A/N- I CANNOT believe I am writing this. Sex scenes are hard, especially when you are a sex repulsed asexual. The things I do for you guys, fuck...

Hide was never interested in a romantic, or sexual relationship with Kaneki, and after his second year of high school Kaneki had accepted that. He had buried any feelings of lust for the other boy, and took care of any 'problems' that he may have in privacy, and when he had all the time in the world to remedy said 'Problem'. He accepted Hide's vivid heterosexuality, and Hide accepted Kaneki's bisexuality. Though he never told him about his preference for men. No, Kaneki kept his fantasies under tight lock, and key. Though when his desires lingered after he became a ghoul, and even after his transformation they stayed, and they became darker, more sadistic. He often found them drifting to an area where he would consume Hide while he pleasured Kaneki. Of course these newfound desires scared him, and he knew he would need a better outlet for his sexual frustrations other than his own well adjusted hand, and nimble fingers. This, my dear reader, is where our protagonist Tsukiyama Shuu comes into play. Tsukiyama Shuu will admit tactlessly that he desired greatly to eat Kaneki. That was a desire they would never go away. However, we desire many things. We desire a million dollars. But would we murder our grandmother to obtain it via a will? Of course not. Tsukiyama Shuu also will admit that he would love to dress Kaneki is a cute dress, hair bow, and small one inch heels. Was he going to do that? Not if he valued his life. Above all, he loved Kaneki. His desire to eat his lover never went away, but was curbed by other, stronger desires. Desires that told him to protect, cherish, and love Kaneki instead of eat him. These desires, he came to find, were much stronger than his desire to eat the boy.

Which is why, when Kaneki came to him with an interesting proposal, he couldn't say no. After all, he had vowed himself as Kaneki's faithful, and attentive servant. It would go against his very word if he turned the half-ghoul down. Which, is to his great sadness, he finds himself in this particular situation. Which happens to be in between the Kaneki Ken's legs.

"Hide." Kaneki grunts out again. Tsukiyama would have sighed heavily if his mouth wasn't currently preoccupied. Instead, an eye roll would do. Yes, the proposal was to assist Kaneki with his less than innocent desires about his human best friend. At first, Tsukiyama was more than happy to have at least this with Kaneki. He ignored the breathy moans of "Yes, Hide. More. Just like that, Hide." He pretended like these actions didn't bother him, but every man has their limit. He went from ignoring the name, Hide, too pretending Kaneki was moaning his name instead. Every time Kaneki would breath, "Hide." Tsukiyama would mentally correct him. "Hide." Kaneki said. "Shuu." Tsukiyama corrected in his mind. This worked for a while. Until after about ten or twenty rounds with the white haired boy, he found his resolve giving way. Pleasuring Kaneki became a chore. Not because he didn't want this kind of relationship with him, but his heart couldn't take the abuse for much longer. He continued his work in silence, and without necessary movement. His heart dropping further, and further in his chest each time Kaneki would say that human's name instead of his. It wasn't Hide that was holding Kaneki. It wasn't Hide that was soliciting breathy moans from him, and it wasn't Hide that was causing Kaneki to ball the bed sheets tightly as his back arched high in the air from the pleasure. After when seemed like a long while, but in reality was only a few more minutes, Kaneki's back arched even higher into the air, and he finished without any warning or regard for Tsukiyama. Surprised by the sudden rush of liquid in his mouth, he pulled off of Kaneki, and began coughing loudly. He vaguely registered that is was Hide's name that Kaneki called out in his orgasm, and not Tsukiyama's.

Tsukiyama coughed some more, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His hair was askew, and his cardigan laying abandon on the floor beside him. When he had finally recovered from his coughing fit, he noticed that Kaneki was sitting on the edge of the bed already pulling on his shirt. Tsukiyama sat in silence like every other time, waiting to be dismissed.

"You can go." Kaneki said. His breathy, lust laced voice from their previous activities was now gone, and his unemotional voice was replaced instead. If Tsukiyama was a few years younger, and did not have a better grip on his emotions he might have noticed his eyes watering up at the cold regard Kaneki gave him after sex.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay or something? Maybe we could read together. I got this new boo-" Kaneki glared sharply at him, and Tsukiyama's sentence trailed off into incoherent mumbles. He sighed, and grabbed his shoes, and cardigan off of the bedroom floor, and quietly walked out of the room. Shutting the door behind him.

Once the door was closed, he sniffed gently, and dabbed away a stray tear from the corner of his eye. He heard the TV playing loudly in the central lounge, so he knew the rest of the group was still awake. He squared his shoulders, and prepared for the walk of shame.

"Tsukiyama!" one of the gas mask lackeys said as he entered the room. "That was quick. Kaneki get his fill of you today did he?" He asked while laughing. Soon the others joined in, and Tsukiyama was thankful that Hinami was in bed, and didn't have to listen to their lewd jokes. He sent a tight smile toward the men, and pulled his shoes over his feet, and his light cardigan over his shoulders. He turned toward the door.

"Eh, we will see you tomorrow night, right?" He heard somebody call after him followed by a wave of group laughter. Tsukiyama shut the door quickly, and pulled his stalking cap over his head. It was a little chilly out after all. Tsukiyama's apartment was only a few blocks away. And he would not admit that he shed more than a few tears on his way home.

~ 3 ~

"Come over tonight."- Kaneki-Kun

Tsukiyama sighed. It was only noon, and he had already gotten the familiar command text from Kaneki. He probably had another dream about the human last night, Tsukiyama thought to himself. Tsukiyama hadn't even rolled out of bed yet. The only reason he was awake was from the chime of Kaneki's text.

"I have coffee with a friend today. If I do come over, it won't be till late." Tsukiyama texted back in a half asleep daze. He threw his blankets off of himself, and stumbled into his bathroom. Laying his phone on the sink edge. Ding. His phone alerted him to another message.

"Who? What friend?"- Kaneki-Kun

Tsukiyama rolled his eyes. Did Kaneki seriously think he was going to back stab him now? He grew a bit annoyed that Kaneki would think he was entitled to that kind of information.

"A friend." He texted back quickly, and turned his phone on silent. He reached into his medicine cabinet, and pulled out his face wash, and toothbrush. As he brushed his teeth, he pretended not to notice the screen of his phone light up with the alert of a new message.

~ 3 ~

"Shuu." Came a voice as he entered the coffee shop. Not Anteiku. He wasn't that stupid, to arrange a meet up there. He shuddered at the thought of running into Kamishiro-kun

"Chie." Tsukiyama said with a smile, and a wave as he located his friend. His human friend, might he add. She sat at a both with a plate of what looked like pancakes. She was nursing a cup of coffee, and Tsukiyama noticed that she had ordered a cup for him also. He walked over to his seat quickly, and took off his coat.

"How have you been?" She asked in her usual neutral voice. Her hair was short, and brown, and her eyes were wide, always perceiving, and also a light shade of brown. She hadn't changed a day since their high school years. The only thing that was different was the updated camera that she had around her neck. It was a present from Tsukiyama for her birthday that had come, and gone a few months back.

"Fine, fine." Tsukiyama lied with a wave of his hand. Chie caught onto this at once, but instead launched into a discussion of her new horror photograph collections that focused on ghoul eating scenes. It both disgusted, and fascinated the public. These were scenes that Chie wouldn't have access to if it weren't for Tsukiyama pulling some favors from past connections. Tsukiyama listened with feigned interest. His mind drifting to the still ignored texts from Kaneki that lay unread in this phone. He even began to toss around the idea of not visiting the one-eyed ghoul tonight. It would be the first time he would disobey an order from Kaneki, and there was no telling what kind of punishment he might receive from such a decision.

"What is bothering you?" the girl asked, sipping her coffee. Tsukiyama blinked at the questioned. Obviously not expecting it.

"What? Nothing of course. Silly mouse." He said with a chuckle. Chie was not convinced.

"Tell me, or I'll leak your photos." She said. Tsukiyama knew her threats were empty. She had been playing that card since their freshmen year of high school. But there was a part of him that wanted his feelings to be validated by at least somebody! So he told his oldest friend what had been bothering him. His deal with Kaneki. His feelings for Kaneki, and how he felt about being used as a tool for the boy to suppress his desires. Chie listened with a quiet fascination, and waited patiently for Tsukiyama to finish.

"Tsukiyama, I want you to explain to me what a bad person is." She said at last, cutting a small triangle out of her pancake, and putting it in her mouth. Tsukiyama thought for a second, and said,

"It is somebody who does bad things." He said as though it was the obvious answer. Chie shook her head.

"It is somebody, who does not learn from their mistakes, and does not use the lessons from those mistakes to make themselves a better person." She answered. Tsukiyama sat in shock, waiting for her to clarify.

"I have been documenting your eating habits since we were teenagers." She said quietly, eating more of her pancake. "Tell me, what have you been eating lately?" She asked.

"Suicide victims." Tsukiyama answered immediately, keeping his voice low.

"Would you kill Kaneki?" She asked simply.

"Never." He answered.

"Are you the same person who ran the Ghoul Restaurant in the 20th ward?" She asked, polishing off the cakes, and pushing the plate toward the edge of the table for the waitress to pick up.

"No." Tsukiyama whispered. Chie shrugged.

"As far as I am concerned, you are a good person. You learned from your past mistakes, and made your current self better because of it. You don't deserve to be manipulated like this." Chie said. Tsukiyama shook his head. He didn't see himself as a good person. He probably deserved the treatment that the rest of the group showed him.

"A man is not a fine man because he is above the actions of others. A man is a fine man because he is above the actions of his past self." Chie said. Tsukiyama smiled.

"Hemingway. You read the book I gave you." Chie pulled on her coat, and purse.

"Tell him how you feel, Tsukiyama. The least he should do is respect your feelings and not ask you to continue this service for him. If he doesn't do that, then maybe you should ask yourself what the you of right now deserves." And with that, Tsukiyama Shuu's human friend stepped out of the booth, and placed a small hand on his shoulder.

"I assume you are paying." She said, though her eyes spoke different words. Words of comfort, and friendship.

"Don't I always?" Tsukiyama answered, placing his hand over hers, and letting his thumb rub a comforting circle on the back of her hand. His eyes held words of happiness.

~ 3 ~

Tsukiyama took a deep breath. One. Two. Three. Exhale. He turned the spare key he owned in the lock, and the door swung open revealing the apartment. It was late. Everybody was sure to have gone to sleep. However, the adults of the group all turned toward Tsukiyama with wide eyes. Clearly not expecting him to show up.

"What are you all staring at?" He asked, and before anybody could answer, the door closed, and behind it stood Kaneki. He looked incredibly angry. Not the kind of anger that a parent would have with a child that broke a vase, but a murderous kind of anger. It made Tsukiyama want to walk right back out the door he came through.

"Bedroom. Now." Kaneki growled. For some reason, Tsukiyama didn't think this was due to his pent up sexual frustration, and had something more to do with Tsukiyama disobeying a direct order. Eyes watched him as he gathered up his dignity, and he began walking down the hall, and into Kaneki's bedroom. He could hear the boy following behind him closely, and the bedroom door closed with a large bang behind him.

He flinched at the sound, and before he could talk, his arm was twisted from his side, and held against his back.

"I don't know what game you are playing at Tsukiyama, but when I order you to do something, you might want to consider doing it." He said in a calm voice. Tsukiyama knew all too well that the more calm Kaneki's voice became, the angrier he was.

"I-" Tsukiyama tried to begin explaining himself, but he was shoved onto the bed. Kaneki cracked his finger menacingly, and crawled onto his back, shoving his face into the comforter.

"Strip." Kaneki ordered as he began tearing off his shirt. Tsukiyama shook his head, and fought against him.

"Disobeying me again." Kaneki said. "What is wrong with you today?" Tsukiyama took advantage of the boys confusion, and pushed him off of him.

"Let me talk!" Tsukiyama yelled, but Kaneki didn't seem to hear him. Clearly in shock that Tsukiyama had actually pushed him.

"Do you want to fight, Tsukiyama?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. Tsukiyama did the only thing that seemed rational. Don't run. That would make Kaneki think he was hiding something. Don't punch him. That would start a fight for sure. Tsukiyama did the next best thing. He slapped him. The loud noise from the brave slap echoed throughout the soundproof room, and Kaneki stood in shock, his eyes wide. He probably would have struck Tsukiyama back, if he hadn't noticed the tears streaming down the older man's face. Tsukiyama took the silence as his chance to talk.

"I don't want to do this anymore." He managed to chock out. Kaneki's brow furrowed, and his mouth set into a scowl.

"The perverted, Tsukiyama Shuu doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. Don't make me laugh. You've been after me since Anteiku." He said in a low voice. Tsukiyama shook his head.

"It's not that I don't want to do this things with you anymore, Kaneki. I do. But if we do it, I want it to be us doing it. Not you, and your fantasy of a human!" Tsukiyama shouted. Kaneki placed a well aimed hit to the side of Tsukiyama's face, that sent him flying into the bookshelf behind him.

"What are you saying?" Kaneki asked approaching the Tsukiyama, that laid under a pile of books.

"I love you." Tsukiyama said quietly. "But I'm not going to subject myself to this if the feeling is not mutual." He finished, pulling books off of himself, and standing up, and out of the pile.

"Don't be disgusting." Kaneki whispered, his eyes turned away from the older man, and his hand scratching his jaw. Tsukiyama starred up at the boy for a moment, not even trying to stop the tears that began to fall down his face.

"I see." He said picking up his jacket from the floor. "I'll leave the pin number to my savings account in the mailbox." Tsukiyama said, pulling his arm through the jacket. Kaneki stood, still gazing at the pile of books. "Use whatever previsions you may need. I will, of course continue to fund your group. Please have Banjo-san contact me with information of the next raid." Tsukiyama pulled the bedroom door open, and closed it quickly, walking toward the front door, ignoring the eyes that followed him the entire way.

"So that's it? You're going to let your shitty emotions get in the way of the group?!" Kaneki yelled after him. Tsukiyama bit his lip, his hand hovering over the front door handle. He was tempted to turn back around, and explain himself further.

"Goodbye, Kaneki-kun." He said, opening the door, and closing it with a soft thud. He would not admit that he cried during the six block walk home that night.

A/N- Reviews make chapters post faster. That is it. That is the secret to a finished fanfic. Review. You're welcome.