AN: my first attempt at the dark and twisted fic, which I know could have been even more twisted, but one step at a time eh? Review to tell me if you hate it or love it I care not which.

rewritten because a one of the reviewers, Drugedgen, said it could be more twisted, and I was curious if I could write something more twisted. Most is the same though.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Dragon Ball Z

Warning!: very desperate thoughts, violence, and twisted sex.

I Loved you

"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over." - unknown

Its been months since I met you. Every second I fell even deeper. I knew I shouldn't have. Something telling me to run from my feelings. I didn't listen to it though. I stayed by your side through everything. My love growing with each touch, every sweet kiss, and whispered word. I knew I shouldn't have promised you those things, but of course I did.

I thought my life would turn brighter with you. That somehow all my troubles would be gone if you were by my side. And for a while they did. I was on cloud nine. You kept me happy, helped me learn things about myself. I loved you even more for that. I thought that I was in heaven with you by my side.

You kept me sane. Fought away the guilt I felt for my mistakes. You taught me to forgive my past mistakes to be able to live in the present, with you. I loved you with everything I had. I even believed you to be my soul mate. We were happy with each other. I couldn't feel more joy then hear you whisper those three words that made butterflies rise with in me. I didn't notice the change with in you though, and when I did…it was too late.

I was already hooked in to far. I had promised too much. I never back out of my word, I will not do it now. I watched in agony as you went from my care free lover to the chain bound soul I now know. I tried to tell myself you would be fine. I spent endless nights with you in my arms whispering comforts. You cried harder at every word that filled the air. I didn't understand what was wrong with you.

You were so filled with joy. Always moving forward like you taught me too, but you changed. Your delightful smile turned into one of despair. I didn't understand what was happening to make you feel this way. I held you constantly to stop the river of tears, but my affection made them flow faster. I never knew you were capable of those things. You were always so free spirited, I thought the troubles of reality couldn't touch you.

How wrong was I? Each tear that fell from your beautiful orbs tore holes with in my self. I was falling into the abyss with you. My smile grew weaker with each visit, my eyes never lit up with emotion. From my blackened stupor I saw what I thought you were incapable of. The twinkle in your eyes were back when you saw me. But it was twisted. It no longer filled me with joy, but with hate. Or was it fear? I could never figure it out.

You pulled me under, making me believe you would be there with me. Only to find out you had never fallen into the black pool of despair. I was merely a toy to you. Someone to play with while you were feeling down. I tried to pick myself back up, but found I was being held by your vindictive hands. Your smile, I once thought beautiful, was turned into a spiteful one. As I struggled I knew I was falling deeper.

Soon I forgot myself, and your playful hands finally left. I could only think of the one I loved most callously messed about my insides making me think things. I could only remember the shear pain you made me feel, the agonizing twist of fate how I could not hate you. I stopped struggling to the surface, and you were there with me the whole way. Pulling and tugging at me to become myself once more.

I allowed you to build me back up to my former glory. I still loved you enough to forgive what you had done to me. I cherished each moment we were together. I savored the taste of your lips against mine. I cried in joy when I heard those three words again spill from your beautiful mouth. I blinded myself from the truth as I played in heaven again. I never let anyone tell me differently.

We were in love I was sure of it. I knew you didn't mean to hurt me like you did. That you were actually on the bottom of that abyss and when I fell you rose. I convinced myself that I never saw that callous smile on your beautiful lips. How wrong was I? You only wanted to toy with my trusting heart once more. As I fell again I saw you tear every piece of me away leaving me a bleeding mass of anguish.

You never came back after that. I was left to sew myself up. Left to live with the thick scars of disgust. I thought you were my one love, you gave me everything I believed to live for and you selfishly took it away. But my promises were to large, and you wouldn't let me forget them. I was cursed to be forced to love the one I grew to hate. As my once pure beating heart twisted with rage and unshed grief I began to plan. Everything was to go smoothly as you have always wished.

We would marry my little love. Everything was in place. My family cheered as we shared a kiss. I held back my bile from the softness of your soft pink lips. I kept from wiping my mouth of your filth, yet as I stood there my eyes smoldering with hatred I couldn't help but still love your repulsive presence. The wedding night would go as planned. I wouldn't try and do something dirty to your perfect maiden stature.

No my plan would happen years afterward. We were despicably married. I was stuck with your venomous hate filled self. Every touch, every kiss I cursed you. I maliciously scorned you for being your vindictive childish nature. I gave you what you wanted. I gave what I promised. Everyone was smiling with joy in their oblivious eyes. They couldn't see the marks on my soul, they couldn't see the searing revulsion I held for you or your child.

I saw your cold eyes light up with unearthly joy as you told them of the child with in you. For that one second I saw who I thought I loved. Then you looked to me and your marble blue eyes set in place once more. I kept your gaze revealing my hell driven detest for your sorry excuse of a woman. No tears welled up in your blue orbs, not even a shake from your vile body.

A few more months and my plans will be complete. I watched in silence as your child grew making your disgusting body heavy with fat. I saw as people fawned over you in adoration. You took it with grace. I stayed silent as I saw you pain over every day house work. I wouldn't help a horrid woman such as yourself. You destroyed me. I owed you nothing now.

I felt as the child grew stronger within you. I saw the dark discolored bruises it left you with. Silently I encouraged it to hurt you. I knew the time was coming. The time my plan would finally be over with. I promised you one more thing silently years ago. I promised I would never break one, I didn't want to break it. I asked myself many times if I should, but then I remembered…I don't break promises. I kept myself silent for nine months awaiting till that child was out of you.

I saw her face when she was born before you. You had passed out and they had forced the child into my arms. I couldn't hate this creature anymore. She wasn't yours I found out, she was mine. Nothing of her small reddish face resembled your horrid self. Her eyes were the deep black orbs. The look this innocent babe gave me told me I needed to go through with my plan. I wouldn't allow her to grow up in this mess.

Your wickedness would kill my daughter. Her pure unaltered heart deserved to have a normal life, not the hate filled one I lived today. When you woke you snatched my daughter from my hands and crooned to her. I saw my family coo and coddle you both. I had to leave the room it disgusted me so to see your hands on my little girl.

You were laying on the couch. Tenderly stroking my daughters back as she lay on your chest. You are falling asleep watching TV. I know my time to strike is coming near. I watch from the shadows of my own house as your mouth slackens and your rubbing hand falls away. I cautiously pick up my daughter. Her bright dark eyes stared up at me. I smiled the best I could before setting her into the crib.

I went back into the living room to see you are still soundly asleep. I cruel grin curls onto my face. Your pale skin begging me to torture it. I lick my lips hungrily as I slowly make my way towards your sleeping form. I made quick work of keeping you secure. I look down at my handwork. You are completely naked against the deep blue couch. Your shirt is tied around your head and the arm of the couch. Both your hands are tied securely above you with your bra. Your legs are tied to the couch with your pants, and your underwear well those were no where to be found on you when I had looked. You hadn't even woken up.

I pulled the thin knife from my pocket. It is my favorite because it was deadly sharp. Barely touching the razor thin edge got you cut. I stared at with a strange fascination for a few moments then began my work. You woke up as the first cut showed itself in a red dripping line. I saw the complete terror take over your liquid blue eyes. I hear your muffled scream. I slap your pale face hard. I see tears well up in your eyes, then the pure hate shone through your lovely eyes.

I look at my shining little knife and giggle. I press the blade against your creamy breast and begin to make a swirl around your pink nipple. I see the muscle beneath the blade separate before welling up with blood. Your scream barely touches my ears. I stare into your eyes as I bend down to lick at the wound I made. Unfiltered horror coils beneath your hard diamond eyes. A cruel pretty little smirk forms on my lips still soiled by your blood.

I gave you everything I had. I allowed you to destroy my soul twice. I stayed by your side for everything. I kept you safe from harm countless of times. I convinced my self we were in love. I saw only what I truly wanted to see. You pulled me into hell and didn't let go. I soon found that swimming deeper was the only way to relieve myself of my god awful promises.

I push my gleaming beauty into your stomach feeling the skin, muscle, sinew part beneath it. Your blood flows freely now staining my couch. Running in small or large streams down you body marking your pale skin red. I watch in a strange fascination as your sparkling blue eyes dull and film over. Death finally taking hold of you. As I watch your pink lips darken into a bruised looking purple I can't help the blood rushing to my penis.

Leaning over your chilled body I pull the bindings off you before placing my lips over yours. My tongue glides over your still one marveling in your exquisite taste. I hear the plink of blood as it hit's the floor. You are still leaking honey even after death. My cock jumps with in my pants making me moan. I lift from your lips long enough to pull down my pants.

You don't deserve to see my body. I slowly push my self into you. Death's grasp making you stiff and tight. A moan escapes my lips again as I thrust in you again. God was sex ever this good with you before? Cool liquid soaks into my shirt making me shiver. As I feel my need grow I go faster with in you. My orgasm makes me see stars as I shoot my seed into you.

Slowly I get up and see the work I have done to you. In a great bloody mass of swirls. Like our great galaxy. The once blue couch is stained with your blood dripping on the floor in a steady rhythm. I look at your face last. Your blue eyes seemingly staring at me with hate fill eyes even after death. Growling softly I move to your face. Hooking my fingers beneath your eyes I rip them from their resting place. I am tempted to take your eyes and place them in my mouth, but really…why should I give you the pleasure.

I go to the bathroom to wash your stench off me. I look in the mirror to see your bloody pattern faintly impressed into my shirt. Looking at my eyes I see them wide with excitement and aroused. I laugh finally, finally there are emotions touching my eyes other then hate. I clean myself still laughing.

I gave you everything I had. I gave you my soul. I trusted you with my heart and you destroyed me. I thought we were in love. I thought we could be soul mates once. I knew from the beginning that you were bad news. I knew that I would be left heart broken and pained. I didn't listen to myself. I didn't want to listen to myself then. I thought that you were an angel. I thought you would give me heaven, but instead you were a hag from hell. And I fell right into your trap. I allowed you to tear my soul apart until I was only a shell of the man I use to be. I hated you with everything I had, yet somewhere deep with in myself I still loved you.

"I loved you." I said with my baby girl, Pan, in my arms. I stared at your dead corpse. "I told you I didn't break my promises."

"What is evil? Killing is evil, lying is evil, slandering is evil, abuse is evil, gossip is evil: envy is evil, hatred is evil, to cling to false doctrine is evil; all these things are evil. And what is the root of evil? Desire is the root of evil, illusion is the root of evil." - Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

AN: please review. and before people say Gohan would never do tht and blah blah blah. I want to point out that I am not fond of this pairing and I was inspired to write this. at first it wasn't even going to be a fan fic just a drabble for my own twisted self to write and keep to myself, but alas I saw how it could work for them so here we are now. Well turns out I don't have the guts to write completely detailed the way I see it in my head. again leave your thoughts in a review.