My Only Sunshine

You are my sunshine

"Please, don't go."

Your plea breaks my heart, and for a moment, I don't want to leave. For six long years, we were Potter and Malfoy, Hogwarts' most famous rivals, and after such a long time, we've finally found each other. However, war is not a good time to fall in love, and though we've only just found each other, we have to be separated again. I have to leave you, my beautiful, sarcastic sunshine, and even though I would rather stay here with you then go out to battle to meet my death, I know deep in my heart that I can't.

I have to leave you here, all alone, because I love you.

I turn around to face you, and try to paste a smile onto my face, to keep the tears from falling. "It's the only way, Draco, you know that. If I don't go, who's going to destroy him?"

You shake your head vigorously, refusing to listen to me. "There are so many other people out there, so many people who can kill him! Why you? Why do you have to go into battle?"

"No one else can stop him. You know that. I'm the 'Chosen One'." I spit out the last words with contempt. I hate that I was condemned to a life I never wanted to live, hate that I was destined to fight the Darkest Wizard of all time and probably die in the process, hate that I have to leave you just because of a stupid prophecy.

"Then at least let me come with you! Let me fight by your side and protect you!" You cry brokenly, and my heart breaks just that bit more. If only everything could have been different.

I walk over and sit beside you on the bed. "You know you can't, Draco. Ever since you left Voldemort to join the Order, every single Death Eater has been trying to kill you. If you fight now, you'll die in seconds." And I won't be able to live with myself if that happens, I add to myself.

You turn your head away from me, and I've known you long enough to know that you're mad at me.

I cup your chin in my palm and turn your head to face me, trying desperately to get you to face me, trying to tell you I love you for the last time before I have to go. "Hey, don't worry, okay? You're not getting rid of me that easily. I'll be back, Draco, I promise. You are my Sunshine, remember? How can I leave you?"

I kiss you then, a kiss as sweet as the one we first shared, a kiss I know will probably be the last one we ever share.

"Goodbye, my Sunshine." I whisper, and I walk out the door, forcing myself not to look back, because I know if I do, I will lose my resolve and stay here with you forever.

I think I hear your quiet response as I walk to my doom. "Goodbye, Harry."

My only sunshine

You're lying there, still sound asleep at seven in the morning, and I feel my heart melt at the adorable sight even as a wicked grin appears on my face.

"Wake up!" I shout in your ear, bouncing up and down on your bed.

You groan before opening your sleepy eyes to look at me. "C'mon, Harry, its seven in the morning!" You grumble, and I laugh.

"Such a bright little ray of sunshine in the morning, eh?" I remark, still attempting to shake you awake.

You simply groan again before rolling over, turning your back to me and burying your face in your pillow. "Go away Harry, I want to go back to sleep."

A wicked plan suddenly forms in my head, and I sneak into the bathroom to get a pail. Shaking with silent laughter, I fill it with ice-cold water from the tap before going back to your room. I hear a mumbled "Harry?" coming from you, and that just serves to make me laugh even harder. I can just imagine your reaction when you're woken by ice-cold water.

Quickly, I empty the contents of the bucket onto you before sitting on the edge of your bed to watch the show. You wake up, spluttering, and I can't control the laughter I've been trying to hold back anymore.

You growl at me, an amusing sound for someone who's usually so refined, and another idea comes to my mind.

"Can I call you sunshine from now on?" I stop laughing long enough to ask you cheekily.

"Harry James Potter!" You roar, and as I dive off the bed and run towards the door, laughing the whole time, I see you chasing after me, still in your pajamas and dripping wet.

Yes, your reaction is exactly as I had imagined.

"Bet you can't catch me, Sunshine!"

You make me happy

I sit at the kitchen table, waiting for you to wake up. I'm trying to read the Daily Prophet to distract myself from what I'm about to do, but it isn't working; I've been reading the same line at least seven times now.

Today, I want to tell you how I really feel about you. The day you turned up, dripping wet and badly beaten up at my door was the day I finally realised that you were not just a Malfoy, you were a scared teenager, just like me. It was the day I realised you were human, too. When you turned up, bleeding from countless injuries, I didn't know what to do, and so I bandaged up your wounds and tried to listen to you as best as I could. It was the only thing I could do, after all. After that, when you woke up screaming from nightmares, I simply sat beside you and watched helplessly as you cried. I've never felt more useless in my life.

Even now, a few months after we turned up at Grimmauld Place unannounced, most of the Order still doesn't trust you. I can see it from the way they glare at you behind your back, from the way they give you strained smiles whenever they see you. I just can't understand why they don't see that you've changed, that you're no longer a Death Eater in training. I can see the hurt in your eyes whenever someone's actions tell you once again that they're just tolerating your presence, not accepting you, and so I try my best to care for you, to make time to talk to you every day. It's just like my childhood all over again, only this time, the Order is Dudley and his gang, and you're me. Why am I the only one who sees it?

At first, spending time with you was just a way to make you feel accepted, but later on, it became a way for me to stay sane. As reports of Death Eater attacks increased, and the threat of Voldemort increased tenfold, I started to feel depressed. How on Earth would I defeat someone as powerful as this? When I talked to you, however, I could stop being Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived for a little while and just be Harry. You're funny, witty, and sarcastic, and often you're the only one who can make me laugh in these dark times. You cheer me up when I'm down, and the few times I lost control and started crying, you were there to comfort me and make me feel so much better, just by being there and letting me know I'm not alone in this fight.

Sometime in the months you've been here, I've started calling you "Draco" even in the privacy of my own mind.

Somewhere along the laughter, the tears, the nightmares and the conversations we've had, I think I might have fallen for you.

Suddenly, I see you coming down the stairs, and I have to take a deep breath to keep from freaking out completely.

You sit in front of me, and calmly say, "Harry, I need to tell you something."

I set aside my newspaper to listen to you, and convince myself to tell you how I feel no matter what you might want to tell me.

"Harry, I-"

"Draco, I love you. You make me happy, even in these times of darkness and fear. Will you be my boyfriend?" I blurt out, before you even finish speaking.

You smile, and I feel myself grinning in response as you answer.

"Yes, Harry."

When skies are grey

It's a stormy day, the sky overcast and the rain falling in sheets, when you come to me. Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon and Dudley are all out, and I'm enjoying a rare day of solitude when I hear the knock. When the door opens to reveal you standing there, drenched from the rain and covered in blood from at least ten different wounds, I can only stand there gaping in shock.

"Malfoy? What the hell happened to you?" I gasp out.

You're soaking wet from the rain, but the rain running down your skin mixes with the blood from open wounds and turns red. Your arm hangs at a weird angle, and you're leaning heavily on one leg. Yet you somehow still manage to appear the proud, aristocratic prat I've always known.

"Potter." You spit out, and your voice is somehow as condescending and filled with hate as it always was.

I can only stand there in shock as you push past me to the living room, flopping down onto the couch. A wince appears on your face, but disappears as quickly as it came. I follow you into the house, still shocked that Draco Malfoy, of all people, has appeared at my door at 3 in the morning.

"Malfoy, what are you doing here? You can't just barge into my house uninvited!" I finally manage to get over my shock and disbelief and move to stand in front of you, arms crossed and frowning.

"It would seem I have already done that, Potter." You answer in the same irritating drawl you've always had, and I can't help but wonder how you can still be such a git when you're bleeding and injured.

This makes me even more sure that the injury isn't as bad as it seems, and so I ask the question that has been on my mind since you appeared at my door. "How do I know you're not a spy?"

You raise an eyebrow and give me your Potter, are you really that stupid look. "Potter, I hate you. If I were really on the Dark Lord's side, do you think I would have come to you for help, instead of, I don't know, my parents?"

"Yeah, come to think of it, why aren't you at the Manor?" I ask you in response. I can't think of any reason why Draco Malfoy, of all people, would be at my house in the middle of the night, instead sleeping among his silk sheets in his expensive pajamas at home.

You somehow manage to look even more incredulous than before, and I start to think, rather childishly, that I should have left you outside if you're just going to insult me and make me feel stupid. "Who do you think did this to me?" You ask slowly, in the same way one would use when talking to an especially dim child.

My eyes widen in shock. Could it really be that you were beaten up by your own father or the Dark Lord? "Oh." I say rather coherently.

"Oh indeed." I hear you mutter sarcastically. "Yes, you dimwit, my own father did this to me because I decided I don't want to be like him. I managed to run away while he was on a raid. I had to get help, and no one on your side trusts me, except maybe you."

Right then, I suddenly realise that you're just like me. A confused boy who's been nothing but a pawn in this war started by our fathers, and who's lost his entire family because of it. I start to feel something akin to pity deep in my heart. I may hate you, but no one, no one, not even my most hated enemy, should have to go through the pain of losing your parents. Worst, your parents left you in the worst possible way, and I can't even imagine what kind of father would actually do that to his own child.

You seem to notice this, because you snarl, "I don't need your pity, Potter. I just need help with my injuries and perhaps a place to stay for a while."

Suddenly, it hits me that you're here, in my house, bleeding and possibly dying. "Oh right, you're injured. Wait a moment." I leave the living room to get the medical kit, feeling guilty that for a moment, my distrust of you had almost made me forget that you need help.

When I come back, you're already asleep on the couch. I move to help you with your injuries, and as I think about the situation, I realised that I can't let you go through this alone. Just like me, you've lost your parents, and while that meant I was abused and told I was worthless for 10 years, I'm determined that what I had to go through will not happen to you. You may be my worst enemy, but I wouldn't wish my fate on any one else, not even you.

Knowing you can't hear me, I whisper a promise to you in the dark. "I may hate you, but losing your family...it's painful. I can't let you go through this alone, no matter how I might feel about you. It's not right. Malfoy, from now on I promise I'll always be here for you when you're down, when the skies are grey and all hope seems lost. I'll be here."

You'll never know, dear

As I emerge from the Pensieve, I feel horrified. All this time, I've been raised like a pig for slaughter. All this time, I was never meant to survive the war. I was protected from the Dark Lord, time and time again, because my final destiny was to be murdered by him. I was the "Chosen One", the one who was chosen to die at the hands of Voldemort since the day he was born.

I laugh, a laugh filled with anguish. I can't help it. I was never meant to have a life. I was never meant to grow up like a normal child, was never meant to get a job, to have a family, to fall in love...

My eyes widen, and my laughter stops suddenly. Draco. I promised you I would be back. I promised you I would come back to you, that I would be by your side forever. I promised you, and now I won't be able to keep my promise.

I will never get to grow old with you, to see your face lined by years of laughter and smiles, to see our children and grandchildren playing in the sun, to be with you as our limbs grow rusty and unused from old age. I won't get to spend a lifetime with the one I love, all because of some stupid prophecy.

I scream in anger. "Why didn't anyone tell me? Why didn't anyone tell me I had to die in the end? If I had known, I wouldn't have fallen in love! Why?"

I feel shaken to the core. You will be heartbroken when I'm gone. How can I just leave you like this? I refuse to die, I refuse to give up my life and my future just like this! No one can prevent me from staying with you, no one can make me go to meet my death! It's my life, and if I want a life with you instead of Death at the hands of the man who killed my parents, no one can stop me!

As I make my decision not to face Voldemort, I suddenly realise something. If I don't die, the future I dream of having with you will never come true either. If I don't die, Voldemort will never be defeated, and instead of seeing your face lined by years of laughter and smiles, I will see your face lined by years of worry and fear. As long as I'm alive, Voldemort will be too, and his reign of merciless killing and cruelty will never end. Many more people will give up their lives in the fight against him, and you might be one of them. If I don't sacrifice my own life, many people will have to sacrifice theirs, and this era of darkness and fear will never end. No one will be happy, including you.

The truth hits me hard, and I can't stop the sob that escapes me. I want you to be happy and safe, and if that is to happen, then I will have to die.

I walk towards the Forbidden Forest, tears streaming down my face. I've decided I will do this, not for the Wizarding world, but for you. I will do this for my Sunshine.

You'll never know, dear, why I had to leave you, but I want you to know that I had to leave because I love you.

How much I love you

We walk along the lake, hand in hand. After much persuasion from both of us, the Order has finally allowed us to spend some time out of the dark and oppressing building that is Grimmauld Place. This is the first time we're spending time together with absolutely no one else to disturb us. It's almost like...a date.

Today is also the day I've decided I will pop the question. We've been together for only a short while, but I'm sure I want to spend the rest of my life with you, making you happy. I want to be with you for all eternity.

I know that the middle of a war is not the best time to get married, but after a long struggle with myself, I decided it can't wait. I love you too much, and it doesn't matter if we're at war.

I'm nervous now, extremely nervous. What if you say no? I kick random leaves and stones along the path, scuffing the toe of my shoe against the dirt, and as we near a bench with a beautiful view of the lake, I decide that this will be the best place to propose to you.

We sit in silence for a while, and we watch as the sun sets, painting the sky and the lake brilliant shades of pink and orange. The breeze dislodges some leaves from a nearby tree, and leaves of red and yellow float over the lake. As I sit there, my hand in yours, your head on my shoulder, I can't help thinking that this is exactly like a sappy romance novel. It is the perfect setting to ask the question I've been wanting to ask for a long time.

I clear my throat, before releasing your hand and removing your head from my shoulder, and suddenly I'm hit by a bout of nerves. I don't know what to say, and I can't meet your eyes directly, choosing instead to look everywhere else. After what seems like an eternity of silence, I force myself to speak.

"Draco, I...well, we've been together for quite long now...I mean, we've only been together for a few months, sure, but we've known each other for years now, and we've spent most of these years hating each other...argh I'm just messing it up. I mean, I love you and all Draco, so I was wondering..."

You put your finger on my lips to stop my babbling, and say, "I know, Harry. I understand."

I blink at you in surprise. "So..,you'll say yes?" I feel my heartbeat speed up in my chest. This is the moment I've been waiting for, the moment that will decide whether I get to spend the rest of my life at your side.

Your response surprises me. "Yes, Harry, I just want you to be happy, and I understand if I'm not the one who can give you that."

My whirring thoughts come to a stop immediately, and my eyebrows furrow. You think I want to break up with you? "Wait, what? No, that's not what I meant! No, why would you think that? I messed this up, didn't I? What I meant to say was-"

I take a deep breath, get off the bench, and get down on one knee before you, determined to do this right this time round. I take out the box from where I had placed it inside my pocket, and open it, showing you the ring inside.

I lift my eyes to meet your startled silver ones, and say as sincerely as I can, "I love you, Sunshine. You have no idea how much I love you. You make me happy, and I want to be by your side for the rest of your life. I promise to love you forever. Will you marry me, Draco?"

You sit there, still shocked for a moment, before a brilliant smile appears on your face.

"Yes, Harry, of course I'll marry you!" You blurt out happily, and hug me tightly, before kissing me.

I promise you forever, Draco, and though forever will have to wait until after Voldemort is defeated, I'm willing to wait.

Please don't take my sunshine away

I walk further into the Forest, determined to see it through to the end for you, but a part of me is still in denial. There has to be another way, there has to be a way to defeat Voldemort and still live. There has to be a way we can end this, without having to end what I have with you.

I look up into the sky again, and tears stream down my face. "Please, I beg you, whoever you might be. Don't take me away from Draco, don't take me away from my Sunshine." I whisper, and when there's no answer, I start to sob. "Please, don't take my sunshine away from me." I sob brokenly, and when there's still no reply, I know this can only end one way. As I continue to walk towards my death, I think of you. I think of your smile, your laugh, your smirk, the way you can make me smile even when I'm sad, the way your sarcasm and wit often made me laugh when it wasn't aimed at me. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, the only light in the darkness that envelops our world, and I'm sorry it took us six years to realise that. You make me happy, Draco, and you've cheered me up so much ever since you came to me that stormy afternoon when the skies were grey. You'll never know why I had to leave you, but I hope you'll realise it's because I love you. You don't know how much I love you, Draco, and I wish there was some other way, but there isn't. For you to be happy and safe, I have to leave you, my sunshine.

As I walk into the clearing, the Death Eaters start to cackle, and there, in the center, is Voldemort. He grins broadly, an evil grin so different from your beautiful smile.

Suddenly, I realise I'm not afraid to die. The only emotion I feel is regret, regret that I'll never get a lifetime with you. I'm not afraid, because I'm doing this for you. I'm giving my life up for you.

"Harry Potter." I think of your smirk, the smirk I had hated for so many years. I fell in love with it when I fell in love with you.

"The Boy Who Lived." I think of your smile, something I had never gotten to see before you turned up at my door that stormy night and became my love. Your beautiful smile, that transformed you from a high and mighty pure blood aristocrat into someone more human.

"Come to die." I think of my friends, think of my family, but mostly, I think of you.

Voldemort raises his wand as soon as he says these words, and I know what's coming next.

Goodbye, my sunshine.

"Avada Kedavra."

You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine,

You make me happy,

When skies are grey

You'll never know dear

How much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

"...Draco?"

"Harry?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I died, genius."

"What?! But why, how did you..."

"Shut up, Harry. Now, you promised me forever, didn't you? We have forever now."

"...Yes, we do."

"..."

"Oh, and Harry?"

"Yes, Sunshine?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."