Disclaimer: a short parody about Dawn of the Dead written Halo style.
Dawn of the Flood
The Minor Elite (Blue) walked through the ever-deepening snow, leaving large boot prints. The Blue Elite was, unfortunately, left on his own. The reason for his lonesome was that his entire contingent of Grunts and Jackals had been brutally eaten by the Flood. Naturally, the Blue Elite had ran away in the opposite direction to the Flood when he saw a Jackal being ripped open and its vital organs eaten by a very large group of Flood Combat Forms. The screams had been rather long and drawn out.
So, the Elite continued forth on its journey, knowing all to well that the Flood would eventually catch up with him and devour him. He knew this because he had already fought off or ran away from increasingly larger mobs of Flood. And the situation was looking bleak. Every so often, the Elite came across dead Grunts, Jackals and Elites, all of which had been eaten and the leftovers discarded.
The Blue Elite approached a door. The Elite, finding nowhere else to go, shrugged and brought forth his Plasma Rifle. The Elite went through the door, crouching. It wasn't the absence of rotting corpses that surprised the Elite, nor was the lack of Flood. It was the large force of Covenant troops that were gathered around a Gold Elite that surprised him. The Elite sighed with relief. He wasn't alone! Then the Gold Elite yelled in fright at the Blue Elites surprise entrance. The Covenant forces turned around and aimed their guns at the newcomer. When they saw that he wasn't a large, mutated George W. Bush look-alike, they relaxed.
"Hmm, it seems another survivor has joined our midst" said the Gold Elite, pointing out the TOTALLY OBVIOUS.
The Covenant Troops relaxed and turned back to the Gold Elite.
"What shall we do, Excellency?" asked a Red Elite.
"Well, first we must find a place that we can escape the Flood"
"And then what, Excellency?" asked another Red Elite. The Gold Elite looked straight into the Red Elite's eyes.
"We try to do what the people on Survivor do" answered the Gold Elite
"What? Complain about the weather, get half naked and sue the director for being incompetent?" asked the Red Elite.
"…..No, we try to survive" replied the Gold Elite, cue dramatic music.
"Where the hell's that music coming from?" asked the Blue Elite, whose name is jilamanel.
"I don't know. It always plays when I say something dramatic" answered the Gold Elite, whose is bob. Nah, I tell a lie, it's jilamanee.
"Oh" said jilamanel.
"Anyway, my brothers…" started the jilamanee.
"Actually, I'm a girl" interrupted a nearby Grunt. Jilamanee glared at the Grunt.
"FINE, my Brothers and SISTERS" said jilamanee.
"That's better" said the female Grunt.
"… We must head to the Sacred Rings Control Room. It shall be safe there. I've heard they have Sky there" explained jilamanee.
"Oooh" chorused the Grunts, Jackals and Elites.
"… Quite, anyway, it is not to far away, so some of us SHOULD survive" stated jilamanee. The Covenant shifted uneasily at that last comment.
"Anyway, to the Control Room!" yelled jilamanee, dramatically. Dramatic music from before plays.
"Dammit!" yelled a Red Elite "I hate that music!" the Covenant Force moved as one and exited the room in which they had sought refuge. And began, the Clone Wars did.
Disclaimer: what do you think? Yes I know it is short. Just review, dammit.