You-Know-Who's Angels
(Are You Watchin' Channel X?)
Chapter 1
Tickets to the UK W's Angels Concert
Another boring summer at the Dursleys. Harry Potter never could understand why he allowed himself to survive his yearly adventures only to end up back where he started.
This summer was only two weeks begun, yet was already full of mixed blessings and curses. First off, Dudley, over the past year of dieting, lost a significant amount of weight (though he still looked humorously chubby), and, along with it, any ounce of common sense he might have contained. He'd turned Goth. Seeing Ickle Duddikins dressed in all black wearing a crucifix around his neck was certainly a big surprise, and Harry couldn't help but think how ironic it was that he was the one who was considered evil, while Dudley ran around like a crazy delinquent. But then again, if you live in England long enough, you're bound to turn into a freak at one time or another.
But a blessing also came with this bizarre switch of personality. Dudley was often locked away in his room for hours when he wasn't out with his equally weird friends. He would listen to very loud music which consisted of a lot of screaming while doing who-knows-what. Harry hadn't been in Dudley's room for ages, but he figured that it probably looked significantly different as well.
So for the most part, summer seemed like it was going to be tolerable. The Dursleys were so busy trying to regain their own son's normal lifestyle that they hardly noticed Harry at all. But one evening it all took a turn for the worst. Harry was sitting down for dinner with his aunt and uncle (he had not been banned to his room just yet), and, amazingly enough, Dudley had not come down to eat.
I told him ten minutes ago that dinner was almost ready and to come down, Mr. Dursley grumbled.
Funny, I told him five minutes ago to hurry down. I even told him that I'd cooked his favorite meal! Mrs. Dursley said.
No wonder it's swimming in grease, Harry thought to himself.
Harry, go upstairs and tell him to come at once! Mr. Dursley bellowed.
Harry sighed but obeyed. He walked upstairs and knocked on Dudley's door, but figured that he probably wouldn't hear him because there was some very loud music on, a band of girls which Harry didn't remember hearing before. He couldn't complain much about them though, at least they sang. They even sounded pretty good.
He was right, there was no response. He tried the door, but it was locked. With a quick glance around the room, he took out his wand and whispered, easily allowing him access into the room when he tried again.
The room was more frightening than Snape's dungeon. There were no lights except for one black-light, which caused various skulls and bizarre posters on the wall to glow. In the corner was a desk with a computer and telephone on it. This was where Dudley sat, the receiver of the telephone glued to his head as he stared silently at the picture on the computer screen in a dazed stupor. The music continued to pound its rhythm into the walls, thus causing Dudley not to even notice the intruder.
Harry walked slowly up behind his cousin, highly considering an attempt to scare him out of his wits, but he got distracted by the image on the screen. There were three very attractive girls dressed in rather suggestive fashions of black and red, each wearing red devil horns over their ratted hair. The brunette in the center seemed to look out in a mischievously inviting manner, while a blonde to her right stood, arms crossed, with a severely bitter expression. The girl with auburn hair to the left of the brunette wore by far the most modest apparel, while she smiled sweetly to her viewers. Harry figured it was one of Dudley's Goth crazes, but the words in the corner of the picture confused him: UK W's Angels. That's a funny name for a band, he shouted over the music.
Dudley jumped nearly a meter into the air and practically shouted into the phone, What? Hello? Hello? Am I through? Did I win?
Harry blinked and tapped Dudley on the shoulder. He whirled around quickly in his chair and glared up at his cousin. What are you doing in my room you little freak?
Look who's calling who a freak, Harry thought. It's dinner time, they're waiting for you.
But... but I can't leave! I've been trying to get through for the past four hours and twenty-seven minutes!
Get through to what?
To win six free tickets to the UK W's Angels concert! I've just got to go! Tell them I'll come later.
It must have been really important for Dudley to want to hold off on eating, especially after the second hour passed. Mrs. Dursley ordered, take this up to Duddy and make sure he eats it.
Harry went on another journey into Dudley's realm of psychedelic darkness, but nothing much had changed, except the song now being played by the same band was a bit more subdued, yet very eerie as three breathy female voices were barely heard chanting above the music they were playing. Dudley was in the same pose as before.
No luck yet?
No. None. Dudley looked straight at Harry, as if sizing him up while considering something. You don't think you might be able to help me out, do you?
Me, help you? How? And better yet, why?
Because you have magic! Can't you use your powers to help me just this once?
Dudley, I can't...
I'll give you one of the tickets!
But I couldn't possibly...
Fine. Three. That way you can bring those two losers... I mean... wonderful friends of yours.
Harry sighed. There really was nothing he could do, but at least he could pretend to try. Then maybe Dudley would quit bugging him about it. He took out his wand and wagged it at the telephone in Dudley's shaking hand as he mumbled some fancy nonsense-magic. When he was finished it was difficult for him to keep a straight face as he watched Dudley press the phone closer to his ear.
A few minutes later Harry opened his mouth to admit to his deceit, but suddenly Dudley jumped to his feet and shouted excitedly, What? Really! I won? then shouted I won I won I won about forty times after he'd finished his phone conversation as he ran around the house.
Eventually Harry pieced the whole story together. UK W's Angels was going to be performing live, and the performance was going to be shown on television all around the world. He was also able to put names with the faces. The brunette was Venessa, the blonde Vivian, and the auburn-haired girl Vallory. Yet he still hadn't figured out what their band name stood for. He figured was probably for United Kingdom, but who could say what the was for then?
He brought all of this up with Ron and Hermione when they snuck into the house the morning of the concert-day. Dudley knew they were coming but didn't tell because he believed himself in great debt to his cousin.
Oh, Harry, it probably doesn't mean anything important... Ron said.
You don't happen to have a CD of them, do you? Hermione asked. I'd sort of like to hear what I'm getting into.
Yeah, I'll go steal Dudley's CD and stereo. He's out right now anyway.
Ron couldn't stop staring at the CD cover long enough to get the CD out to play. They're gorgeous...
Oh, come off it! Hermione snapped, snatching the case from his hands and putting it on to play. She turned it over to look at the songs list as the first began.
Can I please at least see the booklet while you look at the songs?
Hermione made some exasperated noise as she pulled it out and flung it at Ron.
He stared excitedly at each page, drooling as he made comments which will not be repeated here for the sake of rating.
This song's called Channel X,'Hermione said, stopping Ron in mid-dirty-comment (probably on purpose).
The chorus was some annoying verse sung by the lead, Venessa, which went something like this:
You know you want me
You know you need me
Why don't you watch me
On Channel X.
Ron grinned. I wonder if Dad would get me a Muggle television for Christmas.
You idiot, there's no such thing as a Channel X.
I don't know, it sounds like the title of some kind of porn channel-Dear God!
What is it this time? Are they lounging about with no clothes on?
Ron didn't answer, just stared dumbly at the picture.
Oh, let me see, Hermione griped, snatching the booklet away before Ron could protest. Her eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped just a bit. Dear God...
Harry hadn't really been listening to his friends, but was paying attention to the song. For some reason he thought he heard something in the background of it, something dangerously familiar, but as soon as both Ron and Hermione seemed distressed over the same thing, he figured that it might actually be important and went over. What he saw made him wonder even more at the song.
It was a picture of Venessa, with her back turned to the camera, her hair pulled over her left shoulder, revealing her bare back. Over her left shoulder-blade was the Dark Mark.
We should have known from the beginning what their name meant! Hermione whispered.
Oh? I still don't get it, Ron said.
You wouldn't. Okay Ron. Think through this with me. Who's mark is that?
Blink. Blink.
The UK' doesn't stand for United Kingdom!' The U' is for the word You,' y-o-u, the K' for Know,' and the W-apostraphe-S' for Who's!' Therefore, they are You-Know-Who's Angels!
OoOoOoOoOh! I get it now! ^_^
We... really need to get to that concert... and find them... now.
Oh, come on, Harry, Ron said. All they can do from stage is sing! What harm could it do?
What harm? Listen to the background music!
All three were silent as they leaned closer to the stereo in unison, ears pressed against the blaring speakers. From somewhere in the depths of the music they heard a steady chant:
You mean... they're brainwashing the Muggle population of the whole world into watching Channel X? Ron asked, then burst out laughing. It might be useful if there was actually such a thing as a Channel X, or a Channel B, or...
But X is also the Roman Numeral for the number 10, Hermione whispered. I'm with Harry for once... we need to get going...
Ron shrugged. Whatever you say then.
He snuck out the window with Hermione while Harry walked downstairs to tell his aunt he was leaving and wouldn't be back until late. Don't bother me! she ordered. I'm watching Channel X... I must watch Channel X...
As soon as he made it outside, he grabbed both of his friends and proceeded to drag them to the closest train stop. We've got to hurry.
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