He fell down to the floor, with the berserker firmly fixed in the middle of the scar of Loki and his body covered with blood. She ran towards him, but he reached out a hand to stop her.
"No" he said, coughing more thick red liquid. "Go away, you are… an assassin"
"No!" she screamed and her eyes flew open. "Phil!"
May felt the sheets tangled in her legs, and straightened on her elbows to look around. Her heart stopped when she saw red spots on the bed and in her hands, but then realized it wasn't his blood, she had nailed her nails too hard on her palms in her sleep.
"It was just a dream" she whispered out loud, letting herself fall heavily against her pillow.
Stupid nightmares. That one had not been very uncommon compared to the others; they usually ended with her as a murderer or her team dead. Sometimes both. The only difference consisted in Phil's words; he had never called her something like that.
She rolled on the bed and reached out to turn on the light on the nightstand. In the alarm clock could see that it was three on the morning, what caused her to drop a snort. She hadn't sleep enough, and she wouldn't be able to get more rest before it was time to wake up. In a small attempt to distract herself, she picked up her phone and absently began reviewing the notifications she had. Geez, they were at least two hundred messages in the team chat-group; apparently Mack and Hunter had a big fight over who had broken (again) an Xbox control until Coulson had commanded silence, stating that he refused to buy a new one. A small smile spread across her face. He was good with the kids; unlike her, he had always been good with people in general.
She selected his contact and watched it for a few seconds. There was no profile picture, which was quite logical, considering that they were agents and no one else had one. She wondered which photo he would use if he could have one. Perhaps one of him and Audrey, maybe one of himself, on vacations, using some shorts and a pair of sunglasses. He liked German shepherds, she recalled, and smiled when she thought of how capable he was of using one of Captain America.
And what if she called him? Hearing his voice should be enough to…
"May?" said a voice, startling her.
SHIT, she thought, terrified. HOLY SHIT, SOMEONE KILL ME RIGHT NOW!
She had pressed the calling option and now he was at the other side of the line.
"You called me?" he asked. His voice sounded tired, but it didn't seem as if she had awakened him.
"Yeah. Uhm, it was an accident" she quickly lied. "Sorry"
"You called me at three on the morning by accident?" Coulson replied. "Is everything okay?"
"Sure" she murmured. "You? Are you okay?"
"Me? Of course, why wouldn't' I?... Oh, I get it" he added with a sigh after a small pause. "A nightmare"
May nodded, feeling her throat dry. However, she realized he couldn't see her and swallowed hard to be able to talk.
"Yes" she whispered, acquiring a sitting position.
"You okay?" he asked. She could hear his sheets moving too, surely he was also in his bed. "Do you want me to come over?"
Yes!, she screamed in her mid. Oh, how badly she wanted him to go to her, she knew that if she asked him to he would get there in an instant, as he always did when she needed him. Nevertheless, she knew it would be a problem. Because she wanted him to be at her side, but also needed him to kiss her and hold her in his arms and love her… And he was in love with other woman.
"No" May finally said, remembering that he was over the phone. "I'm fine" she lied.
"You don't sound fine" he replied. Damn it, he knew her too well. "What did you dream?"
"That I… I killed you" she admitted, taking a deep breath to keep her breathing calmed.
"Oh" Coulson muttered. "Melinda…"
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay" she interrupted him.
"You wanna talk about it?" Asked Phil, heedful as always.
"Uhm, not really" she answered.
They remained silent for a moment. It was amazing how, despite being several feet away, just hearing his breathing on the other side of the line was enough to calm her down. A part of her reminded her it was too late and they should probably rest, but she was too selfish to let him go.
"I dreamed with you too" he suddenly said. Her heart skipped a beat "I mean, in another way… I didn't… I just…"
"I get you" she stopped him, smiling. He was such a dork. And kind of cute. And she loved him.
"You're smiling" said Coulson.
"No, I'm not" she replied, feeling her smile growing bigger.
"Yes, you are. I can hear you smiling, Melinda" He was smiling too, she could tell that by the sound of his voice.
"And what did you dream?" May asked, trying to distract him.
"It was a nice dream, actually" he admitted.
"Tell me about it" She asked. She surprised herself by doing it, but she needed to forget the nightmare.
"Well, we were in Greece… Do you remember it?"
Of course she remembered it, had been by far her favourite mission. Three weeks in a lost Greek beach, which seemed stolen from a fairy tale, with a turquoise sea and white sand. They had gone there to monitor an owner of a grand hotel accused of stealing army weapons, but the investigations were simple and the hotel was several miles from the shore where they were, so they were practically alone in their secret paradise.
She loved him too when they were in Greece. A lot of things had changed since that. But she still loved him.
"Summer, 1990" was all she said.
"Yeah. So, in my dream, we're at the beach, the one that had ancient ruins and was completely empty of human beings… The sunset is almost done... The sky is orange and the water turquoise, the waves reach a little further than where we are" His voice was soft and serene, just like how she remembered the ocean from that dreamy beach. It seemed as if he was telling her a story, and she closed her eyes to imagine the moment. "None of us is wearing shoes or coats, the evening is quite warm. You're wearing a dress, don't kill me, it's black and knee-length, very simple, but you look beautiful with it" Beautiful. He had called her beautiful and couldn't even suspect how that made her feel. "I'm wearing jeans and a shirt. It's like the last day of our mission, remember? It was your birthday; we lit a campfire and had a picnic… You still there?"
"Yes… Please, continue"
"Sure. So that's what we did for your birthday" continued Phil. She heard him moving and supposed that he had fallen over the pillows. Not quite sure of why, she did the same and let out a stupid smile. Talking over the phone with the guy she loved, she felt like a teenager again. It had been better if he loved her back, though. "But now it's earlier and the sun, barely visible, it's still in the sky… We're walking by the seashore now, wetting our feet in the water and splattering each other. Suddenly, you start running in the sand and I follow you. We run, laughing like children, as we did that time. I imprison you in my arms" Oh, his voice. He makes her heart run just with her voice. "You tell me that you could flip me in twenty seven ways, you probably can, but we're just laughing. I love when you laugh. We fall and roll over the sand. You're lying on the sand and I'm over you, leaning on one of my arms. Your hair is covering your face, so I put a strand behind your ear. We look at each other and smile. And there is when I kiss you"
Beep, Beep, Beep.
WHAT THE HELL?
"Phil?" exclaimed a pretty surprised May, straightening up, but the line was already dead.
Her heart had never run that quickly or beaten so hardly. Oh God, oh dear God. She felt as if she was running the marathon of her life. Calm down, Melinda, she ordered herself. Perhaps she had misheard him. Perhaps he had said miss, piss, or even hit… Or had he really said kiss? Well, it had been a dream, right? But if he had been joking, he would have said something like 'crazy, isn't it?' and she would have lied and said that she was tired only to hang up and cry off her face to sleep.
She had to do something, she thought. With every passing second he probably thought he was an idiot for telling her that. For being such a smart guy he could be pretty blind at some things. She dialled the number again and waited, biting one of her nails nervously. Tut. Come on, Phil. Tut. Shit, he had to answer. Tut. Tut. Maybe he was embarrassed and guilty for betraying Audrey. Tut. Tut. Maybe….
"Hello?" asked Coulson after a few seconds. He was clearly nervous, and probably thought he had screwed everything and that she was calling to kill him.
"Whtappahesetexn?" replied May in one breath. Good job, dumbass
"What?"
She took a deep breath. Melinda May did NOT babble.
"What happens next?" she repeated, more calmed. Not bothering in putting on shoes, she got out of her bed and left her room to head up to his. They were not far, just about thirty feet away. "After you kiss me"
"Uh…" She could hear him scratching his head at the other side of the line. After a small pause of silence he exhaled and sighed, giving up and finally taking a deep breath to speak. "You tell me that you love me. And then I say it back"
May covered her mouth with her left hand to cover a gasp he would surely hear.
"You mean it?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
"May…"
"You love me?" She knew it was something stupid and that it had been nothing more but a dream, but she needed to know. "In your dream, do you love me?"
"Yes. I loved you" he answered.
Deciding it had been enough, May hang up. It had been a nice dream. A really nice one. But it was time to wake up and deal with reality. He had loved her. Even if it had been for a small moment in the unconsciousness of his head, he had loved her back. That had to be enough. Though it wasn't.
"Melinda, wait" said a voice behind her back. It was his voice, but he wasn't on the phone but standing on the doorway.
May didn't say anything. She stayed where she was, facing the dark hallway and giving her back to him. It had been a stupid dream, and she couldn't let him realize how much it had affected her.
"It was just a dream" she whispered. "It's fine"
"Do you even care?" he said. Oh, only if he knew…
"It's a dream" she insisted. She wouldn't destroy their perfect friendship for something like her selfish and unrequited feelings. He probably wanted to know if he had stepped over the line that had separated them during all those years. He was too blind to see how dead that line was for her. "Don't worry"
Phil grabbed her wrist gently and turned her around to see her face. He was wearing suit pants and a Captain America t-shit she had given him for his birthday so many years ago. It was washed-out and old. But she didn't care. She liked him wearing it and now it calmed her down. A little. Sort of.
"Worry?" he asked. "Why should I worry?"
"You know it" replied May, looking away. "But it was a dream. I get it. That's why you said it"
"You said it first" he recalled.
"Whatever" she murmured. "It wasn't real"
May made a move to walk away, but the grip on her wrist tightened.
"Do you know why you said it first?" asked Phil. "Because, in my dreams, you always say it first. Because then I don't have to say it myself and get rejected"
Finally he released her and, with a sigh, wanted to re-close the door. Feeling her heart pounding hard in her chest, she put one foot to stop it. She was barefoot and it hurt a lot, but bit her tongue and said nothing about it. His words were far more important than a small smack.
"What did you say?" May asked instead, opening the door to see his face. He looks tired. A little worried, maybe. But not regretful.
"What you heard"
"You mean it?"
"Melinda…"
"Do you mean it, Phil?" she insisted. She entered and closed behind her. His room was as warm as hers, but felt different. Cozier.
"Yes" replied Coulson, shrugging. "I've been meaning it for about thirty years"
"What?"
"Remember that night back at the Academy, when we stayed at the kitchen's fridge to don't get caught?"
That had been at their fourth year. She had dragged him into one of her legendary pranks and somehow they had ended up locked at the fridge, for they had hidden in there to escape from a cook who had seen them without knowing that it opened from the outside. They had been there all night long. The next morning, with their teeth chattering because of the cold, someone had found them and sent them straight to Fury's office.
"That's how I knew it" continued Phil, with a small smirk of resignation. "When you told me to calm down and ate by yourself 67 oz. of strawberry ice-cream… That's when I realized that I love you"
"But, I'm different as how I used to be" she remembered him, he eyes suddenly darkened. "I'm not the same. She's gone"
"I know" he said. "But it's not the old you who I'm looking for. And need more than anything in this life. And desperately love. That's you"
"I… I wanted you to kiss me" said May. Damn coward, she snapped herself. He loved her. He really loved her. And now she couldn't say it back?
"What?" Now it was his turn to feel surprised.
"In Greece" she explained herself, swallowing hard. "I wanted you to kiss me"
"Really?" he said. "I thought that you… that never… I mean, we… the agency and…"
"You are the director now" May took a step in his direction, shortening the distance between them to a few inches. "You can do whatever you want" she added in a whisper.
"Whatever I want?"
"Everything"
Without another word, they both approached at the same time. Coulson held her face in his hands and kissed her gently on the lips. Instinctively, she circled his neck with her arms, savouring the kiss that for so many years had been expecting. It tasted like peppermint tea and a hint of coffee and for the first time the taste did not bother her at all. When they pulled apart she just looked her in the eye.
"I love you" she said, thinking in his dream. She stood in her tiptoes and kissed him again, feeling his smile when she pressed her lips against his.
"I love you too, Melinda May" he said, hugging her.
May let him wrap her in his arms, closing her eyes. They stood like that in silence, each trying to absorb what had just happened and what the other had said.
"It's late" Phil commented, kissing her forehead.
"I'll leave so you can rest" she muttered, taking a step back.
"No, I don't want you to go" he said, reaching out for her hand.
"Okay" said May. Her voice was sweet and steady, just like her factions. In her head, all her person was dancing the conga.
Coulson smiled and they both slid under the sheets. Even if the bed was quite big, May stayed by his side very close to him, resting the top of her head against his chest. If that surprised him, and it probably did, he hid it pretty well.
"Did you make it up to calm me?" she suddenly asked, rather shyly."Or you really dream about me?"
"No, it was real" he admitted, somewhat embarrassed, "It's always you and me. In Greece"
"Why?" It wasn't really her thing to speak a lot or ask too much questions, but she couldn't stop herself.
"I don't know" answered Phil, gently stroking her hair. "I like Greece. It's like our place. Somewhere only we know… Good night, Mel"
"Night, Phil"
May snuggled against him. She was exhausted, she'd have time the next day to do everything she wanted to do and ended to believe that he love her. She closed her eyes and fell asleep listening to his heartbeat. As how she had expected, she didn't have any more nightmares.
Please tell me what you think guys... Reviews and critics will be happily accepted :)