thanks again Rikki01 for helping me to edit my stories

I was at Zane's house, we were in his room searching for some stuff for our science project. Well, he was searching and I was watching him do all the work while I was sitting on his bed, he said something about what we were looking for was under his bed but when he was going to search for it he stopped in front of me and started to kiss me. Soon he was lying on top of me but just when he was on top of me a memory rushed over me. I started to shake, and my eyes were full of tears. Zane was so confused; he thought that he hurt me but he didn't, it was me. I just pushed him away and run out of his house as fast as I could.

All the way to my house I cried and that night for first time in seven years I had nightmares about that experience, I woke up crying and screaming my Dad went to my room and held me in his arms until I fell asleep again. He knew and understood what was happening, even if I didn't tell him, that was something that neither of us wanted to remember, but for some reason it came back to my
head.

I woke up at the next day and my Dad had already left, he didn't bother waking me up, he knew that I didn't want to go to school.

Dad came home early from work, he didn't want me to be alone for too long.

A few minutes later Emma and Cleo arrived at my house, they were worried because I wasn't in school. Fortunately Zane didn't tell them about the other day but he told them that he was worried about me.

I didn't know if I should tell them, I turned my head to look at my dad and he moved his head in agreement. I turned my head again to face them I stared at them for a moment and took a deep breath before tell them what I was going to say.

"Well yesterday, while I was at Zane's house making our science project, we started kissing and when Zane was lying on top of me...."

"Oh my God you did it." Cleo interrupted

"Let her talk." Emma told her, shaking her head.

"No Cleo we didn't. When Zane was kissing me I remembered something from my past and I got scared and pushed him away. Then I ran from his house, and then this morning I didn't really feel like going to school."

'Like before' I thought,

"And what was that memory?" Cleo asked me, curious,

"Cleo!" Emma shouted at her, I took another deep breath and sat down,

"Well...I was nine, it was a cloudy day, and I wasn't feeling very well. My dad came into my room to tell me to get ready for school but when I told
him how I was feeling, he told me that if I wanted I could stay at home and my brother was going to take care of me. I remember what my dad told him "take care of your sister she has a bit of fever don't let her go out and please don't leave her alone for once try to control yourself" He was so good and careful with me when he was sober, he used to have a problem with drugs, he hasn't taken drugs all day until his 'best friend' came around and offered him drugs. I begged him not to, really I did, but he didn't care, he didn't listen to me. So, he took them... But his friend told him to go outside to do so, because, and I remember his exact words 'Look, take them outside, you don't want your little sister watching you while you're doing this.'

My brother told him he wasn't allowed to leave me alone, but he insisted that he would take care of me while he was gone. I pleaded with my brother, I told him I didn't like the look of him, I begged him to not leave me alone with him..." Tears were falling down my face and I could see the shock on Emma and Cleo's face,

"But he left anyway, it seemed like his drugs were more important than I ever was sometimes, as soon as my brother left the house he started walking
towards me... telling me how beautiful I was, and how I could do stuff that all the big people do... I just shook my head and ran into my bedroom, not
really understanding what he was saying to me. He ran after me though, so I tried running a little faster but he was so much taller and bigger... and
before I knew it I was on the ground and he was on top of me... kissing me and touching me... I tried so hard to get him off of me, I hit him and kicked him, nothing made him stop... nothing worked. He got what he wanted..." The tears were falling down my face freely now,

"He raped me and after that he just got dressed and left me there, like nothing had happened, I just lay there, bleeding on the cold floor. I don't know how but despite the pain, I got dressed. I tried to walk out to find my brother but before I got to the door I passed out and when I woke up Dad was
home. He found me bleeding on the floor. I was crying my brothers name when he took me in his arms and took me into the hospital, before we left the house we ran into my brother who was too high to know what was going on. The Doctors took me from my Dad and made me do a load of uncomfortable tests, an hour later my brother came to the hospital but Dad wouldn't speak to him. My brother tried hard to talk to both of us when we were waiting for the test results, he told me how sorry he was, he said he didn't know what he was going to do. He wanted me to forgive him... Dad got so angry," I close my eyes as I remember what my Dad said to him,

"He said, 'I told you not to leave her alone, it wasn't too much to ask for. It wasn't too hard! Look what's happened to your little sister, she has been hurt in the worst way possible..." My brother looked so hurt and even then I could tell it made him feel even worse. Dad was the only one who could
get anywhere near me after then, after about a week I finally let myself get close to my brother again. Dad was so busy looking after me that he never even noticed the pain my brother was in. The nightmares started to go after a while, it took a long time but I started to move on. But my brother never did, he never forgave himself for what happened. And after one year, he killed himself." I look down at my hands and will the tears to stop falling down my face,

"And the guy went to prison?" Cleo asked me,

"Yes, but last year he got out which is why we moved here."

"And you didn't tell Zane any of this?" Emma put her hand on one of mine
and tried to smile at me, I shook my head,

"I couldn't, I can't. I am afraid he will hate me..."

"I could never hate you, I love you and nothing will ever change that." I snapped my head up and looked behind me where the voice came from. He had been there all the time, Zane had heard everything. I got so scared at first, but then I realized what I had just heard... He loved me regardless of my past.