CLEANING OUT MY CLOSET

Pairing: Billy 'Wiccan' Kaplan/Teddy 'Hulkling' Altman

Warning: mentions of blowjobs and rimming, methodical traumatizing of a stuffed crocodile.

Summary: Teddy is exploring Billy s closet and finds something compromising

A/N: God I fucking HATE this site... Whoever made it was obviously an idiot.

xxXxXxx

Rummaging through closets was always fun, Teddy decided. It was almost like being on Room Raiders, except a) Teddy knew whom the room belonged to and b) he already had a boyfriend. Coincidentally the two were combined.

"Will you stop violating my closet?" Billy demanded, sitting cross-legged on the floor not far from where Teddy was, glaring sulkily.

"Not a chance. This is way too much fun! The life and lies of William Joshua Kaplan, finally revealed!" Teddy laughed, dragging out an old stuffed animal: a crocodile, to be precise, with a very wide grin made of white felt teeth.

"Mr. Toothy!" Billy exclaimed before he could stop himself. He blushed crimson and snatched the stuffed toy from his grasp when Teddy raised an eyebrow with a grin to rival the croc's. Billy looked the crocodile over, however, when Teddy pretended to return to his Indiana Jones-worthy Raid of the Lost Closet, and smiled fondly.

"He kinda looks like you." The mage said absently, squishing Mr. Toothy's long snout to his nose. Teddy snorted as he looked through the old Avengers scrapbook he'd found, smiling at the proliferation of pictures and articles on Wanda Maximoff.

"I'm hotter." He said in his defense. Billy smirked.

"Nah. Mr. Toothy's had my heart since I was two and a half." He said. Teddy had to laugh, and returned to his mission. He saw something scrunched up that looked suspiciously like denim and pulled it out. Billy groaned as Teddy unfurled the incriminating garment.

"Oh. My. God, Billy has emo jeans." Teddy said to no one in particular, kneeling and holding them up in a mix between horror and hilarity.

"Oh god, kill me now!" Billy moaned, hiding his face in Mr. Toothy. They were tight, dark, dark blue and quite plain, but nevertheless incredible.

"Come on, put them on for me!" Teddy urged suddenly, crawling over and waving them. Billy stared.

"Are you crazy? I've never worn them! I'm never going to!" He said furiously. Teddy grinned.

"Aw, go on, for me?" He begged. Billy folded his arms and looked away.

"Please? Please? Pretty please with a blowjob on top? Pleeeeeeease?"

"No." Billy refused flatly. Teddy leaned in closer and sucked on Billy's earlobe, causing a shudder to run through him.

"For me? I bet you'll look hot in them..."

"No..." But Billy didn't sound so sure now.

"Y'know," Teddy said huskily, "I meant it about the blowjob."

Billy looked at him long and hard before snatching the jeans and standing up to unbutton the faded pair he was already wearing.

"You owe me two blowjobs and a trip on top, ok?" Billy snapped as he pulled his jeans down roughly. Teddy leaned back against the bed and crossed his arms behind his head, enjoying the show.

"That's cool with me. I sorta like it when you top."

Billy, one stripy-socked foot in a pant-leg, looked up, slightly flushed. "Really?"

Teddy nodded. "Yes. Now get those jeans on!" He ordered. Billy sighed and tugged them up with a bit of difficulty, they were so tight, but did it in the end, quickly zipping the fly and doing up the button. He scowled.

"Is this ok now?" He demanded. Teddy nodded. The jeans hugged Billy's slim but not quite thin legs perfectly.

"Turn around?" Teddy asked. Billy did so huffily, arms folded across his chest and shoulders hunched moodily. Teddy, in the meantime, was admiring how well those jeans encased Billy's ass and made it all pert and delicious and frankly bitable and a huge numbers of things it usually was but not in such amounts as it was in his costume. Teddy felt a familiar rush down to his nether regions, his cock hardening.

"Can I take them off now?" Billy whined. "My legs are suffocating."

Teddy knelt and knee-walked over to him, wrapping his arms around Billy's thighs and rubbing his face on one of those pert buns. Billy squeaked and turned his torso, staring down at Teddy with a vivid blush dusting his cheeks.

"Sure," Teddy said cheekily, biting gently on that sweet denim-covered flesh, "if I can turn one of those blowjobs into a rimjob."

Billy grinned as Teddy's fingers began deftly undoing his fly.

"Maybe I should wear these jeans more often..." He mused, helping Teddy push them down.