It wasn't because of the numerous occasions I was rendered the damsel in distress, thanks to my lack of magical ability. It wasn't because of the trouble my family had caused the guild. It wasn't because of the seven years I'd spent in a coma—a corner Acnologia had backed us into, or their devastating consequences: my father's funeral, attended by friends he'd made while I was sleeping, mere months before I awoke. It wasn't even because of my mother, whose loss I still sometimes struggle to stand under. It wasn't because of writer's block, all the tears I'd shed and all the ones I forced myself not to, or because I was beginning to suspect that Natsu Dragneel had feelings for me.

None of those things were what drove me to leave the guild I'd longed to join since childhood.

It was all of them.

It was none of them.

In truth, I couldn't have said exactly what drove me to leave, at the time. It would take months before those words came to me. Months and months, and immeasurable sadness, and a remembered promise. Even the letter I wrote—which took me weeks too long to write—felt wrong, even once I had.

But, though my reasons were unexplainable, undefinable, indefinite, their outcome was fixed:

I had to go.

I was at the Guild early enough that only Mira and Makarov were there to hear my goodbye. Just like I planned it.

Silently, stoically, the two white-haired mages heard me out as I explained myself, standing before the bar. Even Mira was uncharacteristically silent when I finished, her only reaction being to turn to the short, elderly master we all admired, mouth slightly open. I had known Mirajane would object.

It was Master's reaction I wasn't too sure about.

In rare form, he was serious. The depths of his eyes were cast into me, and I found it difficult not to squirm beneath the heavy load on my back. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him, instead slanting my eyes towards the floor. The draw to my lips was tight. As he watched me, and Mira watched him, I heard whisperings of enemies even Gildarts couldn't have hoped to defeat, magical objects that could've torn the world apart in the blink of an eye, bonds that stretched beyond magic and bridged the gap between life and death, love, and acceptance. A side effect of his Telepathy Magic.

I knew that the whisperings were a glimpse into the mind of one of the ten Wizard Saints, and into that of an old man who had seen many things. Which title humbled me more? Even now, I can't say. Sweat beaded on my forehead.

Sighing, he closed his eyes and bowed his head.

"We will miss you around here, Lucy. You offer sanity very few of Fairy Tail's brats possess. But I have watched you grow since you joined our guild, and I know that you will only grow more. I have faith that you will return to your family, to brighten our days once more."

My mouth fell open as I snapped my gaze up to him.

"Master!" Mirajane exclaimed, but something in the immovability with which he remained sitting, cross-legged on the bar with his head bowed discouraged her from continuing. Instead, she glanced between us, wide-eyed.

Tears sprang to my eyes as I stared at him, feeling a hundred things at once—most predominantly, the kind of heartbreak that is worth the love it accompanies, and gratitude.

Master Makarov opened his eyes to look at me once more. I'd never noticed their hue: a deep gray-green.

"You have something for me, my dear?" It wasn't really a question.

I closed my mouth, and reached around to pull a letter from the side pocket of my pack where I had carefully tucked it, only that morning. For a moment, I simply held it tightly in my fingers, staring at the address line I had neatly written:

To: Fairy Tail's Strongest Team.

Not looking up, I pushed the corner of the envelope into Makarov's small, wrinkled hand.

"I'll make sure they get it," he told me solemnly as he took it.

I nodded, still not looking up. Then, without warning, I stepped forward and pulled the old man, who had allowed me into his family without even a second thought, into a tight hug.

For a moment he stiffened. Then, awkwardly, he patted my back. "There, there, child." There was an audible break in his gnarled voice.

I stepped away, smiling at him even as I wiped at a tear, then turned to Mira, whose eyes were also wet. I reached over the bar to wrap my arms around her, squeezing my eyes shut against the memory of her smile as she slid an iced tea in front of me. She hugged me back tightly.

"I'll miss you, Mira," I whispered.

Sniffling, she replied, "I'll miss you, too, Lucy! Come home soon, to keep an eye on Fairy Tail's Strongest Team!"

I let out a laugh choked with emotion. "I will—someone has to."

We released each other, sharing misty smiles.

Then I turned to the front door of the guild hall, brushing my finger tips against the beloved keys at my hip, adjusting my shoulders beneath the straps of the bag that held everything—my entire life, until I found whatever it was I was looking for. Then I took a deep breath, and left, raising my fist into the air as I passed through the door.

"I'll become strong," I said, as optimistically as I could, "For my friends! For Fairy Tail!"

Behind her, Master Makarov bowed his head once more, acceptance settling on the air around him.

"Should we really let her go, Master?" Mira asked worriedly in her sugar-sweet voice, "If we told Natsu now, he would catch up to her before she left. He could talk her out of this."

Makarov looked up, determined and decided.

"No, I don't think the boy could." Mira leaned back slightly in surprise, blinking wide eyes. "Besides. This is a journey Lucy must take."

"But Master—"

"In the Guild, she has come to fill a certain role: Natsu goes on adventures, and she follows, right on his heel. She wants to forge her own way, to take her abilities as a wizard into her own hands. To take the time to connect the dots of the past that have led her to where she is now, and—perhaps—to come to terms with the events of the Grand Magic Games. Who are we to deny her that?"

Mirajane could think of nothing to say to this, instead watching the Master tilt his head up to look at the woody ceiling of the guild hall, as if he saw stars there no one else could.

"I do have one fear, though."

"What is that, Master?"

"I do not believe she will find what she seeks, on this journey. The only strength she will find will be strength that existed within her all along. And I fear…" There was a pause. The silence of the guild hall pressed upon them as Mirajane watched him attentively, listening. "I fear that the only answers she finds, will raise even more questions—questions that will only lead to heartbreak."

Mirajane Strauss cast concerned eyes to the front door of Fairy Tail.

I stood on the hill overlooking Magnolia, squeezing a shivering Plue to my chest. My favorite blue skirt fluttered in the breeze, hair tickling against my cheeks. The sun had barely risen over the town I had claimed as my home. The sky's blue was dusty, tinged pink.

Only the day before I'd been here with friends. Yukino, my spirits, Happy, Natsu…

I gritted my teeth against the memory of Natsu laughing hysterically at the skit I'd put on in an attempt to cheer Aquarius. It had been terrible. Everyone had thought so, except Natsu, who'd teared up laughing. I tried not to squeeze Plue too hard, but he could tell I was sad anyway.

"Mmm." The sound was sympathetic, and his shivering had a melancholy feel to it.

I smiled down at him, but I knew the smile didn't meet my eyes. "Aw, where's that positive attitude, Plue? Don't be so down…we're just going on a new adventure. Just another adventure…"

The smile fell from my lips as I remembered the day in Hargeon that a pink-haired boy—true to his abilities as a Fire Dragon Slayer—had sparked a new era of my life. An era of adventure.

The voice came from the deep recesses of my mind, unbidden:

Am I doing the right thing?

But as with every time the self-doubt crept up, the memories that haunted me flashed to the forefront of my mind:

Happy crying, "Lucy is always Lucy!" Natsu's eyes fixed on me, full of fear as I cowered helplessly before an enemy. Feeling my magic energy drain in the heat of battle, while Titania, queen of the fairies was still re-quipping like she could do it for the rest of her life. The most powerful magic I had to offer being sapped from existence by Raven Tail, from the sidelines of my fight. Praying to avoid Zero even as Natsu sniffed him out and hunted him down. My mother's patient smile. The loving words in my father's last letter to me, soaked in my tears. Erza, telling me that I was a good person (the compliment felt like a gift I didn't deserve.) Reading the words Future Me had written: "…he went into the fire to save us. When the smoke cleared, he was gone…" Warmth in Gray's icy, wolf-like eyes. Wendy's blue pigtails, flashing beneath the sun. Natsu's signature, boyish grin, drawing heat to my cheeks.

Deep breath, Lucy.

I obliged, and looked out over Magnolia with a determined smile.

"I'm sorry, Natsu, Gray, Erza, Wendy…but I'm going to come back strong. You'll see—I won't be a burden anymore."

I knew that I was distilling my reasons down—not even to their bones—but to a partial truth. Not even I understood all of what was driving me to leave the place I once dreamed of going.

"Well, let's go, Plue," I told him, "I already took a risk, coming here. If we don't hurry, Natsu'll sniff me out, for sure."

And I left my home behind.