring thoughts as I hear the door to my room open, "who's that" I snap, slightly annoyed at being interrupted in my thoughts
"Fang" was the simple reply
The other boy relaxed, he liked fang, he was able to talk with him without feeling like he was missing out, fang was his best friend, and he liked him as more but he would never dare say that to him, it would just make his life an even bigger mess
"What's up fang?" He asked, sitting up
"Not much Iggs..." He paused " Iggy? I don't think I love max...not in the way I thought I did, I mean I love her so much! So so much but in a sister way...I don't know"
Iggy stared...,well turned his head on fangs direction and and open his eyes in amazement, close as he could get to staring
"Well..." He started, choosing his words carefully
"I ummmmm, think that you should do what makes you happy"
He said, satisfied that it would do
Fang considered him for a moment, wondering if he should tell him
"I had a fight with her last night..."
Now Iggy was interested
"We both agreed to leave it be, just have a break for a while, I think we both needed it, she said she still loves me but...,I not sure that I do"
He sighed "we broke up"
Iggy was shocked, there was silence for a moment before he finally broke the it
"If you don't love max...who do you love..." Not daring to hope
Fang had no answer, he was honestly lost for words, he had no answer, although he thought he might
"I don't know..."
And then out of the bloom "what if I'm gay?"
Iggy had not anticipated this, fang must be really confused and there must be a reason for this
"W..what?" He stammered, fang flushed bright red, suddenly greatfull for the other boys lack of sight
"I...sorry" fang muttered "I just...,have feelings and I don't know what they mean and why I have them...would you mind if I was gay...,would the flock?"
OK he was so stumped it wasn't funny, this was so un-fang like
And if he answered honestly how would fang view him then
"I...I think its fine" he stammered out
"And I think the flock would whole heartedly support you" he said regaining some confidence
"Thanks Iggs" fang smiled
They sat there in silence, minutes slipped by, 5, 10, 20...
Soon and hour had passed, fang was the one to brake the silence
"So what about you, how goes Ella?" He said with a grin in His voice
Iggy sighed, a slight smile spread his lips "well...I feel like she is my sister...nothing more" he swallowed, "I mean I've known for a while I was bi"
Fang looked up in shock, "really?"
Iggy was already regretting saying it "yeh" he said lamely. Shit now you have freaked him out
Well done
Iggy was about to try changing the subject when he was shut up by a pair of lips on his
Fang had kissed him...was still kissing him!
Not sure what he was doing Iggy kissed back, fang depend the kiss ever so slightly, Iggy obeyed and soon they were sharing a passionate kiss, probably forbidden
They broke apart breathing in heavily
Iggy was scared, "what was that?" His fear soon became anger "why? Was I just an experiment?! Am I just here for you to test your hypothesis's on?" He didn't know what he was so angry, it was just his way of protecting himself, as he couldn't see what fang was thinking he was blind to everything, making the situation worse
Fang flinched at the boys harsh words
"Iggy, I didn't mean it like that, I would never do that and you know it"
Iggy sighed "than what then?"
Fang hesitated, deciding it couldn't get much worse he said "I like you...more than I should, that is one reason I ended it with max" it was the truth, plain and clear
"Iggy I'm sorry, I understand if you want to just forget about everything that just happened, I can walk away and we can never talk about it again"
Iggy was silent, his brain was on hold...
Fang looked down in disappointment and shame, he slowly got off the bed and walked to the door, "I'm sorry" he said as he opened the door, he didn't even look back as he walked straight out the door
Iggy's mind kick started, realizing what had just been said and done, shit he thought, he was serious
Iggy got up and ran to the door, tripping over various objects he couldn't see, he reached the door with a thud
"Fang!" He yelled jerking open the door running out, as he took his first few steps he fell over a large object on the floor, realizing too late it was a somebody, he fell landing straight on top of them
"I...uh sorry, um mm who is this" he said although he already new
"Fang" came the same simple response
"I, fang...I" Iggy struggled trying to say what he had wanted to for ages now
"Its OK Iggy, you don't need to explain, i can just give you space if thats what you want"
"N..no" Iggy tried again
"I understand Iggy, I'm sorry I just, I can't control what I feel and...I'm sor-" he was cut off as iggy found his mark and kissed the other boy
Fang lay there breathing heavily
After a moment or two they broke apart
"..."
"Fang, for a smart guy you can be dumb, I feel the same"
Fang was silent, his brain contemplating what had just happened
Then "thank you Iggy" he said as he hugged the delicate boy laying on top of him, nuzzling his hair
Distant thuds were heard down stairs, nudge was screaming excitedly at the TV and it sounded like gazzy had fallen off a chair, max was trying to quieten them, soon giving up and making her way up the stairs, talking with angel, it sounded as if max was measuring her for a dress, deciding that himself and Iggy would not be needed he thought they may as well have some alone time. Fang acted quickly grabbing Iggy and hoisting him up with him, then dragged him through his open door to his room, where he locked the door and turned to face Iggy, who was standing there confused
"You know we can't keep it a secret fang"
I don't want it to be" he replied "I doubt we could keep it even if we wanted to, with angel and nudges habit of not nocking" he said with a smirk
Iggy smiled "haha I see"
Fang walked towards him and pushed with to the bed, slowly kissing him, they lay there, enjoying each others company and closeness, fang asked for entrance, sliding his tounge into the other others mouth, Iggy ceanly replied and they lay there happy to have the other, they broke apart only for air, fang started kissing the other boys neck, he then stopped, "I love you iggs"
Iggy taken aback but pleased said "I love you too" with a smile he leaned against the other boy, the fell asleep like that each finally happy.