Disclaimer: My name is not Hiro Mashima, so obvs I do not own FT.

This is a letter that Lucy wrote, just to get that outta the way.

Um. Hello. So here I am. Recalling things I'm supposed to forget. A part of me is glad we could say our goodbyes' without fighting. Then again, maybe I didn't try hard enough to make you stay that night. Maybe I should've tried a bit harder.

I'm sorry I never noticed anything you've done to me until you're gone. You've been really amazing, and I was, still am, absolutely stupid to take you for granted. I swear anyone else wouldn't last as long as you did. Heck, they probably wouldn't last a month.

Oh, Gray might last a month. That reminds me of when we were fighting, and Gray was the one who struggled so the two of us could confess our feelings and made up. Just kidding. Gray wouldn't last a month, either.

I wasn't very outgoing, was I? I was struggling to find every word, always clumsily dragging my feet around, and just hearing your name made me anxious. Yet you were patient with me. I was very hard to deal with, but you stayed and worked on me.

It took you awhile, but I finally trusted you enough for us to do things together. Do you remember our first today together? Your friends, mostly Gray and Sting, and my friends, mainly Levy and Erza, wouldn't shut up and always pushed us around.

And due to your amazing patience for dealing with me, we finally held hands. Maybe it wasn't a big deal to you, but it was to me. Do you remember how we managed to do that? The distance between us slowly grew wider, and I'm pretty sure you were at your limit. That was the first time I realized how much you meant to me. It wasn't exactly private, was it? We were surrounded by lots of people and they were all taking our pictures. I actually asked them for the pics, they're still there on my phone, just there without a purpose.

Do you remember our first hug? It took you weeks to convince me. I refused to hug you, but again, you stayed and patiently worked on me. You bought me a heart-shaped pillow with hands and told me, if I was ever lonely, or if I missed you, and if you're not there, I should hug the pillow. I've been hugging it a lot now. Reminds me of our first hug. It was a bit awkward, wasn't it? You gave me the pillow, and hugged me, and I awkwardly hugged you back. I miss the feeling of your arms around me.

Do you remember our last hug? It was our first, and last time goin' out together. We watched a childishly entertaining movie, with the main character getting last hugs from his mom. So when we bid farewell, you put your arms around me and said, "Last hug." Well, that really turned out to be our last hug, eh? I'd do anything to feel it again.

Do you remember the little things we did? Do you remember messing up my hair, spitting on me, stealing my food, and putting your head on my shoulders? Do you remember when I asked what you were gonna be, and you jokingly said you'd be my life partner? I know you only said that because you don't know what you were gonna be, but I was happy anyways. Do you remember when we made up and got caught by a teacher? She lectured us both, and we turned away laughing. Do you remember our ridiculous contests? The staring contest, ugliest-face contest, earlier arrival contest, sleeping late contest? I always won, didn't I? Levy said you lost on purpose, but I'm sure I'm just better than you.

Do you remember the first time we kissed? There was a rumor goin' around that you were hangin' out with some other girl. I confronted you about it, and you told me she was your childhood friend. I was still mad about it, so you sneaked me out of my house at around midnight, and with the moon as our witness, you told me I was your only one, and gently put your lips on mine.

Ah, that reminds me of Lisanna. Lisanna Strauss, your childhood friend. I was always jealous seeing the two of you together, and silently despised her, but funny how after we broke up, she was the one who helped me with you. It didn't do anything in the end, huh.

I'm sorry. I was-again, still am so fucking ridiculously stupid. I took you for granted, and now that you're not here-teasing me, wishing it was over, just being patient on me-I realized I need you. I don't need those cheesy shit I used to want you to do-you were very sweet in your own way. But I took every cute little thing you did the wrong way. I don't need those other guys I used to compare to you-they've been giving me attention, but it's different from your affection. I just need you.

If only I could somehow get you back here, beside me, I'd do all the ridiculous things I wouldn't do before. Things that I think, you would've wanted me to do. I never noticed the little things you've done to me, and I'm sorry for that. I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could still wish it was over, I wish I could still compare to you other guys, I wish I could still complain about you, I wish I could still smile at you, and you'd smile back, I wish I could still see that ridiculous smile on your face every time you see me.

Hey, how come I didn't notice the grudge between us? When did we start going on the rough patch anyway? Everywhere I go, I see us laughing and smiling. Like we used to. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this. I'm your nobody now, after all.

Despite everything, I wish you best on life. I hope you'll get good grades, I hope you'll eat all the pizza you want, I hope you'd still be able to poo at New Year's Eve, I hope you'd wear your lucky underwear less now-since luck is more often on your side, and, I hope you'll meet a girl that's right. A girl that won't waste anything you gave her. One that loves you for you.

Who the fuck am I kidding.

No, I don't want you to meet anyone else. I was in love with you yesterday, I'm in love with you today, and I'd still be in love with you tomorrow, and the day after that. I'll watch you from far away-like a stalker, pretty much. FML. If we ever meet again, be it at a coffee shop, or at a game store, or maybe we'd both be watching a movie alone, maybe we could re-introduce ourselves, and give each other a second chance.

Goodbye, I guess. I love you, Natsu Dragneel.

Signed,

Lucy Heartfillia

Uhh, I'm sorry, this is actually dedicated to my ex... Sorta. I know you're not supposed to post real life stuff, but I turned it into a fic, so it's okay, I hope...?

In case you didn't get it, Lucy broke up with Natsu and well, this is just her regret letter-ish. I'm supposed to post FT fics to my other account, Chocolatesaregood, but I feel like this is a bit too personal for that, so yeah!

Please fav and/or follow if you enjoyed, and a review helps me out a lot! Please do! I love y'all!

Baii