Mistakes

I first met Jack at a spaceport in the middle of nowhere. Her ship was there refueling and loading up on supplies. I was there... Well, I was just there.
I guess I must have looked pretty lost and hopeless, because she took one look at me and invited me to got get a drink with her. At first I was wary. I'd met many, rather unsavory people at such outposts where the laws were rarely enforced and everyone knew it. I'm not sure why I accepted but the next thing I knew we were seated at a bar. Me with a glass of water and Jack with a beer. She found it odd that I preferred water to alcohol.

At first our conversation was pretty one-sided, with Jack talking and I just nodding or muttering short replies. She asked me where I was headed. I shrugged and shook my head.
"You don't know?" she asked.
"Well, I can't really thin of anyplace in particular.," I said. "I haven't got much money either. I guess anywhere's just as good as here."
"You don't really wanna stay here, do you? You don't strike me as spaceport materiel."
She was right. Most people who lived at spaceports were either pickpockets or other characters of ill repute. I shrugged again.
She put her beer down and looked at me as if thinking something over.
Finally, she said. "You should come with us."
I was thrown off guard.
"W-What?"
"My friend and me own a ship. Our destinations might not be glamorous but it sure as heck beats this place."
I didn't know what to say. What could I say? I didn't know anything about Jack and her "friend."
She as clearly expecting an answer.
"I dunno..."
"I'm not saying you'd have to join the crew or anything. Our next stop is____, exactly how much money you got?"
I told her.
"That'll get you as far as _____. Plus three free meals every day. What d'ya say?"
What did I say? It was a good deal. I didn't really want to stay at the spaceport.
I asked, "What about your friend?"
"My friend..."she seemed to be debating something in her mind. "He won't care. Besides, the ship's half mine, I can bring whoever I want."
I still wasn't sure.
"Come on. What've you got to lose?"
Noting.
"Alright."

Jack's ship looked like Frankenstein's monster, a conglomeration of old and new parts. I was no expert but I guessed a lot of them were stolen. Not a good first impression.
I really started to regret my decision when I stepped inside. The door closed behind us and everything went dark. I head a mumbled; "Just a sec," and some dim lighting appeared. When my eyes adjusted to the dark. I saw a man standing in the doorway across the room. Jack's friend looked like an escaped convict. He was muscular with a shaved head and shined eyes. He looked angry.
"Who the heck is that?" he demanded.
Jack started to look a little worried. "Her name's Len."
"You know that's not what I mean!"
"Calm down Riddick, I checked her out. She's gonna go to ____ with us."
Riddick quickly crossed the room to Jack.
"She's what?! You told her she could come on my ship-"
Now Jack was angry too.
"Your ship? This ship is mine too!"
"Then you should've at least asked me! You can't just bring people you pick-up off the streets to the ship!"
"I told you, she checked out!"
They went on like this for a while until Jack said, "She's paying!"
Riddick paused and glanced at me. "How much?"
Jack told him.
"That's not much Jack." His tome was quieter more annoyed then angry.
They talked quietly for a few minutes. They were speaking very softly, but I heard Jack say, "No where to go" and something like "you can keep all the money."
Riddick was satisfied with this and with one final glance in my direction, left the room.
Jack sighed.
After all that, I was thinking I'd be better off taking my chances on the spaceport.
"Maybe it'd be better if I just-"
"Oh no, you're not backing out now," she said, shaking her head. "You heard what I had to go through to get him to agree."
I thought of running out the door but Jack picked up my one bag and said, "I'll show you where you'll be stayin'."

I remained in my room for eighteen hours, seventeen minutes, and fifty- two seconds. I know because I stared at my watch the entire time.
Jack came and asked if I wanted to got get some food in the galley. I didn't really want to leave my room but I didn't want to be rude either. She had defended me to Riddick after all.
"What do ya wanna eat?" she asked as she searched through the cupboards.
"I'm not really hungry."
She gave me a strange look.
"I said meals were free,. Remember/"
"Yeah, I know," I said.
"Is it cause of the stuff Riddick said?" she asked. "Ya know, he doesn't really think you're a freeloader."
"No, it's not that. I'm just not hungry. Really." I don't' think I was very convincing but she dropped it.
Of course my not wanting to eat had everything to do with Riddick. It was obvious he really didn't want me there.
For the next twenty hours I told Jack I had some food with me so I was all right. It wasn't completely a lie. I did have some gum, which, ironically, only makes you hungrier.
Eventually, she got wise to my plan to live off Jucyfruit. She brought some food to my room and wouldn't take no for an answer. Satisfied that I wasn't going to starve she said, "You know, you don't have to stay in here forever. You're free to move about the ship."
Seeing my hesitation she said, "You don't need to worry about running into Riddick. He won't bother you. He may seem frightening but he's not so bad as long as you leave him alone. He'll probably avoid you anyways, he's not very social."

Despite what Jack had said, I rarely left my room, except for a couple of times each day to go to the galley. My only entertainment was to read the one book I had with me cover to cover, over and over again. It wasn't a very good book but at least it was long.
After finishing it for the third time I decided to go through all my things and see if I couldn't find a better diversion. I dumped everything out on my bed. Shirt, toothbrush, underwear, gum wrapper, switchblade. Hmmm... I'd brought the knife incase of emergencies but I'd never had to use it. I studied it; the way the light glinted off the metal, the sharpness of the blade. There was something about it that seemed eerily beautiful. I put it back in the bag and went to sleep.
My dreams were filled with haunting voices from my past. Parents, friends, teachers. Images of my home. I awoke in a cold sweat.
As I choked back a sob I cured myself for my weakness. Angry at myself I grabbed my pack and burled it against the opposite wall. Realizing how much noise I'd just made I crossed the room ad began picking up the objects that had spilled out. I crammed everything back in: shirt, toothbrush, switchblade-
The switchblade caught my attention. I opened it and without thinking made a small cut on the inside of my left forearm. At first it stung but as I watched the blood run I felt a certain...satisfaction. It felt wonderful! I made a few more cuts before realizing that Jack would notice if I didn't change my shirt. So I changed to long sleeves, problem solved.

When I got to the galley I found Jack and Riddick talking. I'm not sure what they were saying but they stopped as I walked in. In order to leave the room, Riddick had to pass by me. AS he reached the door, he hesitated and looked at me. I detected a smirk in his all-black eyes.
We ate in silence.
Later, as I sat in my room alone I thought about Riddick and how he had looked at me. He hated me.
My thoughts turned to the switchblade sitting on my bed. I looked at the cuts on my arm. Too obvious. I rolled up my pant leg and made a few cuts on my shin. It looked so good, seeing the droplets of blood form.
I skipped the rest of my meals that day and the next. All I could think about was cutting. Eventually I thought to go eat something so Jack wouldn't worry.
Leaving my room I walked down a corridor turned a corner and ran into Riddick. Literally. I tried to back away but he grabbed my arm. He pulled up my sleeve revealing the scars there. I tried to brake free but his grip was too strong.
"Havin' ourselves a little fun with sharp objects are we?" he said.
"I don't know what you're taking about," I muttered, eyes on the floor. I've never been a very good liar.
"I'm talkin' about the fresh blood on your leg."
"Let go of me," I said. I pulled my arm back and this time he let go.
I ran back to my room and picked up the switchblade. I studied it again. It didn't seem so beautiful now. Bow it looked like a monster. A hungry monster.
I carefully set it down on the bed and said, "No more. He knows."
I didn't know how but he knew.
I sat on the floor with my back against the bed. I thought of the home I'd left and how I could never go back. I thought of the place I was headed and of the place I was now; in the middle of empty space with two people I didn't know, one of which hated me. I turned my head and looked at he switchblade. The monster was calling me.
I picked it up and made a deep cut on my left shin. A slice. I didn't feel anything. The blood started to flow immediately. It formed deep red droplets at the cut and trickled down towards my ankle. I didn't care.
I had been sitting there like that for about an hour when I heard Jack's voice at the door.
"Len? Can I come in?"
No, I thought, go away.
"Len, are you all right?" she sounded worried.
"Open the door kid!"
It was Riddick! Why had he come?
A few seconds later, the door slid open and Jack and Riddick entered. Or was it a few seconds? My mind felt groggy, like I was about to fall asleep.
Jack knelt down by my side. Riddick took the switchblade from my hand. I was too weak to protest.
Jack said something I couldn't make out. Riddick's reply was something about stitches.
That's all I remember because then I blacked out.
When I woke up I was lying on my bed with a bandage on my leg. Jack was sitting in a chare across the room. She smiled when I opened my eyes.
"How do you feel?" she asked.
"Hungry," I said before I could catch myself.
She said, "I'll go get you something to eat.." and left.
A couple of seconds afterwards I heard the door open. I looked over expecting Jack but Riddick was standing there. He was holding the switchblade.
"Hey that's mine!" I said.
He smiled, "Not anymore it isn't."
I turned my head to face the wall.
"I've seen a lot of people do a lot of stupid things," His voice was closer now, right by the bed. "I've seen people learn from their mistakes, -- and I've seen people die because of them." He paused. "Are you willing to learn or do you wanna die?"
He left.
What was he talking about? Learning, dieing, what did it matter?
Jack returned then. I guess she had been giving him a chance to lecture me.
Riddick didn't seem like the lecturing type.

Two more weeks passed. When we arrived at ____ I bid Jack farewell. I thanked both of them for the ride.
"Remember what I told you kid," was all Riddick said.
Yeah, I'll remember.