chapter 1

Clare's POV

I still remember that night vividly in my mind, that was the worst night of my life and the night I lost all innocence and hope in me.I couldn't take all the stares I got and whispers that I heard from random people.I felt like I was covered in dirt and it disgusted me to my core. My friends noticed and I told them nothins was wrong, that I was fine,but they just kept pushing and pushing until I pushed back and drove then all away. So I stand here wondering what everyone's lives would be like without me, and when I think about it they turn out pretty good. Then it dawned on me I cause the problems of the people around me. That one night has made my entire life hell,until it's over...soon.

Flashback

Alli and I were at school late working on the yearbook. I looked out the classroom window and saw it was dark outside.

"Oh my gosh Alli we have to go now"I started gathering things and putting them away.

When we were done we walked down the front steps of the school and saw some guys standing around a picnic table smoking. They didn't seem to notice us so we just walked streets were dark and the weather was getting already reached home and I only had a little ways to go until I heard mumbling and noticed that those guys from the school looked like they were following me so I sped my walking.

" Hey baby where you going!" one of the guys called out.

Panic struck me when I turned around and saw that they were walking closer than before and I started to run when I felt hands wrapped around my waist and pull me back into a hard chest. I started screaming and flayling my arms and legs as they dragged me into a nearby alley. One of the men covered my mouth to muffle my screams. My arms and legs were still flayling when the man holding me tighted his grip causing me to lose my breathe and feel light-headed. My sobs and please were still muffled by the mans hand over my mouth. A tall dark haired man walked up to me and ripped my shirt open and tryed unbuttoning my pants but was delayed when I was kicking my legs. I couldn't help but feel like I've seen this guy before but I couldn't remember.

His hand came in contact with my cheek and I winced at the pain. My pants were at my ankles along with my underwear, the man unbuttoned his pants and they dropped to his ankles. My eyes widened as I realized that this was really going to happen...to me. Fear, courses through my body as all of this was going on. I was hoping this would be like a movie when something bad was about to happen, but the girl was saved just in time. But this is reality ,and no one was coming to save me now.

I was dropped to the ground and pinned down while the dark haired man harshly jammed himself into my entrance. An ear piercing scream left my lips at the impossible pain between my legs. With every scream he thrusted harder and faster while I sobbed underneath him trying to imagine myself somewhere else. The hot liquid spewed as the man came inside me, he pulled out and had a sick looking smile on his face.

"Anyone want some of this?" he said pointing to my naked body on the cold ground.I watched as all 9 men crowded around me, taking turns raping me one by one spilling their semen into me.

It must have been hours or at least that's what it felt like while I was alone, lying on the cold pavement ,motionless. I finally got up and felt a soreness between my legs as I tried to walk home but it hurt so much. I pulled out my phone and dialed any number .The phone rang twice before a groggy male voice game on the other line.

"Hello" he said

"Um...Hi it's Clare...can you please come get me...I-I'm in the alley at the Dot."I said trying to hold back sobs.

"Clare what's wrong?" he asked in a concerned tone

"Please Eli...just come get me" I said crying.

End of flashback

Just thinking about what happened makes me sick to my stomach. I heard soft knocks on the bathroom door followed by a smooth male voice.

"Clare you ok?"he said behind the door.

"I don't know" was all I could say before I started crying. I'm 20 years old and I still cry like a baby. The door opened and Eli walked into the bathroom towards me. He came over and started rubbing my back then embraced me in a hug.

"I don't know what to do"Eli pulled away and guided my chin up with his index finger and looked int my eyes.

"First let's get rid of this" he said taking the razor out of my hand and throwng it in the trash. That razor was the only thing that would relieve me of my shame and anger towards myself. Why did I have to get raped? Why little Saint Clare?, and why would Eli want to be around someone as dirty as me. I was pulled out of my thoughts when Eli said something.

"What happened wasn't your fault" He was looking into my eyes as if trying to read me.

"It must be...I-I cant see why something so horrible had to happen to me...I-I mean I wouldn't wish that on anyone else but...why me?"

"I don't know things just happen and I know you're hurting, but just know that it wasn't your fault" he picked up my wrist and kissed each scar, before he picked me up bridal style and carried me to our room and placed me on the bed laying down beside me wrapping his arm around my waist pulling me close to him. There was a certain warmness when I was around Eli, he always made me feel safe, clean...wanted. Ever since 'you know what' happened he's always been there for me, and loved me just like I loved him.

I loved being around Eli and soon felt my eyes getting heavy and sleep taking over.

That rape scene was so hard to write but I hope you guys liked my first fanfic...more drama,surprises, and heartache in chapter 2...RR!