ENDURING DISTANCE

A EUReKA STORY

PAIRING: Jack Carter x Nathan Stark

AUTHOR: Djap

RATING: PG13

GENRE: Established Relationship, Romance

LANGUAGE: English

DEDICATION: The title of this story is an homage to my favorite slash author: speranza (she doesn't write for this fandom but her works for due south, stargate atlantis and the sentinel are just brilliant!)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the boys and I won't make any money with them. Pity.

SO TAKE A GLASS OF WINE, LIE BACK AND ENJOY

DJAP

…

Enduring Distance

a Djap story

…

"Dad?"

Zoe looked up worried from her homework as her father stepped into the bunker. He looked very angry and his daughter wondered what had happened. Again.

"S.A.R.A.H. beer me!"

Jack finally volunteered, ignoring his daughter completely until he'd drained at least two thirds of his beer. Zoe knew that was never a good sign so she wondered, if she should head over to Pilar's tonight. She certainly didn't want to stay here with her father in that mood. He'd probably call in sick tomorrow, and live from beer, cereals and pizza until he felt better and got back to normal again. He never did bode well with company at those times.

"S.A.R.A.H. refill!"

But instead of draining his second beer her father suddenly somehow deflated and looked so sad that it made Zoe forgo all plans for leaving her dad alone.

"Hey, Zo." He finally offered, still staring at his beer but not drinking any of it.

"Are you alright, dad?"

"No, I'm not." Jack admitted and now Zoe was really scared. She'd seen her father look this devastated exactly once before: the day he'd signed the divorce papers. Suddenly she had a very good idea what might have happened.

"Did you break up with…" She made a pause not sure how to end this sentence best to broadcast the whole meaning. She finally decided to go for honesty, so she went with "…Dr Stark?"

As she had expected his head practically whipped around in her direction, instantly picking up on everything she wanted to tell him. For a few seconds he just stared at her astonished. Then he shrugged before asking: "How long have you known?"

"A few weeks." Zoe admitted shrugging.

"How did you guess?"

Zoe rolled her eyes: "My father's a cop and I'm told repeatedly that I'm not stupid. I would have needed to be stupid and blind not to see it."

Her father smiled before pointing out: "You might have been aware that I was dating, but that doesn't explain how you know about me dating Nathan."

Zoe looked away, a slight blush creeping on her face.

"I saw you once. You didn't notice that I was home from school early."

Jack gulped audibly, also growing very red around his nose:

"You saw us?"

As Zoe realized what her father must be thinking she hurried to explain:

"Don't worry, dad. Nothing graphic. You were just hugging each other and you both looked pretty happy."

"Oookay…" Now Jack took a cautious sip of his beer to hide his embarrassment. For a moment Zoe wondered what exactly her father must have been doing around the bunker, when his fear of being caught at it by her made him this embarrassed. Then again, if her father knew what she had been up to with Lucas lately…

She decided to let it go and let him have his fun.

"So… you two had a fight?" she asked timidly, wondering if her father would answer her. He was such a private man and…

Her musings were interrupted by Jack's sad answer though:

"I knew from the beginning that this was a bad idea. He just didn't want to listen to me."

"Why do you say so? You were practically glowing with happiness and I'm not the only one who noticed: Dr. Stark acted also more different than usual."

"I knew this wouldn't work out. I can't endure the distance Zoe."

And her father looked so lost and sad and helpless she couldn't do anything but go over and pull him into a hug. She expected him to fight her, but he couldn't even bring up the energy to do that. Instead he returned the hug, sighing heavily.

"What do you mean, dad? What distance… there is none… what…" she finally asked confused, trying to comprehend what Jack was telling her.

"Oh believe me, there is!" Jack snorted a habit he might have picked up by his most recent lover. That thought made Zoe look fondly and she broke the hug to offer: "Let's talk about it?"

Jack looked really torn at his little girl. He was obviously hurting really badly and needed to talk but…

Zoe interrupted his thoughts by adding: "I may be your daughter forever, but I won't be a teen forever. Even you have to acknowledge that someday." She spoke the scolding in a very soft and teasing tone to take the sting out of her words. She actually managed to evoke the tiniest of smiles and she knew that she'd won.

"Fine, don't tell me I didn't warn you though. I won't take credit for any nightmares…" Jack teased back and Zoe laughed, punching him in the arm.

"Come on, let's get us some ice cream and some chocolate and let's talk about it. I wasn't going anywhere today anyway, so let's help you through your heartache!"

Suddenly the laughter was gone again and she realized again how serious this was for her father. So she ordered the needed utensils from S.A.R.A.H. and pulled him along into the living room to curl up with him on the couch.

"Tell me what happened!" she prodded gently, looking at her father.

Jack sighed. "The same as always."

"It must have been different if it hurt you like this." Zoe pointed out not believing a word.

"But it's the truth." Jack sounded frustrated " It was exactly the same as usual: He ganging up with Mansfield and Allison on me, being snarky and scathing and making me look like an idiot. Again. Nothing new there. Just…"

"Just what?" Zoe gently prodded starting in on the ice cream.

"It… suddenly it was there. And I couldn't stop thinking about it."

"About what?"

"About the distance."

"I still don't know what you mean with that."

Jack suddenly sprang up and started pacing the room, making a good impression as miming caged animal. He furiously stroked through his short hair and kept rubbing at his face and his eyes as if they hurt. As if he'd been crying before.

"I couldn't stop thinking about…" he started then stopped looking for the right words… "We made love only some hours ago, damn it!" he finally yelled, then added softly: "Sorry about that."

Zoe wasn't sure if he meant the yelling or the content of his confession, so she hurried to reassure him: "Never mind dad! Just keep going. Please explain it to me!"

"I couldn't stop thinking about the way he looks at me every time we…" he blushed again but seemed determined to explain this time, embarrassment aside. "…you know..." He finished lamely but kept going "and I could find nothing of Nathan in the head of GD. It got me scared."

"Tell me about the way he looks at you when you… you know."

Jack finally sat on the couch again, bent over and hid his face in his hands but answered anyway:

"There are so many feelings I don't know where to start, Zoe. So much intimacy. He's just beautiful."

"Yeah he sure is handsome…" Zoe added but Jack shook his head vehemently.

"He isn't just handsome or sexy. He's all that but when he looks at me… then… he's really beautiful. You know how much I loved your mom but…"

"She never looked at you like that."

Zoe finished the sentence for him, not really knowing what to make of that. She looked away as he nodded, not sure which was the right way to react, while she felt her father's pleading gaze burning a hole into her cheek. But to her own surprise she was okay with it. It seemed as if she finally was over her childish wish for her parents to get back together one day. Both of them had moved on, and she just wanted them to be happy.

"But Nathan does." She used Dr. Stark's first name to show her father that she was okay with it and he released a deep breath.

"Yeah."

"What else? Describe it to me!"

Jack shrugged at a loss for words. But when he finally started to name things, he suddenly couldn't stop himself anymore, being aware that he sounded like a badly written romance novel:

"His eyes are gentle and intensive, looking right trough any of my lies. His mouth is turned upwards in amusement, his lips soft and inviting. His dimples are hidden under his beard, which is soft to my touch, his laughter is always rich. There is so much tenderness in his gaze and possessiveness, that most of the time I think I can't even stand it! I never thought this gentleness would be aimed at me."

"You saw him look like that before?"

"No, not exactly like that, but like a faint shadow of it. Back when we both went to rescue Allison and Kevin from Beverly's clutches."

"He loves them." Zoe stated and Jack nodded. "that must mean he loves you too!"

Zoe thought that might shake her father up but Jack just nodded matter of factly:

"I know."

"You knew?"

Jack lifted an eyebrow at her incredulous gaze: "Yeah, of course. I would have been blind and deaf not to know it. He told me so repeatedly." He threw back the words Zoe had used earlier, managing to find her a small smile even when not feeling like it.

"Do you love him back?"

There was no hesitation in Jack's voice when he nodded earnestly: "Yes, of course."

Zoe had the feeling she'd gotten lost somewhere on the way.

"So where's the problem again? You must have realized you two would keep fighting at work. Just because you start dating, you don't change basically who you are – at least not if you want to make it work!"

Jack stared at his daughter obviously astonished at her insight. Then he started nodding:

"Yeah, I knew. That was why I was so skeptical at first, when he started to woe me."

Zoe smiled: "Didn't feel it strange to be the one who got seduced?"

Jack nodded "Very much so. But I have to say I liked the attention."

"So you gave in."

Jack looked sheepish: "Would you have been able to resist?" Then he suddenly looked stern and added: "Actually, now that I think about it more closely: don't answer that! I don't even want to know what would have been your answer."

Zoe chuckled. "So I'm sure you have had fights before at work." She quickly changed the topic again, sparing them both some major embarrassment.

"Yes. But this time was different. I was different. I just kept staring at those hard eyes, the thin line of his lips, all the anger, the harshly spoken words of hate and I couldn't even stand to stay in the same room anymore."

"That's because in your world, everything must be right or wrong. And Dr. Stark lives between those two extremes. At least when he's working as head of GD."

Jack pondered that for a while, before he started nodding: "True."

"Did you talk to him about this?"

"No, I fled from GD. I didn't give him a chance to talk to me. I just wasn't in the mood and I feared what I'd say to him."

"So you don't want to lose him." Zoe pointed out reasonably.

"Of course not: as stupid as it sounds, I want this to be 'happily ever after'!" Jack pouted looking like a scolded schoolboy.

"So you'll both have to fight for this."

"What if we can't win?"

Now Zoe looked angry: "I didn't know my father was a coward."

- "That's because he is none." a deep voice sounded from somewhere near the front door.

"Nathan?" Jack asked, his face going white.

"S.A.R.A.H. let me in. I asked her not to tell you yet that I'm here, because I wanted to surprise you with some food." The scientist lifted a bag full of Chinese food. "I didn't want to disturb you though, so…"

Zoe sprang up from the sofa and hurried over to their visitor: "No, Dr. Stark. Please stay!"

"Are you sure?" Nathan looked very insecure, which rarely happened.

"Yes. I wanted to send him to you anyway. Sit down and talk to him! And you both won't be allowed to come out of the living room, before you have worked this out."

Nathan wanted to contradict but closed his mouth at the angry gaze of the teenager. He lifted his hands in surrender and sat down beside his lover on the couch.

Content with her handiwork Zoe grinned and left the room, while the other two men stared at her retreating form until Nathan finally asked muttering:

"Is your daughter always this bossy?"

"She must have picked it up from her mother." Jack admitted shrugging. When he turned his head he saw Nathan smirk down at him, so he pouted: "What?"

"You sure, she hasn't picked it up from her father?" Nathan teased and Jack blushed a little around his ears. He grew earnest though as Nathan lifted a hand and slowly stroked over his cheek: "So does she finally know about us?"

Jack nodded: "She knew already. Obviously I couldn't hide anything from her."

"And she's okay with it?" Nathan softly inquired, looking concerned.

"Yes. You just saw for yourself."

"Are you alright? You scared me this afternoon." The scientist finally asked, still petting his lover softly, trying to ease the lines of worry on his face.

And Jack had another flash of memory: These whispers, Nathan was using now, were so different from the shouting and always demanding voice of the head of GD, whom he despised so much. This was his lover, showing concern and care. And with that he fell for Nathan all over again within the blink of an eye.

Jack leaned in to kiss Nathan as answer, pouring everything he felt for this gentle creature into that one kiss.

"I love you so much, but I don't know how to stand this, Nathan. The distance is killing me." He finally whispered after breaking the kiss.

Both men were silent after this, just holding each other and pondering what this meant.

"I won't apologize for who I am, Jack." Nathan finally offered sounding pained.

"You don't need to." Jack said and made sure Nathan knew he meant it. "You are, who you are, but I am, who I am. We both can't change. I know that. We both know that."

"So where does that leave us?" Nathan asked, obviously dreading the answer.

"I don't know, Nathan." Jack admitted after a pause, looking sad and lost and very small.

"Do you want to break up?"

Silence fell upon them as both waited for Jack to answer.

"No." Jack finally said and was surprised that he was telling the truth. He really didn't and suddenly a weight lifted from his heart. Beside him Nathan sighed deeply, before pulling him into a hug.

"Thank god for that."

"Zoe was right! I have been a coward when I let Abby leave me, because I wasn't strong enough to hold onto her. But I am no coward anymore, I will fight for this… for us. I will endure the distance, as long as I'll get you as reward."

"I can't promise you roses, you know?" Nathan mocked him softly trying to lift the mood and broadcast his relief while Jack smiled.

"I'll get over it. I'm sure you'll help me."

"I promise."

That earned Nathan another kiss and a sudden sheepish grin on Jack's behalf:

"So, are you ready to face my daughter with me?"

…

Endless End

Finished 01st July 2010