this is my first fanfic and its a naruto one. please tell me what u think and R&R. thanks

victoria

DISCLAIMER: i do not own naruto or any of the characters

SUMMARY: naruto is suicidal and cuts himself wanting to doe because he is tired of the lie that he lives everyday. he is put under the care of a certain someone and love may bloom.

WARNING: contains yaoi, boyxboy, if you dont like then dont read.

RATED: MA for mature content and R for attempted suicide multiple times

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Chapter 1

(Naruto's POV)

I lay awake on my bed as I cant sleep. Nightmares plague my mind. Nightmares that have haunted my dreams for as long as I could dream. Even though the sky is dark and the stars shine so bright and the rest of Konoah is fast asleep in their warm beds dreaming of pleasant things, I lay awake. My eyes look upon the cracks in the ceiling that is over my head. Cracks that I have memorized every night as I lay awake, wondering when this pitiful life of mine would end. The crickets outside my window play their haunting music and in time I fall asleep.

The sun streaming through my window is what wakes me in the morning, which came to quickly for my liking. I sit up slowly and shield my eyes from the blinding light. My feet make their way to the cold floor of my apartment as I stumble into the small kitchen to see if I have any food left. Of course when I get there, the cupboards are bare and I have no money to stalk up on my favorite thing in the world. Oh well, guess another day without food but that's nothing new. How I still have strength to do anything even surprises me for I haven't eaten anything within a fortnight. The kyubi has given up trying to knock some sense into me because she knows that I wont listen so she has stopped talking to me. I glance up to the clock on the wall and sigh to myself. I walk into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I look the worse for wear but there's nothing I could do about it now. I brush my teeth and rub my face with my hands and put on that stupid smile that fools everyone.

Yes, I hate having to pretend all the time. I hate that I always have to wear this stupid smile on my face to fool my friends, well they call themselves my friends. If they were really my friends then they would notice that this is all an act. But its better this way. I go into my room and get dressed and then head out the door to meet my team at the bridge. As I walk, the leaves that had fallen off the trees crunch under each step I take. Upon seeing the bridge in the distance, I put the mask in place and reach it in no time.

(End Naruto's POV)

As Naruto reaches the bridge, Sakura glares at him but he just brushes past her and leans against the railing opposite Sasuke. The Uchia looks up, a bit confused as to the quietness of the ninja opposite him. He stares, not knowing what is wrong with the hyperactive ninja. Said ninja notices him staring and puts his trademark smile on.

"Oi, Sasuke-teme, what are you staring at?" Naruto asked.

"Nothing dobe."

"Well you were just staring at me."

"Just forget it"

Naruto looks away from his teammate his sparkling blue eyes dulled. A sudden 'poof' of smoke and their sensei was standing in front of the three.

"Kakashi sensei, your late again" Sakura said as she started to scold their sensei about being on time.

"Sorry, but something urgent has jus come up and I am canceling training for today. That is all" and with a puff of smoke, he vanished.

Sakura huffed before she left the bridge to go help Ino at the flower shop. Naruto just turned and walk back in the direction of his apartment. Sasuke stared after him wondering what was wrong with his friend.

(Sasuke's POV)

The dobe is sure acting strange today. But as I think about it, he has been acting this way for a while now. I wonder what is wrong with him. I better follow him to make sure that he doesn't do anything stupid.

(End Sasuke's POV)

Sasuke followed Naruto making sure that he kept his distance not wanting the other to notice that he was being followed. Once Naruto was in his room, Sasuke sat on a branch just outside his window just incase something happened.

After about an hour of just sitting there and nothing happening, Sasuke decided that he would go and check on the dobe latter on. Inside the apartment, Naruto sighed in relief as Sasuke left. Yes, the blonde had noticed that he had been followed and so he didn't do anything to cause attention to himself.

(Naruto's POV)

Finally, I thought that he was never going to leave. I'm sorry Sasuke, but you cant help me, no one can. Not after everything I have been through. Being called a monster and shunned by the village for so long and even now, people look at me with such hatred in their eyes. I just cant take it any more and so this is good-bye.

(End Naruto's POV)

Naruto sat in the corner of his room and put a kunai to his wrist and pushed down. The dark liquid bubbled up from the insertion point and started to drip down his arm. Naruto then cut numerous lines against his wrist, and these were no mere scratches. They were deep and blood heavily dripped from them and made a path down his arm. Naruto smiled sadly to himself that this was the end and that he didn't have to live a lie anymore and he could finally be a peace with himself.

Sasuke was walking away from Naruto's apartment and he was deep in thought.

(Sasuke's POV)

What is wrong with him. Why does he sigh when he thinks that no one is looking. Why is he so quiet all of a sudden and not like his normal self?

(End Sasuke's POV)

Sasuke was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't even realize when he stepped on something and that said something bit into his leg. Sasuke looked down and realized that Akamaru was biting his leg.

"What gives Sasuke? Why did you step on Akamaru like that?" Kiba said.

"I'm sorry Akamaru, I didn't mean to step on you, I was just thinking about something"

"Aarrf"

"He forgives you" Kiba said translating for Akamaru.

Akamaru suddenly whipped his head in the direction that Sasuke just came from and growled low in his throat.

"So you smell it to boy?" Kiba asked his partner.

The little dog just nodded his head and Kiba had a grave expression on his face.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked

"Blood, and a lot of it coming from that direction. And its fresh to" Kiba pointed down the path that Sasuke just traveled and Sasuke got this sick feeling in his stomach.

"Naruto…" Sasuke said before rushing off in his previous direction.

Back in the apartment, everything around him started to drift in and out as he was on the verge of unconsciousness. Naruto's head felt extremely heavy and it was getting harder for him to breathe. Before the darkness wrapped him in her arms, Naruto noticed a hazy figure making its way to where he was and before he could make out who it was, everything was black.

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Authors Note: well what did you guys think? was it good? was it bad? that was only the first chapter. im thinking about changing the title so if you have any duggestions they will be taken into account. please R&R and tell me what you think. PLEASE!!! much love to the readers