Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

A/N: I was talking to a friend so this is based off that conversation sort of. Of course as per my style it has something based off of my feeling, and as per KH style I will be pouring in my feelings through the character of Namine. One of my friends with a fanfiction account is in this fic (not you miss Bakura fangirl), and they don't know that. Ok without further adieu I should start this story.

NAMINE POV

I was talking to Sora on the telephone; I had just got back to Radiant Gardens from taking a trip to Destiny Islands. He was out of town since we got out of school, and I wasn't able to contact him until now. We were talking about why guys worked out over the summer, and if smaller guys were bullied more. Things I didn't really understand nor particularly care about, but was still able to hold a pleasant enough conversation about. I was listening to Sora as he talked, and he brought up something we don't usually talk about.

"I don't understand why someone would commit suicide because they were bullied or because they were rejected or denied or whatever."

I cringed in the chair I was sitting in inside of my room. Sora was a rather carefree individual, and he was happy most the time with a good family, supportive things some people wish they had. People like me wish they had. It was very apparent to me that by the comment that he was referring to one of my close friends Roxas. I was a person who understand suicide the wants, and the reasoning even if someone else said that it was selfish or shouldn't be done. I find these relative things. I thought a moment before replying to what Sora said, then spoke.

"I know that you don't know why, and I don't think you will ever understand. Yes I don't think you are the kind of person who has had to understand it."

There was a pause on the line as Sora thought about what I said.

"Yeah I guess your right I never will understand it, it's not something I will ever understand."

We kept talking for awhile about the exercise that Sora, Roxas, Riku, and I did over the summer break. After that we got off the phone, and I went to lie on my bed to ponder what he said.

I sit on my bed thinking. I had once confided to Sora about the thoughts I once had and might still have. Thinking could he really understand the reasoning behind it. The deep emotional pain that leads someone down a path that leads to some sort of oblivion. Sora is a person of happier disposition, of a life that lets him be happy. I was made in a way of the product of my environment only free in my world of paper and pen. There is no way the sentiments of those who know what it's like to be that close to the edge can reach those who have never been there.

By following this conclusion it means that someone like Sora wouldn't understand the thoughts of someone who was suicidal or depressed. He led a life to happy to be able to even comprehend the evils of the world.

I sit on my bed having done enough thinking to reach a conclusion that satisfies me. I think of the return of my trip from the islands, Kairi was with me on the trip. I recall how dearly she called her family talking to her sister Xion, and her mother Aqua so dearly. Talking about how much she dearly missed her beloved, I sat in the room as she made these calls full of. I love you and I miss you. These sentiments of family love that I only received from Yuffie, never receiving them from Demyx or Larxene. Even entertaining the thought of Demyx or Larxene loving me is enough to make me laugh.

Recalling how terribly sick it made me to hear since sincere words. Thinking of the time that I thought of how disgusted it made me feel. Knowing that it was something that I couldn't have infuriated me to the point of irritation and violence on a very high level. Envy is that the deadly sin it was, though repressed it will still eat you along with resentment slowly from the inside.

This heavy thinking tires me though how naïve carefree are not having to worry about these things, how easily they can live their lives. Yet we don't all have the luxury, and some of us yearn for it, others gave up on trying to achieve happiness. Love exists to torture the bitter.

A/N: This is a story close to me (as most my KH fics). Please leave a review on what you think. I may be having bad times soon so I might not update for awhile. I hope you enjoyed it or it made you think a bit. If you read this story and felt empathy I appreciate it, but if all you feel is pity I would prefer you leave your sentiments to yourself (so you can review, but please don't say I feel sorry for you is all).